NAKED

Before Reading Notes (BRN): This is the final chapter of the two-shot unless Veguard and myself (Scrimpy) are convinced there is a good enough audience to continue this story. So if you want to see more of this story, please review, favorite the story, or place it under your alerts. We appreciate all the feedback we receive! :D

Chapter I: Cowboys and Bigfoot

Working for SHIELD was like riding that super-awesome-looking-carnival ride and then discovering that for the most part, that super-awesome-looking-carnival ride was actually super disappointing and boring. Yeah, there were times when the ride was explosive and awesome and cool and everything thing Darcy dreamed of when she thought of super soldiers and secret agents, but for the most part, SHIELD was just another stupid, government bureaucracy. She had thought she would playing with super, glowing green radioactive isotopes—or whatever the hell they were called. She did not really care to know or be correct.

But no, she was back to her same old post as Jane's lackey. And there was not even anything mildly dangerous for her to touch. It was just more shuffling of paper work, making sure the computers' wires were not crossed, and recording every single word—without using so much as being able to use dictation or short-cuts was a pain in the flipping ass—that came out of Jane's mouth. And then there was the fact that pretty much every flipping SHIELD agent thought she was their lackey. Dammit! She was Jane's lackey and Jane's only! If they wanted their own lackey, they could just go grab some shitty college student like Jane had done.

Darcy grumbled, resting her head on her arms across the unorganized papers and coffee stained table. Her hair scattered over her purple and coffee stained jacket. In the pocket of her jeans, she could feel her phone begging for her attention. Well, more like one of the agents begging to have her run more of their errands. Fuckin' lazy asses... Then she would be damned if she answered the squirming phone, and damned if she did not. There was just no way of winning. It was like she was stuck between landing on the Go to Jail marker or landing on a hotel on the Monopoly board. She sighed and buried her head further into her head.

Going to jail was better than going bankrupt because you could always buy drugs in jail to keep yourself sane.

"Ms. Darcy."

The sound of that slightly nasal but assertive yet calm voice jolted her right out of her chair and had her scrambling to grasp the table to keep herself from embarrassingly—okay, more embarrassingly—falling onto the floor like some geeky nerd. Well, to be fair, she already was a geeky nerd, but still, there is something to be said from trying to refrain from her stereotype as much as possible. Darcy looked up, disgruntled and disoriented as the sight of the first man in black Mr. Agent Coulson.

She must have been stuttering "um" or "uh" because he looked curiously to her before asking, "Are you well?"

"Totally, dude," Darcy chirped hastily. She carefully slid into her chair, acting as if she had not just been scared shitless by one of the men in black. "Jane's in the room down the hall with the other men in black."

"I'm not looking for Ms. Foster today," Agent Coulson answered. "I came to inquire about your assistance, but it appears you are busy enough."

His eyes shifted to the—ah, fuck! Darcy groaned as coffee slowly being soaked into the papers. "Uh, no, I'm not busy," Darcy said as she swiped the important papers casually into the metal trashcan beside the table. She grinned at him, resting casually but nervously twitching in her plastic chair. "Just finished up a bit of spring cleaning. So, uh, why are you wanting me?"

"I thought you might want a break. I recall you cursing out the sun last time I was here, and then you were wishing you could take a vacation to some place cold and cloudy," Agent Coulson said politely. "I'm heading to the Rocky Mountains this weekend, and my current assistant is out with a nasty cold. I assumed you would be interested in coming."

"You mean be your lackey for the whole weekend?" Darcy asked flatly.

"Possibly longer," he clarified. "Things always seem to happen on these road trips."

She sucked in the side of her cheek and began to nibble on it like she were a cow. Hm... Be Jane's lackey or Coulson's lackey? Hm... "Deal!" Darcy chimed. He seemed honestly surprised by her sudden answer; especially after she put it that she would be his entire "bitch" for the weekend. "I'm getting promoted. So when do I get my own black suit to wear?"

"I think it would be best if you remained in civilian clothes," Agent Coulson suggested. "But if you feel compelled to feed your Men in Black fetish, then you may see Agent Sitwell about proper attire."

A tiny squeal came from her grinning mouth. "Awesome!" She jumped out of her chair and looped her arm around her new employer. "So what are we going to investigate? An alien crash? A super secret government mutant escaped and is about to devour an entire town?" She grinned eagerly like a little toddler—damn, she felt like one at the moment—at Coulson, and even her eyes glimmered with pent-up giggles.

"How much do you know about Bigfoot?" he asked casually.

