Riding with Xena

by KM Bard

Gabrielle recounts her relationship with Xena from the start. Within a first person narrative, Gabrielle relays an accurate depiction of how her travels with Xena changed them both. This is the first chapter of thirteen. The story deals with explicit sexual themes between two women.

2. Chapter 2

Part 2

I must have fallen asleep in my unsettled state, because the next thing I saw was the grass drenched in morning dew. I closed my eyes again, disappointed with the happenings the night before. If I had known what awaited me on our long trail west later that afternoon, I wouldn't have complied with the travel when Xena woke me.

The walk was not unlike any other, except for a slight tension that neither of us could fully understand. There was a complicated air around us.

Not a word for miles. Just myself walking alongside Xena on her horse, trying not to focus on my own sadness. I remember thinking 'maybe today will start looking up' and the thought was soon dissolved with terror.

"Don't move!"

That was my proof that I wasn't dreaming - the voice was strange, like the gravel beneath my shoes. He was screaming to Xena while he held my back to his chest - a knife at my throat. This was the first time I had been in such immediate, violent danger, and I could see the deep concern in Xena's eyes.

I remember being happy in that one moment, content in knowing that she did feel something for me at least. And then I was brought back to the situation when he pressed the blade harder to my skin. The metal was cold and the slight pressure hurt the delicate flesh there.

"We've heard of you," one man smirked, but I quickly reverted my attention back to Xena as he spoke. "And as we've watched you, we've seen that you've a weakness."

Xena remained calm, her eyes moving over me for a long moment to settle on the angry traveller behind me. "Oh really."

I could see her phrase frustrated the men by the way the knife was pressed harder, and the way he shouted to her. "We're not kidding, whore!"

"Ooh, whore," Xena said, slipping off her horse to let her feet to the ground all in one quick moment.

Then they had the upper hand. It was so quick I nearly missed it myself.

"This is gonna be mine," the man grinned, slipping his hand over my hip and pressing into my mound from his place behind me. I shivered from the touch, and was immediately disgusted.

I wish I hadn't seemed such a naive innocent, but I couldn't stop from screaming out to her. "Xena!"

"Okay," Xena said firmly, raising her hands in front of her. I couldn't see her because I was struggling against the man behind me who now held both of my arms tightly in his. I saw the third man walk over to me, still keeping one eye on Xena as he contributed.

"Maybe we'll all do the whore," he smirked, seeing what fear was in my eyes. He touched my cheek before I turned my head angrily from him. "Are the breasts to your taste, Xena?"

"Get off of her," Xena spat out, taking a confident, deadly step toward them. She couldn't play careless anymore. They'd angered her in a way which wasn't often possible, and we could all see her rage.

All I could do was close my eyes and slowly squirm in strong hands. I wanted her to save me, but I didn't know how she would. Fear struck me as I thought she might give up - the effort unworthy of my presence - and I'd be left to these perverted travellers. Thankfully, she remained.

I tried to tune out the things they were saying, but I just couldn't.

"I know how you like 'em," the third man chuckled, delivering a hard slap right across my face. I screamed and my legs buckled. The man behind me had to keep my entire weight in his arms. "With a little fight!"

Xena was close now, a seething anger evident in her eyes when I could finally lift my head.

The man laughed, but was cut short when Xena's hand closed around his throat, forcing him backward. "I think I might amputate a certain ... member," she snarled, pressing him up against the tree. She was no longer worried about herself or even my own safety. Her anger had obviously gotten the better of her. And she must have sensed the other men's thoughts as they looked to each other. "Drop the girl where she stands and run. Run before I've broken your legs and gouged your eyes for touching what's mine."

I didn't recognize this Xena. She was darker than the more familiar raven-haired beauty I knew from our day-to-day conversations.

Nonetheless, they did take their hands away from me and ran down the trail. I smoothed my hands over my arms where the man held me, as they were already sore. When I looked up to Xena, I saw a dagger in her hand and a fury in her expression that even I had feared at the time.

"Xena!" the call was soft, but she heard me. She didn't turn her attention from the man, but she halted her actions. "Xena ... please don't kill him."

There was confusion and a large majority of anger still running through her. "Don't? ... Give me one good reason."

I thought of how to explain that I believed in proper justice, and not such unnecessary violence, but there was no time for that. "Because I wish it."

The look on the man's face appeared almost obnoxiously content, but it didn't stay for long. She released him only to bring his back to her chest, and snap his neck in one, fluid motion. She dropped him instantly, and simply stepped over his lifeless corpse.

