Hey guys! Sorry for the delay - my beta was on holidays. But ch3 is finished so it will be up soon. Happy reading!
Three weeks later
"He totally walked straight passed her ten minutes ago," came the giggly voice of a surgical nurse that Gabrielle couldn't stand, Jenny Jones. She was Bianca Frost's pet, and just as bitchy as Bianca was. Gabrielle had no doubt but whatever Bianca had decided to make up about her, Jenny had been the first one she'd told.
"That's what you get for putting out in a consult room," came a nasty voice which Gabrielle recognised. It was one of her own temps, Amanda Pritchard. Well, that was the last time she got any ED shifts. She had thought maybe her own staff might realise what a load of crap these rumours that had been swirling around them for the last three weeks, but apparently not.
The rumours that had been swirling around them? Try her. No-one ever thought any less of a guy who was being reckless and promiscuous, in fact, it was a kind of badge of honour among the surgeons. And besides, once you got your girlfriend's lesbian best friend pregnant, you didn't really have a reputation worth defending. Whereas she was known for not dating hospital staff, for not having a string of boyfriends, for not being a huge partier. Because of that, she was held to a higher standard of chastity. Because of that, people saw her as a fair target to spread vicious gossip about.
"She had it coming. I mean, what did the silly slut think she was doing, spreading her legs in a consult room," Jenny said.
"Well, you know what they say about country girls, they have nothing better to do but put out for whoever asks them," Amanda said. The two women left the bathroom, still talking about what a silly slut Gabrielle was and how she had it coming to be avoided by Jack after giving it up to him so easily.
They weren't exactly correct. Jack had initially expressed concern for her, asking her to come to him if people talked about her. He had even asked her out once, but she was too proud to accept what she saw as a pity date. Other then that, he largely avoided her. She was surprised how much that disappointed her. It was only what she had wanted but she couldn't forget how good it had felt being with him.
She knew she had made the right decision. Jack wasn't the kind of man who could commit. He was probably out dating other women, sleeping with them... funny how that thought made her jealous. It wasn't like she had any claim on him. She had made her choice and she had made the right choice, but still –
It would help if people stopped talking about her. She felt so isolated and having Jack's support would be nice. But how could she tell him that she was the subject of relentless and vicious gossip? How could she admit how deeply it hurt her to hear some of the things people were saying about her? How could she admit to how dirty and ashamed she felt for having slept with him?
She holed herself up in her office for the rest of the day, unwilling to look Amanda in the eyes after overhearing what she had said. She found herself immersed in paperwork, reluctant to go home to that empty house. It only served as a reminded that she had nothing – and no-one.
Finally, Zoe ordered her to go at ten. "It's OK, I just want to finish this up," Gabrielle protested.
"You've been finishing up for five hours after you were due to knock off," Zoe told her. "Go home, get some rest or I'll report you to admin." Reluctantly, Gabrielle packed up her things and headed to the door. Zoe stopped her, gently placing her hand on the younger woman's arm. "Is everything OK?" she asked.
"Fine," Gabrielle said shortly.
"Has this got anything to do with Jack?" Zoe asked. Gabrielle looked flushed and embarrassed. Like everyone in the hospital, she had heard the rumours about Jack and Gabrielle. She had spoken to Jack herself, who had admitted everything. Zoe had wanted to smack him. Jack really ought to have known better – but then, so should Gabrielle. Still, it hadn't exactly been a great day for any of them... her heart contracted painfully to think of Sean. She couldn't really blame them for acting out in their grief, for wanting a connection following the death of a colleague. No, she couldn't blame them, but she could be frustrated at them that they'd chosen such an indiscreet time and place. And she could especially be frustrated with Jack, who's actions meant Gabrielle was constantly being put through the wringer.
"Look, it was both our faults," Gabrielle said. "I wanted it just as badly."
"He's not the subject of rumour," Zoe reminded her.
