Home!
Ennis
The bus ride was long and boring. The landscape flew by. The conversations of fellow passengers made Ennis sleepy. The Monday went by and towards evening it began to rain. Ennis was thinking about, how many times, Jack had driven this route in the past years. And always by himself in the car, not sleeping on the bus like him. Jack had never grumbled about it. He was always very happy to see Ennis. Often, Jack had even been waiting at their meeting point. Once, after the divorce, Jack had misunderstood him on the phone and came all the way down, for nothing. Ennis sent him away easily. He regretted that for a long time. Jack had never talked about it since.
Ennis tried to imagine their reunion. He knew that there was no turning back for him, now. When he picked up Jack and took him to Lightning Flat, it should be forever. But would Jack want it all? Him too? The thought that it might be too late for them tormented Ennis. He also didn't know who Randall was. His fear and excitement grew more, the closer he came to Dallas. The night passed and the next day. Tuesday night, the bus reached Dallas.
Ennis found a cheap hotel near the station. The woman at the reception was very nice and told him about a nice and cheap restaurant at the end of the road. After dinner he asked her for directions to the St. Paul University Hospital. She asked what he wanted to do there. He replied, "I have to pick up my brother there. He had an accident and can't drive." She explained the way to him. Ennis thanked her and went to bed quickly. He had never been in a big city before and did not know, how long he would need to reach the hospital. He doesn't want to miss Jack, in any case, so he planned to get up early.
The city was loud and Ennis was unaccustomed to so much street noise. He didn't sleep much, and when he did, he slept poorly. At six o clock in the morning, he left the hotel to go to the hospital. The woman had described the route well and by seven o'clock Ennis stood in front of the hospital. He smoked a cigarette and wondered if he should wait here, at the door, or maybe ask at the reception for Jack. Perhaps there was more than one entrance. His nervousness grew more and more and he was afraid about the reunion with Jack, but at the same time there was nothing he wanted more!
He lit another cigarette.
Jack
Jack fell fast asleep after his meeting with Dr. Macintosh and the two bottles of beer. He had some confusing dreams and woke up at six o clock. Today he could go home. He dressed, packed his last things and said goodbye to Bob. Leaving the room he went to the nurses station, to ask her for directions to the garage where Lureen had parked his car.
"Mr. Twist you don't have to be in such a hurry to get away from us! Won't you have a coffee with me, before you go? " Jack nodded. As he drank the coffee, she explained the way to the parking garage.
The nurse looked over Jack's shoulder, through the window of her office to the corridor. Suddenly her eyes widened. Men such as the one who approached them now weren't seen often in the hospital. She muttered "What does the COWBOY probably want here and so early in the morning?" Jack turned around quickly. There was Ennis! Incredible! Ennis, who never voluntarily stepped a foot outside Wyoming stood here, in the hospital in Dallas Texas, at that morning on which he was allowed to go home!
Jack jumped up and the two men looked at each other deeply. And all was well. Ennis went up to Jack and they embraced each other. The nurse had the feeling that she was intruding and walked away. Ennis said softly, "Jack! You're alive! I'm so glad to see you!"
They broke away from each other and Jack said, quite breathless, "Ennis, what are you doing here?" Ennis looked into Jack's eyes and what he saw there, eased his mind. He gave the answer he had worked out on the long bus ride. "I am here to pick you up so we can go home together." The emphasis was on 'we' and 'home'. Jack knew Ennis well. They had always understood each other without many words. Ennis took Jack's things and they walked together from the hospital to the parking garage to get to Jack's car. Ennis wondered why the entire trunk was packed, but did not ask. Not yet. There were many unanswered questions and much to explain but there would be time enough for all of that. Initially the city traffic caught Ennis' attention. Jack sat, still astonished, in the passenger seat and could hardly believe his luck. This surprise from Ennis had really been a success.
When they had finally left the city, Ennis asked about the divorce, and Jack told him the whole story. This time, he spoke more kindly of Lureen than before. He was grateful to her, although the loss of Bobby hurts him. Ennis listened and then asked, "Don't we have go to Childress to pick up your things?" "No, everything is already in the trunk and in Childress everyone thinks I'm dead." It sounded a little bitter.