Her eyes popped right out of her head with ten pounds of confetti slowly dancing its way to the ground. "Bigfoot?" she gasped. "Like the big ol', furry guy that stands ten feet tall and has super biiiiiiiiiiig feet?" She stood on her tip toes and reached up to the ceiling to demonstrate how big Bigfoot was. "Oh my God, this gonna be amazing! We're going to see Bigfoot!" She went off on a string of giggles. "So why are gonna go see Bigfoot? Are we gonna recruit him too for SHIELD?"

He chuckled, walking towards the glass door and his car. "Not exactly," he spoke forebodingly.

"Then why?" she asked, genuinely curious. "It's kind've the worse secret kept by the U.S. Government. No offense, but its the truth."

He had a sly, know-it-all, ominous smile splayed across his finely aged, thin lips. "Bigfoot does not look anything like you imagine. Bigfoot is not so big, nor is Bigfoot furry," Agent Coulson explained. "Try about six feet or so and blue skin with a nasty temper."

Darcy literally deflated before, but her misery only lasted about two seconds before she became elated with the idea that Bigfoot looked more like an alien than an ape. It was about time that Bigfoot was reinvented anyway. "I thought Bigfoot was allusive," she replied. "All the History Channel and Animal Planet documentaries have said that Bigfoot likes to hide."

"Bigfoot does," he mused. "But Bigfoot has a nasty temper. Over the years Bigfoot has killed more hunters than I care to recount. Last night, we got a report that Bigfoot actually killed a cowboy that took out a group of so-called experts out to find proof of Bigfoot. And well, the cowboy was killed after he shot Bigfoot. There are several others hurt, but nothing major. The cover up story right now is that it was rabid mother bear that attacked them after being provoked. That story will not hold up again if Bigfoot attacks. So we are going to go there and negotiate with Bigfoot."

"Negotiate?" she asked excitingly. "Bigfoot is sentient? Oh my God!" She clapped her hands together and began to dance in place. Oh damn, she had hit the lottery today! Forget about going to jail, she just a got a free pass to go around the Monopoly board and land on Go. Darcy turned her head to the side. "How do you know Bigfoot is sentient?"

"That is a secret, Ms. Darcy," Coulson answered. "One that you do not need to know, but you ought to know that your political science degree may come in handy when dealing with Bigfoot."

"Mmmk," she mused. She followed him out the door and into the unforgiving, summer heat. The heat waves rolled over the earth like hellish ocean waves. "How do you know Bigfoot is blue?" Darcy inquired with another quirky tilt of her head. "I mean, why the hell does everyone in America think Bigfoot is a furry, King Kong offspring?"

His know-it-all smile grew. "Again, Ms. Darcy, more secrets that you cannot know yet," he answered.

Her ears perked. "Yet?" she asked in a whisper.

He settled his eyes upon her as he slid into his black leather seat. "Consider this your interview to evaluate your abilities and potential for becoming a SHIELD agent." Her jaw fell off her face and clattered on the dry, clay ground with a sickening crack. "You have potential, Ms. Darcy. You think outside the box. After all, it was you that proposed that Thor was an alien. That kind of observation and thinking is exactly what we need at SHIELD. Make a good impression this weekend, and you'll never have to work for Jane again." Coulson gave her a confident smile and subtle nod of his head. He slammed the door shut, and Darcy watched as the agent drove off in a cloud of dust. As soon as she was confident he could not see her in his rearview window, she did a victory dance.

Score!

But victory did not last long. This Bigfoot business was some serious shit. She had to sit through a three hour debrief with Agent Sitwell. She had felt like shooting out her brains at multiple points because of how fucking boring he was when it came to explaining how to go about handling and conducting business. And really, the only reason she did not follow through on her actions was because of that pristine suitcase sitting across the table with her name written on it with a pink sticky note and black pen. Darcy grinned at the suitcase, just reminding herself to sit there just a bit longer. Just. A. Freaking. Bit.

"And now," the bald agent drawled while looking at his watch. "You have a plan to catch in approximately thirty-six minutes."

Thirty-six freaking minutes? C'mon! She huffed and settled back into her cozy, warm, leather seat. "Thirty-six minutes?" she questioned. "How the hell am I suppose to get pass security in thirty-six minutes? Security alone takes all day to get through." Like a magician, he whipped out a small, awful official looking card and slid it across to her. Darcy greedily took the pass in her hand to savor every single detail in the official, federal—oh, that word sounded nice to her ears—pass. "No security?"

