Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, nor do I own any of Twilight's characters. All characters and themes referenced belong to Stephenie Meyer. Any quotations are purely for reference and are in no way an attempt at any copyright infringement. I own nothing except my own plot line and characters you may not recognize.

A/N: Sorry for the long wait. Life's been a little crazy. Hope you enjoy this next bit!

Chapter 2: The Devil on My Left Shoulder

Edward's POV

Bella. Everything I did was for her. I would die for her, and I would kill for her... and I had. I couldn't feel regret for my actions for the purpose they served, but the death of this boy wasn't something I would get over quickly, if at all. I could already feel the flames of hell drawing closer and licking at my flesh. Even when I had taken human life in my dark past, I would always justify it with the reasons that they were bad people doing bad things. But Ethan was an innocent, killed for the sole reason that he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. He didn't deserve what had happened to him.

Surely Alice had seen what I had done in a vision by now. I wondered if she had revealed it to Bella as well. In a way I hoped she had, for I didn't know if I had the strength to admit it to her myself. How would she look at me once she knew the truth? How could I kiss her knowing the lips that touch hers are the same ones that stole the life from an innocent boy. She would never look at me the same way again.

The forest was still and silent as if in shock while Ethan's body rested at its feet. I couldn't look away. His lifeless eyes still shone with desperate tears. Even in his passing he begged for mercy. His desperate pleas continued to ring though my mind along with the sickening crack of his spine.

Taking a step closer toward his body, my stare remained unwavering from his. I deserved to suffer his dead glare for what I had done to him. But his gaze wasn't condemning; it was worse. It was a look of despair.

Please... I don't want to die.

The guilt was too much for me. Kneeling down beside him, I reached out tentatively and slid his eyelids shut with my fingertips. He was still warm.

A clammy sensation on my knee suddenly took my attention from his face. The blood had continued to drain from Ethan's body, dripping from his wound onto the soil beneath him. The viscid burgundy mud it created pooled around him, growing deeper by the second, and had seeped onto my clothing.

The dark glossy syrup oozed around my knee like slow-flowing lava, and I found myself lost in a trance.

Something gnawed at my mind. Guilt, remorse, horror... But there was something else as well. Something unexpected. Unwanted...

Hunger.

The feeling of being starved overtook my other emotions. The fading flavor of Ethan's blood on my tongue suddenly made me feel angry; but not out of guilt. I was angry because I wanted more. I needed more. I tried to suppress the urge to satisfy my hunger, but it wouldn't leave me alone. It breathed down my neck, and whispered into my ear: Have some more.

The forest disappeared as my blackened eyes saw nothing but the blood that surrounded his body. There was nothing else but blood. Human blood. The smell was intoxicating. The monster buried deep within me took over my conscience, and I found my mouth inching closer toward the gash in Ethan's neck.

Stop!

I growled, clenching my fist and kept myself from getting any closer. The scent of his blood was burning my throat and I fought with my inner demon to resist what I had vowed never to drink again.

Admit it; this is what you want. This is what you need. Don't wash away the flavor, wash it down.

No. I'm not a monster!

You already killed him; might as well get something out of it. Give in to what you are. You'll never be hungrier than you are right now.

I found myself salivating venom as the urge inside me became almost too painful to bear. Disgusted with myself, I screamed in disdain as I forced myself away from the boy. I couldn't give in. Pushing myself up, my palms dripped with his blood, marking me for the monster that I was. What had Jane turned me into by forcing this upon me?

"What's happening to me?" I grieved, knowing that any ounce of humanity that was left in me was lost in the moment my teeth pierced through Ethan's flesh.

I wiped my bloodied hands on my jeans and left his mangled body in the dirt as I ran away faster than I ever thought I could. I escaped from the temptation, from the horror, but I couldn't escape the hunger that had begun to plague me. I tried to force it down inside myself and concentrated on Bella's face as I made my way back toward the clearing. All this had to be worth it. It was all for her. If I had to suffer my demons for her, then that is what I would do. I just hoped that my restrain would remain in tact.

-

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Bella's POV

"Who's Ethan?" I asked Alice. My nerves were shot and her lengthy pause only made me worry more.

"I think Edward should tell you when he gets back," she finally replied, smiling half-heartedly.