My mouth fell open at what she had just done. I felt upset, disappointed, disgusted, and betrayed. I thought she had understood how much life meant to me. I turned away so I wouldn't be sick at what I had just witnessed. A man had just been killed before me.

In all my frustration, I still followed Xena to Argo, and back down the trail. Now I was truly upset. Why did everybody treat me like a defenseless girl? Why did everyone seek me out and feed off of my fear? That was when I needed to ask another question, looking up to the confident woman riding horseback. "Xena?" There was no response, but I didn't wait for one. "Can you teach me how to stop being afraid?"

Argo stopped, and I could see that it was from the small tug of Xena's wrist. I paused too, looking up at the mild confusion in her expression. That look in her eyes told me it wasn't something she wanted to teach me - that her world was too dark and scathing for me to want to experience.

"Xena ... I don't wanna be afraid all the time. I don't like it that everyone sees this innocent girl, and they all think they can pick on me."

She looked down to me in a way that told me she understood my predicament. "Gabrielle, you know I'm here."

I didn't know if I could speak my concern for the duration of her protection over me, so I kept quiet and brought my eyes back down to the road. "Okay."

Once we had set up around a small clearing, she took sudden hold of my slimmer, weaker wrist, and then held onto me by my shirt. I gasped and panicked all at once, trying to struggle away. It was so rough and surprising. For a moment, I was worried that she had found herself in another very violent frenzy - and excited too, I must admit - but her real purpose quickly became apparent.

She spun me around and held my back to her chest, whispering to me with instruction. "That fear you just felt ... it'll do you no good. You can't react that way, Gabrielle. Show them no fear."

Once she released me, I was breathless, but I understood her purpose then. I could only nod as my heart raced.

She looked me over and walked around me while I stood, just staring ahead. I knew she would want the element of surprise, and I wanted to give it to her. After all, I wished to learn.

Her violent touch concerned me again, but this time I pushed down all of my fear and forced a sort of confidence in myself that I hadn't felt before. I still have no idea how I grasped it so suddenly, but as she pulled me in with force, I kept my focus. I was aware of her hold on me, and my own stance, so I just waited as she breathed onto my ear. I was so focused I wasn't even aware of the sexual tension.

"Aren't you going to scream?" she whispered to me, bringing her free hand up to my neck. The gesture wasn't lost on me, but I was too determined to be weakened by it. I would show her I could do this. I was strong.

I kept my eyes opened and willed my racing heart to rest while I planned some sort of escape. I thought of what I would say if I had truly found myself in the situation, speaking as calmly as I could with her hand closed over my throat. "What's the use of that? ... No one would hear me."

The chill she felt shook through me when she shivered, and I couldn't help but smile. Did this mean she was proud? Had I affected the warrior herself? I couldn't help the satisfaction from seeping in. But just as I was celebrating to myself, she released me, distancing herself. "Good. Lesson learned." And with that, she was off.

When I heard gagging, I wondered how deeply it really had affected her, and became worried. Had it been such torture for her to imagine such a scenario - some strange man holding me captive in solitude, leaving me no logical reason to so much as scream? Surely she didn't care about me as strongly as it seemed to me? Either way, it appeared that she didn't like that lesson.

When she made her way back, I only opened my eyes as I laid on my bedroll before I felt her slipping in behind me. Holding me.

"Are you awake?" she asked quietly, her cold armour against my back. I didn't have the heart to worry her or make herself conscious, so I closed my eyes and just steadied my breathing as she finally calmed herself. I liked the protective nature that had come over her, and I slept easily in the warmth of her arms.

The morning offered warmth, and it was incredibly early, as we had fallen asleep so early the last evening. It had hardly been dark, but we both needed the comfort, and as soon as my eyes were opened, I noticed the distinct lack of her presence. Shifting around a bit, I looked for her familiar face, or even some show of her company, but I couldn't find a thing. I feared for a moment that she had abandoned me.

"You have looks, you know."

I blinked opened my eyes and sat up, looking to the direction of Xena's voice. Had she just said what I thought I heard? I was surprised and speechless. Completely speechless.

When she walked toward me from a narrow path in another area, she was holding a shift in her hands. It was relatively white, and far too big for my frame, but I looked on with appreciation. It looked as though she was offering it to me as she continued. "I figured you might like this, and ... maybe ... you won't be bothered so much with something to ..." she cleared her throat, seeming to admire the garment. "Cover you."

