A/N: Chapter two! Enjoy!

"No."

"But Hermione—"

"No!"

Harry put his hands on her shoulders. "We need to get the first kiss out of the way. If we kiss for the first time in front of people, they're going to be able to tell."

"I don't see why we need to kiss at all!"

"It's inevitable," he sighed. "You know how the guys are, especially Dean and Seamus. They'll want to see it, so they can make inappropriate comments and whistle at us. And it won't be convincing if we don't do at least a little PDA."

Hermione shook his hands off her. "This is ridiculous! Let's just forget the whole thing!"

"You already agreed—"

"Under coercion!" she snapped. "It's not valid if it's under coercion!"

Harry rolled his eyes. "Come on, Hermione, just try it. For me?"

Damn him. Those words never failed to work on her. Still, if he was going to use that against her, she was determined to pout. "Fine," she snarled, folding her arms across her chest. Harry stepped toward her, his hands resting on her shoulders again. He leaned in slowly, and—

"ARGH!"

Harry groaned as Hermione scampered away, shaking as if she'd seen something particularly nasty. He ran a tired hand along his face. "Bloody hell, Hermione, it's just a kiss!"

"It's weird," she complained.

"It'll be less weird once we get it over with."

Hermione sighed heavily. "Alright, alright." Closing the distance between them again, she decided to try closing her eyes. She felt Harry's hands take hers, and his warmth as he leaned in again…

Pop.

"BLOODY DAMN HELL!" The pair shot apart, hearts racing as they looked at Ron, who was fuming. "Okay, finding the pair of you at Hermione's flat with your legs in his lap," he pointed an accusing finger at Hermione, before shifting to Harry, "and you massaging her ankles is one thing. But this is a hell of a lot more incriminating! You were about to snog!"

"Wouldn't be a problem if you didn't keep bloody barging in," Harry muttered under his breath.

"Ron—" Hermione began, but was interrupted.

"The truth!" he half-screamed. "I want the absolute truth from you two!"

Hermione glanced at Harry. "We might as well tell him."

"Yes! Please do!"

Harry groaned again. "Okay. Ron… we're pretending to be a couple."

He blinked several times. "I thought I said the truth."

"That is the truth. I came up with the idea last night. Everybody's been nagging us about being a couple, and we're a bit sick of it. So, we're going to pretend to be one for a while, until people get bored with it, then we'll 'break up,'" he made air quotes around the words, "and then, hopefully, everyone will just leave it be."

"And you honestly think that's going to work?" Ron asked.

"Yes," Harry nodded emphatically, while Hermione replied simultaneously with an equally firm, "No," resulting in the pair glaring at each other.

Ron was silent for a moment, then narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. "Actually, you know what? This might be a good idea."

"Ha!" Harry shouted triumphantly to an indignant Hermione.

"You can't be serious!"

"Hear me out," he said. "I was just talking to Mum about everyone she's invited, and… well… don't hate the messenger," he added with trepidation.

"What is it?" Hermione asked warningly.

He paused for a moment. "She… may or may not have… invited Krum."

"WHAT?"

Harry flinched at the decibel of Hermione's shriek, and didn't relax. He glowered at Ron. "Please tell me you're joking."

Ron held up both hands in a gesture of innocence. "Not my fault! And not Mum's, either! To be fair, she didn't know about the whole stalking-and-challenging-to-a-duel thing!"

Hermione shuddered inwardly at the memory; for about two years, shortly after she'd finished her last year at Hogwarts, Viktor had surprised her with a visit. She hadn't thought anything of it at first, just viewed it as a visit from an old friend. But when he kept coming every day, it started to wear on her. She'd told him, as kindly as possible, that she needed some space and privacy. He took it very hard, and commented on her frequent meetings with Harry. When she countered that Harry was her best friend, and had a valid reason to see her regularly, Viktor only became angrier, and swore he would win her heart, before storming out. Later that same night, Harry had shown up, looking quite frazzled, and announced that Viktor had challenged him to a duel, saying "Vinner gets Herm-o-ninny!" Harry won, of course, and Viktor was held in the Ministry's detaining cell for a few days, and told that if he ever came near Hermione again, he'd receive a more permanent sentence. No official restraining order had been made, but even Hermione had felt a chill go down her spine at the tone of Harry's voice when he'd issued his threat. She hadn't seen Viktor since.

