Here it is! I really can't be bothered to do any of my funny Fairy Tail comments, so this is just disclaimed. Neither El or Fairyhearts own Fairy Tail or its characters. I only wish I could...

Gray

Everyone in the guild was talking about the job that Erza was supposed to have found for us. It sounded alright. We just had to guard some hotel while they had some important guests. It was going to be easy enough. Even so, it was going to be way more exciting than the guild was now. I would love to have something to do at the moment. Anything!

I saw Natsu walking towards me. Finally! Some action to look forward to. I readied my fists, waiting for the punch fight to start. I looked around in surprise when I realised that it hadn't started yet.

"When are you going to stop standing there like an idiot and listen to what I have to say," Natsu moaned from his slumped position at the table, "I have a problem!"
"You mean you aren't going to fight me?" I asked incredulously, dropping my fists to my sides dejectedly, "I was hoping that something exciting or unusual would happen today, but by that I meant that I might win a fight, not that it never happens!"
"I don't want to fight right now," Natsu said miserably, "Lucy ignored me!"
"She did!? I thought you two were, you know, together."
"WHAAAA? Why would you think that?"
"Well, you're always with her and you always get on far too well for the annoying jerk and whiny brat that you are."
"That's not nice! Lucy's not a whiny brat…she's kind of pretty."
"That's my point! You cared more about me insulting Lucy than me insulting you. You didn't even try to fight me after I said that. You haven't called me any insulting names yet, either. Why do you have to be so boring?"
"So what? You always insult me."
"Ugh! You barely ever listen to me, do you?" I sighed. He must really like Lucy.
"I don't listen to you because you never have anything interesting to say."
"What did you just say, flamebrain?"
"Now you're the one not listening."
"Huh?" I was really confused now.
"Anyway, can you just talk to Lucy for me?"
"Fine," I sighed. Natsu was so going to pay for this. Why did I have to do the talking to girls, anyway? He should have gone to Mira for that. I almost laughed out loud. I had the perfect plan to annoy Natsu.

I walked over to where Lucy was practically sleeping on the table. I sat down beside her. She didn't even notice me. I sighed and said, "This is really bad!"
She turned around to me and greeted me with, "Gray, your clothes."
"I don't care about that now," I said exasperatedly, "It's really bad. Natsu just came to me complaining about his problems. To me!"
"Are you sure he wasn't trying to start a fight?"
"I've known him longer than you, Blondie."
"Hey! He doesn't sleep at your house, does he?"
"What?" I said evilly, pretending to be shocked. Everything was just working out too well. Natsu was going to be furious. "He spends the night now? I wonder what other ugly things you two get up to when we're not around."
Her reaction was perfect. "WHAAAA?" she screamed, "No way! No way! No WAY!" I watched as her face flushed with embarrassment. I couldn't help it. I had to laugh. It was just too funny.

Suddenly, I had a brilliant idea. "Did you hear about the new job Erza chose?" I asked mock innocently.
"Yes, I did."
"Did you hear the we have to pretend that two of us are a couple?"
"No, I didn't. Who do you think Erza will choose to do that?"
I almost laughed out loud. She was completely falling for my trap. "Well, you and Natsu are practically married," I said as though in thought, "So it'll probably be you guys."
"What?"
I watched as Lucy's face practically turned purple. Yes! Gray: 50 million, Lucy: -2. (El: You know, only perverts keep scoreboards… Gray: Stop making me sound like one, then El: Ha! No way! You brought it on yourself)
"You guys are going to have to have nicknames for each other," I said through my laughter, "You could call each other Lucy-Wucy and Natsy-Watsy!" I doubled over with laughter at the look on Lucy's face.
"Stop it!" she said, "This is really REALLY silly. Maybe I could tell Erza that I wasn't OK with doing it. She might do it with you then, Gray."
I felt the blood drain out of my face. That was partly due to the thought of Erza finding out about my huge lie and partly at the thought of having to pair up with Erza. I quickly perked up, though, as I thought of an amazing answer. "I don't think so," I said pretending to be serious, "She already informed Makarov who the couple were. You two, of course!"
Lucy buried her head in her hands and said, "No, no, no, no. This cannot be happening!"
I grinned and added, "You guys are going to have to hold hands and everything. Apparently, we have to arrange passionate kisses once in a while too."

I felt kind of mean after that, but I didn't stop. It was just too funny. Lucy was reacting so perfectly. She had no idea that it was a huge joke.

"Anyway, what was Natsu's problem that you were talking about?" Lucy asked, obviously trying to change the subject,
"Oh!" I said, trying to work out how I could twist around her question to embarrass her even more, "He was wondering why you were ignoring him. Trouble in Paradise, is there?

Lucy's eyes flashed furiously. She was hilarious when she was angry. She stood up and said angrily, "I'm going to go to Erza."
I froze to the spot as she started to walk away. If Erza found out what I'd done she would murder me. Literally.

I grabbed Lucy's shoulder and she turned around, looking confused. "I was messing, OK?" I whispered urgently to her, "Don't tell Erza! None of it was true."

I tried to pull her back, but she was still annoyed with me and tried to resist. I pulled harder and she overbalanced, crashing into me. She started to fall backwards again from the impact, so I put my arms around her. I didn't want her blaming me for falling over as well!

I stiffened as I felt Lucy relax into the sudden embrace. I was really confused. She wanted a hug after I did that!? I self-consciously held onto her, presuming that she thought it was an apology of some sort. What was I supposed to do?

Suddenly, her whole body froze as if she had just realised she was still hugging me. She pulled out of my grasp as though I had a disease. I sighed with relief. That had been awkward.

I took a glance at her. Her face had turned a puce colour. She seemed to be struggling to keep her emotions in check.

I looked at her, trying not to laugh. Out of nowhere, she lifted up her hand and slapped my face. Hard. She marched out of the guild door muttering profanities that were probably aimed at me. I touched my face. It was sore. She had a surprisingly good arm. I guess blondes are good at something then.

I saw Natsu heading towards me. I rethought my actions. Maybe I could've done something a bit less obvious. He was looking seriously mad.

OK! I just reread that and I couldn't stop laughing! I was even the one that wrote it...It was a really good mood breaker. Romeo and Juliet can be really depressing. Who else thought it was supposed to be about love? *puts up hand

Anyway, hope you like it and I'm really sorry for taking so long to update it. It was all Fairyhearts' fault. She got banned from her computer after all...