I still have no idea where she got the material - most likely bought off a passing traveller, I suppose - but I got up and walked over to her, smiling. "Xena ... it's ... beautiful." I couldn't act as indifferent as she so often did, and took another step to wrap my arms around her. It was a warm and comforting hug, my smile on her breast plate. "Thank you."

Xena accepted the hug with some discomfort, finally pulling back to see the excitement in my eyes. With great care, I lifted it over my head and brought it over my torso, admiring it as the fashion I felt it was. She had given me something - was this a confession of friendship between us? Something more? I locked eyes with her expectantly.

"Yeah ... well ... enjoy it," was all she could think to say, turning away from me and packing up her hunting tools to take them with her so she could catch something to eat.

I followed her over with a smile, just looking down at her. "Xena? ... Does this mean ..."

"It doesn't mean anything."

I watched as she got to her feet and walked over to Argo, her mind focused on the task at hand. Disappointment was inevitable, as I had hoped she would sweep me off my feet and whisper sweet nothings into my ear, but I couldn't help but smile. Xena had given me a gift. Then I frowned - I didn't have anything to give to her. No money for a gift anyway.

"Xena ..."

The look she threw me said that she didn't expect anything - she didn't even want anything. She held my stare until she was confident I understood, and then she headed off.

"I'm going hunting."

It was a phrase she often uttered, and I smiled at her kindness. Xena was the kindest person I'd ever met.

I sat quietly all through breakfast, and walked alongside her as we travelled that afternoon before we came to a nearby town. They were having some troubles, and they pleaded with Xena to help them.

As they were still talking, I saw Xena look down to me, seeing my hopeful smile. I understood at that very moment that I had a real influence on her actions, watching her hold out her hand to them. She accepted because of me. I could see that as plainly as anything, and I was flattered by it. She was so beautiful and capable and kind. Still, I knew she didn't see these qualities in herself.

"We'll stay here for a few days," Xena stated to the small group of townspeople who had approached her, looking around - Xena looking anywhere but back down to me to see my proud smile, I'm sure.

"You can stay at the inn no charge," one man insisted, waving over toward the place. "Please ... just help us. We need all the help we can get!"

Xena was all the help they would need.

"Come on," Xena directed, slipping off of Argo at last to walk the horse toward the inn. I quickly followed her, waving back to the hopeful villagers.

With both of my hands clasped behind my back, and a smile still tugging at my lips, I caught up to Xena's large, steady strides. "We can stay here for a few days then?"

Xena fought terribly hard at holding back her smile. I know that she liked to keep a certain image around others, but I also knew that she wanted to smile, too. For some unknown reason, we both found it very amusing to be offered free stay at a village inn. We were used to sleeping on the ground together. Not in bed.

Certain insinuations kept us smiling until we stepped inside the inn to see that the first floor was not only an eatery, but a pub. The alcohol was abundant, and even I noted that - I smelled it in the air, along with the grubby customers. Most were men, and the stares we received froze me in my place. I wasn't used to that kind of attention.

Xena, however, seemed comforted by the atmosphere. She slapped her hand on my back and headed in, seemingly ignoring my own uncertainty. Still, as shocked as I was, I wanted to prove myself to Xena, so I slowly walked to stand beside her at the old, wooden counter, and laid my hands on its rough, splintered surface.

"No, just port," she said simply, turning to me for a moment and then looking away before she smiled again. She laid down a coin as the drink was handed over to her, and quickly brought it to her contented sigh told me that she hadn't enjoyed one like it in some time. Xena turned around to challenge all the men's stares as she took another large sip, and then I did something that surprised her completely.

"Make it two."

She quickly turned back to me, mid-sip, fighting to keep from spitting it out. It took her a moment to swallow the drink and wipe her mouth with the back of her hand. "Gabrielle?" she asked as a full mug of port was handed over to me.

I raised it and looked uncertainly toward her, almost as if I were asking for permission to try it.

When she saw my uncertainty, her expression warmed, and she clinked her glass with mine. "Not too quickly," she mumbled to me as she paid for mine as well and then found us a table.

That was one of the first times I really got to speak with Xena, and I believe that it was partly because I was drinking with her. I think she was used to talking over drinks, and it was a comfort to her, as silly as I began to feel. I'd never had a full drink of alcohol before that, and with my slight frame, it affected me almost immediately.

When I started to giggle at everything she said, she set down her empty cup and one eyebrow raised to my silly mood. With the subtlest of smiles, she waved down the barmaid, and ordered another two drinks.

"Is one for me?" I asked mischievously, over the rim of my glass, and she chuckled audibly then, leaning back in her seat.

"No."

