Title: A Very Gay & Blasphemous Carol (2 of 3)
Author: TehOpheliac (on LJ and here-- go to my profile for a link)
Recipient: Watermaline (on LJ)
Rating: R (for foul language and a little violence)
Warnings: Art Inside, Crackfic, tit cookies, bonbon addiction, AU, AUfuture!Dean, AUfuture!Castiel, kidfic, future!fic, Selfcest (flirting only), kinky (tiny) dominant!Castiel scene, brief non-explicit sex (that Dean accidentally walks in on and flees).
Spoilers / Wordcount: Seasons 1-5 (up to episode 8) / 20,000 words
Summary: Dean and Castiel are not-so-secretly pining for each other. It's enough to make Gabriel roll his eyes and want to retch! They need to fuck and get on with it already— there's an Apocalypse going on! If they want to survive, they need to stop making goo-goo eyes at each other and actually fight. To accomplish this task, the Trickster comes up with a devious plan...
Author's Notes: First things first, the new art [http : // tinyurl . com / ygoz8kf --Take away the spaces.] and the original cover art [http : // tinyurl . com / ygaobkk --Take away the spaces.] for this fic! :D It's not completely finished, but it's at a point where I'm willing to post a link to it so you guys can see it. This version was drawn with pencil and paper by Ph1shF00d (on DeviantArt). She's going to be redoing it digitally and coloring it, so if you check in here or on my LJ, you can see the completed version shortly. :D
This fic really got away from me. Originally, I'd only intended for it to be about 2k or so (since I'm new to writing SPN). I'm not really sure what happened. The plot just sort of exploded and ran me over. It was the fic that never wanted to end and since I write really slowly, it consumed my life. I was actually getting really worried that I wouldn't be able to finish it in time. As it is, I had to rush the ending (I hope it's not too noticeable) and the beta-ing process (so if there are errors or plots holes, it's because we ran out of time). Sorry about that! Oh, and, there's the possibility of a sequel (mind you, it would be a smallish selfcest/Cas threesome fic) if there's enough interest (and I can come up with a plot).
Alright, now it's time for a bunch of thank you's and crediting. There are a lot of people that I need to thank for helping me with this fic. First off, I'm going to thank the artists. Thank you, ThisFishFlies (LJ), for the beautiful wings/halo spacer inserts that you bribed me with (also, thanks for the help, encouragement, and general enthusiasm). Thank you, Ph1shF00d (DA), for the gorgeous illustrations.
First off, here's the most important and the biggest thank you of all. Thank you, Trill_GutterBug (LJ)! This awesome person? Is my beta. I would be so very lost without her. Really, you have no idea. xD She was there to help me through this fic, encourage me, fix my errors, point out plot holes / things that don't make sense and make suggestions. This is, by no means, a small feat. There's no way I'd have been able to write this fic without her. xD She was my lifeline! SO, YES. THANK YOU VERY MUCH!! 3
Next, I'd like to take the time to thank C00kie (LJ) for helping to give me the initial concept of the children, Alli and Austin. Without her help, I can honestly say I'd be missing about 1/3rd of my plot and the kids would probably have ended up boring (or annoying-- or both).
Thank you, Entangled_Now (LJ), for giving me the slap on the hand as well as encouragement when I wanted to give up. She gave me the motivation to barrel on and finish the fic when the deadline was running close and I was being overwhelmed.
A huge thank you to Spilled_Notes (LJ) without whom there would be no plot to speak of. She was there to listen to me babble, encourage me, and help out with a few ideas of her own. 3 Talking to her helped me to organize my thoughts and plot out the events of the fic in my head so I could write them out. Also? I wouldn't have dared to use the Trickster without her encouragement.
I'd like to give a big thanks to FairyEyez27 (LJ) as well. Not only did she encourage me to write the fic, but she also took the time to write out the rough initial version of dominant!Castiel/not-Dean scene that Dean walked in on. With her permission, I revised, edited, and rewrote it to fit my writing style in the fic.
