Chapter 2 is here, and posted sooner than I thought it would.
This is the last chapter of this 2-shot, but the overarching story and series is far from over!
The Tasercakes series lives on!
Anyway, without further ado, enjoy this chapter :D
edit: 30/8/12, some minor edits were made
"So, uh is this like an internship thing or an 'internship' thing?" Peter asks, complete with air quotes, as they walk along the empty halls after Darcy convinces him to bail on his last period.
"Nah, nothing superhero-y or anything, the old man just wants you to help test this new project he's working on," Darcy says casually.
"Cool," he beam enthusiastically, stopping at his locker.
After the incident with Toomes, Tony made Peter's internship real and official as a means of actually giving Peter a solid alibi, as well as actually enjoying the teen's company and input on projects.
Despite Stark Industries having interns scattered throughout most of their departments, Peter is well-known for being the only one who works personally with Tony Stark himself. Well, Peter and Darcy. Darcy, whom - according to public knowledge - came as part of a package deal with Jane Foster, the physicist having been brought into the fold of Stark Industries, where her research could benefit from the resources and funding provided.
And though Tony would have given Jane all the funding and resources simply because Darcy asked, he actually found her research and applied practical methods intriguing, and had even collaborated on several projects with the physicist. Plus, Jane was one of the few people who knew the truth about Darcy and Max being Stark blood.
Darcy is pulled from her thoughts by Peter fidgeting uncomfortably. "Ok, seriously what the hell is going on with your pants?"
Peter grips one of his pants pockets, holding it up as the other side droops down, revealing the slightest peak of his underwear. He's been walking awkwardly ever since they left the library, and Darcy can't pretend not to notice any longer.
"Please don't tell me you're picking up that whole droopy pants look, you know the one were half your ass is poking out the top, because let me tell you, that doesn't look cool," she punctuates her statement with a light poke to the chest.
"What? No that's not what's happening here," Peter assures as he opens his locker, his voice suddenly quietening as he mumbles out his next few words.
"Sorry, what was that? I couldn't hear you with your head jammed in there."
Retreating back from his locker, Peter shoots her a sheepish look. "Someone stole my belt when I was in Gym class."
Darcy stares back at him incredulously. "…W-What!? Who the fuck steals a belt?" she asks as Peter shoves his books in his locker before closing it once more.
"I don't know, all I know is I came back out and it was gone."
Darcy shook her head. "You know if you really want to screw someone over, you take all of their clothes, that is the way to go," she muses as they head toward the exit. "Just the belt... actually, if you're going for irritation factor instead of humiliation, just the belt is pretty clever
"You sound like you've had firsthand experience with this?" he asks.
Darcy shrugs. "Eh, some jock types were harassing my friend's and my at-the-time girlfriend during my first year at Culver, so I stole all their clothes and set them on fire," she winks.
Peter blanches.
Darcy catches the expression and laughs. "Lit their clothes on fire, not them. Wasn't caught either. And those guys ended up streaking all the way across campus... boy where they in trouble," she chuckles. "Plus another friend and I had rigged the team showers with a time-delayed pigment dye he developed, so by the time these assholes were streaking across campus each one was a different color of the rainbow. And it didn't fade off their skin for weeks," she grins wickedly and pats him on the shoulder. "I'm sure you'll have a ton of fun when you go to college."
Peter gapes. "That's fun?"
"Yeah, pranking those who deserve it is always fun. In some more severe cases, straight up getting back at people is better. Like when I dealt with Flash last time I was here," she remarks casually.
"You tazed him!" Peter exclaims.
Darcy merely rolls her eyes. "Oh please, it was only a small shock from my remote Taser discs; I didn't do any real damage. Plus he doesn't know who did it, or what 'it' was for that matter."
"Still, I mean isn't there some kind of moral or ethical thing about tazing high school students?"
"Oh come on Petey," Darcy protests, "that guy is a douche. Plus if I recall correctly, you stole his car."
"It was his dad's car, and that's different. It was an emergency, and it was more like... I commandeered the car for the greater good," Peter rationalizes before he loses his grip on his pants and he finds himself lying flat on the cold, hard floor of the hallway.
"Pffttt," Darcy scoffs, trying to supress a laugh at how quickly Peter fell, as well as the fact that he accidentally pantsed himself, the long dark green pants around his knees hindering his efforts to push himself back to his feet.
