Z The Very Narsty Amusement Park Stor Part II!!
Disclaimer:
They ain't my characters, 'sept Viv and Robin. Oh yah, I don't have anything against gay people or carnies, I know a few, in fact."Look!" Viv said, "We're almost there."
They had turned a bend on the bumpy road with cracked pavement that the city was to lazy and stubborn to repair because they wanted to spend their money on a third new football stadium, and they came into view of a very large and gay looking amusement park.
"Well that sucks." Grumbled Bob.
"I thought we were going to a real amusement park!" Ron whined, "This place looks really gay."
"You're the one who sounds like your in N*SYNC or something, so quit whining already." Hermione snapped.
"Go screw yourself." Ron flipped her off.
The buses stopped suddenly, throwing them all onto the floor, which had gum and shit on it.
The all got up and walked off the piece of crap would-be buses.
"Everyone get your candy asses over here!!!!" barked Snape, sounding like that dude on G.I. Jane, "You dumb-asses better not cause any fucking trouble!! Listen to the carnies, even though they're probably even dumber than Neville!! No freaking drugs either!!!" he sprayed them all with spit, "And any one I find screwing in the bathroom stalls gets a detention for the rest of their short, pathetic lives!!"
He took a cigarett out of his pocket, stuck it in his mouth and lit it.
"Ah, that fucking better," he said calmly, "and remember, I don't wanta see any of you freaking losers the whole time I'm here, so stay outta my way! Got it?!"
All the Hogwarts kids walked off in different directions.
"Snape is such a freaking loser," Hermione said, "I mean, he leaves his freaking desk drawer unlocked, and then wonders where the hell all his pot went."
"This place looks so gay," Robin said.
"I say we split up and look for good rides," Harry said, "Then we'll meet back here, at the giant statue of liquid cheese in 30 minutes. Yo?"
" 'K, whatever." Robin said.
They all walked off in different directions.
30 minutes later, at the Giant liquid cheese statue,
"There are freaking good rides it this pansy park!!!!" Viv screamed.
"What you guys find?" Ron asked.
"Nuttin," Bob said, "so maybe we could skip right to the part about screwing each other..?"
Everyone ignored him.
"I didn't find a freaking thing," Harry said.
"Only a food stand," Hermone grumbled.
"Everything here is a pansy gay ride." Said Robin.
"No shit."
"Are there any water rides?" Bob asked, "We could have a white T-shirt contest!"
Viv sighed, "Where you always horny, or is this a recent development?"
"There was one water ride," Harry said, "but the line was long."
"That's no problem." Hermione said, "We'll just hop a few fences."
They all walked over to the ride,and after pretending to have to puke in the fake bushes by the fences, they climbed over them and ran to the front of the line, and got in front of two Ravenclaws who were too stoned to notice them.
While they were in line, the girls magicked themselves into string bikini tops and short-shorts.
Around 5 minutes later, a carnie shoved them into a raft that was falling apart and had murky brownish yellow water(?) in the bottom.
"Yeeew!" Hermione said, "I think some one pissed in here!"
The raft suddenly bumped against the crumbling paper-mache rocks on the side of the "river". Every one grabbed on the the handle in the middle of the raft.
Every one that is, except for Bob,
"Oh no! Terbulence! Terbulence!" he said in monotone, "I am falling!"
He got up and pretended to fall on Viv. Like we've never heard that one before, yo?
"Look at that, more bumping!" he said, and started rolling all over her lap.
"Rriiigghhhttt.." Harry said.
"Oh look!" Viv said sarcastically, pointing in no peticular direction, "naked french chicks!"
"Where?!?!" Bob, Harry, and Ron yelled, standing up in the raft and looking around.
"That was really sad, that I had to say that to get that horny bastard of my legs." Viv sighed.
"Yep." Hermione shook her head.
When the pansy ride stopped, they weren't even remotley wet. All except Bob. And I don't want to have to explain that.
"This place is sooooo freacking boring." Ron grumbled.
"No shit," Robin said.
"Why don't we highjack the buses, head into town, and go clubbing?" Bob asked.