"Yes, but you're also free." Jack looked at Ennis and then asked provocatively: "Free, yes, but for what?" There was a pause. Ennis had expected that question. He knew he had to make the biggest decision of his life and he wanted to be sure he didn't say the wrong thing this time. He stopped at the roadside and saw Jack's face. His voice trembled slightly when he said "For me, if you want?"
The world went a little dark for Jack. He had waited so long for this question and now he couldn't answer. He heard Ennis voice as if from far away "Jack, hey Jack, is all right? Open your eyes!" He found himself in Ennis arms again and as soon as he could speak he asked "Do you still want me? There are so many things you need to know." "I always wanted you and we'll talk about everything, but right now we should buy a decent breakfast. You're not really top shape." Ennis was right. It was late morning and neither of them had eaten anything, yet. When the eggs with bacon and the coffee cups were in front of them, Jack could feel how hungry he was. They ate with relish and Ennis spoke of his experiences in Lightning Flat. He left nothing out, not even the nightly conversation with Jack's mother. Jack was amazed at Ennis openness.
"I've always thought she knew something, but she never said a word to me." "Your dad was probably a difficult person. She didn't seem to have an easy time with him, but now she's moving on." Ennis was thinking of the episode in the furniture store and was looking forward to the surprise of the new bed. They drove on, and Jack realized that he was still not as strong, as he had thought. His eyes fell. Ennis turned on the radio, smoked, sometimes watched his sleeping friend. He loved Jack and it made him happy beyond words that he was still alive. He would even take care, that not a single, precious moment of life would be wasted more.
In the early evening, they looked for a motel and Ennis asked at the reception for a double room. When the woman inquired, why, he said calmly: "You see that my brother needs help." And pointed to Jack's arm cast. They closed the door behind them. "So your 'brother' needs help." Jack grinned broadly and said, "I didn't think, you could lie so brazenly." I learned it from your Mom. People see what they want to see. There must be something to see. Today, there are two brothers." Jack laughed," Yes, but from different parents! "
Much later, after a long dinner and several bottles of beer, they returned to their room. The sexual tension between them was palpable, but neither of them dared to touch the other. Ennis pulled off all his clothes and went to shower. Jack took off all his clothes and went to bed. He covered himself up and thought it would be better if Ennis saw the scars right away. He had to tell the whole story anyway. It was better to do it now.
Ennis came out of the shower and Jack lifted the blanket so that his friend could lay down by his side. He tried not to stare at Ennis erection. Ennis however, did stare at the scar on Jack's belly. He lay down beside Jack and clung to him carefully. Jack lifted the blanket slightly and said softly: "They had to remove my spleen because it was torn. And my bladder had to be stitched up. In my cheekbone is a small plate and on my radius and ulna as well."
"What happened, Jack?" "What you were afraid of for twenty years. There were three of them." Jack was quite calm. Ennis began to tremble and Jack felt tears on his shoulder. He said nothing and Ennis cried quietly. They were tears of despair but also of relief that Jack still was alive.
They were very close that night and incredibly brave. Finally the lies and all the unspoken words of the last twenty years came to light. Both of them tried not to blame the other. They both listened patiently to the other. They had always respected each other and it was showed that night.
There was only one difference. When they woke the next morning and looked at each other it was clear that the friendship had turned to a more serious relationship. Ennis took Jack in his arms, pulled him up and said quietly: "I will never leave you alone again."
Jack rested happily in Ennis arms and whispered in his ear: "And when will I get what I wanted badly, yesterday evening?" "I don't know what you mean. You'll have to tell me exactly what you want!" Ennis grinned at Jack when his uninjured hand touched Ennis excited dick. They made love to each other as tenderly as possible. Ennis was afraid to hurt Jack.
Afterwards, he asked Jack if he still remembered their very first time. "I'll never forget. Although I was disappointed, that you ran away in the morning." "I never told you, but I was pretty ashamed for that." "What!" snorted Jack "I hurt you so much that night, because I couldn't control myself. I saw the blood in the morning."
Jack had to refrain from laughing. "Oh Ennis! Do you think I would have let you if I didn't want it! I wanted you, for weeks at that point! The whole time I thought, you didn't want me!"
