Chapter II | The Hurt That Follows

"Wait—Christian. What do you mean you have to go? You have the fight tomorrow!" Kieran moved to sit up when Brendan pulled himself out of the bed and started pulling his clothes on without a word. So the ginger followed and moved over, grabbing his wrist to stop him. "Talk to me! Christian!"

"Will you stop! I just have to go! My—" Brendan hesitated on the excuse he wanted to tell Kieran. He couldn't tell him the Ste was his ex. There was no way he could tell him that or when he came back from making sure Steven was okay, Kieran would be gone. "He's my brother. Half-brother—They said he overdosed on cocaine, I have to go check on him."

Bren's eyes hit the floor as Kieran stared at him, worried he would see through the lie. But Kieran just smiled at him softly, taking his face and giving him a kiss. "Okay. Let me come with you?" The dark haired Irishman opened his mouth like he was going to say something but then closed it and shook his head.

"He'll be scared enough without strangers there. It's best I just go. I'll be back in time for the fight don't worry."

Another nod came from the ginger as he kissed Brendan again, pressing his forehead against his. "I love you Christian Connolly." He whispered with a small grin. The words made Brendan's heart ache. Kieran really did love him. And here he was lying to him. He deserved better.

"I love you too Kieran Collie. I'll be home before the fight. If not, I'll see you at the ring."

Kieran gave him one last nod before pulling away from him, grabbing his phone, wallet and keys. Brendan stopped at the door, giving Kieran one last glance before he slipped out of the hotel room and down to his car.

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Pulling in, Bren parked his car quickly. He had to take a moment and tell himself that he was okay before opening the care door and getting out of the car. He shoved all his stuff in his pockets and readjusted his beanie as he walked in. Brendan looked around the hospital, feeling uneasy as he looked around at everything.

He took a moment and shook out his hands, they were still shaking, before he went over to the nurse's station and leaned over the desk. "I'm looking for Steven Hay? I got a call he was here."

The nurse looked over his fuzzy face and nodded to him as she typed something into the computer. "Brendan Brad—Oh wait—you must be Christian Connolly right?" She asked looking up at him.

"Uh yeah—Brendan was my step-brother. I was good friends with Steven before he died." The only upside to being a sociopath was how good he was at lying. It didn't take much and it was so easy to be convincing especially because he knew he was good looking. Charm. Charm is what wins people over.

"Right, he is on the third floor, room 221. Might be sleeping but your welcomed to sit with him and talk with the doctor."

Brendan let out a soft sigh and nodded to her, patting the desk. "Thank you." Turning the Irishman got in the lift and went to the floor he was told to. He felt all turned around but after what seemed like he was looking forever he found the room and went inside, shutting the door behind him.

Ste was sleeping, quiet and calm. He had a lot more facial hair than usual so it was evident that he hadn't been taking care of himself. Swallowing hard the brunet walked over and pulled the chair up, stopping to lean over and kiss his forehead. "Bloody fool." He mumbled before sitting down.

Taking his hand he stared at it for a long time. Brendan fiddled with his fingers and kissed them. He was somewhere between desperately wanting him to wake up and not.

When the door clicked he released Ste's hand and looked over, sighing at the sigh of the doctor. He stood and held out his hand.

"Christian I assume?"

Brendan nodded to him and gave his hand a shake before shoving his hands into his pockets. "Yeah, do you know what happened? Is he going to be okay?"

The doctor nodded to him, "Eventually, though we think that it's very important Mister Hay seek treatment for his addiction. He was very close to dying if his friend wouldn't have brought him in."

"Friend?"

"Mmn. Young woman named—" He stopped and lifted the papers to see who it was before shrugging his shoulders a little. "I don't know, dark haired girl."

Bren let out an exhale that he had been holding in. At least he knew it wasn't Amy. "Alright. Any word from Amy Barnes or his kids?" He asked just wanting to be sure that she wasn't around.

"You—well Brendan Brady was his emergency contact. But the forwarding message said to call you instead."

He nodded a little to him. "Yeah— well uh— let us know before you call t'em, eh? We don't get on well."

The doctor nodded and smiled at him, "Very well. Are you just going to stay with him? You'll let me know if he wakes up won't you?"

Brendan nodded and moved back to his chair. "I will, t'ank ya doctor." He murmured as he watched the doctor leave the room. Brendan sat down and looked him over. "Steven. You need to wake up." He whispered as he leaned down and pressed a kiss to his hand.

They sat quietly for a long time. Brendan was almost sleeping when his phone started to buzz making him groan as he pulled his hand away and reached for his phone.

[ To: Christian

Hey baby, how's your brother? He going to be okay?

Xoxo

Kier ]

Brendan sighed a little. Kier was probably just getting up for the day. He hadn't noticed that the sun was even up yet. Quickly he sent a message back.

[ To: Kieran

He hasn't woken up yet. Going to see if I can stay until he does. We'll see soon eh? Doctor said he should be fine eventually.

Xoxo

Christian ]

He moved his hand and gently placed the phone down on the side table only to turn and see Steven staring at him with wide blue eyes.

"Brendan."

The Irishman thought his heart was going to stop in that moment as he stared back at his old lover. Breath completely caught in his chest as he waited for him to scream or something at him. But it never came. He just—stared. Like he had seen a ghost, albeit, Brendan had been pronounced dead, yet here he sat. Fuzzy, longer hair, more muscular than before. But it was still Brendan, even if he fooled the doctors and nurses there was no fooling Ste.

