The whole ordeal must have started months before now. I found myself dropping hints about my identity as Kira without meaning. Many times, it was only in front of people like Matsuda, so I didn't notice at first because he never caught on.
But L did.
He would shoot me odd glances on occasion after I would say something about the case. I could tell he was starting to suspect me more and more as the days wore on. I eventually realized that I was the reason he seemed to always be drawing closer to arresting me.
It might have been the fact that he was closing in that drove me to take the risks I did. I started making bolder moves than I ever though I would: keeping pieces of Death Note in my pocket instead of the compartment in my watch or wallet; discussing in-depth matters about Shinigami and the like with B while Mello stood a scant ten feet away, knowing the blond would eagerly report back to L.
I think it would have been easier to turn myself in rather than to have played that game for so much longer than necessary.
Oh, well. Too late now.
Now that I can look back, I realize something: every move I made was meant to draw L and the other investigators to the conclusion that I was Kira. It strikes me as odd that I would strive to leave no evidence of myself as Kira for so long only to hand my rival the evidence he would need to convict me.
I guess it really doesn't matter whether I wanted to get caught or not, only the fact that I was.
L won on Halloween.