And now, Molly had invited him to the bloody Burrow for tea and crumpets.

Resolutely, Hermione marched over to Harry and, barely registering the look of shock on his face, yanked his face down to hers and planted an angry kiss on his lips. "There," she growled. "Awkwardness over. We're doing this."

"Bloody hell," Ron muttered, grimacing. "That's gonna give me nightmares. Just… go sit in the corner and think about what you've made me witness."

With that, he disapparated, and Harry and Hermione shared a look, before dissolving into fits of laughter.

"You sure about this?" Harry asked.

She rolled her eyes. "For the thousandth time, yes, Harry. Viktor won't need any encouragement to start harassing me, but hopefully our fake relationship will be enough discouragement to push him away."

"Or he might just try to duel with me again," Harry grumbled.

"And you'll win, again," she said, but it sounded less like praise and more like a warning.

Harry gulped. "Yes, ma'am."

Hermione smoothed her yellow sundress absentmindedly. It was a rare, warm afternoon, and the sun shone happily down on them. They veered around to the back of the house, where a number of tables had been set up, white tablecloths reflecting the sunlight, and floral centerpieces adding a pop of color to each table. Harry nudged Hermione and gestured toward the farthest table, where an unmistakable crew-cut head faced in the opposite direction. Viktor Krum sat, his back to them, conversing with Bill and Fleur. Due to his position, he hadn't noticed their arrival, and Hermione inwardly sighed with relief.

"Ready?" Harry whispered, and she nodded. He laced his fingers with hers, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze, and they continued toward the group.

Hermione took the brief continuation of solitude to observe the remainder of the party. Charlie, George, and Ron were standing off to one side, probably talking about Quidditch. Luna was sitting at a nearby table, seeming perfectly content to lean her head back and soak up the rays of the sun. Andromeda and Molly were chatting at another table, with Arthur standing directly behind his wife, one hand on her shoulder. Percy and his wife, Audrey, stood a ways off, both their eyes trained on the gaggle of children in the distance. Hermione easily recognized Teddy, his brilliant blue hair a beacon in the late-afternoon light, and Victoire's luminous blonde head followed close behind. Little Molly and Lucy played with dolls near their parents, despite their cousin Roxie's requests that they join her in a game of catch. The older girl shrugged at their refusal, and resumed playing with her brother, Freddie, and Hermione spotted their mum, Angelina, joining the game, as well as Bill and Fleur's two younger children, Dominique and Louis. Dean and Seamus stood in a huddle, probably discussing some prank or other. The most surprising sight was that of Ginny and Malfoy, sitting at a table on their own, seemingly lost in their own private bubble.

"Harry! Hermione!" the voice of Molly Weasley cried out, and their adopted mother raced toward them as fast as her aging legs could carry her. The pair of friends grinned at one another, then smiled happily at Molly as she crushed them to her in a hug. "I'm so delighted you came!" She pulled back, turning remorseful eyes to Hermione. "I'm sorry about Viktor, dear," she whispered. "I wasn't aware, but Ron told me about him. If I'd known, I promise you, he wouldn't be here."

"It's all right," Hermione assured her, while her insides screamed at the top of their figurative lungs.

Molly's eyes twinkled then. "He also told me about the two of you! I can't tell you how happy this makes me! I always knew you'd fall in love eventually!"

Hermione glanced at Harry, and they shared a look of long-suffering, but somehow managed to mask it with a tender smile. They each clung to the other's hand for support as they endured similar remarks from the other guests. Hermione noted absently that Viktor hung back with a scowl on his face, but her attention was diverted as Ginny attacked her with a bear hug.

"What a surprise!" the redhead squealed. "I'm so happy you two are together! You're perfect for each other!"

"Thanks," they mumbled awkwardly.

Malfoy cleared his throat. "Heaven help your children if you decide to reproduce," he sneered. "They will have absolutely atrocious hair."

Before either Harry or Hermione could respond, Ginny swatted her fiancé's arm. "Be nice," she scolded.

"It's not in my nature," he rolled his eyes.

"Rubbish. I've seen you give sweets to helpless children in St. Mungo's. I know what a softie you are."

