Disclaimers: Gravitation is not mine, I only wish that it was. I'm also
broke. All you'd get is my flute if you tried, and I doubt any of you want
it. It hardly works sometimes and it has my spit in it...
Warnings: Umm...shounen ai, stupidity on authoress's part, TONS of typos here and there (did that make ANY sense?) because I suck at editing...
Pairings: Shuichi and Yuki
Notes:
/thoughts/
~~~~~
flashback
~~~~~
~*The Summer Snow Child*~
Yukiko only realized how incredibly SMALL she was after already running into the building. Without her daddy next to her she had no way to get through the crowds that were pushing their way past her, probably not even realizing she was there. However, she was determined not to give up, even if she died trying. That thought made tears well up in her eyes. She didn't want to die and make her daddy even more unhappy. Swerving her way in and out of the crowd as best she could, which was pretty well since she was so small, she stopped in the middle of the airport and tried to think of possible places Shuichi could have run off to.
"Come on Yukiko. It's just like a little game of hide-and-seek. All you have to do now is find him." However, despite that thought being meant to comfort her she instead ended up pouting. "I always gave up in hide-and- seek!" she scolded herself loudly, once again swirving around the legs that were walking towards her and making her way deeper into the airport.
However, the sounds of someone crying drew her attention away from her task. Sure, she wanted to find Shuichi and make her dad happy, but making someone else happy shouldn't take so long. At least, not as long as they didn't want her to find someone else. She was already lost enough. "Maybe they can help me find Shuichi!" she cheered hapily, running as fast as she could through the crowd, startling the people who noticed her.
She blinked as she stepped near the little area where Shuichi was leaning against the wall, face burried in his knees. People were avoiding the area around Shuichi and she had to wonder if she wasn't supposed to cross the line of people. She stepped into the little secluded area regardless of what the answer was and marched over to Shuichi. He was the one who'd been crying, and Yukiko had the feeling that was her fault too. Dropping to her knees in front of him she pressed her forehead to the top of his head.
"Sowy," she muttered silently and Shuichi looked up immediately. She fell back and screamed in surprise, blinking up at him from where she had landed on her butt. "Why a' you sad, Shuichi? Did I do something w'ong?"
"Yukiko...what are you doing here? Yuki and your mother are probably looking for you," he stated harshly, turning his head away from her and whiping his tears on his sleeve. It was pretty sad when you're a good four to seven times older than the person in front of you and YOU'RE the only one crying.
"I don't have a motha," she answered easily and Shuichi turned to face her, eyes filled with shock. "I know I had one once, but that was befoa I had a daddy. I only 'member a little about he'a." Shuichi's turned away again, ashamed. So he'd just said something stupid again, and to a little kid. "Come on home with us, please?" she pleaded, sitting up and wrapping tiny arms around his neck to hug him gently.
"I don't think Yuki would want me to," he stated rejectedly, moving a bit to sit crosslegged. Yukiko frowned a bit before crawling into his lap.
"Why not?" she asked, letting go of him and simply staring up at him from her position in her lap.
"I don't think Yuki likes me anymore. I'd probably be an inconvienience to him, especially since your mom isn't around for him now." Yukiko's frown deepened even as she continued to stare up at him with a confused look on her face.
"Why? Did you and Daddy get into a fight o'a something?" Shuichi blinked a couple times before he remembered the fight he'd had with Yuki before he'd left. Maybe that was why Yuki had left him. "What happened?" she asked, noticing the change on Shuichi's face after she'd said that. This was starting to work out like one of those television shows she watched after all. The people who ran away from each other ALWAYS got into a fight first.
Shuichi hugged Yukiko tightly as he started crying again. He didn't know why but he found some comfort in her, maybe because she was a small part of Yuki now. However, he knew that thought he should have felt bad around her for that same fact.
It has been the day before he had to leave for America that he and Yuki had gotten into their little fight. Well, it had started out as a little fight anyway. It had managed to turn into something bigger after a while.
