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Operation: Swagger V Insanity

Chapter Two – The Meeting

I like to think I'm a reasonable man. My patience is often tested, but I'm fair and I like to do what is best for this country. If that means not having a decent night's sleep for years, then so be it.

But when CJ calls me at 1am to sort out Donna's love life, I have to wonder - why am I not in a strait jacket by now? Where in my job description does it say that I have to play cupid for my loved-up colleagues? It says nowhere.

Even better yet, I'm playing cupid for the wrong couple! Somehow, I got picked out by my 'friends' to be the one to tell Josh that Donna and Will are something of an 'item'. Will refuses to do this himself because he's afraid of getting his ass kicked. Donna can't do it because she doesn't want to see Josh's reaction to the news.

Do I really care? No. The only reason I agreed to Swagger V Insanity is because Josh is indeed driving me insane. He's driving people crazy with the bambi-esque eyes that have been permanently set in his face over the last few weeks.

The women here think it's 'really sweet'. I just think Josh could do with being locked in a room for a few hours, with Donna, and not be let out until he tells her he loves her. Then maybe we can get 'McGarry's Boy' back in the White House, tearing apart the opposition.

To be honest, the fact that Josh is driving me crazy isn't really why I'm doing this. While it may make me feel uncomfortable to admit this, I owe Josh a favour. Josh sought out my father, whom I have not spoken to for many years, and got me reunited with him. I was furious at first, but now I couldn't imagine life without my father being nearby. It makes me wonder how Josh copes being without Noah Lyman.

Josh is a lonely man, and it seems making him happy means breaking a few workplace ethics.

Now, you'd think after the many years I've been working as a speechwriter for various politicians, and currently being the President's Communications Director, I would not have a problem having a one-on-one chat with the Deputy Chief of Staff about something personal. Unfortunately, something very rare has happened to me. I honestly don't know what I'm going to say to Joshua Lyman. My mind is a blank. I know this is all a ruse, but the man doesn't know that, and he is going to be beyond devastated. I mean, not only is Donna going to be dating someone else, she's to be dating a guy who has barely finished his 'hazing' for a job that Sam Seaborne held barely a month ago. That's what I call a socially awkward situation.

I've just walked out of a meeting with President Bartlet and Leo. I can see Josh in my office, sitting calmly in my visitor's chair. I slowed my walk, trying to get some kind of order in my mixed-up mind. I'm just wondering whether it might be a good idea if CJ does this...oh wonderful, he's seen me.

"Hey, Toby!" he yelled out to me from my doorway. "Don't work yourself too hard there. I have all the time in the world."

I can see Josh is impatient, and I once again quickened my steps.

"Make yourself at home why don't you," I said sarcastically as Josh seated himself back in the chair and folded his legs on my newly-cleaned desk.

"What's the matter?" He asked, looking surprised.

I tried to put a impassive expression on my face, but I see all that's doing is creating more concern. After all, I'm not known for my impassive, social niceties. I cleared my throat, and sat down in my chair.

"Ok, I don't have a lot of time, but I've been instructed to tell you this," I began, clearing my throat once more. Now Josh is just looking amused. I really must look ridiculous. 'Instructed' to tell you this? I've never used a phrase like that in my life.

"Toby, what's going on?" Josh's eyes danced with mirth and I'm feeling a sudden inclination to hit him with my rubber ball.

Then I remembered Will has taken a liking to it. Damn him.

"Toby?" Josh stared at me curiously across the desk. He's looking worried now. I'd better get on with this. "If this is about Donna and the communist, it was my fault..."

I laughed. It was typical of Josh to bring up Donna right at this point. It's actually done me a favour.

"Actually, Donna is what I want to talk to you about,"

"Oh god, look, we've been back three days already! Don't hold it against her. She didn't know that guy. I set up the meeting..." Josh rambled on at me, as he often does when he's panicking. He looked genuinely upset at the thought that I might want to fire Donna. It's touching.

"No, it's got nothing to do with that communist," I interrupted carefully. "In fact, I've got good news." That's it, lay it on the line. I must remember to be 'happy' about Donna and Will.

"Really?" Josh arched his eyebrow. "You have good news about Donna? What is it?"

"She's...um...it's very sweet actually." I laughed, flushing slightly.

Josh's lips twitched. "Sweet? Toby...you don't think people are 'sweet'. You've come close to 'liking' certain qualities about your colleagues, but sweet?"

"She's dating Will." I blurted out. Enough of the 'sweet talk' already! Oh god, I didn't mean to say it like that!