Finally, I'd like to thank Vampire Weekend (). She was one of the first people I went to with the fic's plot and she listened to me complain and blather on about it for an extended period of time. xD THANK YOU-- ALL OF YOU!
Info: This fic is completed. It's about 20,000 words long and I will be posting it in three pieces on this site, alright? The whole fic will be available for you to read on my LJ (if you go to my profile, you'll find a link to my LJ) right now. The rest will be updated and this fic completed within the week at the very latest. I'd promise it within three days, but my work life is a bit hectic right now, so no promises. Anyway, enjoy! :D
A Very Gay and Blasphemous Carol,
By TehOpheliac
Dean rubbed the back of his neck and peered into the living room, feeling foolish. Alli was right, he was acting immature and stupid. The whole situation might be awkward and weird, but when would he ever get the chance again? As best as he could understand, this was only a possible future for him. There was no guarantee that it would ever really come to pass. Besides, who knew how long he'd have to spend in this alternate reality? It could be days, hours, weeks; there was no way of knowing. Dean needed to make the best of it while he was still able to.
The breath caught in his throat as Dean glanced up and watched the scene unfold around him. not-Dean was stringing multi-colored Christmas lights around the top of the tree, slowly working his way down as Castiel straightened the tree skirt. Alli was giggling to herself as she ripped open cardboard boxes and chose various forms of decorations that she handed off to Austin with a grin.
There was a painful pressure in Dean's chest, squeezing his heart so tightly it was hard to breathe. Unbidden, suppressed longing rose up in Dean, hidden away for so long that he hadn't even realized it was there. He wanted this, all of it, so much it hurt. Dean wanted a loving family to celebrate the holidays with, to protect, to cherish. He could only vaguely remember a time when his life had been like this.
Dean watched as Castiel stood up and turned to not-Dean, opening his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by a string of garland wrapping around him. He frowned at not-Dean, his eyebrows furrowing and his mouth turning down at the corners in that "I am not amused" look that Dean loved to coax out of him. "Dean, this sparkly decoration is itchy and uncomfortable," he said.
not-Dean laughed, adjusting the garland so it was even more tangled around the angel. "There. Now you're all sparkly and pretty like that pussy vampire in that bullshit chick flick," he said, grabbing the ends of the garland and using them to tug Castiel close.
Castiel huffed and gave him a disapproving look, "It is unwise..." he began, but was cut off by not-Dean leaning forward and kissing him. Dean's heart began to pound as Castiel kissed back, lips hungry and sweet. It was like watching one of his biggest fantasies come to life right before his eyes. Heat swelled in his groin (which was just wrong when there were children nearby) and Dean found he was unable to look away.
Alli saved him from a potentially humiliating experience when she picked up one of the plastic Christmas baubles and threw it at not-Dean with a cry of, "EWWW, THAT'S GROSS! YOU'RE GIVING FATHER COOTIES!"
not-Dean pulled away from Castiel with a laugh and waggled his eyebrows at the little girl. "Well then, I'll just have to give you some cooties too!" Alli screamed as not-Dean lunged at her and began to tickle her.
"Dean," Castiel said, untangling the garland from his body and noticing Dean lingering in the doorway. "I am glad you have come to join us."
Dean's stomach twisted as everyone looked over at him. Alli grinned and wiggled out of not-Dean's grasp. She ran over to him, pretending to give him a hug but actually taking advantage of the angle to say in a loud whisper, "I'm glad our talk knocked some sense into you."
Dean shook his head in disbelief and gave her a wry grin. "You're really something else, you know that?" He gave her a playful swat on the behind that sent her scurrying across the room laughing.
not-Dean stood up and dusted himself off before turning to face Dean with a smirk. Castiel stepped forward and held out the long string of garland, his hair littered with fragments left behind from his former mishaps. "Would like to assist us in decorating the tree?"
"I... no. I'll watch, thanks," Dean said with an awkward smile. His heart was heavy, confused, half wanting someone to insist he help out and half wanting the topic to be dropped completely.