Gabrielle shrugged. "That's not his fault," she said. "Please, can we drop it?" Zoe nodded slightly and let Gabrielle pass, thinking to herself that the poor girl had no idea what she was getting into when she had let Jack Quade put his hands on her.
Gabrielle walked through the carpark, suddenly aware of how late it was. She normally finished at five, a time when people were coming and going. Now, the carpark was deserted. She shivered.
She heard footsteps behind her, and ignored them. Her car was just around the corner. She quickened her footsteps, actually relieved now to be on her way home.
"Oooh, baby, you have such a sexy look," came a voice behind her. She ignored it. It was only what she'd been hearing the last three weeks. Men thought she was easy – after all, any woman who'd put out in a consult room had to be a whore.
"Hey, I'm talking to you!" the voice yelled, and Gabrielle thought she recognised it as belonging to Brad Parker, one of the hospital's most notorious womanisers. He was known for his complete contempt of women and the fact he saw nothing wrong with getting a little rough with them when they didn't see dinner as a fair trade for sex. He had harassed her when she'd first started working at the hospital, expecting her to be grateful that a surgeon was interested in taking her out to dinner. He'd finally given up amid accusations that she was a lesbian. "Look at me, you stuck-up little bitch." Gabrielle kept walking, and a second later she felt strong hands on her arms, twisting her around. Gabrielle gave a scream of surprise and was rewarded with a strike to her face that sent her reeling. He grabbed her by the front of her shirt and pulled her towards him. He mashed his mouth against hers, forcing his tongue between her lips. She struggled against him as a wave of nausea washed over her.
She finally managed to pull away, only to realise that Parker had two cronies with him. "How dare you!" she yelled. "Get your hands off me!"
Parker laughed at that, a mean, hateful laugh. "Bet you didn't say that to Quade."
Gabrielle stared at him. Was he for real? Did he think just because she had slept with Jack, he had the right to put his hands on her? She tried to back away, managed to get out of his hold and take three steps towards her car before he grabbed her again. She screamed, and he clapped his hand over her mouth. "You little slut," he hissed venomously. "You turn my efforts to romance you down flat and spread your legs for a lesser man."
Was that what fuelled his sense of entitlement? That she had turned him down but been with a subordinate? As the newest registrar, Jack was fairly low down on the surgical food chain, whereas Parker came fourth after Mike, Vincent and Bianca. Was his ego so fragile that the idea she might be interested in a subordinate over him that it drove him to attack her in a darkened carpark? "I'd never let you touch me!" she screamed.
"Seems like you don't have much of a say in it," he retorted and threw her onto the bonnet of a car. She felt her ankle twist painfully as she stumbled for balance and she cried out over it. Before she could do anything, he had her pinned her, his cronies helping to hold her down, hands holding her arms down, hands over her mouth to stop her from screaming... she felt Parker's hands roaming freely down her body, over her breasts, tearing at her shirt, her stomach, her hips, her thighs... for a moment she thought about how Jack's touch had been at the same time bold and gentle, perfectly in sync with what she needed, and it only made Parker's manhandling all the more horrific... She bucked against the strong hands holding her down when she felt Parker undoing the buttons on her pants and forcing his fingers between her legs. She shuddered, both from the violation of her personal space and the physical pain. And she knew it was going to get worse... she screamed when he shoved his fingers all the way in and had a thought in the back of her mind that if she'd just left when she'd meant to, none of this would be happening...
She felt the vibration of the car's immobiliser go off and a man's voice raising his objections. Gabrielle felt sick with relief. "This is none of your business, Quade, you already had your go," Parker said gruffly.
"It's plenty my business when that's my car and my girl," Jack said in a voice that said he considered both equally his property to do with as he pleased. He almost felt as sick forcing the words from his mouth as he did seeing Gabrielle in that awful position, but it was the only thing men like Brad Parker understood when it came to women.