Ennis didn't feel like laughing. He was quite serious. "I want you to understand me. We've had more than enough misunderstandings. I wanted to apologize to you, for saying, this was a onetime thing. You know, the next night… Shit, I'm so bad at stuff like this… "
"Ennis, what are you trying to say?" Now, Jack was also very serious. Ennis said nothing and searched for the right words. He thought about them for a long time. Since their time on Brokeback, but he had never before ventured to say them. He put his head close to Jack and whispered the three words softly in his ear. Jack answered gently, "I love you too, Ennis."
They lay snuggled together for a while, both of them happy to feel the skin of the other. Soon, though their hunger grew and they made their way to a café on the other side of the street for breakfast. Jack felt luckier than ever before in his life. It felt like a honeymoon although he kept that thought for himself. He was beaming and people, who looked at them, were able to see, that they were lovers, even if they avoided touching each other.
Breakfast was good. They were both hungry and enjoyed eating together. Ennis noticed how slim Jack had become. He liked the short hair and clean-shaven face. The scars troubled him, but they would probably fade soon. Jack told him a few stories from the hospital which in retrospect he found hilarious. They laughed together, and paid no attention to the other guests in the restaurant.
At the counter, three oil workers were drinking coffee. Suddenly one of the three, came over to Jack and Ennis' table, leaned down and asked, in a menacing tone "What are you two fags doing here with us? You better bugger off!"
Ennis was immediately on his feet. The man was lying on the floor faster than he could realize what happened. Jack held Ennis back. The two other workers helped their colleague to his feet. The waitress said. "Frank if you don't calm down, I'm gonna call the cops!" Frank gave a hostile look to Ennis and mumbled something unintelligible.
The good mood was gone. They paid their breakfast and set off again. They drove in silence, each of them lost in his thoughts. Both realized how much courage it would require to live together.
After some time had passed, Ennis wanted to get an answer to the question, that had been burning in his mind for so long. "Jack?" "Hmh", "Can I ask you a question?" "Sure," There was a long pause. Ennis had a lump in his throat. "Ennis, what do you want?" Ennis gulped audibly and Jack looked at him, worried. Something seemed to bother Ennis. "Jack, who the fuck is Randall?"
Now it was Jack's turn to swallow. They had promised to speak openly but Jack knew that he would hurt Ennis, with the facts about Randall. "How do you know about Randall?" "Your mother had me confused with him when I first arrived, but she never told me who he is and now I'm thinking about it all the time ... ..." Jack stared at the road in front of them. He did not want to hurt Ennis but he could not lie anymore. "It's a long story."
"I'm afraid so." Came the reply back and Jack registered the anger but also the desperation in Ennis' voice. It was a cloudy and windy day. The landscape around them was boring and dull. The road was dead straight. For at least an hour they had seen no one. So there was no chance for Jack to escape this thorny topic, or come back to it later. He thought about how he could tell Ennis as gently as possible about Randall. Ennis was silent too. He could wait. Now it was Jacks turn to be open. Ennis gave him time. But his fear of what Jack had to tell, grew along with his anger.
"Ennis" "Hmh" "Do you remember our last trip in May?" "Sure." "I told you about a woman in the neighborhood who I had a small affair with. Well, it wasn't the woman. It was her husband, Randall. He was a foreman on a ranch. We got to know him and his wife at a ball in Childress. I immediately felt, that he wasn't flirting to Lureen, but to me.
"Ennis said nothing, trying to take in this story. Jack went on: "We became friends… and more…." "Clearly! Otherwise you would hardly tell your parents that you want to come live there with HIM!" Ennis almost cried. Jack winced. Ennis was furious and could only speak with difficulty. Jack tried to keep his voice from trembling. What he had to say next would be the straw that broke the camel's back. That much was perfectly clear. He had known Ennis long enough to know that. "In May, after our argument, I thought it was over between us! I didn't want any of it any longer. The marriage to Lureen, the unsatisfactory relationship with you, where we spent no time together! I wanted to have a future with a MAN!"
He had said it. Loud and clearly. Ennis stopped the car and jumped out, ripped open the passenger door and stood in front of Jack with a clenched fist. Jack stared at him. "What, Ennis? Do YOU want to beat me now, because I'm gay?" Ennis jerked back and screamed "Fuck you!" and ran off into the deserted, desolate landscape.
