Chapter 2.
When Blake arrived at the hospital she ignored all the thoughts that ran rampid around her mind. She looked around the front reception for Lynne but couldn't see her. Blake was confused that she wasn't there to greet her, but mid thought she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. When she picked it out it read 'I had to get home. Got some work to do. Text me when you have left so I can go back to the hospital. Let me know if there are any problems. Hope to see you soon, Blake. Thanks, Lynne' after reading the text she decided she would reply later and she briskly made her way to the front desk where she approached a brunette, probably in her mid 50s who was wearing far too much make-up for someone her age.
Regardless, Blake opened her mouth and voiced 'Hi. I'm here to see Penn Badgley. Can you tell me which room he's in please?'
The woman looked at her with squinted eyes and without hesitation replied 'Are you related to Mr. Badgley?' Blake paused as she thought about her actions, for a second she was tempted to lie and pretend she was his sister or something. But honestly they didn't look much alike, having said that she could pull it off, I mean she was an actress! She was sure she could fool the brunette, who clearly hadn't heard of either of them; however she decided to remain on the right side of the law and told the woman she was just 'an old friend', boy was that putting it mildly!
The brunette glanced back up at the beautiful blonde and replied 'Nice one, sweetie. But you don't fool me. Please leave before I notify security'. Blake was taken aback by this woman's pure rudeness, Blake hadn't even pretended she was a relative and she was certainly honest, if not making herself out to know Penn less than she did. Blake was so infuriated by the woman's comment she was tempted to slam her hands down on the desk and tell her how she'd known him since she was only 11 years old but she decided to refrain from her actions, which was probably a good idea.
As Blake began to make her way towards the exit, secretly fuming she wasn't allowed to see him; she felt a gentle tap on her shoulder, she turned and saw a much younger female (who was actually a doctor, not some foul receptionist), a little older than herself who spoke softly and said 'Come with me.'
Blake didn't hesitate to argue and followed the woman down a corridor and into an elevator. Once the doors had closed the doctor began to speak; 'Unlike the woman at reception, I do read gossip magazines and are aware of your history with Mr. Badgley. I hope you understand, the relative question is just protocol' Blake nodded as she softly smiled at the doctor, thankful she had granted her a chance to see Penn, although she was still unsure what to say or do, she just knew she'd regret it if she didn't go to see him.
Once the two approached the door the doctor turned to Blake and asked 'Has anyone briefed you on his condition?' Blake gulped as she prepared for the response, she shaked her head and the doctor began to speak in a slow monotone, which was probably routine when telling someone bad news. After hearing what the doctor had to say she felt a little better, his situation was certainly more positive than the way the article she had read had put it and she was glad to know he had a good chance from waking up from his unconscious state, even though the car accident had left him in pretty bad shape.
Blake grabbed the doorknob in her right hand and began to turn it, but the doctor interrupted her and whispered 'And one last thing; he can hear you so make sure to keep it positive and try and hold it together when you're in there'. Blake simply nodded as she continued to turn the doorknob round and pushed the door open. Blake stood there. Still. As though her whole body had been frozen and her feet were glued to the floor. The doctor had left and it was just her left alone in his room. She stood and stared at him as her eyes began to fill up with water droplets which quickly blurred her vision, but Blake furiously blinked away the tears that battled to fall. She made her way towards his bed and slowly and carefully sat on the chair next to him. She just looked at him. Did nothing else, she didn't move she didn't think, she just stared at his face as her brain tried to familiarise herself with the situation she was in. After a few minutes of stillness she looked down at her hands which were clasped together tightly on her lap, if she had been here 5 years ago she would be tightly gripping her hands around his as tears streamed down her face, burying her face in his hand. But it wasn't 2008. Times had changed and she was no longer his, she belonged to someone else now and she really needed to get used to it.
She had decided holding his hand wasn't appropriate, despite the fact he'd probably be unaware of her actions anyway. Blake scanned her eyes over his body as she saw one of his legs held in place by a metal grip and one of his arms wrapped in a cast. As she reached the end of her tour of his broken body her eyes met his face again and without warning she began to speak.
'I know what you're thinking. What am I doing here, right? I...I don't know either...But I do know I needed to see you, I needed to be here and make sure you're okay.' Blake shook her head as she wondered whether she should go on or just run out the door and never look back. 'I...I hate what's happened to us, Penn. We promised we'd stay friends and we promised we'd keep in touch...and we didn't. And what makes it worse is that I know it's my fault. I know I've changed because you don't act the same way around me as you did...Or maybe that's just because we've changed, you know? We're not the same people, of course we're not. Being together changed us, it changed who we were together. We can't be who we were in 2007 because that was before anything happened. But now, things are different and we can't go back to that, I know we can't. But I wish things were different. No I'm not saying I wish we were still together because I know we can't be.' Those words broke her a little inside as she sniffed away more tears that threatened to fall, she knew she was treading on dangerous ground but she couldn't help herself but go on.
'We don't want the same things. We can't be happy together because one of us will always be resentful of the other for taking away what they always wanted...or didn't want. You wanted to be young forever and be able to do whatever we wanted...you wanted to see the world together and not worry about a future but just live in the moment. And I loved that about us...I did. But...I...I can't do that, Penn. Hell why am I even saying this? I'm married, it's not like we're getting back together.'
Blake stopped in her tracks and realised despite Penn being unconscious if the doctors were right, he could hear what she was saying and she wasn't sure she wanted him to. Maybe she was talking to herself more than anything else, but she knew she needed to get it out somehow or another.
'You want a life of fun and I...I don't...I mean I didn't want that. I have what I wanted now.' It scared her. She had what she wanted. She'd had it for a while now. Everything was falling into place...she was married and she knew it wouldn't be long before she would have a family too. Everything was as she had always dreamed it being. Then why wasn't she happy? Why did she find herself nostalgic for her former life? Why was she even here? Why wasn't she enjoying her new, happy and successful life with her brilliant husband? Why was she in a cold hospital room staring at her ex, wondering if she'd be happier if they were still together? She had everything she ever wanted...but somehow, deep down she felt like the person lying opposite her was what was missing.
A/N: I hope this chapter is better than the first one, I think I prefer it anyway. Writing chapter 3 as we speak. Thank you all for your amazing reviews, please let me know what you thought of this one. Oh and also, my main aim with this story is to keep it as realistic as possible. The thing I love about a lot of fanfics is if I believe it could happen. If this story begins to become unrealistic, please let me know! P.S. I know this chapter may be a little unrealistic, but it'll be resolved (hopefully) in the next chapter. :)