Parker thought about it for all of three seconds. He was fundamentally a coward, which was why he never took on someone close to his own size. And Jack looked furious. Sure, he had two cronies with him, but cowards like himself, and Jack was known for having a murderous temper – legend had it that the guy who had caused Charlotte's miscarriage had later died of internal bleeding in another hospital. Jack Quade was not afraid to spill blood, either his own or that of someone who hurt a woman he cared about.
Parker let her go. Gabrielle ran towards Jack despite her twisted ankle and hid behind him. Jack shrugged out of his jacket and handed it to her silently. "I suggest you leave before I'm done making sure you haven't done anything worse then twist her ankle," Jack growled in a way that brought images of a rabid Doberman to mind.
"Hey, man, I'm sorry, I didn't mean –" Parker started, already backing away in the way one does when confronted by a rabid Doberman, not remembering that pissed-off dogs can smell fear. If it wasn't for the seriousness of the situation, Jack would be kind of amused.
"Gabrielle," he said sweetly, "how's your ankle?" He smirked when Parker mumbled an apology and he and his cronies turned tail and ran. He turned to her, who had in just a few seconds buttoned his jacket all the way up. "Is it anything worse then your ankle?" She shook her head. "Now is not the time to be ashamed of anything. If it's nothing worse then a twisted ankle, I can take you home, if it is, you need to be checked out."
"It's not, Jack. It's just –" she found herself shivering. He touched her arm gently and she all but threw herself against him.
"It's OK," he said, knowing it wasn't much more OK then it had been a few weeks ago when Sean had died. "I think I scared the crap out of them. No-one's going to hurt you." He pulled away from her to the side of her bum ankle and snaked his arm around her waist. "Can you walk with my help or do you want to be carried?"
"I can walk."
He led her to the passenger's side of his car – a car that Brad Parker had been trying to rape her on just minutes before. It made him nauseous to think about how close it had come to that – if Mike hadn't let him go early, if Parker had run into her into another section of the carpark... He swallowed his own feelings and noticed Gabrielle wasn't looking too great. "Hey, I'm not trying to belittle you or anything but I just bought this car so if you need to throw up, tell me and I'll pull over."
"Thanks, Jack, nice to know where your priorities lie."
"Hey, don't take it out on me." Damn, and he'd meant to swallow his own feelings to concentrate on her. Well, it was hard to not feel raging anger. They drove in silence for a while until Jack got cut off in traffic by a carload of hoons. Jack slammed his hand down on the horn. "Fuck!" he screamed to no-one in particular, but Gabrielle was the closest in proximity to him and she flinched.
"I'm sorry, Jack. I swear I didn't do anything to – encourage him."
He glanced over at her. In her terror, her nerves were stretched to breaking point. "I'm sorry, I'm angry, but not at you. I hate men that," he said in a soft, reassuring voice. And he hated that he was at least in part responsible, just for letting things get out of hand and letting her become the target of vicious gossip and for men like Brad Parker to think that just because she'd have sex in a consult room meant she'd have sex with anyone, anywhere. "I know perfectly well you didn't encourage them."
"Then you're the only one who thinks that." He reached out to touch her but she shrank away from him, pushing herself against the door. "Don't, Jack. If you'd just kept your goddamn hands to yourself... " Jack clenched his jaw. It was only what he'd been thinking himself, but for her to put it so bluntly...
He pulled up into her drive and helped her inside and onto the couch. She resisted him "I want a shower."
"I want to check you out first. Don't make me force the issue, I feel awful enough as it is. I just want to make sure it's only superficial injuries." Apart from the obvious emotional trauma. She was still shivering. She let her hands drop to her sides limply and let Jack run his hands over her body, from her twisted ankle – she winced in pain but managed to rotate it completely – over her ribs – she winced in response to the pressure of his hands on a bruise, but it didn't hurt nearly enough as qualified for a cracked rib – and made her rotate her jaw completely as well as inspected the bruise on her face. She was surprised at how gentle he was, how aware he was of making her feel as at-ease as possible, given the situation. It was a rare quality in a surgeon. "I don't think there's anything wrong with you more then a sprain and a few bruises," he said softly. "At least not physically. But I think you should talk to someone. I know a few names if you want." He knew these names because Mike was harassing him to see someone himself, but like a lot of doctors, Jack was happy to blithely ignore the things he strongly recommended for others.
