The Romancer Shadowstep
Episode Two: Fake Wreathe Days run in the family
Good to see you accepted the assignment. I warn you however, that this series will self-destruct in 30 episodes…
Master Rogue Shadowstep looked every man in the eye before he concluded his presentation. Each spymaster of the Alliance leaned forward in their seats, impatient to hear the findings of what the retiring Shadowstep promised was the most groundbreaking investigation of his career. Second Commander Myrielle Fadeleaf sat on his right.
"And so, from what my intelligence indicates," Shadowstep told his colleagues around the meeting table, "Van Cleef is working in Westfall with the Goblins to ship minerals across The Great Sea to agents of the Steamwheedle Cartel. If we challenge them, they will only deny it; that's why the Goblins are not working under that name."
"Much like the Venture Co. Why didn't we think of this before!" Dwarven Spymaster Ranthiel Goldstein sputtered. The normally stalwart Dwarven Master Rogue had been drinking steadily since before the meeting and he leaned a little out of his chair.
"It's all about business to them." Shadowstep nodded and continued, "The Steamwheedle Cartel is actually behind many illegal operations in Azeroth, each generating its own brand of hardship for the locals. Take Colonel Kurzen in Stranglethorn Vale for instance—"
"Or, the Sludge Fen in Kalimdor, and then there's that massive dig in Windshear Crag, right across the mountains from Night Elf lands!" Human Master Rogue Mathias Shaw put in.
"Gentlemen, I have indeed made a profound discovery." Shadowstep agreed, moving the conversation forward. "The Steamwheedle Cartel is behind nearly all the mischief in our homelands, and working under subsidiaries to hide how they profit. Though they are no doubt pulling the strings from Undermine, we aren't so far off from making a case against them. I brought you all here today because I have a plan, one so heinous and complex that no man alive will ever be able to—"
"What's that noise?" interrupted Second Commander Myrielle. Her voice was practiced and mechanical. Then she sighed and gave Shadowstep a disappointed look. He acknowledged their little secret with a half-smile.
"I'm not sure, Second Commander Myrielle. I guess I'd better go and see what the matter is." Shadowstep said innocently. Then he whispered to Myrielle, "She's right on time, just like I planned. Well, I guess I'm off. Think you can handle the meeting from here, Myra?"
"Certainly." She intoned back. "Now remember, when Feathershine begs you to offer your wreathe again, try to look surprised at least. I know that you'll be itching to gloat over your success." She frowned.
Shadowstep chuckled softly and made his way to the dark tunnel leading up to the surface. It was the only way in and out of the KRN headquarters.
A delightful and slightly annoying melody carried down the tunnel entrance as soon as Shadowstep left. Then, he immediately rushed back into the Main Foyer, terrified. A cheerful army of novices marched close behind on his heels. They were singing:
"…And thank the Elune for Jebidiaaath,
For Feathershiine has found her beau,
And for all Darnassus to watch and wondeer,
At how Elune blesses true looove."
A double file of novice priestesses marched into the room. Their bright yellow and green robes stood out sharply against the dark, lantern-lit foyer. Their movements were evenly matched, like soldiers. Each young woman carried a small bunch of pink flowers. They surrounded Shadowstep, Myrielle, and their renowned guests, then folded their hands in prayer front of them. The flowers they set on the floor, bending down gracefully in perfect unison. The whole synchronized affair was impressive.
"What on Azeroth is going on?" Shadowstep demanded of the happy girls. They went on singing and would not answer him.
"Who's Jebidiath?" the Gnome spymaster everyone called 'The Steamer' scowled.
"Oh, well Jebidiath is—"
"Don't answer that question!" Shadowstep growled at Myrielle.
"What's going on here?" Mathias Shaw cocked his head at Shadowstep. "This is important business… as if it weren't enough that you spurned one of my agents yesterday, now you're sabotaging an important Alliance investigation? You very own investigation?" Mathias Shaw looked angry. "You promised us that the KRN was the safest place to meet, Shadowstep."
"Why are there interruptions?" the Dwarf Goldstein demanded. He sounded more than a bit surly.
"I… I don't know what's going on." Shadowstep fretted. Myrielle looked concerned too.
"Jebidiath Shadowstep!" Priestess Feathershine was last to emerge from the dark hallway. A younger priestess, named Windsong stood by her side. Feathershine gestured to Windsong and the woman nodded in turn. She raised her wand above her head, as would a conductor, and abruptly swept out her arms to signal for silence. The song ended instantly.
"Priestess Feathershine? What are you doing—" But that was when Shadowstep noticed what the enchanting priestess was wearing. It was the most beautiful dress he had ever seen.
