I do not own Greys Anatomy or Private Practice. They belong to Shonda Rhimes..

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Derek spent the night in an on call room at the hospital, too tired to think about what had happened, or its implications on his relationship with Meredith. He didn't get a wink of sleep, only plagued with thoughts of his ex-wife, the last two years of their marriage, and how he treated her like shit. He had ignored her, and pushed her into the arms of another man. And although it's four years too late, he had never had this kind of realization before, even at the brink of their divorce. He suddenly had an urge to see her, to make sure she was okay, so that he could finally lay to rest the memory of the once strong Montgomery-Shepherd marriage.

He decided that the only way he could move forward was to confront Addison, and find peace of mind that she was in a far better place than when she was with him. So he decided to talk with the chief, because he knew the chief cared for him like a son and would understand his needs, even if at the moment, they were unfounded.

Derek found himself in front of Richard's office, knocking and waiting anxiously for the chief to beckon him in.

"Come in.," Derek heard him call, so he opened the door and entered.

"Good morning, Chief."

"Shep, it's you. How are you?" the chief greeted, motioning for Derek to take a seat.

Derek took a seat. "I'm fine," he said. "But I think I'll better once I've spoken to you."

The chief raised his brow at him. "Do you need anything?" He was concerned.

"I need three days off," he started. "For personal reasons. I'm leaving the city."

"Is there anything wrong?" the chief asked him, narrowing his gaze at Derek. He was worried, that was for sure. But more than that, his curiosity was getting the better of him, too.

"Look," Derek explained. "I know what you're going to say. But if I don't do this now, I won't be able to let this down for the rest of my life."

The chief repositioned himself from where he was sitting behind the desk. "I don't understand."

Derek sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose at the onset of a headache. "I just… I need to see her, Richard. I need to see her. I ignored her when she was here, and whenever she comes to visit, I treat her horribly. Everything I've done towards her is catching up on me and I have… I have to apologize. I need to tell her I'm sorry. And maybe it's too late but I suppose I have to tell her I need her, too. I need her," he repeated, his voice bordering on desperate.

It was Richard's turn to sigh. "Derek. This comes as a warning. You know I love you both as if you were my own kids, but I'm telling you. It's a bad idea. You shouldn't go. You're still with Meredith, and you marching over to LA to give false hopes will only hurt her. You have to think all of this through," he advised, knowing it wasn't going to turn out prettily if Derek acted on instinct.

"Chief, trust me. I can't promise it won't be emotional, but I'm going to try my best not to hurt her. I just need to see her. And maybe… if I'm honest with myself," he gulped. "If I'm honest with myself, I'll admit that a part of myself never stopped loving her… or something," he continued confusedly. "I don't. I don't know why I'm feeling this way, especially now after three years. But I know that if I don't do anything about it now, I'm going to regret it for the rest of my life."

Richard stared at him intently, trying to read his thoughts, his intentions. Derek was a fairly logical man, trying hard not to act on his emotions. But before him was a man just as confused as he was when he was at the brink of leaving Adele. He sighed. "All right. But please, don't make her hope. Don't tell her you love her or you miss her if you don't mean it, or worse, if you're not planning to act on it. It's only going to hurt her. Now, I know it isn't my place, but the two of you tried and lost your chance." He paused, not knowing what else to say. "Just try to do the right thing."

"I… I can't really promise you that, but I'll try. It's never too late," he said, suddenly anxious as he stood up abruptly. "Thanks, chief. Just… thank you."

With that he walked out of Richard's office, barely hearing the chief yell at him about meaning what he said. He was walking, or really, striding, because he was given permission to see Addison. And he was. He was going the see the beautiful redhead that had been occupying his thoughts day in and day out.

He was walking rather excitedly, planning all the things he was going to say to Addison when he saw Meredith talking with Cristina. He sighed, knowing he would have to talk to her.

He saw Cristina leave Meredith, and he took his chance to come up to her.

"You're avoiding me," he stated, ignoring Meredith's wary look. "And you're ignoring me. But I haven't seen you today and we have to talk."

She rolled her eyes. "I don't want to talk to you, not right now anyway."

He sighed. "Fine. But I'll have you know that I'm going out of town today. I'll be back Monday morning. So, since you're not talking to me, that'll make it easier."