I giggled again and took another sip of the amber liquid - it was so potent, and it tasted horrible, but I enjoyed my time there with Xena. I would have had five glasses if she'd ordered them for me.

Xena finished all three drinks without appearing affected whatsoever. She did this all before I'd even finished my first, and I remember looking out at her, trying to focus. Was the room spinning? The alcohol was so strong.

"More?" I teased, laughing and wobbling so that I nearly fell off my stool. And seeing how smug she was at my instant intoxication made me all the more excited. I wanted to be alone with her. "Where's my room? ... Our room. Where's OUR room?"

Xena smiled as she leaned forward onto the table, clasping her hands as she just watched me make a fool of myself, I'm sure. Her smile was so enchanting that I visibly swooned. I could feel it happening, but there was nothing I could do to stop it. Once again, she was entertained by my behavior.

"Come on," she said at last, saving me from further embarrassment as she ushered me upstairs. Thank the gods she took some pity on me.

Unfortunately, I didn't make things so easy on her. And by that, I mean I made things far too easy on her.

Even as we were outside of the room with a large star engraved in it, she turned to me, and I was leaning back against the wall, enticing her. She blinked for a moment, and then she cleared her throat.

"If it has two beds ... will you ssstill sleep in mine?" I giggled, feeling her hand close over my wrist to pull me into the room with her. I was thrilled until I realized it was just to keep others from staring or even leering at me. Men's voices could be heard from down the hall, and I'm sure that Xena didn't want any unnecessary trouble. Contrary to what others seemed to believe about her, Xena didn't enjoy trouble - it just happened to follow her wherever she went. Much like it did with me.

"Go to sleep, Gabrielle," she sighed, shaking her head as she slipped off her boots. I always loved to watch her do that, and I watched her then, too. I even moaned - much to my own surprise. "Gabrielle-" she started again, but once she saw the look in my eyes, she pointed to the bed. "Sleep in your clothes."

"But-"

"Do as I say."

Her voice aroused me like I hadn't realized before. It was so firm that I shyly walked over to the bed and dropped onto it, curling up to the edge. I think my actions told her just how intimidating she could be, although I wasn't scared, and she was quickly crawling onto the bed behind me. She touched my shoulder and leaned onto her side.

"Gabrielle? ... I'm ... I didn't mean it like that," she said, a little more fluidly than usual. I would assume that was from the relaxing effects of the drinks we'd shared just earlier, but I didn't even wonder in my drunken stupor. I just whimpered until she snuggled in close behind me.

"Can I touch myself?" I asked quietly, already moving my hand slowly down to my legs.

"No," she answered softly, taking both of my arms and holding them tightly to my chest. She told me we would sleep, and that I'd had too much to drink. I remember this, but not the words she used. She seemed much more vocal with the port she'd enjoyed. I only wish I could have handled myself better, to have the memory of that night in its entirety.

I didn't have the strength or the sense to argue with any of her reasoning, so I moaned quietly again and closed my eyes. I had no idea the torture it must have been for her.

I remember the feel of her hand on my back as I drifted off to sleep. She was like an angel, caring for me and keeping my best interests in mind - my mind wandering towardher interests and desires.

When I awoke the next morning, I felt groggy, exhausted and sore. My head was throbbing as everything came back to me, and I looked up to see Xena with some sort of bin she brought over to my side of the bed. "What are you doing?" I mumbled quietly, rubbing the sides of my head. "And why does it hurt so bad ...?"

In place of an answer, Xena smiled and touched my arm. "Feel alright?"

"No!" I scoffed, curling up in bed. "Uhhh ..."

She got to her feet - fully dressed already - and I watched as she made her way to the door. When she told me she would look around for some food to bring back, I was grateful that I would have some more rest. She could be so incredibly considerate.

It felt like days had passed when I opened my eyes again, not even feeling nauseous, but feeling stupid for drinking with Xena - as if I could match her behavior in any facet. I rubbed my head and felt my stomach growling, so I slowly headed downstairs to ask for some food.

The barmaid allowed me to put the food on Xena's tab, because she knew of the warrior's reputation, and she could see that I meant something to her. I thanked the woman and sat at a table by myself, eating in some much-needed peace when a loud group of men came pummeling in through the doors. I groaned with the noise, pulling attention to myself. I was stupid, but I wasn't thinking. I was simply frustrated with the after-effects of the port, and I was too hungry to even notice as they approached me.

"Mind if I ... sit?"