Therefore, it came as a complete surprise when Austin walked over and grabbed his hand. The boy flipped it over and pressed a smooth round ornament into his palm, using his small fingers to wrap Dean's hand around it. Dean's heart skipped a beat when Austin looked up at him with hopeful eyes, his lips curling into a tiny smile. "Alright," Dean said, his resolve melting. "I'll help decorate the tree, but no more chick flick moments."
Hours later, when he's warm and snuggled up on the guest-bed, Dean's still completely baffled (and more than a little embarrassed) by how domestic the rest of the night had been. It was as if the floodgate doors had opened the moment he'd agreed to help decorate the Christmas tree and nothing, not even Lucifer himself, would have been able to force Dean to deny these kids.
Alli had begged him to help make Christmas cookies for Santa and Dean hadn't been able to say no. He'd followed Austin, Castiel, and Alli into the kitchen, ignored the smartass comment from not-Dean, and plopped himself down onto a nearby chair to watch. All it had taken was two sets of soulful puppy-dog eyes (they must have learned that trick from Sam) for him to cave in and accept the cookie dough. Dean had taken care to keep his eyes fixed on the dough he was pressing shapes into and pretend he wasn't doing anything ridiculous or girly.
It had worked up until the point Austin had wandered over, eyed his work critically, and abruptly taken the rest of his cookie dough (plus his current creation) from him with a disapproving scowl. It startled an incredulous laugh from Dean (really, the sculpted tits hadn't been that bad) and he'd glanced up to find Castiel watching him with a fond look.
Dean had hightailed it out of the kitchen so fast he'd tripped over the couch and hit the floor at not-Dean's feet. not-Dean had raised his eyebrows as he stared down at Dean, dropped his stinky feet on his back, and said with a smirk, "Oh good, a foot rest. I've been meaning to get myself one of these." Needless to say, the ensuing fight afterwards had not been one of the prouder moments in Dean's life.
Waiting for cookies to finish baking was a tedious process when you're a kid (or Dean). Castiel had given his antsy family a knowing look and turned on a Christmas movie to entertain them for the duration. It really shouldn't have surprised Dean when he was woken with a start to find Castiel crouched down beside him, squeezing his shoulder.
Dean opened his mouth to say something, perhaps apologize for falling asleep, when Castiel pressed a finger to his lips and gestured for Dean to follow him into the kitchen. Dean nodded at him and stood up, using the flickering light of the TV to look around as he trailed Castiel out of the room.
not-Dean was asleep, his back against the foot of the couch and a slumbering kid curled up against each side. Someone, probably Castiel, had wrapped a blanket around the three of them and— ouch. Dean winced at the position not-Dean's neck was in, reaching up and rubbing the back of his own in mirrored sympathy.
"Dean," Castiel said as they entered the kitchen. "We need to talk." He picked up two steaming mugs from the kitchen counter and held one out towards him.
Dean took it gratefully, squinting against the bright light and ignoring the pangs from his eyes as they adjusted. "Look, if it's about the cookie tits from earlier—"
"No, this discussion does not feature misguided cookie anatomy," Castiel said. Despite the angel's serious expression, Dean saw his eyes flash briefly in amusement and relaxed a little. "I imagine there are questions you want answers to."
Dean nodded, took an absent sip from his mug, and almost choked at the overly sweet taste. "I— What— that's not coffee!" he sputtered, staring down at the deceptive coffee-like liquid.
"Hot chocolate," Castiel corrected as he reached over and dropped a handful of mini-marshmallows into Dean's mug.
"Uh, thanks... I think," Dean said, setting his hot chocolate down on the counter as he watched Castiel empty a third of the bag into his own mug. He'd never taken the angel for having a sweet tooth, but it sort of made sense. Dean made a mental note to introduce his Castiel to hot chocolate when he got back to his own time.
"So, what's wrong with the boy?" Dean asked without preamble. It had been on his mind all night. At first he'd just assumed that Austin was shy and didn't talk very often, but as time passed, he came to realize that he didn't speak at all. That alone was worrying enough. Coupled with his obvious past trauma and his morbid artwork... well, Dean was concerned.