"You're a hell of a lot smarter than you look," Viv grinned at him, "but then again, that's not saying a whole lot."
So they all went out to the crappy parking lot where people were dealing drugs and pissing in broad day light.
"God!" Ron said, putting away his wallet and walking away from two guys in parkas, "Crack's expensive here!"
"We should really stock up on extacy," Hermione said, "if we're going to go clubbing."
"Good idea," said Harry, "I'm running low."
So they spent about ten minutes going through the parking lot, looking for extacy dealers, and came back with about four pounds of pills.
"This should be enough," Viv said, "we won't be gone for long."
They all hopped on the bus and Bob jumped in the driver's seat.
"Yo, I think I can drive this thing," He mumbled, looking around the dashboard, trying to figure out what the steering wheel was for.
"I'll do it," Viv said, sitting in his lap.
"You can drive?" Robin asked.
"I drove a golf cart once," she said, adding hastily, "I wasn't playing golf either, I was stealing it."
She turned the ignition, and the ingine grumbled, but didn't start.
"Shit!" Harry said, "The teachers probably emptied the tank in case someone tried to steal it!"
"It's alright," Ron said, "I got some Absolute in my bag, it'll probably run on that."
He got out to side of the bus and emptied a bottle of vodka into the gas thingy.
"That should do it."
Viv turned the ignition, and the bus started up.
She made a sharp turn, and drove outta the parking lot at 90 mph. She turned on the radio to Live105.3 which was playing Limp Bizket. Bob reached forward and cranked up the sound.
"This shit rocks!" he yelled.
Don't ask how you can get a California radio station in Britain.
They drove for about 20 minutes, but were plenty entertained by Viv's driving. She had a tendency to run other cars and people over, especaily since she was driving on the wrong side of the road.
"Yo," she screamed over the music, "This is the American way to drive! Yo?"
She flipped passing people off, and Bob helped her so she could use her hands to drive, not like it would of made one fucking bit of difference anyway, but hey.
Finally, they reached town.
"Where to park," Viv muttered, "Where to park?"
She eventually just ran into the front window of a grocery store.
"Everyone out!" she said, throwing up her arms.
"Mmmm," Bob said, "but I'm so comfy."
"Yah, I know, but that dude outside looks really pissed, so we gotta head out before he holds us up for trashing his store."
"Come on, yo?" Robin said urgently.
"Comin'," Bob said.
They stunned the store owner dude and walked down the street, looking for some decent indecent places to hang in.
They walked up to a huge building called "The Club Where You Go When You Really Just Want To Screw and Have No Intetion of Actually Dancing."
"This looks like a nice place," Bob said insistantly.
"I'd say so," Viv said, "especailly since I've finally decided I like you."
"Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Score!!!!!!!" He yelled.
"It looks great," said Ron.
"Yo." Said Robin.
"Yah, well who are Harry and I gonna screw with, huh?" Hermione grumbled.
"Well," Ron mused, "each other, I suppose, or maybe some random stranger you meet."
"You serious?!?" Hermione gasped.
"No, I am." Bob said.
Ok, that was stupid, but it had to happen sooner or later.
"What's wrong with that?" Harry asked.
"Hello!" Hermione yelled, "I'm not gonna get fucked by some loser I don't know!"
"Then get screwed by a loser you do know," Viv said, "like Harry."
"No way."
"Someone give her some freaking extacy!!" Robin complained.
All of them tackled Hermione to the ground and forced some of the "medication" down her throat.
"That's better," Bob said, dusting himself off.
"Yo," Viv agreed.
They walked in to the club and saw that some people were actually dancing. A group of slutty girls in silver mini dresses that reached their asses walked by. They all giggled,and a few of them waved to the guys.
"Hello!" Robin said, "Can't they see us standing right here?!"
"Those sluts are get a connection between my foot and their asses if they ever try to make a move on my man again." Viv raved.
"Yes!!!" Bob mouthed to Harry, "I'm her man!"
Hermione let the way out to the dance floor with the help of her feel good medicine. Robin freaked with Ron, Bob with Viv, Harry with some chick in a red mini dress, and Hermione with a fine German import, which she didn't realize was Viltor Krum, until he said,
"Herm-own-ninny! Is zat you?"