"She's...what?" Josh stuttered.

I've never seen a man or woman's face change so many times in such a short amount of time. Josh's face drained until it was white, then he looked like he had been hit many times in the stomach, then it seemed he was about to laugh at me…and now he just looks...blank? Empty of emotion?

It's been about five minutes now and Josh is still staring at me. I don't think he can quite believe what I've just said. I was expecting more of a vocal reaction!

"That's...great." Josh's quiet voice broke into my thoughts.

"It is?" I breathed a sigh of relief. He's looking relatively normal now. He doesn't look like he's about to die. Wait a minute…he's thinking it's great!

"You think it's great?" I demanded forcefully. I studied Josh's face. It still looked pretty impassive, but the eyes...there was something in the eyes.

"Of course I do!" Josh leaped up out of his seat and smiled widely at me. "Donna and Will, it's great, it's really, really great."

How many times can a guy say 'great' in one sentence? It would be funny if it wasn't so painful. God, those eyes. They're hurting.

I watched him pace the room a while and he rambled on.

"It's really best this way, don't you think? I really think it's great when someone who works for me and someone who works for you gets all coupled up! They're not so 'in your face' all the time...it really is best this way."

Josh walked out of the room. I don't think he knew that I could see his eyes becoming increasingly bloodshot. I've never seen a man cry, but Josh is a good candidate to be my first. I should be pleased that the plan is working. I'm not though. Josh has gone into complete denial and he's torturing himself doing it.

Did I say McGarry's boy will be coming back soon? Not until this mess gets sorted out.

I think I need to have another read of my job description.

There is something about working past midnight that appeals to me.

Another Monday has ended and the West Wing has ceased to be chaotic. All I can hear is the faint noise of the air-conditioning shutting down for the night. Most pleasing is that I don't usually have to deal with my staff at this time, who are all behaving more strangely than usual.

Something is going on. I can't put my finger on what it is, but the entire senior staff are keeping me out of the loop about something that appears to be important to them. I know it has nothing to do with our work because I'm sure they wouldn't dare to keep those kinds of secrets away from me.

Still, it doesn't keep me from wondering what they are all up to.

All day I've been catching Toby and CJ standing in the corners of hallways, having whispered conversations. Their behaviour was so suspicious that at one point I thought they were having a secret romantic liaison. That idea soon went out of my head when I saw the expression on Toby's face. He didn't look like a man who was having an exciting affair with the White House Press Secretary. He looked worried and distracted. CJ, on the other hand, looked tired but strangely hopeful.

After witnessing that, I contradicted my usual opinion on gossiping about other people's private business and spoke to Margaret a couple of hours ago. That woman seems to know everything about everyone.

I've disapproved of her antics for years but, as I said, I was curious about my staffers today.

"Leo, I have no idea what you're talking about," she told me rather guardedly.

"Margaret," I warned in the tone that implied I knew she was lying.

She sighed at me and rolled her eyes. "Have you seen Josh today?"

I furrowed my brow. "Of course I have. I see him about 20 times a day."

"Did you see Donna and Will in the mess at lunch?"

"Yes," I replied, feeling even more confused. "They were eating together."

"Then you should know. Take another look at Donna and Will tomorrow...then look at Josh."

That was all I could get out of Margaret. I'm thinking about that conversation right now and my assistant's hints have just put a startling idea in my head.

Donna and Will never eat in the mess together. Will has always skipped lunch, and Donna usually eats with Josh in his office.

No…they couldn't possibly be…

Were Donna and Will dating?

Now that I think about it, Josh has been unbelievably quiet today. I don't mean hostile…just quiet. The President even joked about it to me this evening, but I didn't think anything of it. I just assumed Josh was feeling a little tired.

No wonder Toby has been looking worried all day. Everyone knows how much Donna means to Josh, that he adores her so much he's afraid of what she'll say if he says 'I love you'. However, no one knows apart from me that he was planning on saying something to Donna next weekend, on her birthday.

I bet he wasn't expecting Will to get in there first.

I don't blame Will. He hasn't been here long and doesn't know Josh and Donna's history as well as others but what a time for him to do this!

There are some things that still don't add up - like CJ and Toby's constant secretive 'talks', and why Donna would want to date Will when she's in love with another man. That much was obvious when I saw her at GW that terrible night two years ago.

Maybe I'm just getting old but oh God help me sometimes. I fear for tomorrow. If I know Josh as well as I think I do, he isn't going to let those plans for Donna be ruined.

End of Chapter 2