A/N: I only got about 2 reviews for this story actually answering my question about how this story should go. They all said Hidan x OC (Hidan lemon), so I think it's just gonna be like that. Damn, who knew Hidan was so freaking popular? Mmm... Hidan =P
Also, I've decided to make everything in third person. So it's gonna be "Kitade did this, Kitade did that..."
Plus, somewhere in the story there is going to be a notice about Kitade's inner-self. She has a inner-self who thinks by 'Blah blah blah...' instead of just Just the crap up!. So you'll know if her inner-self is thinking because it's gonna be in an apostrophe. It's not retarded, to have an inner-self (I actually don't know, maybe); think of it as Sakura Haruno's bipolar inner bitch.
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Kitade was in a messy bed with the covers all over the place, half of it covering her body and some of it sloping down to the floor. She woke up, seeing that she was naked in what's-his-face's-name's bed. Kitade pulled up some of the blankets to cover up her naked form. "Damn that Hidan..." she muttered. Luckily, her cloak and other undergarments were on the floor and she put those on. They smelled like sex from yesterday. Crinkling her nose to the smell, she thought, Why couldn't I have a hang-over from over-sexing or something? Then I wouldn't have to remember what happened yesterday...
Whilst opening the door, a thought sprang into her mind. He came into me. So... I might be pregno! Kitade's body cringed at that thought. She was never really a motherly woman, as you could probably see from her dirty mouth and tough attitude. She thought babies and children cried, whined, and were much too annoying. If I am I'm going to fucking kill him... For starters, she hadn't start throwing up or anything, but that crap usually happened until 2-4 weeks into the pregnancy. Damn, whatever. I guess I'll just pray to some unknown deity.
Shrugging, she walked down the halls, unsure where to go. If there was a meeting, Pein would be sure to alert them all using telepathy or something. Where to go or do now? Go to huge fucking Akatsuki living room, go train... She didn't know what to do. How the hell did the other Akatsuki's put up with the boredness when they weren't on missions??? I guess I can go and bitch to the stupid Jashinist what a dumbass he was for releasing in me. Stupid retard; coulda' got me pregnant!
Kitade was in Hidan's bed in Hidan's room, but she knew that if he wasn't in his room he would be out screwing some girl, or on a mission, or... training, possibly. Hidan could be out anywhere raping some innocent girl or stripper, so she threw that thought aside. On a mission? Quite likely since Pein sent Kakuzu & Hidan on bounty missions since Akatsuki really needed the money. Training? Why would Hidan be training, I mean, he already had a sexy muscular body and his skills were already pretty damn good. So... on a mission. Kitade concluded.
But, she was wrong because right then she was so lost in her logical thinking she ran into something really hard. Oh god, please don't tell me I ran into a fucking wall because I didn't make a damn turn at a fucking corner. Kitade rubbed her forehead. "Ow..." Her butt hurt from the impact with the ground.
"'Sup, bitch." Kitade automatically recognized that voice and shot her face upwards to look at a smirking, silver-haired handsome man. "How's it been going?"
Glaring, Kitade was ready to give Hidan the full brunt of her attack. "Argh... Hidan you bastard!" hissed Kitade, glaring at hidan with darkened green eyes.
Hidan chuckled, amused. "Mad? Watch where the fuck you're going, then."
"Not that!" Kitade angrily corrected. "Yesterday! You stupid motherfucking shit! You came inside of me! I could've got pregnant, genius!" Kitade got up and crossed her arms in a defiant look. "It's only been a day, so it's practically impossible to tell if I'm pregnant. I deserve 2 apologizes, if you please."
Hidan looked at Kitade like she was mental. "What the fuck? That's what you're so goddamn mad about? That's really retarded shit... stop getting so damn worked-up 'bout it." Hidan smirked, "I'll give you 2 apologizes, damn right. Come to my room right now for your first one and then at midnight for your second one." He paused, looking deeper into Kitade's angry eyes. "Hey, you get both apologies in ONE day! Cheer up." He then chucked the under of her chin.
Kitade slapped his hand away, even though she was late to do so. "Ugh, that's gross! I meant a real damn apology! Having intercourse isn't just going to make it up -- that's what I'm so mad about! The sex started it all, you're not going to fix it by giving it to me again!" She furiously shook her head back and forth. "You're so immature, GOD!" Then she stared at him hard while he only lazily looked back with lust-filled icy pink eyes. After a moment, she walked away, saying all the while, "IF I'm fucking PREGNANT you ARE going to take RESPONSIBILITY. Better start praying to your oh-so precious Jashin-sama, ass!"