I didn't even look up from my plate, because it all tasted so good. I was starving and the feast before me held all of my attention. "No." I had meant 'No, I don't want you to sit here,' but by the time I realized my mistake, one of the boys was sitting beside me. And he did seem more like a boy than a man. He looked to be my age, maybe a little younger, but he was strong. I could see that in his build as I glanced over at him.

"So ..." he smiled, leaning forward as I ate my food. "You hungry?"

I nodded and ate even quicker as he ordered another plate for me. I thanked him, but I insisted I was okay - I didn't need him to buy anything for me. Of course, he was trying to bed me, but I couldn't see that. I was just hungry and hungover.

By the time I was working on the second plate, I'd decided that it would be rude to brush him off, so I let him sit with me. Him and his friends. They weren't such a terrible bunch, really, even if they did tease me. I don't think they really meant any harm.

"What is this?" Xena's voice startled me, and I turned to look back as I swallowed the remaining food in my mouth. I could hear all the men at my table go silent, as well as the other patrons. Xena's voice had a habit of booming over everyone else's.

"They ... were just eating with me," I answered, licking my fingers as I turned in my chair, "Why don't you come sit with us?"

She did not look impressed. As I think back to this, I find myself laughing at the image of Xena's face then. Gods, I was so naive. And stupid.

"Xena, we're just eating. They were telling me about all their travels," I pressed further, nodding along with my own claims as Xena stood and crossed her arms. She very much looked the part of the strong, protective warrior that she was.

"Oh. Were they?"

It didn't take her long to clear the table by intimidation, although she insisted she hadn't meant for that.

"I got caught up. I'm glad you ate," she said apologetically, looking over toward the bar to wave down the barmaid again for her own plate.

That was a nice lunch we shared, and I even asked Xena to come shopping around with me after. It wasn't a surprise to me when she declined, but I insisted I wanted to go. Interesting how courageous I became the more time I spent with her. Some would have thought me crazy for my insistence, I'm certain.

Sure enough, she finally agreed to come with me - staring down men who would glance me over. I caught her doing it a few times, but I slapped her arm, and insisted they hadn't been staring at all.

My favorite part of the experience was when I came across a strange little shop that appeared almost abandoned. After we'd stepped inside, Xena told me we were leaving. I was confused, looking around at all the strangely-shaped objects, but I wanted to stay. I insisted I wanted to look around, like many other times I had insisted my way with Xena, but this time was different. She grabbed onto my arm, and spun me around to look at her. She was serious. "Gabrielle, we're leaving."

Just as she spoke, a man came out from the back, where it seemed only darkness laid. He looked to both of us and showed his stained and crooked smile as he limped over. "Looking for ... something?"

His grin confused me, and I just looked up to Xena.

He was massaging both of his hands together, limping to his spot by a counter, grinning at Xena. "She has ... very interesting tastes, does she?"

That was when I realized what the objects looked like - I had spotted a phallic-looking knob, and I gasped. Xena's grip tightened on my arm, so I kept quiet, and I kept very close to her. I wanted to laugh and I wanted to ask questions; I didn't understand what it all meant. Why would someone buy carved, phallic ornaments? Again, I was naive.

Some were so large that I was confused, just looking out to the shop owner again, feeling incredibly uncomfortable before Xena pulled me behind her. "We were just leaving," she assured him, turning with me and doing just that.

The hilarity of my insistence had me laughing all the way back - also apologizing to Xena for dragging her into such a place. However, when we made our way back to our room at the inn, I became seriously curious.

"Xena? ... Why was he selling those things?"

"Why do you think?"

I should have known she wouldn't have explained it, but that also left me to offer my interpretations. And I wasn't learned in the matter, by any means.

"Umm ... is it to put over a man's ..."

"No."

I furrowed my brows and just looked at her. "Art then?"

She brought her hand to cover her face, trying not to smile, I could tell. And as she sat on the bed to take off her boots again, I jumped onto the bed from the other side, and kept pestering her until she finally snapped.

"It's for sex. Between two women, Gabrielle."

My eyes went wide as she turned onto her side away from me, and forced her eyes closed. She didn't want to confront the conversation - that much was clear.

"Did you ... buy anything?"

"Of course not!" she snapped again, looking incredulously at me. "You ... you were there." And with that, she turned over, trying to ignore her own confusion and frustration at my question and my endless curiosity. I think it confused her that I wasn't put off by the idea. "Gods, Gabrielle. Go to sleep."

I obeyed her in a shame which twisted in my stomach until later that night, when she snuggled up to me.

