Chapter 2: Some People Make You Want To Die Twice
Suddenly the horses flickering ears stopped swatting the air lazily as they glanced up in the direction of the growing midday sun, their tails fanning the desert flies and teargnats that so irritatingly disturbed them. A shadowed outline of a huge four-legged creature was making its way quickly towards the other herds location, a spectacle any other person would deem moderately natural in this environment. However the unusual aspect was the unanticipated addition, who was being drug headfirst under the desert sand by a long rope from the tail of the animal , nearly trampled and stampeded as they shouted begrudgingly at the animal amidst swears to stop moving in between gulps of breath and hacking out huge lungfuls of sand.
The noise caught Kanaya's attention, and she slowly looked towards the large creature. Her mind was arush with considerations and scenarios. Hmm. Her compassionate side reared its head and contemplated a valiant rescue. Should she rescue the person being drug though the sand? Her rationality also had a say in her decision. Perhaps she should instead wait to see if it was someone who probably deserved this devious mistreatment. Like Eridan. Or Gamzee. Or possibly, to her slight amusement Vriska. In the end, her generosity won over logic, as amusing as it was to humor the thought of Vriska face down in the dirt. Perhaps she had better go rescue the poor soul. There was no telling how she would deal with the noise if she didn't. It wasn't much of a peaceful scence without the peace and quiet element included. She hopped up from her resting spot on a root of the acacia tree and started sprinting towards the beast, revved up. Then, in one deft swift motion, she sliced the tether that the person was being dragged from into two freeing him from the tormenting bondage.
He snapped from the rope rolling backwards and sliding in the sand as the animal kicked and bucked prancing as it ran, grateful to have the useless sack of dead weight dragging behind him removed from hindering its movement once more. The individual being dragged behind laid in the sand facedown, groaning and practically vomiting dirt and leaves, peices of tumbleweed sticking from his now perfectly ruined ducktail. He stayed still for the most part, moving only to look up and cast a glance at the shaded figure that helped him. From his perspective, the only noticeable quality was the fact the figure was more or less female and even in his obviously ..rustled state he still had the strength and conciousness to cast a smooth dirtfilled sharp smile at her. "Say svweetheart... " he began almost surprisingly nonchalantly. "i hawve a question that vwould graciously be begging to be brought to your attention."
She gazed at him apalled. Who WAS this guy who was so blatantly oblivious to his injuries that he would go so far as to make a pass at the first person he saw? "I Beg Your Pardon But Arent You More Worried About Any Injuries Youve Sustained.. Or More Importantly The Fact That You Have Sand Vomit On Your Face." He cast a lazy disoriented smile in her direction. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, honey, any person vworth their vweight in boons knowvs that smidge of moral by heart. unless youre one of those superficial gals but in the opinion of a professional beholder, youre a sight for this seadwvellers third eye. if youre as svweet as you look vwe can alwvays play a bit of role and you can fit the nurses position vwhich at this point in time vwould honestly be more than appreciated, you knowv." Saying this, he rolled onto his side laying limply in the sand. "i'd lovwe to pass a fewv trivwialities doll, but for some reason im feeling the need to just... rest my eyes a bit. if you stand there looking pretty im sure the least you can do for my situation is to givwe me svweet dreams vwhile i take a short breather." He gave her what could only be assumed was a poor attempt at a wink and fell back into the sand drowsily.
The first thing that came to Kanaya's mind as she listened to this moron prattle on was "Wow He Is Bad At Hitting On People And I Am Way Out Of His League." I Dont Think Youre Supposed To Sleep If You Have A Concussion. It Is Quite Obvious To Even The Most Dimwitted Of Persons That You Need Medical Attention Immediately. If You Would Be So Kind As To Stand Up Ill Find You Some Bandages And Ice... Somehow."
He coughed out another lungful of dirt, and rubbed the sand and debris out of his hair the best that he could taking a step forward, his ankle falling a bit to the side. "ah, crud..you have got to be pulling my leg." He mutters to himself leaning down to stroke his ankle and attempts to take another step forward. "Don't vworry."he said seeing the slight concern that seemed to flash across her eyes. However he could've been just seeing the sunlight passing over her pupils and mistaken it for romantic concern. " Its nothing but a little.. medium contusions and bruising on the uhh, neo-lateral hercules ankle muscle. Be sure to trust me vwhen i say it happens all the time."