Jack was shaking in the car and tried to calm down. His injuries were not even completely healed and he knew from personal experience how much force Ennis del Mar was able to put into a punch. Very briefly he toyed with the idea of leaving, but in the end he didn't. Ennis would definitely come back soon, they would let two or three hours go by and then when the night had spread the veil of darkness over them, they would talk about everything. Or so Jack thought. Ennis didn't come back. It was midday and then afternoon. When it began to get dark, Jack started to worry. Ennis had run away as he was without a coat, without a hat. It was already dark and it would get cold quickly. Jack walked around and looked out in the direction Ennis had disappeared. Nothing. "Then I'll have to try something different." he thought. He opened the trunk and looked for the tent and the sleeping bags. He found everything. It was a bit troublesome with the cast on his arm, but after a while, the tent was set up beside the car and Jack was trying to prepare an acceptable camp. Now it was really cold and windy. In all that time not a single car had passed. Jack thought of Ennis. He longed for his friend. He hoped that they would find a way for them both to get past this, but he wasn't sure, if Ennis wanted that, too. Eventually he fell asleep.
When Jack, woke up early in the next morning, all was well. Ennis was lays beside him sleeping. Jack hadn't heard him return. He looked at his sleeping friend and his heart was full of love. The years had also left their marks in Ennis, but that didn't matter to Jack. He loved Ennis as he was. Ennis seemed to feel Jack looking at him. He suddenly opened his eyes and looked straight into Jack's blue eyes. These blue eyes had always made him crazy. They looked at each other in silence. Jack saw fear and loneliness in Ennis' eyes. Ennis saw courage and love in Jack's.
Ennis looked down. He had spent some really hard hours in the deserted landscape. He was thrown back to his old problems. He had screamed and cursed, prayed, fought and cried. It was difficult and very painful. He was almost forty years old. Life would certainly not give him many more opportunities for a bit of luck. Jack had sent the telegram to him, probably to show him for the last time, what he might lose. But the price was high! Ennis had to reverse his image of himself completely. He was not the man he wanted to be. He had never been. When it finally got dark, he became worried that Jack might have driven on without him. The relief he felt when he finally lay down beside his sleeping friend was immeasurable.
Now, he had to say it. Say it out loud. Who else could he say it to, if not Jack?
"Jack" "Hmh" "I'm gay, too. And I'm afraid." Jack took him in his arms and said softly," I know. I'm afraid, too sometimes, but I feel better when we're together."
Ennis stayed in Jack's arms with his eyes closed. He didn't know whether to feel better or worse after his confession. Jack held him a long time and thought about, how to give his friend the kind of bliss Ennis knew nothing of. But this wasn't the right moment ... ..
"Ennis" "Yeah" "I have to piss." The magical, intimate moment was broken. They both laughed and got up.
When they drove through a village, two hours later, they found that they were approaching the end of their trip. But there was still a lot to clarify. They also wanted to be on their own for a little bit longer. They had breakfast and did some shopping at the local supermarket. Jack pretended to need toothpaste in order to look at the drugstore shelf for massage oil. He found it and paid, along with the toothpaste and a bottle of whiskey. Tonight, Ennis would lose his innocence. Jack knew that he would have to drink a little, -to have enough courage.
Ennis, of course knew nothing of Jack's plans and was delighted at the sight of the whiskey bottle and planned on spending a night with Jack in the usual way: Drinking, talking, fast hard sex, probably more than once.
They drove until it was time for supper. The motel room was newly renovated and the beds were new as well. Jack was looking forward to the evening. He was excited as he was going on a date. Ennis still didn't know what Jack was planning. They ate steaks and drank beer. The waitress tried to flirt with Ennis, but he only had eyes for Jack. Jack could tell that Ennis wanted to go. So he lit a cigarette and ordered two more beers, drinking his slowly. Quietly, Ennis said. "Drink that now and let's go." "Why? It's comfortable here." Ennis got involved in the game and whispered," Come on, I'll make you quite comfortable… in our bed." Jack risked it "No, same game but different rules today. I want to do you and you will enjoy it." Ennis wanted to contradict, but Jack didn't let him. "I waited for you for several hours, yesterday. Today, you'll give me your body, for one hour." He smiled whimsically at Ennis.