When he finally manages it, with absolutely no help from Darcy, a voice calls out suddenly, catching both he and Darcy by surprise.
"Really, Loser?"
Peter almost trips again when he spins toward the voice.
"Are those...cartoon tigers?" Michelle Jones tilts her head slightly at the designs etched across Peter's underwear, still on full display.
Peter finally manages to yank his pants up once more, cheeks flaming.
Peter began to try and explain,"M-MJ I-I uh-"
"Wait," Darcy drawls out slowly, her eyes narrowing as a small smile forms on her lips. "MJ, as in the famous Michelle Jones?" She rests a hand on Peter's shoulder. "You know, I've heard so much about you from Peter."
Michelle raises a brow questionably at Peter.
Peter chuckles nervously. "Well s-she works at Stark Industries, and I kinda- I mean you know I may have mentioned you in conversation-with the decathlon team in general, and Ned and..."
Michelle watches in clear amusement as he struggles to explain.
"You know, we have so much to discuss," Darcy eyes Michelle speculatively.
Peter holds his pants up with on hand and steers Darcy toward the exit with the other. "No no no no no! We-We really gotta go, there's a ton of important Stark Industries…intern stuff that has to be done, you know and it would be cool to stay and chat but we just can't and I'll see you tomorrow MJ!"
Darcy's Beetle is idling in a traffic jam when Peter finally loses it.
"Whyyyyyy?!" Peter groans as he stares at the roof of the car.
"Pffttt, come on Petey don't get your droopy pants in a twist. I had a little fun in front of your girlfriend, so what?"
"She's-She's not my girlfriend," Peter turns to her with a wide eyed look. "She's a friend definitely, and she's a girl, but not like a 'girlfriend-girlfriend' we're just…just…you know-"
"Friends?" Darcy says sarcastically, giving him a look of amusement.
"Yeah, I mean she's just like Ned."
Darcy scoffs. "Wow, really know how to turn on the flattery there, don't you? Come on, kid, you've mentioned her like a million times both at Stark Industries, and in texts, and when we hang out. 'Oh you should have seen how quickly Michelle answered these questions in our rapid fire quiz round' or how about 'MJ's going protesting this weekend, I think it's great how passionate she is about a cause' I mean everyone already knows you like her, however big or small those feelings are, they're obviously there."
Traffic finally starts moving again.
"Wait, what do you mean everyone?" Peter turns to her slowly.
"Oh yeah everyone, Max, Dad and Pepper, Happy, heck even Vision had listed the probability of you and Michelle. Oh, and Caroline is totally ships it."
"Not Caroline!" Peter exclaims with a slight whine, his head falling back on the headrest.
It's not that he doesn't like the former heiress, but she's a bit…gossipy. Not to mention how their first meeting went...
Peter was in Tony's New York penthouse, looking over a holographic table with various plans and schematics.
Despite Tony having moved the Avenger's facility upstate, he still had more than one New York residence to his name, as well as an Armory.
"This is amazing Mr Stark, so you'll actually have this up and running soon?"
"Hopefully, I'm kind of busy right now, but yeah it's in the works."
"That is so awesome! It's like bleeding edge level tech Mr Stark"
"Tony, we're back," Pepper's voice called from down the hall.
Tony scrambled to close out the screen. "Not a word, kid." He raises his voice, "Great, we were wondering what was taking so long" Tony said before giving Peter a look to keep quiet.
A few minutes passed before Max entered the living room.
"If you two can stop nerd-gasming for five seconds, I brought ice cream," Max said plopping down on the couch and placing two bowls down on the table before she was handed her own bowl from Darcy.
"So, have we picked out a movie yet, or did you two spend all that time looking at that project that Tony doesn't think I know about?" Pepper asked with a small smile that made Peter squirm nervously.
"I-Uh, I don't know what-" Peter began before Tony silenced him a pat on the shoulder.
"Save it Pete, the jig is up. Pepper always finds out."
Pepper smiled.
"Well, most of the time, though I do recall catching you by surprise once or twice," Tony winked.
"Less suggestive flirting and more movies!" Darcy demanded, shoveling a huge scoop of ice cream into her mouth.
"Well I narrowed the choices down to a few", Tony acquiesced before the sounds of a closing door and a voice drifted down the hall.