Castiel's eyes darkened and his lips turned down at the corners. He took a large gulp from his mug and swallowed slowly before he spoke. "Alli and Austin are war orphans. We adopted Alli two years ago and Austin eleven months ago, as you already know." He hesitated for a long moment, expression conflicted. "It's the first time we've been able to celebrate Christmas together."
Dean's stomach clenched at the words. God, he didn't know if he could deal with all this. Did he really want to know? ...He did. He had to know. Silently, he urged the angel to continue as he stared into the dim room just outside the kitchen doorway, imagining the three of them sleeping peacefully.
"Austin is mute," Castiel said, his voice raw. "Physically, he has all the capabilities of speech, but his mental trauma impedes his ability to allow himself." Pause. "As far as we can discern, he witnessed the massacre of his loved ones and endured hours of torture. He has never fully recovered."
Dean's mouth fell open in horror and his stomach flipped, roiling with nausea and something else. Something dark and bitter, like bile, that tasted of a hatred and fury he hadn't felt in himself since his time in Hell. He knew that shit like this happened all the time— that evil had nothing against, sometimes even preferred, tormenting children. But how fucked up did you have to be to leave a child broken, in agony, and alive?
"Jesus Christ," Dean choked, fists clenched and nails biting into the palms of his hands. Blood trickled down his fingers as he fought to shove back the rage, the desire to rip apart the planet in his search to torch the evil son of bitch that had dared to fuck with his kids. His future kids. Whatever. "Jesus Christ," he said again.
Castiel wrapped his fingers around Dean's wrists, sliding them down and cupping his fisted hands in his palms. "Calm yourself," Castiel said, his thumbs running across the bloody wounds with a gentle pressure, healing them as he had Dean's body when he'd first rescued him from Hell.
A jolt of electricity zapped Dean and heat began to uncoil in his stomach, welling up inside of him. So close. Castiel was so close, not even a foot away. Dean could feel the heat radiating off the angel's body, threatening to consume him. He wanted to lean forward and kiss him. He wanted to run his hands all over Castiel's body and fuck him into the floor, rough, desperate, and needy. Castiel would let him do it, he knew. Dean could see it in the angel's body language, could feel it as Castiel pressed himself closer, his body leaning towards Dean's.
Dean's hands were already on Castiel's hips, pulling the angel flush against him. His head was bent down, mere inches away from Castiel lips when Dean saw it. Familiarity. Expectation. This Castiel... he wasn't Dean's Castiel— not yet. Maybe not ever. Dean's throat closed up and he wrenched himself away, heart threatening to implode and a chair screeching across the floor. The sound was deafening in the silence, but Dean couldn't find it in himself to care.
"I..." Dean said, his voice unsteady and his eyes focused on the wall. He cleared his throat a few times and attempted to act nonchalant as he fumbled around for the chair he'd bumped. "What happened to Alli?"
Out of the corner of his eye, Dean saw Castiel wrap his arms around himself, a vaguely perturbed expression on his face. "Well," he said, his voice rough and a little breathless. "Alli lost consciousness shortly after demons began attacking her town. They either took her for dead or didn't care she was still alive. When she woke, the town was decimated, Alli, the sole survivor. She recovered with little effort on our part. Her trauma was minimal in comparison, but great on its own."
There was a burning in the pit of Dean's stomach, sharp, painful, and growing ever stronger as Castiel spoke. "Before Austin, she was cheerful enough, but unable to be left alone. Alli was terrified that something catastrophic would happen. When we found Austin, bloodied and unconscious on the side of the highway, Alli's fear became courage. They were inseparable and she's been protecting him from even the slightest threat ever since."
Like me and Sam, but reversed! Dean thought somewhat hysterically. "What about... it was the Apocalypse, right? You, future me, and Sam beat Lucifer and stopped it? How'd we do it?" Dean rasped, his breath hitching as he reigned in his emotions.