~~~~~
"Yuki PLEASE! I have to leave tomorrow, don't you care at all?! I'm not going to be able to see you for YEARS!" the hurt look that flashed across Yuki's face went completely unnoticed by Shuichi as he followed him around the house, begging him. He'd been begging him since that morning.
"You can't just blow off things like this, Shuichi," he stated calmly as he sat down, turning on his laptop.
"You have before and you know it! I know it! Why can't you now!?" to tell the truth Yuki had made the interveiw that day for a reason. Shuichi was right, he had blown off things like that before, but he WOULDN'T blow this one off. There was no way. He couldn't go and see Shuichi off, the thought of Shuichi leaving was bad enough. Watchin the singer leave would hurt even more. However, Shuichi seem completely unaware of how much the idea hurt him, continuing to plead with him to go.
"I can't Shuichi. You don't understand." Shuichi clenched his fist from where he was standing behind him, feeling his fingernails dig into his skin. Tears formed in the corner of his eyes as Yuki continued to ignore him, continuing on his novel instead. "I promise I'll pick you up when you come back, but I have things to do tomorrow. Try to understand. " /Please/ he added in his mind. He knew that Shuichi wouldn't ever really understand, Shuichi would see him off into hell without a second thought. However, Shuichi meant too much to Yuki to be able to do that. He was cool and collected at all times, while Shuichi was not. While Shuichi could freely cry and wish him good-bye Yuki couldn't force himself to do so, he had spent too long in his soliatry life. Not to mention that his pride wouldn't let him do it.
"Don't think that I don't understand! I'm not stupid!" Shuichi screamed, too upset to think things through completely. He should have known better than to scream at Yuki. However, he was hurt, REALLY hurt, and Yuki didn't give a damn. It was about time he did.
Yuki turned his chair around to face him, looking more than unpleased with him. Shuichi gasped and unclenched his hands, loosing what reslove he'd had before. The silence stretched as Yuki continued to glar at Shuichi, his own frightened eyes locked with his.
"I'm not," Shuichi finally restated, breaking the silence effectively.
"I never said you were. But you are stubborn, unreasonable, and more than a little spoiled," Yuki countered easily and Shuichi's eyes widened visibly.
"S-spoiled?" he repeated, clenching his hands again. Out of all the things he'd been called in his life spoiled had never been one of them. Ever.
"Yes, spoiled. You expect me to do everything for you. To throw away everything I worked so hard to build for you. You want me to be what YOU want me to be. And when I won't do it, you cry. And then you expect me to comfort you, and Ialways do. I spoil you, and you've gotten too used to it." Spoiled. He really was spoiled, wasn't he? Yuki was right, he spent so much time focusing on what he wanted. Always. It had always been like that. However, he wasn't about to give into that so easily.
"What about you?! You treat me like crap and I put up with it! No matter what you do I stay here and put up with it! Who said I WANTED you to pick me up when I got back! What I leave for America and find a really pretty girl who wants to stay with me forever and I never COME back?! I listen to EVERYTHING you tell me! EVERYTHING! I'm sick of following your every order! I'm not spoiled, you are! You know I'll do what you want me to do and you take advantage of it! I'm always doing things for you!" Yuki's expression didn't change, which only made Shuichi cry harder, falling to his knees and sobbing. "Why do you hate me?! What did I do wrong?!" Before Yuki could answer he stood up and ran out of the room, grabbing his already packed things and running out of the apartment as fast as he could. He would just have to stay with Hiro that night. Hiro said he'd see him off so they'd both be going to the same place anyway. Hiro'd probably be glad to see him one last night before he left.
Yuki got up and closed the door to his apartment, leaning back against it. "You didn't do anything wrong. That's why I love you. That's why I can't see you off tomorrow. One day you'll have to understand."