The cuddling wasn't like when she held me other times - the times I asked her to do it. In that moment, she pressed against me. Wanton. I could feel the heat within her as she moved her hands over my hips like I was something to be claimed. It lighted me with an excitement I had never known without her. Not with anyone else had felt that - I only melted for Xena.

I knew she could sense I was awake, but I think she also knew I wouldn't say a word. Maybe she was starting to understand I wanted her to touch me just as much as she wanted to do it.

But disappointment set in when she simply moved against me once, moaning in that rough way she does - as if a knife has just been plunged into her thigh. Maybe it was as terrible to have me so close, but to never really have me. I thought about that after, when she'd given up trying to take what she wanted. She'd fallen asleep behind me.

I curiously moved my hand over her arm, to settle on those callused fingers, rough especially against my own softer skin. My breath caught in my throat, just thinking of the power she exerted all the time - at the control she had in those agile fingers. A little smile prickled at my lips, wondering just what might happen if she lost her supreme self-control - even once. Really lost it.

My small touches roused her - I could feel it, but that didn't stop me. I too knew that she wouldn't make herself obvious, but I could tell she was waiting on my every movement. Her breaths were deeper, her hips a little tense.

"Oh, Xena ... if only you knew," I whispered, completely aware she was listening. If I continued on this confession I'd thought of so much, she WOULD know. My heart leapt up into my throat, but I just couldn't seem to stop myself. I wanted her to know. And maybe I wanted to tease her, too.

Her hand accidentally tensed at the situation, but she relaxed it just as quickly.

"How much I think about you ... That I'm not the same girl I was when I met you ..."

She'd stopped breathing entirely, and I was excited with bravery. I cuddled back against her a little further, gently kissing her hand. I'd never done it like that before, but I wanted her to think I had. Like I'd done it every night just that way.

"If only you could see that maybe you're not alone in ... well. Not that I'd have the courage to tell you that ..." I was whispering, but it felt like shouting in the way it affected us both so mercilessly.

I hoped she would breathe again soon, but I still couldn't help myself. It was all flowing out of me so quickly.

"That night ... The night you almost took me ... The way you kissed me ... I want to see that passion in you. I ... want to feel that passion in myself ... I've never let myself be that way. Oh, Xena. I wish you'd understand. I wish ... I wish you'd listen." I'd finished with teasing her. I really wanted her to listen, and to be present. I was relieved when she finally took a steady breath in and then let it out into my hair. In fact, it made me giggle, just as quietly as I'd been whispering. She had mistakenly tickled my neck in that way only she could. Unaware she'd even done it.

I breathed then, relaxed in her arms. "Oh, Xena. You hopeless warrior ..."

Did she want to tell me she'd been awake all the while? Would she? I held my breath too, just waiting, but she simply laid behind me in silence - probably waiting until I'd talked myself to sleep. She must have thought I was such a silly girl, but I didn't care. I was actually happy that I'd said all of those things, and that maybe she would see that we wanted the same things.

The next morning, I awoke to an empty bed. I sighed and laid on my back, finally making my way downstairs, fully dressed. Xena was nowhere in sight.

I was alone for much of that day, daring to venture out only once, when I was hassled, and then made my way sheepishly back. I ate and then lay back in bed, just waiting for her to come back.

It was dinner time when she arrived, panting and muddy from a vigorous run. It looked like she'd been surviving in the wild for a fortnight at least, and I immediately looked to her.

"... Xena?"

She didn't even speak one word of explanation. She simply took one look at me, and left once more.

The next time I saw her, it was very early the next morning. I'd fallen asleep waiting for her, and when I opened my eyes to hers, she was much calmer. The rage and fire in her eyes was gone, and she was clean. Her hair was a mess of tangles, but she was alright. My only concern was that she looked incredibly sad. She dragged her feet into the room when I focused on her.

Again, I asked the same thing - hoping for better results that time around. "Xena?"

She made eye contact with me, but didn't dare to answer. She just nodded in the morning darkness, and shuffled over to the bed, holding me just the way I liked. She was close and comforting - loving even. I smiled and decided not to ask questions. Wherever she'd been, she was back with me at last.

"Don't leave tonight, okay?" I requested, simple and true.

"Okay."

I wanted to moan at her strange obedience, when usually she would tease or do the opposite just because, but I kept that to myself. I snuggled back into her hold, back against her warm, clean flesh. And suddenly, I wanted to tease her again. Something about Xena drew me in, fulfilling a part of me I had never known about myself before. I found that I was absolutely a sexual being.

"Xeeena?"