"Look, I understand there were unexpected complications, but you need to understand that the grand opening of our tenth Swiss location is an important event, and I can't have any delays. So you either fix it, or I'll find someone who can!" Caroline proclaimed as she came into view, holding several bags and disconnecting her call before she began rapidly texting.
"So sorry I'm late everyone, you wouldn't believe what happened." She said still not looking up from her phone. "But hey Max, what was it you wanted to tell-" she paused as she looked up at the group sitting on the couch. More specifically the teenage boy sitting between Max and Darcy and Pepper and Tony.
"Hi, I don't think we've met, I'm Peter," he offered and moved to stand up offering a hand to shake.
Caroline just gaped at him, phone slack in her hand, until she finally narrowed her gaze at Tony. "…You had another one!"
Darcy laughs when Peter shares the memory responsible for his zone out. "That was definitely an interesting little conversation."
"Except the part where you and Max decided to go along with it and say I was another one of Mr Stark's illegitimate children and that he abandoned me due to him being a huge jerk pre-Iron Man. And Caroline took you seriously and slapped him across the face and almost went nuts!"
"No, that was pretty cool too," Darcy grins.
They spend several minutes debating the finer points of the definition of 'great' before drifting into a comfortable silence. They pass a storefront flying a British flag and Peter meekly asks about what happened in London, during the Dark Elf invasion.
He's heard about it from Max, but hadn't asked Darcy about it personally before. Clearly, he didn't need to worry about how she would take the question, because she borderline manic-gleeful about sharing the full account.
"-And yeah everything was good, Thor ended up stopping evil Elrond and saving Earth and a ton of other places. And afterwards me and Ian went out and got 'pissed' as the locals call it, and we fooled around a little afterwards," Darcy adds the last bit casually.
"F-Fooled around," Peter stutters, blushing. "Darcy!"
"Well we didn't have full on sex or anything, but I gave him a handjob and-"
"Augh! No no no no!" Peter exclaims clamping his hands on his ears. "Oh gross, I don't need to hear that! Aaaughh so don't need to hear that."
"Oh please, you're a fifteen year old high school student, no need to act all innocent. Your hormones are going crazy at this age," she teases, not taking her eyes off the road. "You probably spend a large portion of your time, when you're not saving people on the streets, or with school work, or hanging out with my awesome self, jerking off in your bedroom," she grins at him as the hit a red light.
"Please can we not have this conversation?" Peter begs. "I mean you're like my big sister, and-and this is so not the kind of stuff I feel comfortable talking about with you!"
Peter knows his face has to be almost as red as his mask at this point, so he tries to look out the window to distract himself, but the sudden silence catches him off guard, and he turns to see Darcy looking at him, her eyes glistening alarmingly.
Peter panics, instantly thinking he had hurt her feelings in some way. "Darcy I-"
Darcy ripsher seatbelt off and pulls him into a tight hug, wrapping her arms around him and pressing her face into his hair. She hold him for several moments before he's released, Darcy quickly bringing her sleeve up to dry her eyes.
"Sorry…about getting all, you know," she motions to her eyes. "But…that was the first time you…the first time you called me that, and now I'm turning into a sappy mess and everything, and you probably won't think I'm cool anymore," she rambles off as she wipes her eyes more. "These are happy tears, by the way."
It takes Peter's brain a few moments to comprehend what she meant, before he realizes what he said. '-I mean you're like my big sister-' A small smile creeps onto Peter's face as he reaches into his backpack and pulled out a few tissues and hands them to Darcy. "You're still cool."
This got an amused snort from Darcy.
"And just for the record," he continues, this time looking right in her eyes, "you're an awesome big sister."
Darcy feeels herself start to tear up once again at the genuine tone he said it in, before holding her hand out expectantly. "You better hand over all the tissues, saying sappy crap like," she demands, though her tone holds no heat in it at all, causing Peter to smile before handing her a few more.
A horn blows from behind them, breaking the moment. Darcy jumps high enough to bang her head on the ceiling, flips the driver behind them the bird, and floors it through the now green light, contorting back into her seat belt as she goes.
"Darcy!" Peter groans with embarrassment.
Darcy smirks at him. "Hey, he interrupted our moment. He's lucky I didn't use any of Betsy's special features on him," she pats the Beetle's dash fondly.
Tony had made more than one modification to the car over the years, and even Darcy didn't know what all it was capable of.
