Jack hid behind a car on the side of the road, trying to stay out of sight. He knew it was dumb, considering that he was hiding from two grown adults who could probably see him as well as they could see the wind, but this was a real problem.
Two masked men dressed entirely in black were trying to break into the Bennetts' property in the dead of the night.
Jamie and his family were vacationing at Hawaii at the moment. It was obvious from the fact that the Bennetts' blue sedan was not in the garage and the lack of the usual barks and yaps from Abby the greyhound. The house was probably going to stay that way for a couple of weeks during winter break.
Jack had been up to his usual shenanigans before he heard a loud crash, and a panicked "Keep it down, you clumsy moron!"
Naturally, Jack went to investigate, and that was when he found the mysterious men trying (one of them failing pathetically) to climb over the fence that surrounded the Bennetts' lawn. For some reason, Jack doubted they were going to leave a surprise welcome back present for the family.
Now, one of the intruders glared at the one who fell down, his dark brown eyes and fiercely scrunched up eyebrows standing out from his dark fabric-covered face. He was skinny and unnaturally tall, looking like he could be pushed over by the wind at any time.
"What are you trying to do, wake the whole town?" he hissed. His plump partner sat up, leaning on his elbows while wincing. He glanced to his left, noticing an upset trash can with ice-cream sticks and fruit fly covered banana peels spilling out like lava from a volcano.
"At least they're sleeping, Boss," he said guiltily. Bones - the name Jack gave to the lanky guy - glowered at him.
"No, they're hiding behind bushes and eating muffins - of course they're sleeping! ," he whisper/yelled. He whacked him on the head for good measure.
Jack felt kind of sorry for the round guy who he dubbed Baldy (his head was shiny enough to be seen from space). But he was a crook all the same.
While Baldy got to his feet and attempted to tackle his greatest, worst enemy otherwise known as the fence, Jack snatched up a foul-smelling fish skeleton while pinching his nose with his other hand. It might come in handy later. Bones was so engrossed in watching Baldy suffer that he didn't even notice the skeleton floating in midair.
Once Baldy managed to get to the top of the fence, he wore a look of pure surprise on his face. "I made it!" he cried, as if that was the biggest achievement of the night so far. "I actually made it, Boss!"
Bones snorted. "Save the cheering for later. It's a miracle the fence can even hold your weight."
Well then, Jack thought, let's start the cheering now! He soared up to the fence, rested on his toes and looked over Baldy, who was still looking quite stunned. He wasn't very bright if he's still staying on the top of the fence, completely forgetting about the point of intruding.
Jack gave him a light push with his finger.
"Timber!" he said.
Baldy yelped, and tumbled onto the pile of rubbish next to the trash can he upset earlier.
Bones cursed. Baldy got up, looking dazed. "Wha- what just happened?"
"You lost your balance and a few brain cells from the fall, that's what happened." Bones pointed a finger at him, and raised an eyebrow. "You can't walk five steps without causing some kind of racket. You just stay here. I'm going in myself." With that, he positioned his hands on the fence and started to haul himself over.
Now would be a good time to use the fish skeleton. Jack tossed it onto Bones's face.
Bones sputtered, and dropped down to Baldy's feet. The look on his face was pure repulsiveness. Baldy towered over Bones with concern. "Boss?"
"What was that for?!" Bones yelled, forgetting his own rule. Baldy looked nervously around him, saying, "Um, Boss, I don't think we should…"
Bones lost it then, calling Baldy so many insulting yet hilarious names that Jack nearly fell over laughing. They tried to scale the fence again, but Jack was there to make sure they didn't. Again and again they tried, and again and again they fell on their backs, faces, or butts.
Finally Jack gave them a break. He let them climb over the fence undisturbed, but he wasn't finished with them. Oh no. The fun was just beginning.
"Gentlemen, let me introduce to you a game called Slip and Slide." As their feet left the manicured grass from the lawn onto the smooth concrete of the driveway, Jack covered the entire surface area of the floor with a glistening carpet of frost. Of course, the crooks started to skid and slide on the frictionless ground. Baldy's feet flew out from underneath him, and his head slammed onto the ice so hard a huge crack appeared and discontinued the smooth surface of the ice. Bones had the sense to quickly jump back onto the grass. His mouth hung open so wide that Jack was sure a hundred mosquitoes could enter his mouth at once.
"How - How - Ice… what?" he stammered, his eyelids lifting up to reveal his entire eyeballs.
"Ow… Boss, could use a little help here…" Baldy groaned, rubbing his head with one hand. Jack squatted in front of him, and winced when he saw a lump the size of a tennis ball beginning to emerge from his forehead.
"Shush, you bag, I'm thinking." Warily, Bones crawled across the ice on all fours.
"Oh, no you don't," Jack said, and hooked Bones's left arm and yanked. Bones instantly sprawled out on the ice, face down.
"Please, stop!" Bones wailed. "I just want to get some loot, okay? No big deal!"
No big deal? Jack snorted. He waved his hand in front of Bones, but his non-reacting response told him that he still didn't believe in him. He was just so desperate that he started to get a little delusional.
The door handle was just inches away from Bones now. He grabbed it, pulling himself up. He steadied himself first, holding on to the handle as if it were a lifeline. He then reached for a lock-picking set Jack hadn't noticed earlier.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, just what do you think you're doing, sir?" Jack lashed out with his staff and froze the padlock, metal body, shackle and all. Bones froze too, staying still and unmoving for so long that Jack wondered if he'd accidentally froze him too.
Bones lost control of his voice again. "Why is this happening to me?!" He stomped around like a whiny brat, completely forgetting about the ice. As he slipped yet again, Jack said nonchalantly, "Oh, 'cause someone's trying to ruin your day."
The sky was starting to turn a hazy shade of gray, and the stars glowed a little dimmer. The crooks had arrived at around 4 o' clock in the morning, but their unexpected playtime with Jack had delayed them by several hours. At any minute now, the regular old uncle would start to water his flowers, the middle-aged adult doing his morning jog. Bones grumbled, then crawled his way out of the makeshift ice rink, Baldy following behind his heels (literally).
"Going so soon, friends?" Jack casually swung his staff in a low arc, freezing… their feet.
Having his feet encased in solid ice blocks was more than enough for Bones. A clear, furious shout exploded from his throat, scaring away all the pigeons that perched on the electric wires. Yelps of "Where are my feet?! I can't feel them!" accompanied the scream.
Of course, curious neighbors started to emerge - opening windows, doors, on the road, all staring straight at the shouting, raging spectacle that was Bones and Baldy. From one window, Jack could see a lady with her hair in curlers dialed a number on her phone.
Then it happened. Bones looked up at Jack. He blinked and squinted, then seemed taken aback by what he saw. It took Jack a moment to realize that he was looking at him.
"You!" he sputtered. "You caused this! Why, you miserable little worm! Who are you?!"
"You need to take some anger control classes, buddy," chuckled Jack. As he floated off his seat from the fence, he added, "Feel free to come back here anytime you like! There's more where all this" - he gestured to their feet, the padlock, the ice-covered ground- "came from!"
As Bones watched, stupidified, Jack rose into the sky, and blasted off, leaving a shower of snowflakes in his wake.
A/N:
Woohoo, it's the holidays! An entire week off from school, and plenty of time to write. And rest and eat and sleep and procrastinating in schoolwork.
I hope I'm joking about the procrastinating part.
Anyways, hope you enjoyed reading! It was lots of fun writing this chapter. I'm getting inspired by Jack. I might want to be a prankster too.