~~~~~
Yukiko leaned her head against Shuichi's shoulder as he continued to hold her and cry. It was kind of comforting, in a strange sense. She felt safe when she was with her daddy, but with Shuichi she just felt...needed she guessed. It was a strange feeling for someone her age, to be really needed. She knew that her daddy needed her, but her daddy had never gone to her for comfort. Her presence was enough for him, while Shuichi actually needed something from her.
She giggled a bit as Shuichi's hair brushed against her cheek and neck (her neck was sort of ticklish) and clung to Shuichi's shirt tighter. "You'a hai'a is soft, Shuichi. Just like daddy said," she mummbled, shutting her eyes as Shuichi's sobbing slowed considerably. Shuichi felt nice, safe like her daddy yet kinda cudely like a stuffed animal. It was a weird mix, to say the least. Curling a strand of Shuichi's hair around one finger she fell asleep. Other hand still clinging loosely to his shirt.
Shuichi sighed as he felt Yukiko fall asleep, picking her up off his lap gently and leaning back against the wall, supporting her as she slept so she didn't wake up. For the first time Shuichi actually bothered to take a good look at her. She was kind of tiny, but not really, with short brown hair and large gold eyes he'd noticed before. He wondered if Yuki looked anything like her when he was her age...whatever that was. She did remind him an aweful lot of Yuki. Smart and sweet and beautiful. Shuichi was willing to bet her mother had possesed those traits as well.
He jumped as the crowd in front of him moved, tightening his hold on Yukiko somewhat, making her move a little in her sleep. He blinked a couple times as he caught sight of Yuki stading in front of him. Well, he had been standing, know he was kneeling down in front of him and Yukiko. Shuichi blinked a couple times before removing Yukiko's finger from his hair and handing her back to Yuki. However, instead of picking her up he merely leaned over and kissed her cheek, pressing her back against Shuichi's chest.
"Idiots. Both of you," he stated as Shuichi stared at him, confused. "So, are you coming back home or should I wake her up and let her say goodbye?" Yuki asked, a confusing look on his face. Shuichi had the horrible feeling that Yuki'd do whatever he told him to do. He looked down at the sleeping child in his arms and felt the tears well up again. She was sweet, she was beautiful, she was everything he'd have wanted from a child, she...wasn't his. Wouldn't ever be his. She was Yuki's, and whatever memory of a woman Yuki continued to hold. He couldn't continue to dream that he could stay with her in a perfect exsistence, things didn't work that way.
"Do you want me to come back? I figured...after all the things I said...that you wouldn't show up. That you wouldn't want me to come back," Shuichi explained rejectedly, still staring at Yukiko.
"Idiot, of course I want you to come back. Hell, she wanted you to come back and she'd never met you. We were both being spoiled that day. Come home and I promise I'll explain things to you," Yuki offered and Shuichi nodded, using the wall to help him stand up with the added weight of Yukiko in his arms. As they started walking towards the exit Shuichi finally voiced what had been bugging him since he'd seen Yuki again.
"Did...did you love her?" Shuichi asked, stopping. Yuki stopped as well and turned around. Thankfully the crowd was thining as the minutes passed by.
"I cared for her, yes, but I never loved her," Yuki answered easily, hands burried in her pockets.
"So it's true then. You really did...leave me. If it would have been an accident, I wouldn't have minded so much, but..." Shuichi spoke more to himself than Yuki, staring down at the ground. "I'm sorry, but I just can't do this Yuki. I can't go home and be around you both, it hurts too much. To know that you left me and had a child. I just...I can't." Yuki sighed and walked forward, resting his hands on Shuichi's shoulders and hoping Shuichi would understand the simple sentence he offered as comfort.
~*~*~*~*~
AND YOU'LL NEVER KNOW WHAT IT IS UNTIL NEXT CHAPTER!!! BUHAHAHAHAHA! Although I doubt any of you really care. Sorry this took so long to get out but my mind's constantly straying to my other ficcies (I NEED to finish those as soon as I finish this one. Maybe then I'll continue with this but right now it's a break from those). Hahaha! Everything will be explained in the next chapter! Until then...