"None. You're above it for the time being," Agent Sitwell said as he sat across from her, folding his hands together. "Do not abuse the gift. Now, you better leave before Fury lives up to his last name."

She was pretty sure, not a hundred percent confident, that she squealed. Darcy ran like a wild woman out the door with her suitcase, cussing out more than a few of the snidy SHIELD agents that used to boss her around like some slave girl. After all, soon enough she could be like 'em! Hell, if she was Coulson's assistant full time, she would probably boss them around. Oh, how sweet revenge would be then!

Just a quick flight up to the Rocky Mountains and a long, boring, silent car ride into the middle of nowhere in the mountains, Darcy was reunited with her new boss. Dressed in a fitting black suit to match him, she felt like she was walking on air beside him. She completely ignored the fact that they were dressed in formal attire while trekking in the Rockies. Granted, SHIELD probably paid for every single one of these suits. It just seemed like such a waste of a perfectly good suit to her.

"So... Bigfoot?" she asked. "Are we going to go hunting Bigfoot?"

"No," Coulson answered. "Bigfoot knows when to come when we call her."

"Her?" she gasped. "Bigfoot is girl? Damn, girl, she dun got in trouble with the popo." She rubbed her two index fingers together in a tsk-tsk fashion. But then she looked to the SHIELD agent with more questions just ready burst from her mouth. "How do you know how to find Bigfoot?"

"Bigfoot knows when to come," he assured. "If Bigfoot does not come, then Bigfoot knows the consequences."

She nodded before chewing on her lip. "Consequences? What kind of consequences are we talking about here, chief?" Darcy pulled out her taser from its lovely case on her hip.

Coulson seemed genuinely amused by her high spirits. "Bigfoot made an agreement with the U.S. Government back in the days before the West was won. She would have her own sliver of land if she stayed there. We would not be able to touch or interact with her unless she left her plot of land—" Darcy flinched at the word. How inhumane sounding? "But if she left her sanctuary, as she has done, then we could come onto her land and punish her."

"I thought we were going to negotiate with her?" Darcy said puzzled.

"We are," he said through a sigh. "We need to detain her before she leaves her lands again and kills someone. We need to negotiate her freedom for a safe, confined life within SHIELD. That will be the problem since Bigfoot is, uh—" He took in a deep breath as he surveyed the rocky and tree coated terrain around them. "Bigfoot is more than capable than taking the two of us out in a single swipe of her hand, but that is why we have guns." He gently patted his revolver lurking in its secure pouch. "She's been shot and needs medical attention. She'll be coming for us."

Darcy hesitated in her next step. Her breath hitched in her throat. Okay, doing awesome, super agent stuff sounded fun until that little, last bit was added. She would gladly handle isotopes any day, but a Bigfoot that could take her down in one swipe? That changed things just a tad bit. She scuttled closer to Coulson. While she was pretty good with a taser, she doubted her skills with a firearm. Hell, she would probably end up killing her superior by accident! "Is she friendly?" she asked meekly.

"According to Fury, Bigfoot doesn't talk, but she knows our language," he enlightened. "As long as she sees that we have guns, she'll cooperate."

"How can you be so sure?"

Coulson took in a deep breath of cool, chilly air, and it came out hot and humid like a summer breeze. "She has been conditioned to come and cooperate with us." She caught the ever-so-slight grimace on his face. "Before SHIELD was formed, the government did not exactly give her basic human rights simply because she is, well, different. If you look—" He nodded to the trees. "They used to have a barbed fence around these parts. And she remained in the government's hands until a connection was made between she and Thor."

"Thor?" she peeped. That silly grin came rushing back to her face every time the God's name was mentioned. Of course, that delicious image of his super fine, drool worthy, topless body. Yummy! "What could Thor have in common with Bigfoot?"

Coulson held back a moment, hesitating and weighing the situation. Darcy followed behind him, just waiting anxiously for his answer. "They share the same genetic markers," he finally revealed. "They appear to be of the same origin, but each differ slightly, making them possibly different species. This is precisely why she fell underneath SHIELD's care." He stopped atop a cliff. Darcy unconsciously gripped onto him as she stared back down at the steep, thirty foot drop.

"So she's some type of Goddess?" Darcy inquired, trying to focus on something other than falling off the cliff.

"It is my own inclination that is a good possibility," Coulson said as he took her hand and led her over the cracked cliff to a cozy looking patch of snow and trees. "She has abilities that would fall into such category."

"Like what? Laser eyes? Does she shoot out thunder bolts too? Can she fly?"