"I'm fine."
"You're shaking."
"It's cold."
"That's a double-lined jacket you're wearing and it's not that cold. C'mon, Gabrielle, ignoring this won't make you feel any better."
"I'm fine, Jack. I would have been fine."
"Don't be so bloody stubborn. They would have taken turns until they were bored. You're lucky I was there."
He hadn't meant to be so hard with her, but it seemed to get the message across. She paled visibly and then bolted for what Jack assumed was the bathroom. He followed her, and when he saw she hadn't shut the door behind her, knelt behind her and pulled her hair back so she wouldn't vomit all over it. He rubbed her back sympathetically with his free hand until she'd emptied the contents of her stomach. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to distress you," he said. "Look, why don't you go have a shower or bath or something and I'll fix you something to eat?" he asked. She nodded, actually grateful to have Jack here. She let him help her up and towards the shower. He eased her out of his jacket. "Is there anything Is can get you?" he asked.
"No thankyou."
"I'll leave you to it then." Jack left the bathroom and went to rummage through her fridge and kitchen cupboards to fix her something to eat. Her stomach was empty and no doubt she'd want to have a drink later.
She emerged from the bathroom half an hour later, mostly covered in a full-length bathrobe but what skin was exposed Jack could see she had rubbed raw. His heart went out to her. He remembered doing the same thing to himself more than once. "Made you something to eat," he said, directing her to sit down. She picked at her food but under Jack's watchful eye, ate it all. She was still shaking when she'd finished so he poured her a strong vodka and lemonade, which she sipped gratefully.
"Thanks," she said once the alcohol hit her and she felt a little calmer. "You didn't have to go to all this effort for me."
"It's the least I could do. Look, what do you want to do?"
Immediately any calm the vodka had bought her evaporated and she started to cry. "People have been talking about me ever since – no-one's attacked me physically but I know everyone's calling me a slut and whore, even my own nurses."
"Oh, babe. I wish you'd said something."
"Like what? Thanks a lot for screwing me in a consult room, Jack, now everyone calls me names within my earshot and molests me on the way to my car."
"Don't talk like that. I'm not like those guys. You wanted it as much as I did, remember?" He hadn't meant to remind her of that but he didn't exactly like her implying he'd taken advantage of her. He bit his lip in concentration. Had he taken advantage of her, or had they taken advantage of each other?
She started to cry. "Oh, God, what am I going to do?"
He cupped her face gently. "What are we going to do," he corrected her, and kissed her. It was a far cry from the hard, hungry kisses they'd shared three weeks ago – the exact opposite, in fact. He hadn't known he was capable of being this gentle but gentle he was as he slid his tongue into her mouth and barely pushed against her as he slid his arms down her body and around her back...
It didn't seem fair that a guy's lips should feel so soft. She shivered, for once in anticipation rather than terror. She let Jack push her back slightly before she realised what she was doing – she was letting Jack have his way with her. Again. She pushed him away. "No," she said quietly. "I don't want to."
He looked sheepish. "Sorry," he said. "You need time." God knew, he knew what it was like to have to overcome your fear of physical and sexual intimacy.
"No, I meant I don't want to... ever."
"You don't want to be with me?" she nodded. "Gabby, it's not like your reputation matters anymore. They tried to rape you in the place we all work. You need me."
"Oh, I need you so everyone knows I'm your property? I heard the way you compared me to your car, Jack."
"That was only 'cos it's the only thing someone like Parker understands. Look, I don't see women as property. I like you and I wanted to go out with you – I still do. Maybe I should have made my feelings clearer." He took her hand in his and was relieved when she didn't pull away. "And so what if guys like Parker see you as my property? They would have done it anyway even if we'd gotten together under, uh, better circumstances, and if it stops them from attacking you then what does it matter what they think?"