BYEBYE!!!
P.S.--If anyone was wondering about the title of this fic I'll have it explained next chapter.
Warnings: Umm...shounen ai, stupidity on authoress's part, TONS of typos here and there (did that make ANY sense?) because I suck at editing...
Pairings: Shuichi and Yuki
Notes:
/thoughts/
~~~~~
flashback
~~~~~
~*The Summer Snow Child*~
Yukiko only realized how incredibly SMALL she was after already running into the building. Without her daddy next to her she had no way to get through the crowds that were pushing their way past her, probably not even realizing she was there. However, she was determined not to give up, even if she died trying. That thought made tears well up in her eyes. She didn't want to die and make her daddy even more unhappy. Swerving her way in and out of the crowd as best she could, which was pretty well since she was so small, she stopped in the middle of the airport and tried to think of possible places Shuichi could have run off to.
"Come on Yukiko. It's just like a little game of hide-and-seek. All you have to do now is find him." However, despite that thought being meant to comfort her she instead ended up pouting. "I always gave up in hide-and- seek!" she scolded herself loudly, once again swirving around the legs that were walking towards her and making her way deeper into the airport.
However, the sounds of someone crying drew her attention away from her task. Sure, she wanted to find Shuichi and make her dad happy, but making someone else happy shouldn't take so long. At least, not as long as they didn't want her to find someone else. She was already lost enough. "Maybe they can help me find Shuichi!" she cheered hapily, running as fast as she could through the crowd, startling the people who noticed her.
She blinked as she stepped near the little area where Shuichi was leaning against the wall, face burried in his knees. People were avoiding the area around Shuichi and she had to wonder if she wasn't supposed to cross the line of people. She stepped into the little secluded area regardless of what the answer was and marched over to Shuichi. He was the one who'd been crying, and Yukiko had the feeling that was her fault too. Dropping to her knees in front of him she pressed her forehead to the top of his head.
"Sowy," she muttered silently and Shuichi looked up immediately. She fell back and screamed in surprise, blinking up at him from where she had landed on her butt. "Why a' you sad, Shuichi? Did I do something w'ong?"
"Yukiko...what are you doing here? Yuki and your mother are probably looking for you," he stated harshly, turning his head away from her and whiping his tears on his sleeve. It was pretty sad when you're a good four to seven times older than the person in front of you and YOU'RE the only one crying.
"I don't have a motha," she answered easily and Shuichi turned to face her, eyes filled with shock. "I know I had one once, but that was befoa I had a daddy. I only 'member a little about he'a." Shuichi's turned away again, ashamed. So he'd just said something stupid again, and to a little kid. "Come on home with us, please?" she pleaded, sitting up and wrapping tiny arms around his neck to hug him gently.
"I don't think Yuki would want me to," he stated rejectedly, moving a bit to sit crosslegged. Yukiko frowned a bit before crawling into his lap.
"Why not?" she asked, letting go of him and simply staring up at him from her position in her lap.
"I don't think Yuki likes me anymore. I'd probably be an inconvienience to him, especially since your mom isn't around for him now." Yukiko's frown deepened even as she continued to stare up at him with a confused look on her face.
"Why? Did you and Daddy get into a fight o'a something?" Shuichi blinked a couple times before he remembered the fight he'd had with Yuki before he'd left. Maybe that was why Yuki had left him. "What happened?" she asked, noticing the change on Shuichi's face after she'd said that. This was starting to work out like one of those television shows she watched after all. The people who ran away from each other ALWAYS got into a fight first.
Shuichi hugged Yukiko tightly as he started crying again. He didn't know why but he found some comfort in her, maybe because she was a small part of Yuki now. However, he knew that thought he should have felt bad around her for that same fact.
It has been the day before he had to leave for America that he and Yuki had gotten into their little fight. Well, it had started out as a little fight anyway. It had managed to turn into something bigger after a while.