She was quiet behind me, if only squeezing a little tighter, perhaps. "Go to sleep, Gabrielle."

"But-"

"Sleep."

I wriggled a bit first, and then I felt her arm close over my chest, keeping me still. I smiled and tried speaking with her again.

"But Xena, I-mmmf!"

She'd closed her other hand over my mouth, keeping me still against her. I tried not to act as surprised as I felt, or as excited. But slowly, I started struggling a little more. It was fun, annoying her to no end.

"Will you just be quiet?" she whispered with her usual frustration toward my teasing.

I was forgetting my silliness when something surprised me. Suddenly, I felt her hand drift down over my stomach, slipping under my shift.

"What you said the other night ... That was terrible. And it's not true."

I tried saying it was truer than she knew, but all my words were muffled by the strength of her hand, silencing me still.

"And I never want to hear that again. You don't know what you're saying."

Instead of trying to explain myself, I decided on something else. For once, I wanted to let my body speak for itself, feeling brave. Very slowly, I pushed my hips back, wet immediately at the thought of her touch. I just breathed, and didn't even attempt to speak. My actions were quickly affecting her.

"I don't know what you're trying to do, but stop it."

At her continued frustration, I gently hooked my leg over her hip and moaned. Let me just say that I could FEEL her desire in that moment. She grasped at my shift and whimpered into my ear. I'd never heard any noise quite like the almighty Xena shivering with want, and my desire was heightened because of it. I was warm between my legs, the throbbing almost painful in its early stages.

I moaned again, but that time it wasn't purposeful. She was exciting me, what little touch I could feel.

"Stop it," she whispered, but that time there was a general weakness to her voice. She could be so beautiful when she wanted to be. So vulnerable and yet so strong all at the same time. It sounded as if she was pleading with me to stop, but I could do no such thing.

I pushed my hips back again, this time more vulnerable because of my position. Her hand drifted down from my stomach and raked up all the way to the warmth of my inner thigh - up to the only garment I was wearing under my sleeping shift. I trembled in her hands, my mouth still covered. I was completely at her mercy, and I was shocked at my excitement by that. It actually made me physically hot, fire racing under my skin at her fingertips. Her knowing fingertips gently traced all the way up to feel how wet my garment was, and to know my shameful lust. I think she was surprised at just how desperate I had become.

I whimpered back to her, feeling her rough, warm fingers on my cheek. The palm of her left hand still pressed to my lips. And yet, I wasn't afraid. I was only more excited, rolling my hips in wait - it felt so natural, and yet I had never moved that way before. Never like that.

And then, without warning, she tugged down that simple garment, off the knee that was draped over her hip. I gasped with her hand still over my mouth as she moved the other up, up, up. All the way up between my legs so that I was moaning like a fool. I was crumbling in her hands, the feel of each finger holding me in ecstasy. Her soft, insistent touch melted all the reason left in me.

I had never been touched like that in all my life, and I all but purred for her. I thought I wouldn't survive the pleasure she could certainly deliver. And just when I thought I'd had the best she could offer me - that I knew pleasure in all its forms there in her arms - I came. I thought the entirety of her touch had been my climax, the oblivious young woman that I was. But when I had that first orgasm, I screamed into her hand. And I was thankful then that she'd silenced me.

By the time I came down from it, she was on all fours, pushing me down onto my back. Just when I thought I couldn't have been silenced any better, she spread my legs and went down on me. She licked and tasted me until I came again, melting under her tongue.

That time, I had to silence myself, finally looking up at her with tears in my eyes as she travelled back up my body, looking shyly away from me.

I hooked my legs around her hips and willed her to make eye contact. At last, she looked right at me, and that moment will forever be etched into my memory. I am confident that even when I am too old to remember my own name, I will still look back on that memory in perfect, splendid detail. Her eyes with their beauty.

"I shouldn't have," she mumbled quietly, taking more control when she saw the emotion in my eyes. When she saw just how flush and satisfied I was. She could finally see me as a woman. As more than a simple girl. She looked at me like she'd loved me her entire life. "Gabrielle ... please tell me you're alright."

"Xena ... Oh gods!" I whispered with a smile genuine enough to dissolve her concerns. "... Can we do that again?"

She looked down at me, suddenly melting with me, too.

"I wanna understand what you do with your tongue," I whispered more sensually, touching her lips, "So I can do it, too."

"Gabrielle ..."

"Please ..." I whispered, holding her close to me, trapping her there. "Teach me ... let me please you ... I wanna give that to you ... please."