He chuckled at her fast, high-pitched voice. Clearly he was amused by her, and Darcy took some pride in that. "No, but she has control over the elements, particularly ice. She is what could possibly be a Frost Giant from Norse mythology."

"A giant?" she questioned flatly. "She's short!"

He shrugged. "Yes, but she exhibits characteristics of them," Coulson debated. "Giants in general were more like nature spirits than anything. According to her history, when she was kept under the care of the U.S. Government, she was confound deep underground in Area 51 many years ago as punishment for leaving her designated area quite a few years ago. There they completely surrounded her in metal. She became very ill, to the point of dying. They were forced to release her back into nature. There she became healthy within a few days."

"And now she is going to be taken from it? How do you know she won't become ill again?" Darcy probed. There was a slight anger to her voice.

"Fury has set aside a special enclosure for her," he answered.

That did not sit well with Darcy. Not a bit. Nope. Not at all. She hopped eagerly off the cliff onto solid ground, and she stopped Coulson by standing in front of the not-so-daunting agent. "You're treating her like an animal!" she growled.

"We have no other choice but to detain her until she can be evaluated as a threat or ally," the agent argued. He watched as Darcy refused to move at his unsatisfactory answer. "Ms. Darcy, these are orders from Fury. Whether you agree to them or not is not important at the moment. They must be followed through for the safety of the public." He shuffled to the side and slide pass Darcy like a slithering, political snake. "It is not my intention to place unjust persons in a cage, but, Ms. Darcy, not all enhanced beings are friendly. You have seen the proof first hand."

Darcy folded her arms and pouted like a toddler, but then, a little idea crept into her head. "You mean there are super criminals?" she asked, almost elated at the thought of two super forces clashing in an epic battle full of blood, guts, and glory. She came walking beside Coulson again. "Do you have a super villain jail for them?"

"Yes," Coulson answered. "We do in fact have a facility."

"Do you have any super villains in there?"

"Yes."

"Who?"

He looked down to her, and she instantly knew before he spoke the words. Darcy deflated while cussing inside her ADHD mind. "That is classified, Ms. Darcy," he answered. She could picked up on that aura from Coulson when suddenly on the inside he became defensive. On the outside he remained calm and cool, casually keeping his back to the wall as he continued to move like nothing was wrong. Slowly from inside his jacket, Coulson pulled out his sleek, ebon' gun from its holster.

"Bigfoot?" she squealed a little too high and loud. Darcy scuffled to put her back to the wall. She pushed herself against Coulson, while brutally chewing on her lip like a dog's chew toy. She looked up and down, to the left, to the right, to the west, and to the east. Finally, somewhere South East, her dark brown eyes rested in that crack between the trees where the sunlight filtered down to the frosted ground. And wow! Bigfoot was just, wow. Forget the fur. This was so much fucking better.

Bigfoot was a lithe and stringy thing, much like a yearling tree. There something vulnerable about her, something very fragile, like her life was teetering on the edge of death. It was not that she did not look healthy because she did, but it was the aura about her. Every feather-light step she took was thoughtful, careful, and calculated. She did not make a single sound as she moved gracefully over the ground. Darcy noticed that not a single blade of grass was bent by her steps. That gave Darcy the sense that Bigfoot was some ethereal creature meant to be worshipped. There was no way she was some horrible villain. No, she had to be a goddess. Darcy was sure of it in her gut.

Bigfoot's skin was not blue, or entirely blue like Coulson had described. The closer she came, the more both of them could see that clearly her skin was not blue. Her skin and whole flesh seemed to be only ice. They could hear the creaks of the ice breaking and refreezing with each step she took. She was facinating because on the top, her skin was the most transparent, and like the ice on the lakes in winter, her skin became more and more opaque with depth. Just beneath the ice, Darcy would swear on her life that there was this beautiful and deep blue water rushing underneath and through her like the water in glaciers.

Her face was mezmorizing. It was very soft and sweet like cotten candy. There were no harsh angles to her face, just very soft curves. She had a high eye-ridge but no eye brows to speak of. Her cheeks were chizzled down so they did not stand out. From what she could tell, her lips were lighter than the rest of her body, seemingly dusted in permanent snow flakes. The other features of her oval face were lost because of her eyes' brilliance. Bigfoot's eyes were exactly like two burning coals that warmed the soul. They even gave off a very subtle glow in the sunlight.

Darcy realized a moment later that Bigfoot wore not a single shred of clothing. It was just out of instinct that she immediately began to take off her black jacket so Bigfoot could cover up her small breasts. It occurred to her, that Bigfoot probably did not own a shred of clothing. A sense of sympathy washed over Darcy. She held out it to her with a smile on her face. "You can take it," she spoke. Bigfoot tilted her head curiously, suspicious of the kindness. "I insist."

