LEGION OF SUPERHEROES HEADQUARTERS, TUESDAY, 8: 45 A.M., PACIFIC TIME, DECEMBER 1, 3031
"Are you completely sure you know what's wrong with him?" Timber Wolf looked over to Saturn Girl as they walked into the empty lab, where Computo resided. "I read his mind. I know what I saw." Saturn Girl walked up to Computo and booted "him" up. "This isn't another Alignment, is it?" Superboy looked worriedly over to Saturn Girl. "Not exactly. It usually isn't THAT bad, but what I saw wasn't pretty." "What usually isn't that bad?" Shrinking Violet walked up to her. Saturn Girl looked at her and could easily see that she couldn't have been more worried for Brainiac 5. "Computo. Search 'Coluan Puberty'." Computo whirred quietly, and within a few seconds, a few articles popped up. "Computo. Open article: 'The Coluan Adolescence Stage'." The article popped up, and Saturn Girl began to read it aloud:
"The Coluan adolescence stage lasts 3 weeks and often occurs around the ages of 12 to 15. If this never occurs after age 16, see article: 'Coluan Systematical Errors and How to Take Care of them'.
The first stage takes place during (of course) the first week. The symptoms include:
-Moodiness
-Lack of sleep
-Heightened irritability
-Frequent 'rage quits'
The worst part of the first stage is the swirl of emotions they experience. Scientific studies have shown that their mood swings and 'rage quits' are the equivalent of a human female during menstruation.
The second stage is not as bad as the first, but the symptoms change:
-Hyperactivity
-Insanity
These are the only two known symptoms of this stage. It takes place during the second week, of course.
The third stage is when the actual growing and changing occurs. The symptoms include:
-Isolating oneself
-Being 'snappy'
-Pacing
-Needing desperately to be alone
-Increased arousal possibilities
The last symptom was carefully observed and was thought to be a glitch in their mental code or a systematical error. Since Coluans cannot reproduce until they reach adulthood, there could be no 'mating' to occur. But, after studying for 2 years, it has been proved that this was indeed no error. In fact, the Coluans made sure that this was extremely prominent and easily spotted. The reason why still baffles scientists of all galaxies and races."
Saturn Girl turned around to the others. Everyone stared blankly at the screen. "Puberty? Brainy's a robot, for Christs sake!" Bouncing Boy finally blurted out. Everyone turned to Saturn Girl. "What are we going to do?" asked Triplicate Girl. "We wait it out, Triplicate Girl." Saturn Girl looked over to Triplicate Girl
"We wait it out."