He had a valid point, and the tingly warmth of his hand was starting to get to her. She pulled her hand away and averted her eyes. "It's something else, isn't it?" he demanded softly."I can't trust you," she admitted.
"Why not?"
She turned her face slightly so she could avert her eyes even more. She hadn't been raised to be honest about those kinds of things. "Is it about the women?" he asked. "Because it's not as bad as it sounds. I mean, yeah, there've been a few, but no-one since you, and before that, no-one since this woman I was seeing last year."
Gabrielle wanted to believe him, she really did. The way he looked at her with those eyes, pleading with her to believe him. But his reputation was so bad, how could there not be some truth to it? And people sad he had never really gotten over his ex, Terri Sullivan. How could she be with someone while part of her wondered if she had his heart fully? "You don't believe me," he said flatly. She couldn't bring herself to admit it, but her inaction spoke volumes. "You're saying you'd rather take your chances with men like Parker then trust me to be faithful?" he asked. Again, she said nothing, but she didn't have to.
Jack stood up and walked to the window. He jammed his fisted hands into his pockets, his back straight and tense. He couldn't believe she was being such a stubborn little fool. And he hadn't done anything to deserve her assumption that there would be any women – well, at least, nothing in reality. According to rumour and innuendo, though... But still, couldn't she see she was much better off trusting him then trusting Parker and his like not to try force themselves on her? Damnit, he had feelings for her, they were attracted to each other, what more did she want?
If Gabrielle had been less absorbed in her own issues, she would have noticed Jack visibly relax as he thought of a solution. "You won't date me?" he asked.
"No." It was easier to say when he had his back turned to her.
"You won't be my girlfriend?"
"No."
"Because you don't trust me?"
"Yes." This was harder to admit to.
"But you understand what you expose yourself to with me... without my protection?"
"Yes." She shuddered just to think about it, and began to reconsider his offer.
He turned to face her. "Then I have a ... compromise, I guess." She looked at him curiously, and he swallowed. He couldn't believe he was about to suggest something so out-there, but he couldn't see any other option, thanks to her stubbornness. "We just... fake it."
"Huh?"
"We fake it."
"No, I heard that part, Jack. I just... have no idea what you're talking about."
"Gabrielle, I won't just stand by and let something happen to you because of something I did. Look, I haven't fully thought this out, but... so long as people think we're together, it has the same effect as us actually being together in the sense that no-one's going to attack you – physically or other – any girlfriend of mine."
"Jack, I'm not following." But she was, kind of. Jack was proposing they put on an act. All the benefits that came with his protections and none of the worrying about how he really felt – or caring if he was with other women, because they had no claim on each other.
"I hold your hand in public, that kind of thing." He didn't elaborate that it would have to be more than that – no-one would buy that someone as passionate as him had nothing more on his mind then holding hands. But maybe once she realised how much easier life was as his girlfriend, how loving and affectionate he could be... OK, so he was working on little more than hope but that was all he had to go on right now. "We can say we were trying to keep it quite out of respect for Zoe – we didn't want to flaunt our relationship given it started on the day Sean died – but the harassment got too much for you." It was sound enough that if they could pull of a convincing act, Jack was confident it would be accepted. He could always get into a fight with someone for believability.
"You wouldn't try to take things further in private?" she asked warily.
He was hurt that she thought so little of him – hadn't he gone above and beyond to try and protect her? "Only if you wanted me to," he said teasingly, but his smile faded when she frowned. Couldn't the girl take a joke? OK, maybe not funny given what she's been through. "I won't do anything you don't feel comfortable with," he amended seriously. "C'mon, admit it, you don't have a better option. Unless you could resigning as an option."
He was right, she didn't. "OK," she agreed in a small voice.
He was relieved; he'd thought she was going to turn him down again. "OK then. I want you to come to the hospital with me tomorrow to make a formal complaint. There's a security camera stationed right above my car – that's why I park there. So long as you're prepared to make a formal complaint, that should get him fired on the spot. The others I think we can push for being fired, or at least be put on some kind of probation."
