I own nothing. Please no flames. Don't like, don't comment, any who do flame will be blocked.
Q&A:
Q: What do you mean by soul bond? A: A soul bond is essentially magic deciding two people are meant to be together and binds them together, it's seen by the magical world as a official marriage.
Q: Why did you give him the hallows so early? Also that's not how the elder wand works!
A: I gave him the hallows early for a reason which is not going be revealed. As to the elder wand, Grindelwald or whatever his name was stole the wand from an old man without killing him yet he could use it fine, BLOODY PLOT HOLE!
Q: Is Petunia a squib in this?
A: No, Petunia is an adopted muggle sister of Lily also the blood wards were a lie!
Q: What about Harry being head of the Potter family?
A: That's an automatic given.
Chapter 2: The Ghosts of the Ancestors.
The entire great hall sat there, mouths agape at the ghost of Rowena Ravenclaw. The ghost of the founder hadn't been seen in over 500 years.
Snape, however, thought of this as a prank and ignored the ghost. "POTTER! ANOTHER ONE THOUSAND POINTS FOR THIS RIDICULOUS PRANK!"
"Snapey snapper! Teeth in his gapper! " a bemused voice chuckled as a short ghost floated in.
" PEEVES! LEAVE NOW! " Snape snarled ignoring Harry for the moment.
" You STILL go by Peeves? Honestly Salazar. " Rowena sighed. Many people gaped in open shock. After all a founder was the bloody school trickster?!" Grow up and be serious. "
" I can't, that's Potter's godfather. " Peeves chuckled." I'M Salazar Peeves Slytherin. "
" I'll get the Bloody Barron. " Rowena threatened. Salazar gulped.
" WHAT IS GOING ON POTTER? ONE MILLION POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR! " Snape bellowed.
" Oh sod off! " snapped a new voice, it was a silver haired ghost in brown colored robes. She looked at Snape with a glare." You are totally unfair and don't reward all the hard work the students put in during your class. "
" Well said Helgy. " Peeves chuckled." Where's Gordy? "
" IT'S GODRIC YOU NINNY! " called a voice as a black haired ghost floated down from the ceiling. Peeves response was to stick out his tongue and blow a raspberry." Oh, I do believe that we're in the presence of our heirs. " he stated, his attitude taking a 180."Heirs Longbottom and Potter you two are my last descendants."
"Miss Lovegood, Greengrass and Potter. " Rowena smiled calmly.
" Flinch Fletcher, Longbottom, Andrew and Sally Stuart " Helga smiled making Neville and Sally Stuart gape in shock.
"Peanuts, pickles mayo... Oh, wait that's Snapey's shopping list. " Peeves chuckled." Spiritual heirs are Weasleys, Hermione Granger, and Potter through conquest. "
Many students were shocked and floored, not only at the heirs of the founders but the fact Hermione wasn't muggle-born, but a halfblood at the least. It was a bit too much for some and many fainted, including Ron.
" But she's a mudblood! " Malfoy bellowed loudly.
" And I'm a water buffalo wearing a tutu. " Peeves cackled." Slytherin is a house of prankers after all, my daughter Elisa was a big one, married to a muggle. Best prank ever! " he laughed as Snape stood there mouth agape like the rest of the staff.
" Well at least no one can call you the m word. " Neville tried to tell the shocked girl. She promptly fainted into her book.
" Well, in accordance with the laws of the Wizengamot the heirs are to be given their own rooms. " Minerva stated, still half in shock." If those mentioned will follow me. "
" THAT'S A LOAD OF CRAP! WHEN MY FATHER HEARS ABOUT THIS! " three gesses as to who.
" MISTER MALFOY! " McGonagall snapped." ten points from slytherin for your language. " she then turned to the evernated heirs." Follow me please. "
Many of the students followed her in a state of shock to the 7th corridor and into the room of requirement. It was currently a common room with eight off shooting rooms, two for each founder. " This is your common room for the remainder of your stay. "
The slytherin girl, Sally Stuart was the first to talk. "So, now what?"
"The eldest heirs will guide you. I'm afraid I must attend to the others. " McGonagall stated before walking out of the room.
" So, if we're "Fred began
" The eldest heirs of Slytherin here" George continued.
"Then we declare. "
" To follow the founders example, "
" Meaning. " they both smirked." We've got pranks to pull! " many groaned at that while Hermione sighed.
" Uhm, I'm not sure about this. " Neville gulped nervously." I'm not the leader type. "
" You'll be great Neville. " Harry responded calmly.
" I do believe that Harry Potter is the oldest heir of Ravenclaw here. " Luna smiled dreamily, holding Fleur's hand who had been dragged along.
" POTTER! " Snape shouted as he burst into the room, his cloak billowing behind him and his wand drawn." WHAT DID YOU DO?! "
" What? " Harry asked." Sorry for surviving Voldemort. " many flinched."But I'd rather not be dead!"
"Someone call? " Death asked, knowing full well that only the dead, Harry and his future wives could see or hear her.
" DETENTION FOR THE NEXT THREE YEARS! " Snape screamed in his face.
" Ya know what? No. " Sally stated bluntly." I'm sick of you picking on everyone professor. "
" Don't talk to me like that I'm your head of house! " Snape screamed in anger.
" Shut up you greasy git!" Ginny shouted, the twins cheering her on. "Why don't you just leave us alone!?"
"QUIET YOU BRAT! " was her reply from Snape, a sharp slap sounded through the air as Ginny fell back, a red handshaped mark on her cheek.
Everyone was silent asides the sound of Ginny's sobs as the twins were by her side. Everyone glared daggers at Snape. Even the normally pureblood frenetic Greengrass girls were glaring.
