AN: im jus ritin dis now becuz i gut a butload o insparashun (So your butt's full of inspiration?)
den i went 2 hagwats. (The scientific experiment where they use old people for electricity!) dena nigga came out a no were an says "hey im harry potter". (HARRY IMPOSTER!) i turned an said "u aint harry potter!11 i saw him in da movis!"
"i no but fo da audeance dey got a wite boi 2 play mi" (Since when was Harry, who is white according to the books, movies, and J.K. Rowling, black?)
"wat i said.
"u herd mi"
"dem rassist ppl!"
i entred da big ol place were everabodi eatz (The Great Hall?…) an dey put da wiserd hat on mi hed and it says "yo in ravenclaw" (Okay….)
"hey daz were i stay" sed harry potter. (Harry's in Gryffindor, dipshit.) den we both went to da room togedder. (The commen rooms?…) wen we were dere we saw the dumbldoor. (Dumbledoor's not a position, he's a person!) an he turnt 2 mi an sez "welcum 2 skool distrect 7 (wateva dat means).(Hogwarts isn't in a school district.) im ur dumbledoor." (Again, Dumbledoor's not a position, he's a person!)
hairy turnd t mi an seys "dis is da dumbledoor of da entire skool." (I'VE REPEATED IT TWICE: Dumbledoor's not a position, he's a person!)
"hi mistr duumbledoor" (It's Professor Dumbledoor. I bet he's rolling in his grave right about now.)
"yo can call mi alvin". (And Snape's Simon, while Flitwick is Theodore!)
"ok alvin"
"goodbi" he sed an raned out on hiz broomstik.
"im sleepi" sed hairy potter
"butt its not even 12 o clock yet" i sed
"i no but tomorow we hav skool an ill sho u all de pretti girlz an how to play bromstiks" (It's QUIDDITCH. And don't 11 year olds think girls have cooties?)
"sho" i sed "do u lik 50 cent?" (50 Cent's not in the magical world, dipshit.)
"do u lik soulja boi?" sed harry
we were best frends. (That took about 2 seconds.)