This oneshot is based on episode 4x13 "Into the Wild" It's Klaus's perspective on what happened and a continuation of what might happen next. Please review! And while I'm still busy with Prowl, I might be doing more drabbles and oneshots soon, so send me a P.M. if you have any requests.
It was a sting of humiliation
"I know you're in love with me."
I didn't bother to deny it.
This wasn't how it was supposed to work.
He was in love with her. Or so he said. I simply fancied the girl. She was nothing but a brief flicker of entertainment.
I knew she might die. But he wouldn't let her. He was already so guilty, grief-stricken. From what may or may not have happened with the wolf girl, from the hybrids, from his mother. He was looking for redemption. He wanted to be her hero and put down the villain. Me.
So I took my shot. I hurt her. I dug a wooden spike into her stomach and skewered her, pulling her into my personal prison. And I bit down.
It was euphoric.
It's such a cliche that the girl you fancy has blood that tastes better than anything else. But it was true. Her blood was better. It was sugar and sunshine and everything I've ever pushed away for the sake of not being weak.
I can taste it now. It haunts me.
She's dying.
That mutt just shoved her at me, flung her on the floor like she was nothing.
You deal with her.
He's a coward.
I hate that he was my first hybrid.
I hate him.
I hate the mother that smiled at him and welcomed him home. I hate the friends that stood by his side. I hate her friends, who she hasn't asked to contact. Probably because she knows they won't be too broken up over her death. They're a fickle bunch. My first hybrid is the worst of them. I wish I never found him. I hate that he had a father and an uncle. A father to love him and an uncle to help him through the transition of being a wolf. Even dead, they were better than anything I ever had.
I should hate her. I thought I did in that instant. She was yammering on again about my not being worth her time. Always the same, as long as someone's listening. You see, all that protesting and glaring melts away when no one's watching. If it's just me and her, she still fights me, but she's playful, smiling. I should hate her.
I don't.
I hate who she is around them.
I hate that it's who she wants to be. It's who she won't let go of.
She could be so much more with me. I would bring her the world. I would let her be everything she never thought she could be. I would cross oceans to see that smile again.
But she sneered at me and I made her bleed.
Because I can't take another second of it.
From now on, I'll be a monster to her. I hurt her. She'll never look at me the same.
Good.
She should run.
I'm going to kill every last one of them, and she should run.
I hope she runs.
If she stands her ground and tries to defend them, I don't know what I would do.
But now she's on the couch, shivering, ready to die, looking at me like daggers. And he just left her here.
I think perhaps he's on the porch, waiting.
But I can't hear a breath. Nothing.
He left her. Assuming I would fix it. Assuming I would care enough for her to do it. Not bothering to grovel or bargain or recant his threats. I expect her mother to come bursting in with promises or offerings of her own. With all her friends so far away, her mother is the only one left to beg for Caroline's life. If Tyler was too proud to do it himself, he could have sent the mother. But no one's coming for her.
And then something happened.
She said things to me, and I thought for a second, perhaps it's not all over.
""I know you're in love with me."
She's playing you. She'll say anything to stay alive.
But I bite my wrist anyway and force it over her mouth.
Her fingers wrap around my wrist as my blood brings her back and it's everything I've ever wanted. In this one moment, she clings to me for life. She needs me. She is glad I'm there to save her, even if I'm the one who caused this.
And she sighs, she stops drinking. I wipe away tears I don't want her to see. And I pull her closer, her back against my chest. Somehow, she falls asleep, delirious in the healing process that chases the toxin from her veins.
I love her.
She said it and I didn't know it was true until that instant.
But I do.
And there's more.
He hasn't burst in yet to scoop her up and gloat over his victory.
He left her here with me on a chance that I would care.
I love her more. I love her more than he does, even though I'm the one who bit her, stabbed her through the stomach.
I'm selfish. Petty. Rage-driven.
But I'm older than him. Smarter. More patient. And there's something else.
I know I only made her smile a few times. But it was different. I know it was. I can make her happier.
Because I love her more.
I am the evil one. Pure evil. And somehow I'm the one who loves her the most.
Never fall asleep when someone's angry with you, unless you enjoy waking up to pain.
I find myself forgetting the rules I've outlined over the years.
