Rachel Berry: Puckerman hacked my account to in a relationship with Sandy Ryerson, but I just fixed it back to Finn Hudson.
Kurt Hummel: They get worse time by time. And their fashion sense makes me want to sob.
Noah Puckerman: Heyy chicka, why not give in to the pedophile sexy gifts?
Leory Berry: Is a pedophile touching you inappropriately? Named Sandy Ryerson?SUING HIM. NOW.
Rachel Berry: Nobody inappropriately touched me. Of all seriousness, my account got hacked.
Leory Berry: Phew. Filing a lawsuit takes too much time. But is Sandy Ryerson actually a pedophile?
Kurt Hummel: awkward! lolz
Quinn Fabray: Rachel, r u seriously pregnant? Because it makes life so hard.
Artie Abrams: well, congrats?
Kurt Hummel: whose baby?
Santana Lopez: With Puck. AGAIN. DUH.
Finn Hudson: Rachel, you're even worse than Quinn! Breaking up with you!
Quinn Fabray: Hey!
Rachel Berry: Finn Hudson, you are way too gulliable! And at that party last night I caught you in bed with Brittany S Pierce. Any explaining there? And I AM NOT PREGNANT!
Blaine Anderson: is being pregnant like a glee club trend?
Kurt Hummel: GOD NO, BLAINE. it's not true anyway
Noah Puckerman: I actually used protection this time, imz not thattt stupid.
Finn Hudson: FINE. just call it even.
Blaine Anderson: Rachel, you should take a test to see if you're pregnant though.
Quinn Fabray likes this.
Brittany S. Pierce is in a relationship with Artie Abrams.
Mike Chang: what about Israel?
Finn Hudson: you came back to your senses.
Rachel Berry: I fully understand. All Jacob does is ask you for your bra. And panties. And asked me to take intimate pics of myself. And I never even went out with him!
Leory Berry: Who is this Jacob Kid? Because I will sue him!
Rachel Berry: Dad, it's an inside joke between Brittany and I. And they're playing Friends Reruns on tv now, you know.
Leory Berry: But remember of the power of the lawsuit!
Santana Lopez is now single.
Noah Puckerman is now single.
Noah Puckerman: You can't just break up with people for no reason, Satan.
Santana Lopez: I really am sorry…I had my reasons
Mercedes Jones: What are your "reasons". Did Puck go on and on about Super Mario Bros for hours and HOURS?
Santana Lopez: Surprisingly, no. Puck actually didn't do anything wrong.
Jacob Ben Israel: She broke up with Puck to be with me. ;)
Mercedes Jones: I would rather jump off a cliff than be with you. And Santana loathes you. And stop staring at her chest.
Santana Lopez: *high-fives Mercedes*
Sam Evans-Finn Hudson: Dude! Football practice was insane. The Beast made me run 20 laps for being 5 minutes late.
Finn Hudson: I know. And ALL THOSE PUSH UPS…
Kurt Hummel: Even with those exercises, you are still So uncoordinated.
Puck Puckerman: party last night at satan's was the bomb!
Rachel Berry: heck yeah! remember when I used to "hate" parties? lol
Santana Lopez made this chat only viewable to New Directions.
Artie Abrams: My parents grounded me for a week after seeing those pictures, dude.
Puck Puckerman: My mom asked me if I was gay. That's what spin the bottle does to people…
Brittany S Pierce: I kissed everybody yeahhh! Even Kurtie because I like kissing his armpits.
Finn Hudson: okayyy thank cheesus satan privated this.
Santana Lopez: fine, I kind of have a confession to tell you guys. that's why I private this. but you CAN'T tell anybody. and brittany's making me do this…
Mercedes Jones: SPILL, girl!
Rachel Berry: your secrets are safe.
Brittany S Pierce: come onnn! and lord tubbington needs to stop smoking.
Mr. Schuester: Santana, what is told in Glee Club, stays in Glee.
Finn Hudson: are you pregnant?
Santana Lopez: Fine. It's REALLY awkward to "come out" here though, but I'm gay.
Finn Hudson: it's quite obvious. you and Brittany made out on our "breadstix date".
Mike Chang: You and Brittany made out on our "breadstix date" too.
Puck Puckerman: Same. But they let me join too ;)
Quinn Fabray: Say "glee" if you saw this coming.
Quinn Fabray: glee
Mike Chang: glee
Puck Puckerman: glee
Finn Hudson: glee
Mercedes Jones: glee
Tina Cohen-Chang: Glee. Remember when Brittany said," Sex is not dating. if it were, Santana and I would be dating."
Kurt Hummel: OMGLEE, I remember that!
Santana Lopez: so everybody knew anyway. tell anybody, I go ALL LIMA HEIGHTS on you.
Artie Abrams: Brittany, PM me.
Brittany Pierce: what does PM mean? is it a typo for PMS?
Tina Cohen-Chang: GOD NO, Brittany.
Artie Abrams: just meet me at my locker tomorrow.
Brittany Pierce is now single.
Artie Abrams is now single.
4 people like this.
Santana Lopez: No matter what he says, you're not stupid. You're part of the Brainiacs and helped them win. And you know more about cats than anybody else.
Brittany Pierce: Thanks. But I'm a sad little panda though…
Santana Lopez: Are u still going to prom with Artie?
Brittany Pierce: No. He really hurt me. And thanks for singing Songbird to me. We should go 2 prom together.
Santana Lopez: We both know what happened to Kurt…
Brittany Pierce: But honey, you can slash them with your vicious, vicious words.
Santana Lopez:…or go ALL lima heights on them.