Hidan only looked at her walking form. "Sure, bitch..." he responded back. Like he was honestly even listening to what Kitade had to say. He wasn't. He was actually paying attention to Kitade's butt swaying back and forth angrily, like she and her butt were mentally one. I am a sick bastard... Hidan thought, amused. Not caring if Kitade was carrying his small seed in her womb or not, Hidan just walked to whatever the hell is destination was.
Kitade honestly didn't know where she was going and what she was going to do, for that matter. She just figured it'd look really cool and serious if she dissed him off and then walked away angrily saying some really bold words, warning him again. She wanted to go to her room, but she didn't really 'have' one. For now, she shared a room with Tobi... who shared a room with Deidara. How annoying. The one thing she needed least at the moment was an annoying orange-masked talkative man stalking her ass and watching her every movement. Kitade was not in the mood.
So, she decided to go outside of the Akatsuki base and take a walk. She loved the wilderness and being outside, so just admiring nature and smelling the fresh crisp air on a walk would be the best thing she had in mind that could relax her nerves and let her blood stop boiling. Removing the large boulder that blocked entrance to the hide-out, she walked out and then placed it back in its spot.
Soon enough, like she predicted, she found herself to be less angry and violent than before. Kitade wanted to go back but there was a chance that she'd run into the stupid Jashin-loving-and-worshipping man and find herself almost going apeshit at the sight of him. However... deep inside of Kitade, if she was pregnant and Hidan did deny the child, she would be sad and angry. Kitade had feelings for Hidan and Hidan didn't know it. Sure, they did the humping and crap, but Hidan only thought of that as 'lust' since it was in both of their interests. Just to feel good and get laid, basically. But Kitade actually had... what you'd call 'love' for him. Of course, Hidan didn't feel that sort of shit, even though he could if he tried hard enough. He was a cruel-hearted, very horny and potty-mouthed Akatsuki member who was pretty much heartless.
Doesn't he know that I have feelings for him...? Kitade sighed, letting her emotions take control of her. She started to feel almost worthless. If only he'd read between the lines. Dumbass, he'd probably literally get a book and look between the damn lines. Kitade sadly laughed to herself. Goodness, don't the other Akatsuki men get the urge for love or settling down one day? They aren't really heartless. They're just stupid guys who ignore their feelings... at least I'm honest to myself. She sat on a dry log, just admiring nature.
It started to rain, to her dismay, and Kitade had to go inside unless she wanted to get a malady of some sort. Walking back into the base she tried to avoid running into any of the members, especially Hidan. Like she wanted to see his smug face. She failed miserably as Tobi came into view in the long corridor.
"Ugh, damn it." Kitade thought. If I teleport quickly enough maybe he won't notice me. Too late, either way.
Tobi was bounding down the hall at full speed once he saw Kitade's small form. That's how far they were from each other, and exactly how long the hall was. "KIIIIITAAADEEE-CHAN!"
"T-Tobi! Stop! G-Good boy! Stop it!" Kitade yelled, raising her hands in defense. Who knew what Tobi was going to do? He was this really weird person with ADD, ADHD, OCD and possibly schizophrenia. She was late, too, at this and Tobi jumped on her, pinning her to the ground. "DAMN! Tobi, I told you to stop! What the fuck?!" she yelled.
"Tobi is a good boy!" he happily said through a mysterious orange mask. "Tobi is sorry, but girls should not say bad words like Hidan-san!..."
Kitade didn't respond orally, but responded physically. She raised her leg and kicked Tobi off. Getting up, Kitade dusted her Akatsuki cloak. Boy did she need to wash her clothe and take a shower or something.
"... I like pancakes." Tobi said.
Kitade stared at him with a look that clearly said 'Are you retarded?' before returning to dusting all the debris of her cloak. "I don't care, Tobi. I'm not going to make you pancakes. Leave me alone." Then she started to walk past him.
"No! Wait, Kitade-chan! Tobi has something to tell you, that is why Tobi tackled you!" Tobi said, putting his hands up to prevent her from leaving. "Don't teleport or anything. Okay?"