I fell asleep, shifting our bodies on the couch. It's been a very long time since I've allowed myself to sleep next to someone else. The closest I've come this century would be collapsing next to a body I've recently drained. But she's asleep, still recovering from the bite I gave her, and she twists a little, fists balling up the fabric of my shirt. I wonder if she'll run away from me the minute she wakes, or if she'll stay to berate me.
But then I drift out.
My dreams are cloaked in the smell of her hair, the occasional whimpers and sighs she makes in her sleep.
"Tyler, put that down!" she shouts.
My eyes snap open.
She's on the other side of the house, past the border of what I can reach. Immediately, I feel regret. I should have stayed awake, I should have held on tighter. I could still carry on the charade if I could hold her hostage. Now he's got her back and I have nothing to bargain with.
"Tyler." she repeats. "Put. It. Down."
He's holding some kind of spring-loaded device stacked with vervain grenades. I roll my eyes and get off the couch, standing with my palms out. Go ahead, have at it.
"It's not going to kill him anyway." she hissed.
"No, but it'll hurt." he said, locking eyes with me.
"Did you not hear anything I just said? What did we just talk about? Did we learn nothing from this? Don't poke the dragon, Tyler."
"Care, I'm not really in the mood to be compassionate towards people that try to kill you."
"No but you're in the mood to leave me with them? Just banking on them feeling bad enough to save me?"
"It worked, didn't it?"
"What if it didn't? If I died, my last few hours would have been with him. Not you."
"But you didn't. I knew he wouldn't let you!"
"Oh really, you just knew. That's great, Ty. You just knew."
He looked down, ashamed.
"Now help me move this out of here." she said, motioning towards Kol's body, still rotting on the kitchen floor.
"You're serious? After what he did we should chuck it in there with him."
"Fine, I'll do it myself." she snipped, bending down to tuck the edges of the blanket around Kol's body.
Tyler tried to protest, but Caroline had already blurred away.
I leaned against the wall, staring down my former protégé. Hate radiated from both of us. I know he loathes me just as much as I do him.
"She's probably going to chuck him in a dumpster." Tyler smirked. "Just so you know."
"Why don't you run home to mommy. Oh wait..."
It feels good. My mother didn't love me and now his can't love him either.
"You know what, I don't need to be here. I'll go home as soon as she gets back. Caroline and I are going to go back to my big empty house. How ever will we pass the time?"
I chuckled. I was supposed to be jealous of Tyler, tormented by the thought of the two of them together? Two could play that game.
"You know, I still can't get the taste of her blood out of my mind. She's delicious, isn't she?"
Tyler just glared at me.
"Oh, that's right. You can't bite her without killing her. That's your wolf side. But the vampire side of you wants to. Especially when you two are passing the time, as you call it. And she wants it too. After all, she's all vampire. For her, blood sharing is sex, and sex without blood sharing... well, I'm sure you know she's never really sated."
"Shut up."
"I bet it's hard to hold back. Your fangs come out, and you want to bite down so much. I bet you even drag them across her skin, wishing you could press down. You know every time you do that, she must be thinking about how easily you could kill her with a bite. How she'd have to come to me and only me."
"Jealous much? Why don't you find someone else to creep on, you disgusting old man."
"I'd imagine you're the jealous one. After all, I can bite her and heal her. You can't."
"I don't want to bite her."
"Are you still pretending that you don't crave blood sharing every time you've been with her, since you've become a hybrid? Or with anyone, for that matter. I doubt that wolf girl was fond of it, wolves are more scratchers than biters in that department."
Tyler glared back at me, lips pressed tight. He was clenching every muscle to avoid shaking with anger. It felt fantastic to watch him like this. Feeling as cornered as I felt stuck in this horrible room.
"I think you knew I would heal her. And she thinks you left her alone with me so you wouldn't have to watch her die." I said. "But I know the real reason you weren't here. You couldn't stand the sight of it. Her, shifting in my lap, her lips on my skin, my blood coursing through her body. And if there was any doubt in your mind, the unmistakable smell of her arousal would have cleared that right up."
Tyler flung a wooden stake at me. As if that would do anything.
I caught it and threw it back.
Tyler ducked and it went crashing through the window behind him.
It escalated, each of us on opposite sides of the invisible barrier, flinging anything we could get our hands on.
"Stop."
Caroline was standing in the doorway, hair wet and smelling like she just stepped out of the shower.
"Tyler, step out of the house." she commanded.
He walked to the doorway, looking for her to follow. But she took a step closer to me instead. I watched with my full attention. What was she doing?