They went. They showered. When Jack came out from the shower with wet hair, Ennis was on the bed and looked interested in Jack's stiff cock. They had been with each other for a long time but what Jack wanted to do today was all new to Ennis and he was scared, though he loved it so much, the other way around. Jack dimmed the lights and took the whiskey and the massage oil. He turned on the radio and said to Ennis with a grin. "Nobody has to hear you cry…"
Ennis felt funny. He had never done this before. He took a big gulp of whiskey, turned on his stomach and growled, "Come on, do what you can't leave. Get it over with." Jack could imagine, how Ennis must feel, but he only said, "For one hour you belong to me and if you ask me to do something then I'll do it, but not otherwise."
Ennis was relieved. He had no idea, HOW much he would beg Jack. And it wouldn't take even half an hour.
Jack poured oil on Ennis back. Ennis was slim and wiry. The effects of years of hard work could be seen but Jack loved Ennis' body. He enjoyed distributing the oil on Ennis who relaxed quickly under Jacks gentle touch. Jack only had one hand available, but he was able to give Ennis a tremendous feeling of wellbeing. As his fingers moved for the first time to his buttocks and between, Ennis startled, but a few minutes later he let it happen, surprised about his growing excitement .
As Jack massaged the entrance carefully, with his fingertips, he could fell that Ennis was very turned on. He pushed himself against Jack's hand. As Jack's finger penetrated him the first time, Ennis moaned with pleasure. He dropped into the exciting feelings and gave himself up to Jack. Jack felt that Ennis wanted, more, but he added only a second finger and he moved very gently. He knew that the whole thing could be finished quickly. He didn't want to hurt Ennis but he didn't want him to have an orgasm either. Not yet.
Ennis moaned with desire for more. "Oh, Jack, please ... ... come on, do it! I wanna feel you!" Ennis pressed out hoarse the words, Jack wanted to hear. He sat down on Ennis' legs and poured oil on his ass once again and on his own hard cock as well. He forced his way slowly and carefully into Ennis. It was easy. Ennis braced himself against Jack and after a few gentle bumps, against his most sensitive point, Ennis came hard. He screamed his delight in the pillow and reared under Jack, like a rodeo bull. The intense, pulsating orgasm made Jack forget everything. He thrust a few times, with almost no control and climaxed in Ennis with a deep cry of lust.
Afterwards, he lay down next to Ennis, still trembling with desire. Ennis had buried his face in the pillow as he tried to calm down. He had never had such intense feelings during sex. It was all new to him being the passive partner. He had entrusted Jack and was not disappointed but had received a gift. After a while, Jack put his arm around Ennis and asked softly, "Hey, you, all right?" Ennis looked up from the pillow at Jack. He did need to say anything. It was visible, how good it was! Just, as Jack had wished.
He wanted an equal partnership, in life and in bed too. It would provide them with an unexpected pleasure, to exchange roles occasionally. Ennis also seemed to see it that way, because after some time to breathe and 'reload' he urged Jack to turn around, for his turn to use the massage oil. When they fell asleep later, not only the oil bottle was empty ….
During the night a storm swept across the country. Ennis was woken by a loud clap of thunder. His arm was asleep because Jack was resting his head on it. He drew it gently from underneath Jack and walked quietly into the bathroom. When his eyes caught the mirror, he suddenly realized what had happened tonight. Jack had had him, from behind ... ... ...!
Inwardly he wanted to have Jack once again to feel that charge that had pushed him into something he did not want. He looked in the mirror and when he was honest with himself, he knew this wasn't true. He had wanted it tonight! Absolutely! Back in the tent on that mountain, he had also wanted it. Just as hot and intense as Jack did! Perhaps, even more than Jack. Jack had just kept quiet. He himself had been full of uncontrolled passion and pushed his cock in Jack. He, Ennis had been madly in love with the boy with the blue eyes!
Twenty long years he had wasted, with longing and self-deception. He had only yielded to his feelings, when he couldn't longer suppress it. Now he wanted to live at last! The period of self-denial was over! It was also about last night. It was so very good to feel Jack that way! So close! He could understand instantly what Jack had painfully missed, when he had to wait a long time, for one of their rare meetings.