Castiel faltered, the abrupt change of topic seeming to catch him off-guard. "Yes..." he said hesitantly, his face closing off after a moment of indecision. "We stopped the Apocalypse, but do not ask me to explain. The consequences aren't worth the risk of damaging two timelines."
"What! Why can't you help me?" Dean protested. It was all he could do to keep himself in control and not take out his misguided anger on the angel.
Castiel sighed, a tick in his jaw twitching as he said, "You stop the Apocalypse, Dean. That is all you need to know. Take comfort in it."
Dean sighed. Castiel's bitchface was making a reappearance (what, had the angel been taking lessons from Sam?) and Dean could tell he wasn't going to be getting any more information out of him tonight. As interesting as it was to see a more emotionally invested Castiel, Dean missed his angel. He missed his Castiel's confusion at most things human, his baffled head tilts, his... well, his everything.
As homesick as Dean was, he wasn't ready to go back just yet. He wanted to spend more time better getting to know his children. There was a chance it could be the only time with them he'd ever get.
Dean rolled over in bed and frowned, staring at the door as he remembered the awkward silence that had followed. Eventually, it had led to Castiel clearing his throat, murmuring something about putting the kids to bed, and excusing himself from the room. Dean had followed him into the living room, watching the angel wake not-Dean with blatant affection (for Castiel).
They'd exchanged a whispered conversation, some of not-Dean's remarks earning him reproachful looks and others more appraising ones. Castiel gave not-Dean a chaste kiss, effortlessly lifting Austin in his arms, settling him against his shoulder and wrapping an arm around the thin waist, heading upstairs to put the boy to bed. Not-Dean watched him with a small smirk, taking no notice of Dean as he took Alli into his arms, bridal style, and followed the angel up the steps to presumably get some sleep himself. Dean found it unlikely.
Here Dean was, two hours later, unable to turn off his brain and get some well-needed sleep, no matter how tired he was. Never again would he bitch at Sam for being up half the night due to insomnia. It sucked enough on its own without someone bitching at you about it.
Dean threw back the covers and got out of bed, frowning down at the pajama pants he was borrowing from not-Dean. They were exactly his type (for pajama pants— he preferred to sleep in the nude, but that wasn't a viable option with children around) and fit perfectly, but they weren't his (okay, so, technically they were, but not yet!). It felt creepy and wrong; Dean didn't like it.
Grabbing his shoes and jacket, Dean crept out the guestroom and down the stairs quietly, alert for any sign of movement (hey, old habits die hard). He needed to go outside, feel the cold air on his face, and just breathe it in. It was an old technique he'd learned from John a long ago. It helped him put things in perspective, make them less overwhelming and more bearable.
Dean held onto the stair's banister, using it to support himself as he tugged on his shoes, not bothering to tie the laces. He shrugged into his jacket, opening the door and slipping out onto the front porch.
The freezing wind rushed to greet him, icy chills sweeping down his back and around his chest as goosebumps prickled on his arms. Dean inhaled sharply, closing his eyes and letting his façade slip away. Everything was so different in this future. Of course, if his past experience with time travel was anything to go by, that was to be expected.
Unbidden, Dean was reminded that this future was only a possibility, not a guarantee. Even if he went back to his own time period and confessed to Castiel, there was always a chance that his feelings might no be reciprocated. Was it really worth the risk of isolating the only friend he had (family did not count)? Definitely not. His feelings for the angel were probably only a fleeting thing anyway.
"So, how's that denial coming?" not-Dean's mocking voice said from the doorway.
Dean jumped, swearing under his breath before he turned to face his future counterpart. "So how's that jealousy coming?" he retorted, and shit, why the fuck had he said that? It didn't even make sense.
Not-Dean stared at him, eyebrows raised and a smirk curling his lips. "Why would I be jealous of you?"
It was a good question, one Dean didn't have an answer to. If anything, Dean himself was almost jealous of not-Dean and the life he'd made for himself. "...I'm still sane. I don't live in Candyland."
"But you wish you did, didn't you?"