While Peter hasn't witnessed any of the modifications first hand, he has worked with Tony, so he can imagine. Besides, Darcy has described her car as being more awesome than Speed Racer's and Inspector Gadget's cars rolled into one, which makes the teenager wonder exactly what the seemingly unassuming car can do.
As they near the end of their commute, a sudden thought comes to Peter, regarding their earlier conversation. "So, um if you don't mind me asking, whatever happened with you and Ian?"
"Eh, it didn't really last. Don't get me wrong, Ian's a nice guy and we had a few dates and everything, but we didn't really click I guess. But we're still friend's and whenever I'm in London we go and catch up." Darcy pulls into the private parking garage. "Besides, I'm not too worried, 'cause I got the most adorable cutie pie in the world right here!" She pinches his cheeks fondly.
"Auuhhh! No! No! No!"
"What?"
"I know where those hands have been!" he exclaims, recalling her earlier comments about Ian.
"Don't be a baby!" She cackles before engulfing Peter in another hug, this time deliberately pressing his head into her chest.
"Mpphhh!" Peter's protests are muffled by Darcy's breasts as she laughs.
"There is no escaping my boob smother," she informs him as she releases him.
Peter, once again blushing furiously, can't seem to form a complete sentence without jumbling up all the words.
Darcy steps out of the car. "Come on, kid."
"Darcy you can't just-I mean that's, why are you-"
"So embarrassing?" She offers with a smirk, wrapping an arm around the still flustered teen as they walk. "Well that's kind of my job description. As your big sister and all, it is my duty to embarrass you at every turn!" She jostles his shoulder gently. "Plus you better strap yourself in, because if you think I'm bad, you are not prepared for Max to get in on this."
"Oh crap…" Peter mutters, eyes wide at the implications.
"Hey now, don't worry. If she gets too bad, I'll set her straight," Darcy soothes. "'Cause even though I am honor-bound by the sibling code, I also gotta look out for you now. That includes if that asshole Flash tries anything again. I shall unleash my sisterly vengeance upon him, and he better pray I don't tell Max, because she'd probably do something far worse."
Peter shudders. Max can be…Max…about things, and there's really no other way to describe it.
"Yeah-I mean sure thing," Peter nods, a warm feeling spreading through his chest despite her basically threatening a classmate. He didn't have any siblings growing up, but it's something he's wondered about over the years... how it would feel.
Seeing Darcy's grin and the feeling of her still having her arm around him makes him smile. It's just as good as he'd imagined.
"Good, cause no one messes with my little brother and gets away with it," Darcy squeezes his shoulders again.
The following school day is rather uneventful. Darcy had taken him shopping for one the day before, insisting on a new belt and pants less likely to fall off without one, and then she had decided to take precautions and ended up buying him nine 'spare' belts to stash in his locker.
"Just in case," she had said, with a wicked smirk.
Peter's sitting in the cafeteria waiting for Ned, nibbling on his sandwich as he skims over his notes for Science when a voice draws his attention.
"Hey."
Looking up from his notes, Peter feels another blush rise to his cheeks. Michelle is standing there, clutching yet another thick book he's sure she'll be reading through later. Memories of the previous day flash through his head, along with a refreshed sense of the utter embarrassment of being caught in his underwear in front of her.
"H-hey Michelle, um w-what are you-"
"I'm just going around letting everyone know that the Decathlon meeting has been moved to one thirty," she says.
Peter nods mutely as she turns and begins walking away from the table.
"Oh, and try not to be late again Tiger," she throws over her shoulder.
"Yeah, sure thing I-" Peter agrees before his eyes widen and he drops his sandwich, his mouth opening slightly as he stares at Michelle's retreating form.
Unseen by him, or anyone else an almost unnoticeable smile etches its way onto Michelle's face as she exits the cafeteria.
"Hey man, sorry I'm late I was held up in helping organise the debate team's-" Ned apologizes as he sits down beside Peter, only to stop as he notices Peter's distraction.
"Uh, you okay, Peter?"
For a few seconds he doesn't answer, merely staring off in the direction MJ had gone, the heat in his cheeks slowly dissipating. "Yeah…Yeah Ned, I'm fine," he turns back to his lunch, his mind focused on one thing.
He can't be late for Decathlon!
...I ship Peter and MJ (aka Spideychelle) so hard!