~~~~~
"Yuki PLEASE! I have to leave tomorrow, don't you care at all?! I'm not going to be able to see you for YEARS!" the hurt look that flashed across Yuki's face went completely unnoticed by Shuichi as he followed him around the house, begging him. He'd been begging him since that morning.
"You can't just blow off things like this, Shuichi," he stated calmly as he sat down, turning on his laptop.
"You have before and you know it! I know it! Why can't you now!?" to tell the truth Yuki had made the interveiw that day for a reason. Shuichi was right, he had blown off things like that before, but he WOULDN'T blow this one off. There was no way. He couldn't go and see Shuichi off, the thought of Shuichi leaving was bad enough. Watchin the singer leave would hurt even more. However, Shuichi seem completely unaware of how much the idea hurt him, continuing to plead with him to go.
"I can't Shuichi. You don't understand." Shuichi clenched his fist from where he was standing behind him, feeling his fingernails dig into his skin. Tears formed in the corner of his eyes as Yuki continued to ignore him, continuing on his novel instead. "I promise I'll pick you up when you come back, but I have things to do tomorrow. Try to understand. " /Please/ he added in his mind. He knew that Shuichi wouldn't ever really understand, Shuichi would see him off into hell without a second thought. However, Shuichi meant too much to Yuki to be able to do that. He was cool and collected at all times, while Shuichi was not. While Shuichi could freely cry and wish him good-bye Yuki couldn't force himself to do so, he had spent too long in his soliatry life. Not to mention that his pride wouldn't let him do it.
"Don't think that I don't understand! I'm not stupid!" Shuichi screamed, too upset to think things through completely. He should have known better than to scream at Yuki. However, he was hurt, REALLY hurt, and Yuki didn't give a damn. It was about time he did.
Yuki turned his chair around to face him, looking more than unpleased with him. Shuichi gasped and unclenched his hands, loosing what reslove he'd had before. The silence stretched as Yuki continued to glar at Shuichi, his own frightened eyes locked with his.
"I'm not," Shuichi finally restated, breaking the silence effectively.
"I never said you were. But you are stubborn, unreasonable, and more than a little spoiled," Yuki countered easily and Shuichi's eyes widened visibly.
"S-spoiled?" he repeated, clenching his hands again. Out of all the things he'd been called in his life spoiled had never been one of them. Ever.
"Yes, spoiled. You expect me to do everything for you. To throw away everything I worked so hard to build for you. You want me to be what YOU want me to be. And when I won't do it, you cry. And then you expect me to comfort you, and Ialways do. I spoil you, and you've gotten too used to it." Spoiled. He really was spoiled, wasn't he? Yuki was right, he spent so much time focusing on what he wanted. Always. It had always been like that. However, he wasn't about to give into that so easily.
"What about you?! You treat me like crap and I put up with it! No matter what you do I stay here and put up with it! Who said I WANTED you to pick me up when I got back! What I leave for America and find a really pretty girl who wants to stay with me forever and I never COME back?! I listen to EVERYTHING you tell me! EVERYTHING! I'm sick of following your every order! I'm not spoiled, you are! You know I'll do what you want me to do and you take advantage of it! I'm always doing things for you!" Yuki's expression didn't change, which only made Shuichi cry harder, falling to his knees and sobbing. "Why do you hate me?! What did I do wrong?!" Before Yuki could answer he stood up and ran out of the room, grabbing his already packed things and running out of the apartment as fast as he could. He would just have to stay with Hiro that night. Hiro said he'd see him off so they'd both be going to the same place anyway. Hiro'd probably be glad to see him one last night before he left.
Yuki got up and closed the door to his apartment, leaning back against it. "You didn't do anything wrong. That's why I love you. That's why I can't see you off tomorrow. One day you'll have to understand."
~~~~~
Yukiko leaned her head against Shuichi's shoulder as he continued to hold her and cry. It was kind of comforting, in a strange sense. She felt safe when she was with her daddy, but with Shuichi she just felt...needed she guessed. It was a strange feeling for someone her age, to be really needed. She knew that her daddy needed her, but her daddy had never gone to her for comfort. Her presence was enough for him, while Shuichi actually needed something from her.