There was no way Dean could respond to that and get away with it. Not-Dean would see right through him faster that a speeding wendigo.
Now that Dean was looking at him, he noticed that not-Dean wasn't wearing shoes or a jacket. He stood there, clad in a thin pair of pajama pants and love-bites, looking as though all were right in the world. As if to spite him, the asshat didn't even get cold.
Wait a minute— love-bites? Dean just barely managed to stop himself from doing a double take and giving himself away for the pathetic lovesick fool he was. As discreetly as he could, Dean cocked his head to the side and stared at not-Dean out of the corner of his eye.
Hickies littered not-Dean's body, starting just behind his ear and scattering down his collarbone, nipples, and abs before finally disappearing past the cloth of his pajama pants. Along his hips were various series of —were those claw marks?— of different shapes and sizes. Dean's stomach twisted and his jaw clenched as he furiously fought away the irrational jealousy rising inside of him. How fucked up was it to be jealous of yourself?
"Cas is a 'wild thang' in bed," not-Dean said, laughter in his voice. Dean knew immediately that he'd been caught. He glared up at not-Dean defiantly, challenging him with his eyes and resisting the urge to punch that smug smirk off his face.
"You two obviously don't have a problem with the kids overhearing you," Dean said, emphasizing the word kids.
"Okay, enough with the bullshit cockfight," not-Dean said, losing his temper. "Just because Cas and I have a sex life, doesn't make us bad parents, you douchenozzel. Maybe when you finish sticking your head up your ass you'll realize that we've taken precautions so Alli and Austin never have to see or hear anything. Cas soundproofs the room when we fuck, the kids don't hear a thing."
Dean growled at his future counterpart, taking a threatening step closer and opening his mouth to put him in his place. Before he had a chance to say anything, however, not-Dean had invaded his personal space, pressing their bare chests up against each other and backing Dean up against the front door. "No," he snarled. "Don't say anything. Just shut your fucking mouth for once and listen to me."
Dean's mouth snapped shut with a clack and he swallowed past the lump in his throat, as he looked off to the right. He felt trapped (which immediately put him on the offensive) and unable to escape conversation. "No," not-Dean said again, roughly grabbing Dean's chin with his thumb and forefinger and jerking his head around to face him. "We're done playing this game."
Not-Dean's face was millimeter's away, his expression furious and his cheeks flushed as he scowled at Dean. It was disconcerting to see another person wearing his face, using his voice and, hey, was that how he looked when he was angry all the time? Because, wow, he was kind of sexy in an intimidating and manly sort of way. A sharp jab to the chest shook him from any narcissistic fantasies he may or may not have been fantasying about.
Not-Dean paused, waiting until he had Dean's full attention before continuing. "You will lose everything if you stand by and do nothing. How can you expect to gain anything if you don't even try? Think about it. Your greatest weakness is also your greatest strength. If you want even the slightest chance at beating the Apocalypse, you're going to need every shred of strength you can get."
Dean stared at his counterpart in muted horror, storing the advice to go over later, but unable to get past the thought, 'Oh god, I'm having a chick flick moment… with myself.'
Noticing the expression on his face and recognizing it for what it was, not-Dean shook Dean roughly and shoved him away, "Oh, shut the hell up! Is it really so shocking that I'd be more open when I have to deal with traumatized children all the time? I may not enjoy this philosophical BS, but it keeps my kids from crying." Despite not-Dean's excuse, a pink flush was taking precedence on his face.
Dean stumbled backwards, biting the inside of his lip to suppress the frenzied laughter bubbling up inside of him. What was the world coming to? Was the future really worth living if he had to become such a pussy? It was a tough call.
Throwing himself down on the porch, Dean seated himself on the top step and let his feet hang down onto the snow-blanketed pavement. There was an awkward silence and a ruffling of clothes before not-Dean heaved a frustrated sigh and sat down next to him. "Have you figured out who sent you here yet? I thought it was fairly obvious."