"Don't go away." He whispered to him and reached his hand out for his. "I miss these dreams."

Brendan still couldn't breathe, but he looked down and raised his shaking hand and placed it in Steven's, giving him a weak squeeze. "I—erm—"

What did he even say to him? What could he say? His stomach was in a giant knot and it was making him sick.

"I'm sorry, Steven."

"No—shh dream Brendan. I don't want to wake up, don't make me wake up." He was almost begging to him, and it was breaking his heart, piece by piece. "When you say sorry, you leave. Don't leave."

"Steven." He sighed and leaned forward, gripping his hand with both of his. "I'm not going away. And I'm not a dream, I'm here, really here. I'm not—why the hell did you do this Ste? I just—cocaine?"

"Because I wanted to die. Be with you. I'm weak." He whispered to him. "I'm weak and I missed you. You were my everything and you went away. And then my mum—and then D-Doug—" He whispered to him. "Everything I love goes away. Just give me this little bit of time with you before you away again."

Brendan stood and moved, taking his face in his hands and pressing his lips against his. Hard, desperate. He wanted him to know he was real. Wanted him to now he was really there.

When they parted he pressed his forehead to his and sighed. "I'm sorry—"

"Sorry you're dead?"

"Sorry that I'm still hurting you. Even when I think I'm doing the right t'ing by leaving you, I just hurt you more and I'm so sorry."

Ste blinked and tilted his head to the side, gently touching his face, running his fingers through his beard. "Brendan—you really are here, aren't you? You're not a ghost?"

He shook his head and opened his eyes to look him over. "No, I'm not."

Tears started to burn Steven's eyes as he wrapped his arms around Brendan's neck, chocking on a sob. "Oh my God."

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"Okay—I'm going to get your doctor because he has to check you over, remember what I said—"

"You're name is Christian Connolly. I got it. Promise you'll explain everything to me after he's done?" Ste asked from the bed where he was now sitting up a bit more.

Brendan smiled and nodded to him. "Promise. I'll tell you as much as I can before I have to go." He turned and walked out of the room waving down the doctor. He came in and they chatted quietly as Bren texted on his phone, until his name was said then he looked up.

"He'll have to stay here one more day, and then you can bring him home alright? You're going to be able to take care of him correct?"

He swallowed hard and nodded to him lightly. "Yeah—I—yeah no problem." He whispered to him as he looked over at Ste, once the doctor left, Brendan was able to exhale softly.

"So—"

He looked up again and nodded to him. "Well—I couldn't go back to jail, you know that, or I really would be dead. Warren would make sure of that. So when I woke up— I just took off. I didn't know what else to do, and I wanted to tell you but, it was better you didn't know. Or I thought it would be." He sighed again and lowered his head. "Did I mention I was sorry?"

"A few times, you can stop saying it now."

He laughed a little and leaned over to kiss him softly. Ste kissed him back without hesitation. They only stopped when Brendan's phone went off again. He sighed a little and pulled away from him, leaning over to get it.

[ To: Christian

Match is in an hour! Hope you got some sleep babe! Can't wait to see you win! I love you.

Xoxo

Keir ]

"Boyfriend?"

"Nah, Coach. I've got to head out, my match is in an hour, but I'll be back as soon as I can, okay?"

Ste smiled at him and nodded lightly as he leaned over and pressed a kiss to his lips, Brendan couldn't help but linger, he wanted more but he couldn't, he had to go. "Oh… I still love you so much." The younger man whispered as he looked up at Brendan, soothing his cheek.

"I still love you too." He pressed a kiss to his head. "I'll see you tonight."

"See you."

[To: Kieran

On my way. Love you too.

Christian ]

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Brendan ran into the locker room and panted as he worked to get ready. Kieran was wrapping his hands and pulling on his gloves as his coach tied his shoes and shoved the mouth guard in.

He rushed to the door and Kieran grabbed his wrist, yanking him back and kissing him hard. It gained a moan from the older man as he brought his gloved hand up and held the back of his head.

"Praiseach air suas go maith, leanbh."*

"Offta. I love when ya talk dirty."

"Shuddup." He laughed and shoved him. "You got this baby!"

Brendan waved a glove at him as he moved and climbed into the ring. He was already pumped. The kiss from Kieran, and the kisses from Ste earlier. God it had been good to see him again. But how was that going to work now?

He couldn't hurt Kieran like that after all he did to help him, but—he wanted Ste back. He loved him so much more than anything.

Brendan shook his head when the bell rang. He moved out into the ring and fist bumped the other man before the punched started flying. He could hear Kieran cheering for him next to the ring. But he was so distracted. The only thing he could think about was getting back to Ste.

The hit to his face made Brendan tumble backwards into the group with a grunt. There was that fiery temper coming out. He pushed himself up and started throwing hits at the other guy. He brought his hand up and smashed it into his opponent's, feeling a the bones all shatter at once.

The Irishman wheeled back and gripped his hand to his chest after letting out a cry. His hand was broken.

"Christian! Look out!"

He looked up just in time for the other boxer to slam his fist into his jaw, sending Brendan to the ground with a hard thud. He tried to keep his eyes open, listening as the ref counted to six when the bell was rang that something had happened. He looked up and saw Kieran hovering over him. He was mouthing his name, trying to get him to talk, but Brendan's eyes shut and he passed out.

[[ *= "Mess him up good, baby" Irish ]]