"Stupify! "," Expelliamus! " and one" Testus Crucifys" from Astoria slammed into Snape, he dropped like a rock, his face and hair singed from twin fireballs from Harry and Fleur.
"I'll call madam bones. " Daphne Greengrass called as she rushed to the fireplace, one minute later with a gust of green flames Madam Bones entered the room.
" Severus Damian Snape, you are under arrest for assaulting a minor, verbal abuse of students and insulting a lord. " Amelia Bones stated as she evernated Snape, taking his wand in the process before securing magic nullifying hand cuffs on him. She then turned to Daphne." I look forward to seeing you and Astoria at Christmas. " before she floo'd away with Snape in tow.
" Expecto Patronum! " Harry intoned as the silver stag patronus bust from the tip of the wand." Tell Professor McGonagall that Severus Snape was arrested for assault by Amelia Bones. " he instructed before the patronus flew out of the room. Everyone looked shocked at him." What? "
" You used a patronus as a messenger? " Hermione asked in shock.
" Uh, yes? I've seen Dumbledore do it, it was easy to figure out really. " Harry admitted bashfully.
" Ooh! Icklle bitty kiddies. " cackled Peeves as he floats up through the floor, scaring almost everyone in the room, only the twins seemed to be immune." Okay here's how bein' me heirs work. Ya see I had no kids right so every few hundred years or so, I choose who will be my heirs, Hermione Granger for pranking my house with polyjuice, Weasleys because Gred and Forge are the best pranksters since the marauders and Harry because he beat moldy shorts who was the descendant of my last heir. "a few chuckled at the name moldy shorts, finding it funny as opposed to the terrifying Voldemort.
There was a loud crash sound about two floors down and Peeves cackled.
" SALAZAR PEEVES SLYTHERIN! "Godric's voice bellowed through the castle.
" See ya wouldn't wanna be Ya. " Peeves cackled, blew a raspberry and flew off through a wall.
" 'Arry mon cheri, we should get going to Grin'ots now, " fleur suggested.
" alright, are you coming too luna? " Harry asked.
" Of course, I am your wife after all. " she giggled and dragged Fleur and Harry through the floo, this left many confused and a few disappointed people behind.
" Oh man. " Daphne laughed." he's whipped! "
" But I wanted to marry him. " Ginny whispered in a sad, small voice.
At Gringots the two veela and one seer appeared in a fireplace with a burst of flames. The goblins barely noticed, only the closest did when he calmly brushed some soot of of his suit. Harry walked up to one of the goblins.
"Excuse me sir, sorry if I don't know the proper etiquette but may I please talk to my account manager? " Harry asked.
" Names please? " the goblin asked, barely looking up.
" Harry Potter sir. " Harry replied." these are my wives Luna and Fleur. " he added, introducing the girls.
" Took you long enough. " the goblin scoffed." Head to room 274 down hallway 4." he drawled.
The doorway was about ten foot high and was made of a white stone, the hallway was lit by torches of Greek fire.
"Enter. " a voice called, just before Harry could knock. The door opened by itself revealing a elderly goblin." greetings Mister Potter, my name is Ragnok, goblin king. Please have a seat. "
" Thank you your majesty. " Harry stated, slightly nervous.
" Right, let's get this over with. " Ragnok muttered as he cut open a envelope with the Potter seal on it." Would you prefer I read it or you? "
" I would thank you. " Harry stated. Ragnok nodded and handed the will over.
This is the last testament of Lily Potter nee Evens and James Potter.
We in sound body and mind hereby proclaim this our final will and voiding all previous ones.
To Harry James Potter, our son we leave you the family invisibility cloak, and the Potter vault, we're sorry.
To Hermione Jane Potter, our eldest child, we leave the family library, the Potter vault, my Morgana wizard card and our apology for not being there for you.
To Sirius Black, our best friend and Harry's godfather by the godfather ritual, we leave 5000 galleons and custody of our son Harry James Potter and our daughter Hermione Jane Potter.
To Remus R Lupin, we leave 1000 galleons, ten shickles and four knuts, Lily's nimbus 1986 and my collection of wizard cards asides Morgana. we would give you secondary custody of Harry and Hermione but unfortunately the law forbids it.
To Peter Pettigrew we leave you our dying curse, you ratted us out you b***!
To Minerva McGonagall, my godmother, we leave you 3000 galleons and custody of our children if Sirius is unable to.
To Pandora and Xenophilius Lovegood, we give you custody of Harry and Hermione in the event that Minerva cannot look after them and to make sure Harry knows of the contract with Luna.
To Bellatrix Lestrange nee Black, Harry and Hermione's godmother, we hope to God that we break the Imperius Curse on you so you may know your godchildren.
To one manipulative git Albus Dumbledore, we leave you our curse of having to eat sherbert lemons, we know that you have them.
Under no circumstances is Hermione or Harry to be left with Petunia Dursley nee evens under any circumstances or are to be split up.
All properties we own are to go to Harry and Hermione upon 16 years of age.
Witness: Pandora Lovegood Goblin witness: Ripfang and Ragnok Signed: Lily and James Potter.
Harry was openly crying, this was probably the only thing written by his parents he's seen and he's got a sister! He had no idea Hermione was his sister.
"Well, it appears that we've got two innocent people to free. " Ragnok stated with a frown. He pushed a rune on his desk and the will duplicated before he took one of the three copies and snapped his fingers, making it vanish." I'm sure the DMLE would be interested in that, you may take a copy and the original we shall hold for records and distributing the mentioned items. "
" Thank'ou missure Ragnok. " Fleur stated formally. She then turned to Harry." come on 'Arry, are you alright? " at his nod she continued." we should show' Ermione, she would not know you are siblin's. "
As they left the room none of them noticed a small black beetle flying off.