"You knew? You knew and you didn't bother to say anything?" Dean said, gaping at not-Dean like he had at that girl from the truckstop who turned out to be a dude, that one time.
Not-Dean looked at him like he was the stupid one. "Of course I know. Been there, done that. This is the future, remember?"
Oh, well… it's hard to argue when it was put like that. Still. "Why don't any of them know, then?" Dean asked, referring to Sam, Bobby and Castiel.
"Cas knows, I told him. We never actually told Sam or Bobby, though— not even that you're here right now. This isn't the first time an alternate me has just shown up before, though, so they're kind of used to it. Anyhow, why do you think the cell phone number you called from is still active?" not-Dean said.
Jackpot. It was something that had never even occurred to Dean, but now that it was pointed out, he realized that it should have. He swallowed down the ugly feeling of self-disappointment and sighed. "Who sent me here and why? How do I get home?"
Not-Dean cracked a knowing smile at him and gave Dean a few manly slaps on the back. "Cheer up, buttercup. For once, there aren't any negative consequences involved. Unless you make the wrong choice."
When Dean's only response was a blank stare, not-Dean gave him sheepish look and coughed. "Okay, look. It's like the Christmas Carol, only you're not visited by anyone, ghost or otherwise." Pause. "Which is weird because you'd think Gabriel would show up to gloat. Uh, anyway, you've been sent into the future to see what it could be like if you make the right choice. And— okay, you know what? Fuck it. It's nothing like the Christmas Carol."
"The Trickster! Yeah, that fits perfectly: the bizarro alternate timeline, being trapped in the future," Dean exclaimed, smacking his hands down onto his thighs. "Wait, shit. No, that doesn't fit. The Trickster likes to fuck with people. He isn't some celestial matchmaker."
"You're forgetting Gabriel isn't actually a Trickster. Occasionally he does… well, I wouldn't call them good things, but they sometimes end up helping. Don't worry about it, you'll only end up here for 24 hours," not-Dean said with a smirk that renewed Dean's desire to punch him in the face. He wondered if it happened to everyone or if it was just him. It would certainly explain a lot.
Dean chuckled weakly and stared out at the glittering white snow, shivering as the wind picked up. Not-Dean scooted closer, their thighs bumping, and casually wrapped an arm around his shoulder. Jesus Christ, he was like a fucking furnace! No wonder the bastard had been able to get away with wearing so little.
"Dean," Castiel admonished from behind them. Both Deans turned around simultaneously to look at him. He stood just inside the doorway, his hair mussed and his face tired. An over-sized black tee-shirt practically swallowed him whole. The neckline was bunched up on one side, revealing a bare shoulder, and his knee-length red cotton boxers were just barely peeking out from beneath the shirt. "A threesome is not what this Dean requires."
Not-Dean threw back his head and laughed while Dean choked on his own spit and stared at both them wide-eyed and speechless. "Hah, don't you remember how much fun you had last time?" not-Dean teased. He absently patted Dean's thigh a few times before getting to his feet and walking over to Castiel, wrapping an arm around his waist. "You look like you're about to tip over, Cas. Let's get you back to bed."
"I am quite tired," Castiel admitted. He was leaning against not-Dean, but it was Dean he looked at, his eyes half-closed and his voiced muffled. "Goodnight."
Dean, who was still baffled by what had happened, but had gone weak around the knees at the sight of a sleepy Castiel, nodded both of them. "Night."
Dean was jolted from REM sleep the next morning by a high-pitched squeal and a tiny force of nature throwing herself onto his gut. "Oof!" Adrenaline flooded his body, panic racing through his veins, and for a moment all he could hear was the sound of his own heartbeat. There was another shift at the end of the bed, someone gingerly settling themselves down on the edge. It was enough to knock sense back into him. Dean just barely managed to restrain his instinctive urge to lash out and ask questions later.
"—Alli!" Dean said, coughing as he sat up and tried to calm his racing heartbeat. "Don't ever do that again, you hear me? I could have kil— hurt you!" Thank god he hadn't.