She giggled a bit as Shuichi's hair brushed against her cheek and neck (her neck was sort of ticklish) and clung to Shuichi's shirt tighter. "You'a hai'a is soft, Shuichi. Just like daddy said," she mummbled, shutting her eyes as Shuichi's sobbing slowed considerably. Shuichi felt nice, safe like her daddy yet kinda cudely like a stuffed animal. It was a weird mix, to say the least. Curling a strand of Shuichi's hair around one finger she fell asleep. Other hand still clinging loosely to his shirt.
Shuichi sighed as he felt Yukiko fall asleep, picking her up off his lap gently and leaning back against the wall, supporting her as she slept so she didn't wake up. For the first time Shuichi actually bothered to take a good look at her. She was kind of tiny, but not really, with short brown hair and large gold eyes he'd noticed before. He wondered if Yuki looked anything like her when he was her age...whatever that was. She did remind him an aweful lot of Yuki. Smart and sweet and beautiful. Shuichi was willing to bet her mother had possesed those traits as well.
He jumped as the crowd in front of him moved, tightening his hold on Yukiko somewhat, making her move a little in her sleep. He blinked a couple times as he caught sight of Yuki stading in front of him. Well, he had been standing, know he was kneeling down in front of him and Yukiko. Shuichi blinked a couple times before removing Yukiko's finger from his hair and handing her back to Yuki. However, instead of picking her up he merely leaned over and kissed her cheek, pressing her back against Shuichi's chest.
"Idiots. Both of you," he stated as Shuichi stared at him, confused. "So, are you coming back home or should I wake her up and let her say goodbye?" Yuki asked, a confusing look on his face. Shuichi had the horrible feeling that Yuki'd do whatever he told him to do. He looked down at the sleeping child in his arms and felt the tears well up again. She was sweet, she was beautiful, she was everything he'd have wanted from a child, she...wasn't his. Wouldn't ever be his. She was Yuki's, and whatever memory of a woman Yuki continued to hold. He couldn't continue to dream that he could stay with her in a perfect exsistence, things didn't work that way.
"Do you want me to come back? I figured...after all the things I said...that you wouldn't show up. That you wouldn't want me to come back," Shuichi explained rejectedly, still staring at Yukiko.
"Idiot, of course I want you to come back. Hell, she wanted you to come back and she'd never met you. We were both being spoiled that day. Come home and I promise I'll explain things to you," Yuki offered and Shuichi nodded, using the wall to help him stand up with the added weight of Yukiko in his arms. As they started walking towards the exit Shuichi finally voiced what had been bugging him since he'd seen Yuki again.
"Did...did you love her?" Shuichi asked, stopping. Yuki stopped as well and turned around. Thankfully the crowd was thining as the minutes passed by.
"I cared for her, yes, but I never loved her," Yuki answered easily, hands burried in her pockets.
"So it's true then. You really did...leave me. If it would have been an accident, I wouldn't have minded so much, but..." Shuichi spoke more to himself than Yuki, staring down at the ground. "I'm sorry, but I just can't do this Yuki. I can't go home and be around you both, it hurts too much. To know that you left me and had a child. I just...I can't." Yuki sighed and walked forward, resting his hands on Shuichi's shoulders and hoping Shuichi would understand the simple sentence he offered as comfort.
~*~*~*~*~
AND YOU'LL NEVER KNOW WHAT IT IS UNTIL NEXT CHAPTER!!! BUHAHAHAHAHA! Although I doubt any of you really care. Sorry this took so long to get out but my mind's constantly straying to my other ficcies (I NEED to finish those as soon as I finish this one. Maybe then I'll continue with this but right now it's a break from those). Hahaha! Everything will be explained in the next chapter! Until then...
BYEBYE!!!
P.S.--If anyone was wondering about the title of this fic I'll have it explained next chapter.