Hesitantly her icy fingers curled around the soft material. She gently took it from Darcy and slid it over her body. The jacket was too big for her, but Darcy still smiled. "You look good. You should try pants some time." She thrust her hand out there. "I'm Darcy." Again, Bigfoot tilted her head curiously at the motion. "You shake it with your hand." Bigfoot folded her arms close to her chest and shook her head in denial.

Coulson cleared his throat, earning Bigfoot's full attention. "I'm Agent Coulson. I'm here about your recent discretion." There was a distinct, low, primitive growl emitted form Bigfoot that shook all two-hundred and some of Darcy's bones. But oh, Coulson, nothing intimidated him. Nothing. He let out a deep breath. "What you did was unacceptable—"

"They threatened me, crossed into my land," she snorted.

"SHIELD acknowledges that the civilians did cross the lines into your lands, but you did not need to kill them," Coulson argued. "Two wrongs do not make a right, Bigfoot. This is not the first time you have killed either, is it?" She was silent, and Bigfoot stared hatefully at Coulson before bowing her eyes to the ground. There was the truth to dispell Darcy's theory that this creature could not kill. "We have a place set aside at SHIELD where you can come. You will never have to deal with civilians again. You will be safe with us. We will take care of you. You can live comfortably if you cooperate."

"No," she breathed.

"Let me make myself clear, if you cooperate, you will have nothing to fear," Coulson said coolly.

"No," she repeated in the same, strong tone. Her eyes drifted to the gun Coulson had between his eager fingers. Bigfoot took a step back towards the tree line. Her eyes continued to flicker between Coulson and the gun. Darcy could see the pain in her eyes and the connection the gun brought to her. It was very obvious to her that Bigfoot had been at the deadly end of a gun one too many times. It was her hypothesis that this was how Bigfoot was conditioned to come to them.

Darcy glowered at Coulson. "You shouldn't do this," she hissed. Another, deep grumble came from Bigfoot. She glanced wearily at the creature, and then looked with grave concern at Coulson.

"Come now, Bigfoot," Coulson stated. "I am much friendly than the other agents."

"No," she repeated; this time, she sounded as if she were about to snap. In less than a blink of an eye, she was there in front of Coulson with her hand around his neck and lifting him off the ground like he weighed nothing. She jerked the gun out of his hand and tossed it away. From her hand, his skin began to churn black and blue from her icy touch. Just as Darcy went to reach for her weapon, Coulson was unceremonously tossed on top of her. Darcy yelped as her head hit the rocky terrain hard. Immediately she could feel her goey, hot blood begin to trickle down her face and into her eye. Her vision blurred with the last clear image being of Bigfoot taking through the trees.

Through a raspy voice, Coulson managed to say into his walkie talkie, "She's all yours."

AUTHORS' BLOG-THINGY-MAJIG

Scrimpy: I swear we had too much fun writing Darcy. She's so quirky and easy to write. She and Coulson would make the greatest non-super hero pairing ever. This needs to become canon in future films. On another note, I hope you enjoyed the chapter and the cliffhanger.

Vee: Haha, yes! This was such a fun chapter to write. :) Be sure to reply if you want to see more!

Review Replies (RR): Since we do not share e-mail, we have decided to answer all reviews here in the chapters. This gives us a chance to each respond to the reviews personally.

Annella - "Great so far! Continue please! =) Thanks for writing!"

Scrimpy: Thank you! Hopefully you enjoyed this as well. :) It has yet to be decided if this story will evolve into anything other than a two-shot at the moment. We-mostly myself since I have another story I am writing-need some motivation to split my time further between this story, my other story (TGA), personal works, and college.

Vee: I am pleased you enjoyed the prologue too. It was hella fun to write Loki and Sigyn as younger people. && it was super fun to try to come up with the event that would have changed Loki into the cold, pathological liar, and emotionally unstable trickster we all know and love.

Lahni - "That was wonderful, very moving. Please continue!"

Scrimpy: As stated above, we'll see if we continue this. Both Vee and I would love to continue to write this story. We have a whole plot worked out and everything! We just need the chance now to get this story out there. But even if we don't continue, I'm glad you've enjoyed it this much!

Vee: Thank you for the review! I always enjoy reading them. I hope that even though this chapter didn't have Loki and Sigyn interacting, that you still found it fun to read as it was to write. && merry christmas!