"Jack, I don't think I can do that," Gabrielle said, and she started to tremble again.
He grabbed the throw blanket from the couch and wrapped it around her shoulders. Now that he had made it clear that would do nothing she wasn't comfortable with, she had let her guard down. Tentatively, he touched her, then wrapped his hand around her arm, then hugged her, then pulled her into his lap in an enveloping embrace. "You can," he said reassuringly. "I will be there for you. Would you rather he get off scot-free – to do it to someone else?"
"No," she said in a small voice.
"Then you have to do this now. You have to be brave." Boy, would Travis never let him hear the end of it if he were to overhear this conversation, not when Jack himself had balked at testifying against his own sexual abuser. But this was different – as traumatised as Gabrielle was, it had been one-time, and she hadn't been raped. Not that it was really a distinction in her current state of mind.
"You'll be there?" she asked.
"Of course. What boyfriend wouldn't?" he asked dryly. "Look, I think it's best I stay the night. You shouldn't be alone."
"Jack, you don't need to do that."
"It would make me feel better to know you had someone around. Please? If you don't have a spare bed, I'm happy to sleep on the couch."
She didn't like to admit it, but just the thought of having someone like Jack in the same house brought comfort to her. "OK," she agreed in a small voice. She allowed Jack to stay with her until she fell asleep before he went and surveyed the spare room. It was hard to believe that someone who had moved in only a year ago had managed to accumulate such crap. Looks like it's the couch, he thought wryly. Never mind; he had slept on much worse surfaces in the past...
He woke up a few hours later to Gabrielle's terrified screaming. He rushed into her room and threw on the light to see her thrashing around, still unconscious. He thought about restraining her and bringing her out with a few slaps but discarded the idea. The poor girl was terrified and being restrained would only remind her of the restraint she had been subjected to a few hours before. Instead, he spoke in a loud but soothing voice, talking to her, reminding her that she was in her room and she was safe until gradually his words penetrated her subconscious and her tears subsided. Slowly, she came around to the land of the waking. When she saw Jack, she immediately burst into fresh tears. "It's OK," he said, embracing her, fury mounting at what those assholes had done to her, that any man should think himself entitled to treat a woman – well, anyone really – like that. He let her cry into his chest, feeling oddly pleased that he could bring this small measure of comfort that few people had the empathy to give. "They can't hurt you. You want to talk about it? You don't have to if you don't want but... sometimes it helps."
"It was like it was happening again," she said brokenly. "Except... you didn't come." She was grateful for the comfort of his arms, the way his fingers ran through her hair so gently, the way he kissed the top of her head so soothingly. She started to feel guilty for having turned down his offer of a relationship when he was being so kind and considerate... she lifted her head and looked at him with tear-stained eyes. Then she kissed him.
For a second, Jack kissed her back, then he pulled her away. "Don't you want this?" she asked, a little disappointed.
"Not like this. I won't take advantage of you like this. You're scared and having someone to protect you is looking pretty good right now, I'd say. And I'm already giving you that." He kissed the top of her head again. "I won't take anything from you that you don't want to give, and that includes when you're too vulnerable to know what you're giving. Got that?" She nodded. "I can stay with you until you go back to sleep, if you'd like," he offered, feeling sorry for her.
"I'd like that," she admitted. Jack repositioned himself so he was spooning her and brought the doona up around them both. She cuddled up against them, feeling safer then she had in hours, although she struggled to find sleep, anxious that the second she lost consciousness her nightmare would return. Jack tried to stay up with her but eventually his tiredness got the better of him and he fell asleep with her in his arms. When he woke up, she had fallen asleep and he was reluctant to wake her. Thankfully, it was his day off so he called Frank and gave him a brief run-down of what had happened the night before and that Gabrielle was unable to work on a sprained ankle and bruised face. He'd bring her in later to make a formal complaint and get her checked out properly. In the meantime, he wanted her to sleep as long as she could, poor tormented girl.