- The Feeling That Is Different -
I stepped lightly through the glass plated doorway, white wash walls stark against the blue of the suit. It made my bust too large, my arms spindles. I narrowed my eyes at the table in front of me. Simply enough, there lay a small block of sharp cheddar, a vial of water, and a butter knife. My internal intuition begged for me to choose the serrated knife, in order to show my undaunted manner. I did so, not knowing the path ahead. Somewhere, a ding like sound rung through the air, my ears, my mind.
"Time to continue." I told myself; spun my knife, shining in the bright light. I was feeling lucky with the plan before me, and the next sight wasn't too difficult. A large dog padded around the room, nails clicking against the tiles of the floor. Noticing my presence, he turned, growled, ears flat against his head. I paced to him, knife in one hand, the other outstretched to him. He stiffened, plopped down, and whined softly at me. I rolled my eyes and stifled a laugh between my hands, the butter knife now resting heavily in the looped pocket suspending the length of my waist.
No danger permitted at this stage. Nothing I needed to be wary, to be afraid of. Yet, fear was something I was not supposed to feel.
"Tat?" "Yep." "What's the Chinese say?" "Air Conditioner." "No." "Yes."
The rest of the test remained a blurry image. I protected a child, slaughtered an animal, and stood face to face now with five large bowls.
The towering chamber was brightly lit, with tall ceilings housing tall glass windows. I marveled at the beauty before a woman broke my stargaze. "Well?" She spoke with heightened formality, if I was the one to be honored. "Aren't you going to choose?" To let my blood simmer, soak, dissolve, glide, or stand still. Wasn't my choice obvious? "Go on." She nodded to the bowls, every blond hair moving with her, balanced perfectly on her head. Strange. "Go." Her tone sharper.
I took a step toward the bowls, knife already pressing into the soft flesh of my hand. Palm turned up, my heart pounded in my ears and I found myself second guessing. I had to choose. Did I even want Dauntless? Did I want the smarts, or the kindness, or the honesty? The selflessness? Or did I want the respect, the honor, the bravery? I wasn't sure, not yet, not ever. The woman grew impatient, and I felt, for once in my life, ashamed, shunned, scared. I was, as Dauntless, supposed to be the one without care, not thinking of how others expected me to be lady-like. So why, all of a sudden, was I like this now?
With a rapid heartbeat and my head swimming with unanswered questions, I thrust my hand, and myself, forward, and to end the test, found myself seated in the same chair I fell asleep in. The woman in black smiled, hair drawn back from her face now.
"Glad to have you back in Dauntless, Leitora Blue."
A/N: I've been so late with this FanFiction. Sorry for two short chapters but, writers block is killing me, and I had to get this out. I really hope you all enjoy it so far!