Brittany Pierce: no seriously. I'll ask you to prom on fondue for two. all you have to say is yes3
Santana Lopez: Brittany…when did you get so smart?
Brittany Pierce: Pleaseee
Santana Lopez: um
Brittany Pierce: or else lord tubbington said he's going to smoke
Santana Lopez: oh, fine.
Brittany Pierce: YAY! 3
Santana Lopez is now in a relationship with Brittany Pierce.
Brittany Pierce is now in a relationship with Santana Lopez.
Kurt Hummel and 12 others like this.
Santana Lopez: 10 people asked me to join the golf team.
Kurt Hummel: trust me, it gets better. well I hope so.
Quinn Fabray: well did you go lima heights on them?
Rachel Berry: congrats! :D
Artie Abrams: I can't help but to write dislike.
Blaine Anderson: It's not so bad as long as you're with the one you love3
Rachel Berry: Hey guys, just to clear up that I AM NOT PREGNANT! I actually thought I was pregnant with *cough* Puck, so I took a test.
Finn Hudson: Puck, what is with you and trying to get girls pregnant-SERIOUSLY.
Kurt Hummel: Finn…he was drunk on about a thousand wine coolers, but he surprisingly did use protection.
Quinn Fabray: Getting a girl teen pregnant once is MORE THAN ENOUGH.
Santana Lopez and 54 others like this.
Santana Lopez: I don't know how Kurt Hummel, Blaine Anderson, and Brittany Pierce are going through ALL THE FREAKING SLUSHY FACIALS. Will go Lima Heights on Dave Karofsky-NOW.
120 people like this.
Brittany Pierce: Again, why was there dirt in my locker?
Santana Lopez: karofsky or sue stuffed it in there. cuz' they SUCK.
Brittany Pierce: what do they suck? BLOOD? like vampires?
Santana Lopez: no, Brittany. they just are not cool.
Brittany Pierce: oh.
Finn Hudson: Did Santana teach you everything you know…
Brittany Pierce: NO! LORD TUBBINGTON DID! He even taught me how to multiply decimals.
Finn Hudson: SERIOUSLY! get him to teach me!
Santana Lopez: Finn, Brittany, cats can't teach math.
Finn Hudson: Oh
Brittany Pierce: YES THEY CAN SANTANA. and stop feeding him cigarettes.
Santana Lopez: Cats don't smoke :/
Jacob Ben Israel: Finn doesn't really love you…I do!
Rachel Berry: Jacob, for the millionth time. I don't like you. Go AWAY! You are spamming my personal inbox, and you NEED to stop before I report you.
Finn Hudson: No offense, but You need to stop obsessing over Rachel. PLEASE.
14 people like this.
Jacob Ben Israel: But my charm will woo Rachel eventually…you'll see.
Sue Sylvester: Jacob, delete your facebook before I file a lawsuit. And the butt sweat stain still freaks me out.
Carole Hudson-Hummel: Kurt taught me how to make a facebook! :D
Finn Hudson: um, doesn't sound like something he would do. or I would do.
Kurt Hummel: because if I taught her how to make a facebook, she would take me shopping.
Finn Hudson: HAH! I won the bet. You owe me fifty, bro. I didn't do ANY video games at my house at all!
Sam Evans: you just did it at mine.
Kurt Hummel: FINE. we both lose, let's just call off this bet.
Finn Hudson: WHAT? But I need the new Super Mario game!
Burt Hummel: Finn, take a break from the Xbox.
Kurt Hummel: Dad has a point.
Burt Hummel: And Kurt, stop spending ALL of your money on clothes and skincare products.
Kurt Hummel: DAD!
Mercedes Jones: I understand. :D
Mike Chang is now single.
Tina Cohen-Chang is now single.
Mercedes Jones: What happened to you girl? You guys seemed so freaking happy!
Tina Cohen-Chang: Mike blew off 5 of my dates. And he flirts with other Cheerios.
Mike Chang: Tina! You were playing Angry Birds when we make out that day.
Tina Cohen-Chang: Just once! You can't resist those green pigs…you try!
Mercedes Jones: Guys…you fight about the stupidest things ever. Just get back together and stop blowin' up mah notifications!
Jacob Ben Israel: Hey Kurt, let's go SHOPPING! And girl gossip. WANKY WANKY
Kurt Hummel: I would rather play Black Ops with Finn and give away my burberry scarf collection than be caught dead with you, Jacob.
Blaine Anderson: Jacob seems like a pervert…sorry Jacob.
Jacob Ben Israel: it's ok, just give me the scoop about kissing guys Blaineyyy!
Blaine Anderson: AWKWARD.
Finn Hudson: Jacob I reported you and for reason "creeper"
Kurt Hummel: Finn, I doubt that's a valid reason…but Oh So True!
Santana Lopez: Detention with Karofsky for going lima heights on him. greattt.
Brittany Pierce: yay!
Sam Evans: Santana doesn't seem in a yay mood…but Karofsky is so hard to "go lima heights" on. I tried. And ended up with a black eye.
Santana Lopez: I actually have sympathy for trouty.
Brittany Pierce: why no yay? did lord tubbington bite you?
Santana Lopez: tired of letting my reputation slip.
Brittany Pierce: what slip? like the dress?
Santana Lopez: NO Brittany, like I'm tired of people throwing slushies at me and calling us names when we hold hands.
Sam Evans: Brittana brings out the best in Brittany-Santana happens to teach her most of the things she knows.
41 people like this.
Brittany Pierce: I say "thank you" when I get slushied, because if the slushie landed in my mouth, I can eat it.
Kurt Hummel likes this.
Santana Lopez: well that's an..interesting way to see things, Brit Brit=)