But she was as strong as she ever was then, leaning down over me. She licked her lips and studied mine. Was she imagining what I could do? Wondering if I was capable?

"Xena ... please let me?"

"I can't, Gabrielle ..."

But I wouldn't give up - not when we had come so far. So I wriggled from underneath her, smiling as I rolled on top of her to press down onto that perfect body. I just gazed at her with all the love I felt, feeling the sides of her leather bodice with my hands.

"I can."

Gods, that look on her face just said it all. She wondered if I would. Well, I would teach her to never doubt me, I figured, as I playfully leaned closer to kiss the middle of her cleavage. Chuckling when Xena smiled.

"Gabrielle ... what're you doing?"

"Pleasing you."

She allowed it because she was truly happy there with me - I could feel it. "Oh, are you?"

"Don't tell me how, come to think of it," I smirked mischievously with the playful smile back on her lips, "I wanna figure it all out for myself ... I know you better than you think, Warrior ..."

"Is that right?" she smiled, trailing off in a whisper as my hand tugged at the leather to expose her left breast. I leaned in close to lick it. And as she sucked in a deep breath, she arched up to offer herself to me. What an offering it was.

"Don't worry ... I won't hurt you," I said quietly as a tease, then realizing how meaningful it was to her as the uncertainty in her eyes dissolved quite nicely. She looked up at me, and touched my face. It was like nothing else, and I could tell she was confused by her swarm of feelings too, but it was beautiful. "Let me kiss you ..." I whispered, sinking down on top of her to do just that.

With her lips busy on mine, I took that opportunity to touch and fondle her as I'd always wanted to. Her perfect abdomen, her arms, her sides, and her legs. My fingers exlored many areas of her soft and inviting flesh before finally meeting the small patch of curls between her legs. Excitedly, I moaned into our kiss.

The first gasp that escaped her was so feminine, I had to look down to make sure she hadn't transformed in some way. It was still her - she was still there beneath me.

I moaned and watched her react to my touch as my fingers slipped a little lower, venturing to feel if she would be quite as wet as I felt. She was just as drenched - her thighs parting as my fingers moved over her to find that clever opening. I wanted to feel what it would be like inside of her. Inside of a woman ... inside of Xena. The two seemed so utterly separate from each other. So specifically different.

"Gabrielle ..." she whispered, as my fingers had found their way into her at last. It seemed, with the way she squirmed and the sounds she made for me, that I could truly affect her.

My favorite part came as my kisses had made my way down her stomach - much to her surprise. She kept her legs opened for me, and she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen; all of her exposed, but none of her vulnerable. At least not from what I could tell.

As I licked her that first time, she was lost. It was the most incredible thing, to see her twisting and whimpering with pleasure as if she were just as human as anyone else.

"Gabrielle ..." she drawled so sincerely that I became invested all over again in her pleasure. I moved my tongue around on her, touching and licking until she came for me.

I wanted to tell her I loved her then, but my words just couldn't seem to find their way out. So I moaned instead as she finally relaxed there under me, and slowly I climbed up her muscular body to find comfort there.

It felt as though we could finally breathe, sharing the same warmth and silence in understanding.

"Xena ..."

She stroked my hair and my back, but she didn't say a thing. We fell asleep that way, just close enough to hear each other's heartbeat. I don't know if she was listening to mine - or if she could feel it - but I was listening to hers.

When I woke up the next morning, I was on my side and she was behind me. I smiled and stretched, feeling one of her hands cup my breasts while the other veered down between my thighs. And that was when I realized she hadn't been inside of me the night before. I blushed and enjoyed the way her fingers could tease my flesh.

Her touch burned and soothed me all at once.

"Xena ... the other day ... two days ago ...?"

"I was helping. I went out and fought, Gabrielle."

"But you didn't speak to me."

"Maybe if you're really good ..." she started in a coy a fashion as she had ever spoken to me. "Maybe then I'll talk."

I wanted to laugh, but all that would come out was a hearty moan, resting deep in the back of my throat. "Mmm ... oh, is that how it's gonna work?"

"Spread your legs and we'll see."

I felt tingles all over with the way she could talk that way to me. With the pleasure of it! I couldn't believe how excited she could make me with one simple phrase, but I gladly lifted my leg over her hip and invited her touch. "Yes ... Please ...?"

She had me just where she wanted me - something I hadn't seen happening until it already did. Even two days later, when we headed out on our own again, she had me where she wanted me still. Whenever, wherever, however. I was always willing - as desperate as that sounds.

The way she would touch me gave new meaning to touch altogether. Her hands possessed my very soul.