Meredith's eyes widened at the news. Derek was leaving town unexpectedly. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to Connecticut this weekend to see Nancy. You remember her, right? My sister?" He was lying, obviously, but he couldn't tell her that he was going to gallivant around LA to see Addison.

"Oh." Meredith's face fell. "She hates me," she stated, her nose wrinkling. "Okay. Well… go. I wouldn't come with you even you invited me anyway."

He didn't know if he was going to be appalled, angry, or left laughing. So he merely nodded, slightly relieved. "See you Monday then."

"You're seriously going?"

"Yeah. She called me, told me she needed to see me. So yes, I'm going. But it's only a weekend Mer. You're not going to die, or whatever."

"Fine," she said haughtily. "Take care of yourself." She was still mad at him, obviously, she merely walked away without saying goodbye, knowing that the next time she would see him would be Monday morning.

IN LA

The co-op doctors were having coffee at the practice's kitchen, a daily routine they had all come to appreciate since all the Pacific Wellcare drama. Addison was chatting with Naomi about someone or other guy she was going to date, but cancelled last minute.

Naomi looked at Addison worriedly. After all these years, she was still trying her very best to take care of Addison, to look out for her even when Addie was too proud to admit she needed someone too. "Addie, are you sure you don't want me to come over your house tonight? I mean, you're going to be alone anyway, and I could bring some really good cheesecake over. Maybe some wine too," she suggested.

Addison rolled her eyes. "I'm fine, Nae. Don't worry. Just because he cancelled doesn't mean I'm depressed, or that I need a pity part. Seriously. He cancelled. It's his loss. So really, I just want a quiet evening tonight. I want to be alone, maybe get a little drunk… and wallow in the mess I call my life."

Nae sighed. "Adds, you don't have to blame yourself for everything, you know? Some guys are asses so not everything's your fault."

She raised a perfectly arched brow at Naomi, her eyes somewhat disbelieving. "Really? Because I seem to remember all the other guys I've dated or had sex with to go running to the hills. All of them did, Nae, so clearly the problem's with me. Derek, Mark, Alex, Pete, Kevin, Wyatt, Noah… hell, even that guy who put my shoe in his ass! They're all either married or dating someone else. And maybe they weren't really the best choices I've made but….," she sighed. "I really just want to be alone tonight."

Addison looked at Naomi pleadingly, willing her to understand that she didn't need anyone telling her it would be better, because it would verify the fact that she were in rock bottom.

Naomi just looked at her concernedly.

"I have patients waiting for me in my office," Addison said, standing up straight from where she was leaning on the counter. "I'll see you later."

Addison left, knowing she was deflecting, avoiding all her problems and throwing herself into work. And although she knew Naomi was just worried about her, trying to help, there really was nothing else anyone could do because the problem lay with Addison, and only Addison could fix it.

An hour later, Addison found herself finished with all her patients. She couldn't very well get adjusted to the infinitesimal number of patients she had in a day, considering she was a surgeon and very used to having countless emergencies within the day. So packed up and left, fully intent on wallowing in self pity at home. She was going to spend the evening by herself, drinking wine, and reminiscing over all the failed relationships she ever had in her life. She was half-depressed, half-desperate, especially considering her age. She was entering a mid-life crisis, but she wouldn't admit that, not even to Naomi.

Meanwhile, Derek found himself in an LA taxi, giving the cabbie directions to Addison's home. He would sheepishly admit that he had googled his ex-wife, and the home she owned right in front of a beach. Fifteen minutes after leaving the airport, he was standing in front of a beautiful property that he knew Addison had meticulously chosen and designed.

Without a second thought, he walked up to the front door and rang the bell, unconsciously digging his hands into his pocket as he awaited someone to pad across the hall and open the door.

And as he waited, he was panicking deep inside. He knew she was going to hate him for this, for ruining whatever sense of sanity she had come up with in LA. What was he thinking? What he doing? And he knew, he knew he was going the screw up.

This was a bad idea. But before he could act on that realization, the front door swung open, revealing Addison clad only in a ratty t-shirt, her right hand clutching a goblet of wine, and her face showing complete surprise.

The last person she wanted to see was standing right in front of her, on her front step, and looking like he needed to see her desperately. Everything, everything was completely unexpected and shocking that she could come up with only a few set of coherent words.

"Derek? What are you doing here?"

I'll update soon I promise! Please review and tell me what you think!