"Care?" Tyler asked.
"Someone has to clean this place up. And since you two can't be near each other without a war breaking out, looks like it's me."
"I'm not leaving you here alone with him."
"Why, because he might try to kill me again? Yeah, I got it. I'm not going anywhere near that side of the house again. But something needs to be done with this kitchen."
"I'll stay with you."
"No, Tyler."
"So you and him alone in here? Is that really a good idea?"
"Let's see, you and him alone in here ends in screaming, threats, and destruction of furniture and windows. You and me and him here ends with me getting stabbed and bitten by him." She paused to glare at me for a beat. "And dropped at his feet and left for dead by you. Meanwhile, somehow he and I get along when you're not here. So go, so I can get some stuff done."
I feel triumphant. Giddy almost, at how much this angers him. His pretty little girlfriend wants to stay here with me. She wants him to leave. How does it feel, Tyler?
"Caroline. Just leave the mess, it's fine."
"Go."
Tyler glanced over to me, trying to send a warning with a mediocre glare.
"He's fine. I'll stay far away from the border. Just go." she insists.
Tyler hesitated, then nodded.
"Fine. You want to be alone with him so much, fine." he spat out, glancing back and forth at the two of us.
"Tyler! It's not like that." she protested.
But it will be, I thought. If there's any hope at all, it will be like that.
He shook his head and walked out, slamming the door behind him like a child.
"How ever are we going to pass the time?" I asked Caroline, smiling innocently.
The mailbox went hurtling through the front window, flying just left of my face before it landed on the carpet.
I smirked as we watched Tyler storm away, pleased with myself for finding just the right comment to drive the boy mad when he was still in earshot.
"He has quite the temper, doesn't he?" I mused.
She padded around the kitchen in bare feet, gathering the mess, mostly just pretending to look busy and trying not to to look at me. She would glance over occasionally, lips tilted down ever so slightly. Disappointed.
I watched her, sitting on the other side of my cage, feeling things I shouldn't have allowed to register.
Guilt and shame.
I hurt her. I made a play with her life in the balance, knowing she could die because of my direct actions. I ignored the options Tyler presented, bargaining for her life. I let her leave, knowing she might not come back. That her stubbornness might mean she would choose death over looking at me again. She said she couldn't even look at me.
And the shame went deeper. She knew I loved her. It dug into my gut and chewed me up from the inside. It was the greatest embarrassment in over a thousand years. She knew. I loved her. I was pathetic. I saved her out of my own weakness. I endangered her out of my own selfishness. I hurt her because she said a few cutting words while standing too close and I saw an opportunity to use her to hurt Tyler. And I loved her.
"If I come over there, are you going to hurt me?" she asked quietly.
I looked up.
She was standing in the kitchen, holding two blood bags. She seemed nervous.
I shook my head, looking down. How could I look in her eyes, knowing she knew? It was worms in my chest. It was rotting despair.
"I drank a lot of vervain this morning." she warned.
"That must have been unpleasant."
"Not as bad as dying from a hybrid bite."
I sighed. "I'm not going to hurt you."
"You're not going to hurt me again." she said.
Right. Because just last night I drove a sharp object into her stomach and bit her. Bit hard and took a few deep gulps of her blood for good measure. I can still taste it. I think I'll always remember it.
She took a deep breath and walked across the room, settling down on the sofa. I carefully approached, aware that she tensed up a little as I drew closer, then I sat down next to her. Not touching, but close enough that she would have to be very aware of her movements if she didn't want to bump into me. It was a dirty trick. I knew she would be less affected by an actual touch than this near touch, this almost, this lingering tension of being almost there. But I had long ago stopped playing fair.
We drank our blood bags in silence. It was nothing compared to the taste of hers.
"You shouldn't be giving me this" I said, motioning to the bag she gave me. "Your friends will want me weak and starving when this spell wears off and I can get out of here."
"I'm not... You know I didn't know about this? The plan to kill Kol, or to trap you in here."
"I suppose I believe you. If you were part of it, they would have had an easier time luring me into a trap by using you as bait."
"Because you wouldn't suspect anything if it was me leading you into a trap?"
"Because I would go anyway."
Her breath caught. I tried to smile, but I knew it would look forced. No point in pretending otherwise. We both knew she was my weakness. Last night proved it.
"I'm a thousand years old, Caroline. I knew what you were doing all those times you distracted me from whatever your friends were doing to try to bring me down."