His charming toothy smile was nothing short of irritating to the intellectual female who could tell it was evident he had no idea what he was talking about. Her palm connected with her forehead roughly, and she grabbed him by the wrist, beginning to drag him back to the acacia tree." I Hope You Realize That None Of What You Just Said Made Any Sense Whatsoever Now For The Love Of Humanity Come With Me And Ill Fix You Up." Once at the tree, Kanaya sat him down grimacing at the nature of the bruises. She was quite surprised he was still alive. It took her a moment to recollect their situation and she finally remembered they were both dead and sighed."Stay Here And Ill Find Something To Put On These." She said simply. Alright, now where are the drugstores in the desert. Actually where are the drugstores on Alternia? Why must this be so difficult? She looked around at the vast landscape, but all she saw was sand. cleared her throat and turned back to the obnoxious patient sitting under the tree. "You Wouldnt Happen To Know Where To Find Bandages In This Wasteland Would You?"
He chuckled heartily moving to poke at the bruise on his leg."Hard to gather your bearings vwhen your face is 2 feet under the earth doll. im just as lost as you are. i probably wvouldwve gone on for eternity had i not been blessed vwith someone at least moderately pleasing to be around. so thanks for that. i couldvwe gotten out myself but O8VWIOUSLY i vwas just lovwing the vwiewvpoint. can't say im complaining nowv, though in all honesty." He leaned against the tree, the unlit cigarette in his mouth as he dug apathetically into his earfin and shook the bits of sand out the sides and off his obviously inappropriately worn leather jacket.
Was he still trying to flirt with her? Like seriously? And why was he wearing a leather jacket in this heat? All this troll's actions perplexed her. She stared out at the small pool of water, and an idea crossed her mind. This would solve two problems. "Give Me Your Jacket I Need It." His jovial mood turned suspicious."Vwhat? vwhat could you possibly need it for?" He scrutinized the sudden eagerness in her voice and immediately backed up, his eyes following her glances direction. "oh no vway swveetheart. as much as im open to sharing the lovwe this being one of them my clothes arent up for just grabs ya know this jacket is one of the things that make me feel like myself. putting the fact youre vwillingly asking me to strip aside."
She pinched the bridge of her nose and exhaled sharply. This troll was a prime example of obnoxious behavior and how to quickly dissipate the fabric of patience. "If You'd Rather Sit There With Gravel In Your Stomach And Nothing To Keep Your Skin Cool Then Fine But Id Rather Not Do That So Give Me The Jacket Before I Rip It Off Of You!" She took up a more threatening and intimidating stance. Cronus scoffed in haughty amusement. "you can't possibly be serious. im a bit big for you don't you think" his smug smile was nothing short of infuriating as he leaned back under the shade. "no offense swveetheart but if anything couldn't you use that tacky dustbitten rag thats covering your legs because personally in my opinion its a needless obstruction and im sure you'd be more comfortable vwithout it."
She turned to him slowly, eye twitching. Her hands balled into fists and a vein on her forehead bulged slightly."What Did You Just Say? I Beg You To Please Repeat That. Did You Just Call My Skirt A Tacky Dustbitten Rag."She took a step forward, eye still twitching in clouded anger. "Take It Back And Give Me Your Jacket Or Im Leaving You Here And Cutting Down The Tree." He looked back at the tree and back at her the grin never leaving his face. "that seems like a bit of a conflict of interest don't you think i mean vwithout the tree vwhat is there to keep you from smoldering under this heat, in my opinion you already seem a bit fired up from my perspectivwe." He said as he wiped a bit of ash from her shirt. " but im a really nice guy and considerate of all potential interests that cross my path and you seem relativwely stable in form. so in my generosity ill take this time to be the ultimate bigger person and just admit the charade swveetheart .im just givwing you a hard time. theres no need for you to get so vworked up over nothing, especially that old rag as a friend im simply being honest." He slid out of his jacket and rolled up his sleeves, revealing white lines tracing his biceps in the form of scars and tossed it onto her idle chainsaw in an unusually cheerful manner and began to limp towards the water, as Kanaya sat, her skin nearly glowing from the rage smoldering underneath that threatened to boil over.
If it wasnt obvious enough already, this man, no this cretin's prescence here was unduly and frankly Kanaya was beginning to wonder if she was being punished for a lack of servitude in her past life. If so, it was at this moment that she began to know the true pains of regret. How much longer would she have to put up with this morons antics?