Kitade tapped her feet impatiently and said, "Sure, sure. Fine. I won't leave." She always tried not to swear but it became such a big habit and Tobi was pissing her off so badly right now it was hell. "Hurry up... dang."
"Pinky promise!" Tobi insisted, putting out his left pinky.
"NO! TOBI! HURRY UP!" Kitade yelled. "I'm not going to do a retarded pinky promise."
Tobi comically put up his hands on top of his head as a protective act to joke around. "Haha. Fine. Hidan told Kakuzu to tell you what he told Kakuzu, but then Kakuzu told Hidan that he was not going to bleeping do it and to tell someone else to be his little female-dog for him and Hidan went to tell me to tell you what he was going to tell Kakuzu to tell you, so I am here to tell you what Hidan told me to say to you," he said, all out of breath.
"And that friggin' is what?" I said, swear words about to spill at any moment.
"Hidan wants to say: 'You didn't come to my bleeping room that bleeping time, bleeper. Come to my room at midnight. - Hidan.'" Tobi recited. "That's all he wanted to say to you! I don't know what rape is, so don't ask me!" Kitade could tell Tobi was smiling under that stupid mask. How she wished she could rip it off and see what kind of person was underneath it all.
"That all?" Kitade said, kind of glad that Tobi actually managed to spit it out before she spit out her profanities.
"Tobi supposes." He put a hand on his chin and cocked his head to the side. "But do you have anything to say to Hidan? Tobi will tell him."
"Hmm..." Kitade thought for a split-second before making her decision. "Yep. Tell him that I'm not going to his freaking room at midnight; I don't want to and he can't make me. Got it all? I'm not going to go to his room because I don't want to and he can't make me."
"Tobi got it!" he said. "Now, Tobi will go and deliver message," Tobi took his left hand and put it up to his forehead.
"Ya know, Tobi, I think it's supposed to be the right hand, dummy." Kitade pointed out.
"Oh!" he switched hands. "Thank you! Tobi will be going now!" Then he teleported and disappeared.
"Whatever," Kitade said, not caring.
Stupid Hidan. Like he can tell me what to do. I already told that stupid dick I wouldn't be going to his room to have sex -- doesn't that dumbass understand!? THE SEX STARTED THIS SHIT! Kitade was having a furious debate in her head with her inner-self. '
'Do you want to go to Hidan's room today at midnight?'
I don't know... I mean, no. Of course not! I don't want to see that stupid retard!
'Well, are you sure? He's handsome, has the hottest body and you'd do anything to have the feeling of his cock inside of you. You and I both now it, Kitade...'
Shut up! You're my inner-self so you're supposed to be helping me make a smart decision, dumb bitch!
'Dumb bitch!? Fuck you, you fat pregnant whore! Not my fault your real self is an actual pervert! Your inner-self is a pervert! Choke on that!!!' cackled her inner.
I'm not pregnant, we don't know! Argh -- I don't have time to argue with you, Kitade! I'm not going to go to his room, and that's final! Kitade decided.
'Oh? Is that how you're going to be? Are you sure that's what you honestly want to do? I thought you said you were honest with your body unlike most of the men here, dummy! You're going to regret this!' Kitade's inner-self yelled and then shut up.
Kitade was happy that her real self finally went and shut the fuck up. She couldn't make any right decisions when there were distractions, especially a stupid screaming girl inside your brain that you couldn't shut up. "What am I going to do...? And what the hell did she mean by 'You're going to regret this?'" she muttered to herself, confused. "Whatever, it doesn't matter. She's always talking shit, anyway. I guess I'll go to sleep or something. It's about 7 o'clock and I'm fucking tired!" Kitade walked to Tobi & Deidara's room and fell asleep on the fluffy futon that was her 'bed.'
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I know, shitty chapter, right? It was so out of order and fucking random. I actually really didn't plan any of this out. One second I was like, That'd be cool if she got pregnant. Then, That'd be also pretty awesome if Hidan was getting horny. I don't know... I just get all these fucked up ideas and try to stir them up so they work together in a freaking fanfic. I'm surprised these don't actually come out as shit xD
Next chapter hopefully will have a lemon. Mmhm, you pervs know you like that! I do like lemons too... *nose bleed* so don't feel embarrassed! :-P Nyu!
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