As Ennis slipped back into bed, Jack was also awake. He asked, "All right?" Ennis replied softly, "Yes sure. I'm just wondering just what happened to Randall. . You haven't told me the whole thing." Jack looked at Ennis and said, "I will only tell it once and then, I never want to hear his name again." Ennis nodded and Jack told him about the infamous, drunken, helpless night and all that following. Ennis listened quietly. When Jack was finished with the story, Ennis growled: "He should be happy that he's gone, he is just as guilty as the men who bashed you! He had better keep his mouth shut." Jack had not looked at it that way, but it wasn't without logic.
The storm did not stop and when they left, early the next morning they drove in rain mixed with snow. "Welcome to Wyoming, my friend." Ennis said. Jack didn't answer. He was absorbed in thought. He looked forward to his mother and his home, but suddenly he was also aware of the loss of his father. Although he always had a difficult relationship with him, he was his father. The last few weeks had been very stressful for Jack and he suddenly longed for quiet and some time to process everything.
"Ennis?" "Hmh" Will you stay in Lightning Flat?" Ennis was silent for a moment. Jack could also did ask, "Will you marry me?" For Ennis the importance of the issue would have been the same. He looked at Jack and said in a strong voice "Yes." Jack smiled at him and nodded. Everything was said. Everything would be fine.
The storm continued. As they passed a signpost to Riverton, Ennis thought, for a brief moment about Alma and his children. It seemed as if that wasn't his life. As though, he had seen it only from the outside.
It was already dark, when they drove into the yard of the Twist Ranch. Jack's mother ran happily out of the door, when she saw Jack's car. "You're here! I'm so happy! I thought you were lost in the snow somewhere!" She hugged her son and Ennis as well. He felt a bit uncomfortable. After they talked and ate a little bit in the warm kitchen, Ennis went into the barn to check on his horses. But also wanted to give Jack and his mother an opportunity to be alone for a moment.
"Darling, are you well? Do you have pain? " She sounded worried " Mom I'll be healed soon. The cast on my arm will come off in two weeks and then I can work again soon." Mrs. Twist looked seriously at her son and asked him cautiously if Ennis would remain on the ranch. He understood, that she meant not only to help his recovery, but for always. Jack thought for a moment and then decided on the truth. "We love each other." His mother nodded and said softly "I know. It is okay. I like Ennis. It's just, I don't know ... ... " She broke off the sentence. Jack had always had a good relationship with his mother. He could imagine what was making her uncomfortable and he did not want to put her in an awkward situation."Mom… we will…." He gulped, "You won't hear us. Is that okay for you? "His mother smiled and said softly:" I only want you to be happy. We'll figure everything out."
Ennis came back from the barn. The horses had been treated well by the neighbors. He had planned to thank them most warmly for it. It was getting too late to unload the car. Mrs. Twist still made a hot cup of tea and Jack began to think about where they would sleep tonight. "Ennis, what are you smiling at? We can't sleep together in my childhood bed. Hardly enough space for one of us!" Mom laughed and said," I'm going to bed. Good night. Sleep well." She disappeared into her bedroom. Ennis was still smiling at Jack. Jack was becoming frustrated "Should we sleep in the barn, or what?" Ennis stood up and took Jack by the arm with an unusually affection grip and pulled him upstairs to the door of his room. He slowly opened the door, pushed a gentle kiss on Jack's neck and said quietly "Welcome home, Jack."
Jack was a surprised. Two new beds, side by side, with obviously, new pillows, blankets and bed covers. Jack was speechless with astonishment. This must have taken so much work! When they had made themselves comfortable in bed, Ennis told Jack of the extremely embarrassing episode, from the furniture store.
Jack laughed "Yes, if my mom wants something, she wants it! But I have to say – you've given me a nice surprise." They slept nestled close to each other, as they always did when they slept together in one bed.
Early in the next morning, Jack's mom got up and went to the bathroom. She could not resist the temptation to open the door a little and take a quick look at the two sleeping men. Ennis had his arm around Jack. Both were fast asleep an all doubt was swept from her heart. These two are in love. This couldn't be wrong. Life was just not as simple, as simple minds might imagine. She closed the door quietly and was convinced that everything would be fine.