He glared at her, but love shone through his eyes. "That's private, Ms. Weasley."

"Not to me, Mr. Malfoy," she teased, then gently pulled him down for a kiss.

"Ooookaaaaay," Harry ground out through his discomfort. "Well, we're just gonna… yep." He tugged on Hermione's arm, and they went over to where Luna was still seated. On their way, however, they were interrupted as Viktor stepped directly in their path. Hermione tensed as she watched the silent exchange between him and Harry. Both men scowled at one another, and neither seemed to have any intention of backing down.

"Everyone!" Molly's voice cut through the tension. "Dinner will be ready in five minutes, so if you'll find a seat, we'll have it out shortly!"

"Come on, Harry," Hermione urged, and pulled him toward the table. Harry resisted only slightly, before turning his back on Viktor and following. Luna's eyes opened just as they reached the table, and she smiled at them.

"Hello, you two," she said in her usual dreamy voice. "How nice to see you."

"Nice to see you too, Luna," Hermione replied.

They were soon joined by Ron, Ginny, and Malfoy. Not much was said among their small group, but the silence didn't weigh on them. Hermione glanced up at Harry, and he peeked at her from the corner of his eyes, giving a wink. Her response was to roll her eyes, but she smiled in return.

As promised, within five minutes, Molly announced that dinner was served, and plates of food floated from the kitchen, landing in front of each guest. There were three courses—salad, entrée, and dessert—and by the end of the meal, Hermione felt significantly more full than usual, not an uncommon thing to feel at the Burrow. Conversation was light, as most were focused on savoring the food (or, in Ron's case, shoving as much of it into his face as he could).

Once everyone was finished eating, Molly gathered the dishes with a quick spell, and everyone began to disperse into their own sub-groups. Ginny and Malfoy left, claiming a prior commitment. Harry and Ron headed over to Charlie and George to discuss (of course) Quidditch.

Luna moved to the chair beside Hermione. "Hermione, I just want you to know," she began, "I know about your plan with Harry."

Hermione stiffened. "Y-you do?"

She nodded serenely. "Ron told me. I hoped that's all right."

"It's a bit late if it's not, don't you think?" she sighed in reply.

The blonde smiled sweetly. "I think it's an excellent plan. But just so you know, you're not very convincing. You'll have to try a bit harder."

"But…" Hermione swallowed thickly, "c-can't we just… pretend we're taking things slowly?"

"That's fine," Luna agreed with a shrug. "For now. But in order to really convince people you're together, pretty soon, you're going to have to put more effort into it." Hermione sighed again, realizing the truth of this statement. "Oh, and if you plan to convince Viktor, you might want to think about doing that sooner, rather than later."

A chill ran down Hermione's spine. Merlin, she's right. We have to kick this up a notch.

"I have to go," she mumbled to Luna, who didn't respond, and Hermione didn't bother checking to see if she'd heard her. She made her way across the lawn toward Harry.

He was facing the opposite direction, still talking with Ron, Charlie, and George. Ron saw her approaching, and waved at her. The gesture caused Harry to turn, and Hermione donned what she hoped was a flirtatious grin, keeping her eyes on Harry. He caught on quickly, bless him, giving her a smirk, followed by a wink. As she came within arm's reach, his arm easily wound around her, and she stood on her tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek. "Might I borrow you?" she whispered, and he nodded.

"Sorry, boys," Harry said, and she could hear the smile in his voice. "My girl needs me."

"Take your time," Charlie teased.

Their jeers and catcalls followed them as they walked back toward the house. Harry leaned in to whisper in Hermione's ear. "What are you doing?" he asked. "They think we're going somewhere to snog."

"We are," she said simply.

Harry's steps faltered, and he nearly fell over. "Wha-huh? You—er—I-I mean—"

"Stop stuttering, Harry, you'll blow our cover," she scolded, then grabbed his hand, breaking out into a sprint toward the house. In order to keep up the charade, she started giggling as they raced up the stairs. She stopped in the landing between the second and third floors, putting them on the opposite side of the house from everyone else, with only one window betraying their location. She hurriedly drew the drapes, shielding them from view, and faced her partner in crime.