I scraped my teeth over my bottom lip nervously, only slightly comforted by the fact that he would at least be returning. In what condition he would return remained a mystery, but before I could question Alice any further, Jasper appeared at her side and reeled her against his chest. With a soft kiss to the top of her head, an apparent calmness washed over her as her features relaxed. The crease that furrowed her brow melted away and her face regained its usual pristine glow.

"Thanks, Jazz," Alice breathed, closing her eyes. Her arms snaked around to his back and lock together, making me yearn for Edward's embrace.

Jasper glanced at me and the same calmness enveloped me as well. I appreciated the gesture, but still felt uneasy about the synthetic emotion that was claiming me. I didn't want to be forced to feel calm, I wanted to have good reason to be. The fact that I was being given enigmatic responses and fabricated reassurances made me wonder just how bad things really were.

A chill ran down my spine as the air suddenly grew colder. Things were far from over. I knew that now.

Half an hour later, we were still waiting in the clearing for Edward's return. Not knowing what was going on with Edward was driving me crazy. Alice refused to tell me exactly what she had seen, using the excuse that 'things could still change', which only instilled more fear than comfort.

The thick column of smoke that had risen from Bree's burning body had been reduced to thin wisps – like smoke from a cigarette. I followed the faint grey cloud upward as it climbed the air toward the treetops, and my mind continued to race. I needed answers and had Jasper not kept me under a calm suppression, I might have been inclined to torture some answers out of Alice had I the strength to do so.

A loud cawing tore my attention from the smoke to the eastern border of the clearing. Alice turned to me, her expression unreadable. "He's back," she uttered softly as a crow flew directly over us. It soared over the dwindling fire, straight through the wisps, disrupting smoke with its outstretched wings. Then it disappeared, its ominous caw fading with it as Edward emerged from beyond the trees like an apparition.

I ran toward him the second I saw him, relief washing over me. "Edward!" I called out to him as I made my way closer. He remained motionless at the tree line, just staring at me silently as he watched me approach. As I got closer, I slowed my strides considerably and stopped short in front of him, my breath catching in my throat when I saw a look in his eyes unlike any I've seen before. "Edward?..." My voice shook with uncertainty.

He looked through me. I felt scared for a reason I didn't understand. Taking a hesitant step forward, I closed the small gap between us and reached out for his hand with a baited breath. "What happened? Are you alright?" I whispered.

The sensation of my fingers as they grasped his hand seemed to snap him out of his trance, and his eyes focused on mine. My face reflected in his black pools. He smiled suddenly; unconvincingly. It seemed forced and unnatural.

"You're safe now. It's alright. Nothing is going to hurt you," he replied, pulling me against him. His grasp around my body was tight. Desperate. His lips brushed against my cheek and his hand was at the back of my head as he cradled me against himself protectively. "I promised I would protect you, Bella," he said softly, and began to gently rock me from side to side.

Something was off.

I pulled away and looked up into his eyes. "Why did you run off, Edward? What happened? And who's Ethan?" I asked insistently. He winced slightly at the mention of the name and he lifted his gaze past me toward Alice in the distance. My fingers tightened around his waist, urging him to answer me.

He looked back down, his onyx depths void of emotion. "She didn't tell you?" he inquired, speaking of Alice.

I shook my head slowly, searching his eyes for answers. My heart sped in anticipation.

"I had to. I had no choice," he revealed ambiguously, then stroked my cheek with the back of his fingers. "But you're safe now. It's over."

I covered his hand with mine, stilling it against my face. "I don't understand. What do you mean?" I persisted cautiously.

"Ethan. I killed him... to save you."

The butterflies in my stomach rose to my throat. For the first time, I saw the blood that was staining his clothes and realized that Ethan was a human. I didn't know what to say. The blank expression suddenly took on one of torment and I startled as he grasped at my arms, pulling me back against him desperately.

"I had no choice," Edward repeated, whispering into my ear. His cool breath chilled me, raising my skin to gooseflesh.

I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck. "It's okay," I soothed, raking my fingers upward into his bronze hair. I didn't know what else to say. His lips slowly grazed across my neck, making me shiver and I closed my eyes as he savored my skin with a slow deep kiss. "It's going to be okay..."