"I'm not going to do it again. Between Tyler and Elena, I'm always caught in the middle of someone's plan. they never work out without someone getting hurt. I don't want to be part of it anymore."
"I don't think you're going to have a choice."
"What they did to your brother was wrong. It wasn't necessary. And everyone that must have died with him... they didn't deserve to be killed for a war they didn't even know was going on."
It was the first time I'd heard her admit that maybe, just maybe, I'm not the only one doing wrong. I wouldn't come out and apologize for last night. She knew I was both sorry and not sorry. She understood me enough to know.
I breathed in and smelled her, floral shampoo and fruity body wash. I'm glad she showered after whatever she did with my brother's body. Otherwise she would carry hints of it with her, probably Tyler too. I'm sure at some point today he had touched her. Filthy disgusting little mutt.
"He's going to smell me on you." I said. I tried not to smirk. I really did.
"What?"
"Tyler. You told him you wouldn't come near me, but here you are."
"He's not going to smell-"
"It's a wolf thing. When I fed you my blood last night, I could smell him all over you."
"I guess he'll have to get over it." she shrugged.
"Caroline."
"I'm not ready to talk about last night. About what I said or about what we both know last night meant."
I nodded.
"And you can't kiss me."
I thought that went without saying. Why did she even feel the need to tell me that?
"Because if you do, I know I'll kiss you back. And I'll never forgive myself for it. Because I don't ever want to be the person who cheats and I can't just leave him. Not now. So you can't.
Don't smirk. Don't smirk. Don't smirk. For once in your life, try not to be such a dick.
We sat in silence for a while. Why did she have to tell me not to kiss her? Now all I could think about was kissing her. I wondered if this was one of those games. That she was telling me not to because it was exactly what she wanted. But after much deliberation, I decided not to push my luck.
"What did you do with my brother?" I asked.
She pulled her phone out of her pocket.
"I thought you might want to see, so I took a picture."
I reached for the phone, fingers brushing against hers. Electric. Magnetic. Hands that had wrapped around my wrist as she drank my blood.
I looked at the picture on the phone.
It was a clearing in the woods, near where the old village was. I knew the place. I was human there. She must have known where it was to pick it. Elijah had told Elena. Perhaps the doppleganger passed on the knowledge.
There was a mound of fresh dirt among the grass. A smooth stone marked the place, and next to it sat a handful of wildflowers.
"You didn't have to do that." I said, swallowing a lump in my throat.
I pictured her, lugging around the charred body of what used to be Kol. Digging through dirt. Picking flowers. Finding a stone. All to give a proper burial to my brother. She didn't even like him. They had met in passing once or twice. He was nothing to her. Why would she go through the trouble for him?
"I know. I wanted to. He was your family." she said.
She didn't do it for Kol. She did it for me. She probably would have done the same if she got a chance yesterday before I attacked her. I didn't think it was possible to hate myself more. I loathe the person I am.
"I almost killed you last night."
"But you didn't. You chose to keep me alive."
"I drove a stake in your stomach. You spent hours in agony as I watched, refusing to end it."
"It's going to take me some time to get over that. But I don't want you to think I'll never be over it. And those things I said right before, that's not how I really feel. It's just all so complicated."
"You're here, though."
"I'm here."
I looked at the picture again.
"When I get out of here, It's going to start. You should get as far away as possible."
"They're my friends."
"And this was my family. This is my survival."
"I can't just..."
"I'm not asking you to betray them or help me. I'm just asking you to stay away from it."
"I'm not sure if I can promise that." she said.
"I'll tell Elijah and Rebekah about what you did for Kol. They'll remember it when all this starts."
"So this is the calm before the storm?"
"Unless Kol was right. Then it's not just going to be a storm. It'll be an apocalypse."
She hesitantly shifted to face me. I looked back at her, all sadness and longing. I wanted to kiss her. I wanted everything. But I couldn't have it. I stayed still. For now, all I could do was look at her and wish.
Then she hugged me.
I waited for a dagger or needle full of vervain to pierce me in the back, but it never came. She was just hugging me. Hugging the monster that bit her last night. The worst person in the world.
Hesitantly, I reached around her and held her close, one hand finding her hair. I let my fingers get lost in it again.
With her face buried in my chest and my chin on her head, I mouthed the words I couldn't say out loud. The words I wondered if I'd ever get a chance to really say.
I love you.