"Sorry," she muttered sheepishly. "I, er… had a conversation with Luna."

He frowned. "Luna?"

"Yeah. Apparently, Ron told her about… well, us. And she said we'd have to step up our game if we want to convince… certain people," she finished with emphasis.

His eyes widened. "Ah," he nodded. "I see."

Hermione cleared her throat. "So, erm, here we are. Pretending to snog."

"Guess it makes sense. But," he added, "if we just stay here for a minute and walk out looking exactly the same, no one's going to buy it."

Her heart sank. "Then what do we do?"

"We make it look like we have been snogging."

She frowned. "Well, how do we do that?"

Harry reached forward and tousled her hair a bit. It didn't make much of a difference, but to the curious eyes of their friends, it would be noticeable. He ran one hand through his own, which, to be honest, made no difference whatsoever. Then, he instructed her, "Pull your lips between your teeth and bite down—hard."

She did so, nearly crying out in pain as she bit down a little too hard. Harry did the same, even going so far as to gnaw on each lip separately. Hermione copied him, feeling ridiculous, but going with it all the same. The result, in Harry's case, at least, was a pair of red, raw-looking lips. He then pulled out his wand, casting a warming charm directly at Hermione's face. Her cheeks heated instantly, and she knew she would appear to be blushing a brilliant scarlet. Harry did the same to himself, and his face took on a vaguely pinkish hue. That's how he blushes? she mused in amazement. Not fair…

"There," he grinned with satisfaction. "Now we both look thoroughly snogged."

Hermione wasn't certain, but she believed she might have blushed for real. "So, are we good?"

"Yeah, we should be good. Let's head down." He took her hand, and they sauntered down the steps, preparing themselves for the inevitable reaction.

When they stepped outside, they found Dean and Seamus waiting right by the door, and were instantly greeted with whoops and catcalls. They were soon joined by George and Charlie, who each winked at them. In the distance, Viktor watched with a sour expression on his face.

"Let's have a kiss from the happy couple!" Charlie teased.

Hermione feared the carefully-placed color would drain from her face. Of course, she'd known this might happen, but to actually be forced into it now was mortifying. She glanced at Harry, who seemed almost as anxious, but he smiled, and his smile seemed to say, "We might as well get it over with." Silently agreeing, Hermione leaned in, and Harry mirrored her actions, until they met in the middle. It was a careful, chaste kiss, but Harry let his lips linger a few seconds longer than necessary.

"Oh, come on!" George teased. "I've seen old women kiss their grandbabies with more feeling!"

"George!" Molly scolded.

Harry lifted an eyebrow at him. "That's all you get, mate. I don't snog in public."

"Thank Merlin," Ron grumbled, followed by a quiet comment that sounded like, "Scarred for life."

Hermione's attention was caught by a blur of motion in the corner of her eye. Looking toward the movement, she found Viktor storming toward the house. She felt a tiny glimmer of remorse for hurting him, but reminded herself that this was the only way to keep him away.

The group of family and friends conversed for a while longer, until the fading light and gradual drop in temperature caused Hermione to shiver. Harry, having noticed, urged her to stand. "Well, it's been fun," he announced to the group, "but I should get her home." His comment was met with more whistles and lewd remarks, but they ignored them, walking to an open space and apparating to her flat.

Hermione sank onto the sofa, burying her head in her hands. "That was exhausting."

"Cheer up," Harry replied sunnily. "I think we managed to convince them."

"Happy-happy, joy-joy," she deadpanned, then looked up at him. "Sorry about earlier."

"What, the fake-snogging? Nah," he waved her off, "that's alright. Honestly, I think that was the deal-clincher. I don't think it would have been more obvious what we'd been up to if we'd been snogging for real. Good thinking," he winked.

Hermione lowered her head to hide the embarrassed blush that colored her cheeks at the idea of a real snog with Harry. Ugh. "Well, thanks for going along with it, anyway."

"No problem. Hey, we should meet for lunch tomorrow. Noon?"

She met his eyes again. "I'll be waiting."

"Perfect." He grinned and pressed his usual kiss to her head. "Until tomorrow, then."

A/N: I'm not good at coming up with small talk, in real life or in stories. That's why there's so little conversation during the dinner party. You know, just in case you were wondering.