But she wasn't able to fall asleep again. So she stayed up and provided a warm kitchen and a decent breakfast. It was Sunday. She was grateful that her son was still alive and was almost completely recovered. She wanted to go to the church today, most of all together with Jack and Ennis.
Jack and Ennis had slept well, as you can only sleep at home. As the aroma of fresh coffee and pancakes went through the house, they were soon lively. Ennis pulled Jack close to him and said softly "Good morning Cowboy, sleep well? Would you like to eat breakfast, before, or after?" Jack turned to Ennis, embraced him and whispered "Preferably after ... "
Love-making in the morning was always very nice but both knew that they didn't want, Jack's mom to hear them. It wasn't necessary to talk about it. After one gentle half-hour, they stood up.
Jack went into the kitchen first. His mother had just set the table and she was humming a tune from the radio. Jack felt strange. Perhaps it was because his mother knew that he and Ennis were a couple. Ennis wasn't any different. Jack saw it in his eyes when he sat opposite to him at the breakfast table. His mother didn't create an embarrassing situation. She served them coffee with good humor and then talked about her desire to go to church. After breakfast, they unloaded everything from the car that Lureen had packed and piled it all in the corridor. It would not be easy to find a place for all of it that was clear.
As Ennis came into the barn to feed the horses, Billy, the sixteen-year-old son of the neighbors was there throwing down hay from the hayloft. He welcomed Ennis in a friendly manner "Hey, Ennis! Back again! Is Jack alright? " "Hi Billy! Yes, he'll be fine, just got a cast on his arm for another two weeks. Thank you for the horses. Have you been doin' this the whole time?" Billy grinned down from the hayloft "Yes, I liked doing it, Peggy helped!" Ennis looked at the grinning boy and thought about what the horses might have heard in the last few days. "Ah, Peggy helped you. And then you probably just 'cleaned up' the hayloft!" Billy blushed and hastened to say:"? Ennis you won't squeal on me to my Dad will you? "Ennis laughed and said "I will tell him that you have really helped me and I am grateful. Is that OK with you and with Peggy?" Billy climbed, still blushing from the hayloft and said "Thank you." before he disappeared.
Ennis felt horrible at the church. Jack was no different. Contrary to all their fears, they were welcomed by neighbors and acquaintances in a friendly manner. Jack was asked about his accident and praised Ennis for his help and no one even slightly looked at them strangely. Mrs. Twist was pleased. During the service she looked right and left to Jack and Ennis and tried to imagine the life of her new family.
Later, at lunch, the awkward mood vanished and they started to make plans for the future. Jack's mother had already talked with Ennis about her desires. She would like a few dairy cows and to add on to the house including a veranda. Jack knew that his mother had always dreamed of a big veranda and that his father had always been against it. She was pleased to hear that they both agreed to and were happy to build an addition with a bedroom, a bathroom and a living room for her, of course with a covered porch. She already saw herself sitting in a comfortable rocking chair. Jack wanted to tear up walls and arrange new rooms for Ennis and himself. Ennis dreamed aloud of calves and foals. It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon!
Later as Jack's mother cleaned the dishes, Ennis persuaded Jack to come to the barn to consider how best to add cows and calves. Jack wasn't really concerned with what Ennis wanted in the hayloft, but Ennis told him with an innocent air of Billy and Peggy. "Ennis you're really impossible!" The last syllable was swallowed by a kiss from Ennis. The hay smelled nice and both were very happy. Afterwards Ennis said "Not, that it's not good now, but I'm looking forward to the summer when the crop for your mother is ready."
The next day was Monday. It was the first day of a normal life on a ranch in Wyoming. It was cold and windy. They worked, cooked, ate, talked and slept.
Some days later, at night, Ennis lay awake and tried to be clear about his feelings. He rolled around in bed until Jack was awake, too. "Ennis, what's going on? Are you alright?" "Yes, very good, in fact, I just didn't know until now, what is was to feel this way."
The moon shone bright. Jack looked at Ennis, held him close and said "I know what you mean. That's called happiness."
"Yeah… well, I could get used to it."
End