Delicate pink lace, the exact color of her skin made Feathershine look naked from far away. Then, she came into the light and it became clear that she was, in fact, wearing something. As if that weren't enough, the near transparent lace had been stitched tight over her curves and revealed much of her body underneath. Feathershine was Shadowstep's age, to be sure, but she'd only become more alluring as time wore on. As a young woman she had been slimmer, but now when she walked with her graceful deliberate air, rounded hips swayed like a deadly cobra. The shoulders leaned back then slowly roved forward in what Feathershine did not seem to realize was a kind of womanly strut, she did it so naturally. Her exquisite bosom rose and fell in a way that distracted like the sun itself moving through the heavens.
The unflinching confidence of this woman propelled her near perfect feminine attributes into an aggressive battle with Shadowstep's better sense. Yet, somehow, this seductive woman was also a Priestess of Elune? How many times had Shadowstep fancied that Feathershine would make an excellent rogue with her disarming beauty? Then, just as quickly, he would admonish himself for daring to think of changing her, the woman of his dreams. Priestess Feathershine was the sort of woman who should not exist: as wise and virtuous as Elune, but who also possessed a natural mien that could engender the worst kinds of thoughts and impulses in men. It made the Master Rogue's knees feel weak. Seventy years had gone by, and Shadowstep still felt like he was seeing Feathershine for the first time.
The Dwarf spymaster Goldstein let out a low whistle. "She's a priestess, you say?" he whispered to Myrielle.
Shadowstep had not turned to see, but felt the hungry gazes his colleagues shoot through him to his secret love. Hot jealousy began its slow burn deep in his gut. Shadowstep's jaw tightened.
"Seventy years ago, you asked me to wear your wreathe but I did not answer you." Priestess Feathershine tilted her chin up with the air of a queen, and a silken authoritative tone roiled up from her throat to match.
Beside Shadowstep, Myrielle snickered, and told the other Alliance master rogues, "From what I remember, and I do because I hear a certain someone complain about it all the time, Feathershine answered all right. She said 'No.'"
"Myra—" Shadowstep warned. The Second Commander was definitely enjoying this too much.
"It was definitely 'No', because every year on that day you cry and keep the whole KRN up with your pity party." She ignored her boss's warning. Now that she'd unofficially taken over things, Myrielle was getting cocky.
"Myrielle! That's enough!" Shadowstep's eyes bulged. But it was too late. Shadowstep's colleagues Mathias Shaw, Master Rogue Goldstein, and The Steamer started laughing as well.
Priestess Feathershine cleared her throat and went on with her loud speech. "I regret that I rejected you all those years ago because I broke your heart, and we wasted so much time. But, today, I have come here with my novices to celebrate our love. I have made up my mind about you, Jebidiath Shadowstep." She announced.
Shadowstep cringed. He expected Feathershine to interrupt his meeting, but had not imagined anything as grand as this. He was embarrassed, caught between his laughing superiors and the woman he truly ached for.
"Can we discuss this outside?" his voice broke.
"My answer is yes."
Shadowstep froze. Hearing the woman he loved say those words, especially in that dress, affected him in a way that he was not prepared for.
"Sir? Sir, are you alright? I think he needs to sit down—" Myrielle exaggerated. She could not stop smiling.
"You… want to marry me?"
"That is not what a Wreathe Day is silly." Feathershine narrowed her long emerald eyebrows at him. "I agree to marry you sometime in the future, if it's still a good idea, and Elune allows us to live that long."
"Works for me." Shadowstep shrugged. There was a dumb smile on his face.
"Furthermore, to make up for all those years I made you wait, I propose that we have one extra day added to our Wreathe Day for every year that was wasted."
Myrielle began to guffaw in a very unladylike way. All the other Kaldorei agents who-- like good rogues--were obviously listening in on their boss's meeting, came out of their offices into the Main Foyer. They started laughing at their guild leader too. Everyone, it seemed, knew about Shadowstep's secret romance.
"What in blazes does that mean!" Dwarven Master Rogue Goldstein asked on behalf of himself the other spymasters who didn't get the Kaldorei joke.
"Well, the real point of a Wreathe Day is for a Kaldorei couple to have sex for the first time."
"Don't explain to him!" Shadowstep snapped at Myrielle, and then whispered, "I'm going to get you for enjoying this at my expense."
The Steamer stared up at the ceiling as he did a mental calculation. "Does that mean… she's offering you seventy days of guilt-free—"
"Now that's what I call a woman!" the Dwarf Goldstein interrupted. "And a fine looking lass at that—"
"Don't dare talk about my woman that way!" Shadowstep blurted out. The rogues flew into another bout of laughter at his expense.