"Yo, yo!" she said strangley, "Vicky! I'm so glad you're here!! Let's go screw in the back room, yo?"
"Vow! Herm-own-niny, vhat zee fuck are you on?"
"Extacy!!! Whoo-Hooo!!!!"
So Krum and Hermione, who have a really big age difference (15 and 19, yo?), went in to the back room and joined an orgy that was already there.
Meanwhile
"So stranger, what's your name?"
"Harry. And yourself?"
"Natasha!!! Yah!!! That's right! Freak me good!!!'
Meanwhile, elsewhere..
"Wow Bob, I thought you were gonna suck, but you're great!!"
"Thank's Viv, your not bad yourself!!"
Meanwhile, elsewhere from elsewhere.
"Oh Robin!"
"Oh Ron!"
"Oh Robin!"
"OH RON!!!"
Meanwhile, elsewhere from the elsewhere that was elsewhere from elsewhere.
"Oh Severus!!!"
"Mmmm, That's good!!!" Snape said.
"Shit! You guys are sick!!" Harry walked in on McGonagall and Snape making out in another backroom.
"Get your own room Potter!!!" Snape yelled, "But leave that chick, she's hot."
"No thanks," she said shakily, "I think I'll join Harry."
They went into the next room, which was to dark to see anything.
Harry called out, "Anyone there?"
All they heard were grunting and groaning sounds. Harry took his zippo out of his pocket and lit it. What he saw made him yell out in horror,
"All Mighty God, protect us in thy infinite mercy!!! That's just SICK!!!!"
Voldermort was having a threesome with Wormtail and his snake, Nagini. That vision was undescibably narsty, yo?
"Oooh!" Voldermort said, "I told you helpers were rewarded, Wormtail!!! Ooooh look! It's Potter! He can join us!!!"
Harry and Natasha didn't hang around any longer. They finally found a room that was empty, where they screwed and lived happily ever after.
Meanwhile
"I am so glad I got with you Bob, you're hot!"
"Yah. You are too. Ya wanna joint?"
"Sure, that last 'session' we had was tough, I need to calm down a bit."
"Here you go," Bob handed Viv some pot.
Just as they were starting to calm down, the girl in the silver mini dress walked in.
"Oooh look!" she said, "It's that hotty I saw at the door!"
"Get away from my man or I'm gonna open up a can of whoop-ass on your butt!!! Yo?!?!" Viv yelled, the pot not taking affect yet.
"Yah right!" the slut said, "I could so kick your pathetic ass!"
Viv got off the the floor very slowly, the manic glint in her eyes coming into focus. She approached the slut, who tried to claw her with her cheap manacured nails, but Viv ducked and punched her in the face.
"That's how really women fight, Yo?!?!"
The slut screamed and grabbed Viv's hair.
"Bitch!" she yelled.
Bob sat on the ground, watching in awe.
Viv called upon the almighty Goddess within and did a round the house kick, knocking the slut to the ground.
The slut got off her pathetic ass and tried to kick Viv in the shins. Viv jumped and ran behind her. She got her in a head lock and ripped her arm behind her back. Viv relentlessly kicked her in the ass, till she finally dropped to the ground and sobbed over her broken nails and bruised butt.
"That'll teach you to make the moves on my man!!! Yo?!?"
Viv was so annoyed, she went to find Ron, Harry, Robin, and Hermoine. She grabbed Bob and they started to walk back to the bus. It took a while to get Harry and Natasha apart.
The group was walking back down the street, when 6 girls in silver mini dresses came out of an alley way and surrounded them.
"We are the gang of Sluts in Silver Minin Dresses, and you kicked our leader's ass," said a short blonde one to Viv, as she swung a pair of nun chucks around, "now you all must pay. We will kick your weak candy asses and take all your men!!!"
Viv got into a combat stance..
TO BE CONTINUED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That's the end of Part II, but I'll write part III soooooooon!!!!!!
Love from Trekky the writer, and Tigerlily the editor and revisor!!