Alli's smiling face hovered into view, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, as the sun, just barely peeking over the horizon, outlined her upper body with a light glow. Her sleep-muzzled hair was wild, sticking up at odd angles and defying gravity. "Aww, don't be so dramatic. It's Christmas! Santa came and he brought presents!" she said, sing-song, pressing hands to her mouth to smother giggles.
Just beyond her, Dean could see Austin sitting on the corner of the bed, skinny legs crossed at knobby knees. He was staring at Dean, his face solemn, but there was a content look about his face that lead Dean to believe that he was happy.
"Ah, I see. Well, Merry Christmas, Alli. Austin," Dean said, conceding her point with awkwardness. Christmas was supposed to be one of the happiest times of the year for kids. What right did he have to ruin that? Besides, what was the likelihood that he'd be able stay long enough for it to happen again? According to not-Dean, slim to none. "Where's Cas and... uh... ?"
Alli sighed dramatically and rolled her eyes. "Austin and I wanna open presents, but they're still in the bed." She paused, biting her lip with indecision before she leaned forward conspiratorially and said in a whisper, "They closed the door." Like that was supposed to mean something. Kids were weird.
"Ohh, scary, a closed door!" Dean said sarcastically. He threw back the covers and stood up, ignoring Alli's surprised exclamation and protests as he left the room without a backward glance. If he had to be awake this early in the morning, then so did his counterpart and Castiel. These weren't even his kids. Yet. It was too early to deal with this shit.
Dean wrapped his fingers around the doorknob, the sound of two pairs of small feet scurrying after him as he turned the handle and pushed the door open. "Your children are about to—" Dean broke off mid-sentence at the sight before him.
Staring was the only feasible option at that sight that greeted Dean on the other side of the door. Castiel had not-Dean bound to the bed beneath him, arms tied up over his head by a pair of fuzzy handcuffs, and— had he ever heard himself moan like that?
Dean knew he could be a bit, er… controlling when it came to sex, but the greedy, demanding, moans of, "Oh, fuck. Cas, stop teasing and just fuck me already! Goddammit, fuck me now!" were going a bit far. The way not-Dean was practically writhing under Castiel's hands and his mouth... it was beyond his realm of experience.
Speaking of experience, how the hell had Dean spent even half a second looking at his counterpart when Castiel was in his naked, passionate, dominant glory? Holy fuck. Dean was transfixed, the sight of all that smooth, flawless skin and those rippling muscles… Castiel leaned down, pressing his lips to not-Dean's to muffle his sounds in a kiss as demanding and desperate as not-Dean's moans.
Once not-Dean had been reduced passed the point of protest, Castiel pulled away, his lips lingering for just a moment to murmur, "Shut up, Dean." The angel's strong hands flipped not-Dean onto his knees, bracing his hands against the headboard as he pressed in close against him.
Castiel looked over at Dean then, slowly and without care that he was being watched. It looked almost as though he couldn't process the information, like his brain was already too overloaded on it's currently stimulus to actively do more than react. With his eyes locked on Dean's, Castiel sunk his teeth into not-Dean's shoulder, his deep growl mingling with not-Dean's low moan as they walked the line of pleasure and pain together, not-Dean's back arched.
And holy shit, he should not be watching this!
Dean swallowed thickly, gulping down oxygen and tearing his eyes away from the couple to gape at wall, his face flushed and tingling. Despite his shock, Dean was as hard as rock and more embarrassed that he'd ever been in his life. "I, uh... sorry!" he blurted out, heart racing as he turned around and slammed the door shut. "What the fuck!"
"I told you," Ali said from behind him, her voice exaggerated and slow, like Dean was the retarded child who just. didn't. get it. "The door is closed. No one is allowed to go in there if the door is shut unless there's an emergency." It sounded like she was reciting it word for word from memory. "I guess it's okay this time, though, since you didn't know." Alli gave him a stern once-over before she took his hand in her small one and said with a smile, "Come on, let's go have a tea party."
Dean was too stunned to do anything but follow the two of them dumbly.