Wow, I'm shocked how many of you like this story, I'm going to continue it, my goal is that i finish the approximately 24 chapters before school begins again, that means I have about nine weeks, we shall see if I can compleat this goal. I will also attempt to work on my other stories. Wish me luck.

I've been home about six months now

And I still have my doubts

I'm not sure how I got here

Or how I'm gonna get out

My Mama says I look the same

As I did before I left

But if she could see inside of me

It would scare her to death

I can still taste the powder

From the barrel of my gun

I can hear my Sergeant screaming,

"Run, Soldier, run."

I can feel the backpack on my shoulders

God, it weighed a ton

I see death in every single thought

They taught me how to put that uniform on

I just can't get it off

Last Saturday they honored us

In a small parade downtown

When they shot off those fireworks

I nearly hit the ground

While they smiled and cheered for us

All I could do was stare

Cuz part of me is here at home

And part of me's back there

Dear Merida,

I'm writing this because Dr. Austin says "It'll be good to get what I'm not telling her out." Her words, I think it's a fucking load of bull crap, but I guess I should, just so Anna sees I'm trying.

Why you? I suppose you're wondering, well should she have me read this crap to whoever I'm writing to, I won't see your reaction, if she pushes, I'll leave it at your stone.

Every time I close my eyes I'm back over in that damned hell hole, and you and Mulan are hurt and me and Belle are pinned or hurt to. Or we're in the car on that stupid run and then the cars on its side, and me and Mulan are hanging on our sides and you and Belle are unconscious.

Aunt Helen and Punzie and even Uncle Aaron all think I'm fine, Anna would too if she didn't have to wake up fucking nightly from my nightmares.

Last night's was bad, it was that day of our first kill, do you remember? He was 24 and had a kid at home, he also left me with a bullet in my good arm and Belle with a limp, it's even more obvious now, she can't even attempt to hide it now, that explosive caused a ton of internal damage, she was in so much pain that they actually didn't realize on of her ribs had snapped until around six week after we were hurt.

Mulan was fitted for prosthetic legs this past week, knowing her she'll be trying to run marathons within the next six months. I think her and Shang may move to town soon, he has friends here and me and Belle are here for her.

I need to get over these nightmares, I lost an arm, could've been worse, I almost lost my legs too, I got lucky that they could repair them.

I'm home now, why do I still feel like I'm over there, it's like my brain is split, one part here, with Anna and the rest of my friends and family, and the other part I must've left in Iraq.

I'm alive, that's more then they could say for a lot of the people they sent over there, that's more than I can say for you.

Well, that's more then I thought I'd write, they can't say I didn't give them anything.

Signing out, Elsa

I slam the leather bound book shut before putting it on my bedside table before standing up and leaving my room "Going on a run!" I grab my phone and keys as I yell, leaving the house before I even get a response.

Putting my headphones in I quickly fall into beat and start running, not stoping or slowing down until my entire body is begging me to.

AoVAoVAoVAoVAoVAoVAoVAoVAoVAoVAoVAoVAoVAoVAoVAoVAoVAoVAoVAoV

Two years ago

"Ready?" My aunt asks peaking into my room

"Almost." I say pulling at my royal purple robe again before putting my stole and honor cord and allowing her to even them both out before putting on shoes and brushing a couple bangs out of my face "Now I am."

Two weeks later I finish putting the last few items in my duffle bag when Rapunzel comes in "Are you ready to go?" She says not able to totally keep the sadness out of her voice

"Nearly," I look at the room I had spent the last 18 years in, the walls now bare, the room empty save for my duffle bag and my bed, I run my hand over the wall before nodding and pulling the bag onto my shoulder.

Walking through the nearly empty house, it's hard to believe this is the same house that just a few months ago held so much laughter and life.

When I get down they're all waiting for me, my aunt is the first to approach me, fixing my already in place hair before hugging me and whispering in my ear "They'd be so proud of you." Before pulling back, her eyes shiny

Repunzle goes next "Good luck, come back."

My uncle and Anna are coming with me to the airport

When we get there I turn to my uncle first, "See ya soon, kid." He says giving me a small hug "You'll do great."

"I hope so." He then takes a few steps away from us I turn to my sister "I'll call you as soon as I can, when I get there." I offer

"I'll be waiting until I hear from you."

"Behave. Be brave, I'll be home before you know it." We both know I'm lying "Can you hold on to something for me?" I reach for the thin chain around my neck, carefully placing it in her hand

"They're rings! But what if I lose them?"

"You won't. Knowing you, you'll never take them off." I say with a watery laugh, I look up at the giant clock in the lobby "I need to go." I kiss her cheek and giving her a hug, which she leans into, before stepping back "I'll see you soon. I love you, Anna." Before I begin to walk away

"I love you too, Elsa." I hear just before I get to the security counter, I know they'll stay till my plane leaves, and I'll probably be back here in less then two years but I can't help but feeling that I'm leaving my home for the last time.