Well...squeezed 2 chapters out of this so far!

The memorial service was small and while sad, it gave Elsie a chance to say goodbye. She loved on her nephews and nieces and promised to be there for them. Charles stood aside and watched her, observed her mannerisms with them and ached inside, for what might have been for them at one time. She was a nurturer. He couldn't help but think of what a good mother she would have been. "I've been such a fool,' he thought.

That evening, they all sat around the table; Charles,Elsie, William, and the kids. They played card games and talked about Lillian and cried and laughed until their sides hurt. They drank too much scotch, loosened their clothes and acted entirely too improper. Charles had never had a better time in his life. He felt home, loved and wanted among these people that were hers..not his. It was the wee hours of the morning when everyone decided they must get on to bed.

Sleeping arrangements were made, all of her nieces and nephews were married and with children of their own but all lived nearby. They kissed Elsie and hugged Charles good night and William retired to his bedroom. Elsie watched him walk down the hall and she broke down crying. Charles crossed the kitchen and wrapped her in his arms, something he was getting mighty good at.

"He'll make it love. He's got the kids and grandkids..." His rich, mellow voice soothed her to her very core.

Elsie's heart had been so full the last few days, with grief, sorrow, sadness, but especially with love for him. He had been so kind and gentle with her. She watched him now as he put away the cards from the table. The kids acted particularly fond of him and she was proud that he was with her. She imagined their life together, as a married couple, wondered if that might ever happen.

"You fancy some tea?" She asked quietly. "I'm sorry Charles...you probably want to get to bed."

"No..no...I would love a cup of tea," he answered a little too eagerly. "Besides..I'm a little wound up...would be hard to fall asleep now."

"Yeah..I know what you mean." She turned away from him to put the kettle on and got 2 cups out of the cupboard. Before she could say another word he glanced toward her and saw her shoulder slump and start to shake. Charles got up and was at her side in 2 steps. He put his hands on her shoulders to brace her and she could not stop the tears. She wept. He wrapped his arms around her, enveloped her with his body, his cheek against her head.

"Oh Elsie..." he whispered. "I'm so sorry she's gone..."

She pulled away and cried through her words. "My sister... had a good life. She did exactly what she wanted...she married and had a family, raised her children and enjoyed her grandchildren. She was truly happy." She broke again and sobbed into her hands.

"Well...that's...a...a good thing Elsie." He didn't understand.

"I know..." she nodded. "So why would she die now? She has so much in her life, so many people that rely on her and need her here."

He felt so incompetent as her friend right now. He wanted to take away her pain but didn't know how and that made Charles Carson flustered. "I...I don't know Elsie. I don't know why things happen the way they do."

"I wish it had been me..." Elsie looked at him, tears streaming down her cheeks. "If I could've taken her place, I would."

It shook Charles to hear her talk like that. "Oh Elsie...don't say that!"

"I do! Don't you see Charles?" She calmed down a bit and sniffed up the emotion, wiped her eyes. "I have nothing to show for the life I chose. I have no family..no husband, children...grandchildren. I just don't understand why God would not leave her here with her family. They need her." She turned her back to him again to remove the kettle. "No one needs me. Not really..."

Charles' hazel orbs filled with tears. It hurt him to the core of his being to hear her say such words. For in his mind, there was no one he needed more than her. He suddenly felt so very sad for not having the courage to tell her how he has felt for so long. He had taken for granted her presence in his life. He just figured she would always be there and he would get around to letting her know, marrying her, if she would have him. But now, he was aware of the precious years they had lost. He struggled to keep his tears at bay and lowered his head. Elsie noticed as she poured his tea.

"I need you Elsie Hughes. I've always needed you, for as long as I can remember." His voice was barely above a whisper and didn't look up.

She suddenly felt ashamed of those words and sat down next to him. "I'm sorry Charles. I just...can't make sense of it all."

He raised his head, the glimmer in his hazel orbs made her heart clench tight. The corner of his mouth went up slightly and he reached across the table, laying his hand palm up. Elsie placed her hand in his, they sat in the silence for a long while just gazing at each other. He finally spoke. "You are significant to a lot of people. Just because you aren't a mother...or grandmother or..." he sat up on the edge of his chair and covered their clasped hands. "...or a married woman...does not mean you don't have value. You chose the same path I chose for a reason. And at the time, it was what we wanted. And Elsie...you're so damn good at what you do." He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. "The best...there is. You've been a mother to lot of young lads and lasses over the years. You've dried their tears and calmed their fears, listened with a mother's ear and watched with mothering eyes. You mean a lot to a lot of people and especially...me."

"Oh Charles..." she leaned over and stroked his cheek. He leaned into it and closed his eyes. "How do you know just what I need?" she whispered.

His eyes flicked open and he took her hand that was caressing his face and brought it to his lips. "Because I love you Elsie. I am madly in love with you." He swallowed the lump of emotion in his throat and tried to keep his breathing at a steady rhythm . He actually could not believe he had just told her this but the last 2 days had been so emotionally heavy; they had never been more open and raw and he didn't mean for it to come out, it just did and he waited with baited breath for her reaction.

Elsie sat calmly, tears streaming down her face and smiled. "Those are the sweetest words I've ever heard." Charles gave up the fight of controlling his own tears and the spilled down his cheeks. He slid off the chair, to his knees and wrapped his arms around her waist, laid his head in her lap. Elsie placed her hands on his head, then his neck, his back. "Will you kiss me Charles."

TBC...