Myrielle nudged Shadowstep again and whispered, "Oh, and by the way, she's given you seventy days of Wreathe Day honeymoon, but your contract says forty. I still expect your completed mission report by then."
Shadowstep raised both eyebrows at his second commander. She really had followed in his footsteps… but he didn't feel so proud about it now.
"Shadowstep?" Priestess Feathershine interrupted his muted conversation with Myrielle.
"Yes, Deliah?" Shadowstep whimpered. The rogues leaned over on their knees and held their sides, hearing their guild leader melt like that. Shadowstep blushed red. "…Err, I mean, Priestess Feathershine?"
"Well? Are you just going to stand there? What is your answer?"
The laughing of the other rogues rose to fever pitch. Shadowstep hesitated.
"That's not how it works," Shadowstep began picking at details to make himself feel better. "I'm supposed to ask you… then you're supposed to be flattered and… be the woman for Elune's sake!" he shouted at her, embarrassed. How emasculating was this?
"It seems you need convincing. I was prepared for that, however. Novices?" Priestess Feathershine made a cue to Windsong, who raised her wand and began to count out the beat for another verse of the song:
"… And on their first Springtime he took her tooo the foreest,
Where squirrels play and little fawns juuump,
But for some reason he could not finiiish,
So they dated after until he got it—"
"Gaah! Alright, yes, I do! Where's the damn wreathe!"
Everyone in the Cenarion Enclave roared with laughter on hearing about their fearsome leader's embarrassing first Springtime. Night Elves were generally very liberal and encouraged their children to go out into the forest and enjoy having sex for the first time. However, Shadowstep clearly had a terrible time of it. Feathershine was supposed to keep something so embarrassing from his youth a secret! Only a Priestess of Elune would be so obsessed with temple gossip as to use it like a weapon against him. Damn this matriarchy we have going… Shadowstep thought.
Two novices standing near the doorway got a pink wreathe of flowers from Priestess Windsong, then ceremoniously walked over and placed it on Shadowstep's head. His high green ponytail made it sit off center, and helped transform his staunch swept back hairdo into something girlish. Then all the girls cheered and tossed flower petals in his direction. Shadowstep's violet skin turned even redder.
Priestess Feathershine walked over and took his hand in hers. "Just so we're clear," her sweet warm breath against his cheek made Shadowstep inhale sharply. "Even though I brought the wreathe and the traditional roles are reversed, you're still buying me all the Wreathe Day presents this evening." Then she blew kisses to the cheering crowd and waved at them with a polite hand raised above her head. She gestured like a queen, tilting her wrist just so.
As he scanned the room, Shadowstep was horrified to see that even the hunters and druids had come downstairs to see what the commotion was. The monstrous Archdruid towered over the slew of tree-huggers from upstairs, and even his stern face was split by a bemused smile.
"What in Elune's name is wrong with you, coming in here and embarrassing me in this way? Don't you care about me at all?" Shadowstep growled angrily. Then sober realization washed through him: Feathershine was only doing what he'd forced her to do.
Priestess Feathershine smiled for the sake of the crowd. "I'm using you, I'm afraid. We need to get away from Darnassus and fast without Tyrande suspecting I'm up to something again. This whole performance is loud and obnoxious, isn't it? However, Tyrande will certainly hear about it by tomorrow and believe we're sincere when I ask her permission to leave Darnassus. And… I'm afraid the dress, the song, and speech were necessary to convince you. You're always so suspicious of everything I do and I couldn't leave any room for you to decline. I'm so sorry Jebidiath, but this was the only thing Windsong and I could come up with on such short notice."
"Wait… you're manipulating me?" Shadowstep balked. Certainly, he'd pushed her into it, but all the grand singing, and the breathtaking dress… for a brief moment he'd really believed in it. Shadowstep's heart sank. This was the only way he could have Feathershine, wasn't it? He started to regret manipulating her into it. He felt pathetic.
Shadowstep fairly pouted. Some feet away, he thought he saw Myrielle mouth, "I told you so."
Then, something occurred to the Master Rogue. He cringed at having to confirm, "So… you're not really offering me seventy straight days of—"
"Absolutely not! What part of 'I'm using you' don't you understand? Just what kind of woman do you take me for?" Feathershine put her hands on her hips. Shadowstep wanted to cry.
Author's Note:
I update this fanfiction once a week, so at the least you'll get one episode weekly. Sometimes I go crazy and post more than one at a time. Oh, and I don't really know that this story will be 30 episodes long; that was just for fun. Happy reading!