Author's Note: I'm so excited people are liking the story and that people other than myself (and my parents) still like this show and its characters after all these years! I've actually written most of this story but will try to space out the release of the chapters a little bit to make it more fun :)

Disclaimer: Characters not mine.

Chapter 2

"I Know You're Not Blind"

When Bobby showed up for work the next morning his captain told him that Eames had taken a few days off to be with her family. He felt a mixture of relief and disappointment fill him. He managed to keep himself busy and dwelled a bit too much on whether Dr. Gyson had reached her yet.

Probably not, he thought. If she's out of town she probably hasn't checked her messages.

But maybe she has, another voice countered, after all, Gyson must've called her on her work phone, and she has to answer that…

Coming to no consensus, Bobby slept restlessly that night. He dreamed Alex was telling Dr. Gyson (who was morphing into Nicole Wallace) about his real father, who was a serial killer…Declan…who was standing over a dead Captain Ross whispering "you're free now Bobby"…Rodgers was crying over him and as Bobby ran to her Ross' body morphed into Frank's, and he was suddenly in a graveyard, his mother's gravestone in front of him, but the name engraved read "Alexandra Eames"…

He woke suddenly, gasping for breath and sweating profusely. It took a good minute for his heart to stop pounding and he reached for the glass of water on the table to his left. He supposed he should analyze his dream – Dr. Gyson would probably want him to – but the images were so raw in his mind that he wasn't sure he could think about it rationally. Nevertheless, he felt he should try – so he took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

He knew of course that it was all stemming from his obsession about whether Alex would talk to Dr. Gyson, and what she would say about him. It was eating him up a bit that he hadn't been honest with her about his father, or about Declan…he supposed he had dreamed Declan was his father because he was the closest thing he'd ever really had to one – and after all, he thought as his stomach gave a lurch, they both were killers.

He still thought about Ross, and Frank and his mom (and Nicole) a lot, despite Declan apparently thinking the way to improve Bobby's life was by getting rid of those he cared about. And Eames – Alex – he thought desperately, was the only person he had left, and without who he had no reason to live at all…he couldn't even force his mind to analyze that part of the dream. He knew what it meant all too well.

That moment he was distracted by a beep of his phone – he picked it up to find a message from Alex.

"Sorry if this wakes you but I couldn't sleep – my brother-in-law's snoring couldn't be masked by an entire circus. Been having a nice time catching up with my sister and nephew – dad's being a pain in the ass of course ;). Hope nothing too exciting is going on there without me. See you in a couple days."

Bobby's heart stopped racing and his breathing slowed as he read her words. Exhaling, he hit the reply button and wrote:

"You didn't wake me. Tell everyone there hi from me. Hannah's not the most entertaining company."

As he typed the last part, one of Captain Ross' dryly sarcastic remarks echoed through his mind causing his heart to squeeze and his eyes to sting. He clicked "send", and set his phone back down on the nightstand, praying sleep would come soon.

Captain Hannah called in the morning to tell Bobby to take the day, which made him feel oddly restless and anxious. He wasn't quite sure what to do with himself – he had to admit Dr. Gyson did have a point when she said Bobby didn't know how to exist outside of his job, but he figured this was as good a time as any to learn.

He decided to give Logan a call. They hadn't seen each other since Ross' funeral* and Bobby was curious how he was doing. The phone only rang once before a familiar voice picked up.

"Logan."

"Hey Logan? It's Goren…"

"Goren? He-hey!" Logan's laugh echoed through the other end of the line. "Long time, no talk."

"I was wondering if you were in town, and wanted to grab a bite, or a drink or something."

"Sure thing, what have I got to do?"

Bobby laughed.

"Alright. One o'clock good?"

"Perfect."

"You got a location suggestion?"

"Is that old diner we all used to go out to after work still open? I remember they made a mean cappuccino, plus they had a wet bar."

Bobby heard Mike chuckle.

"Uh, I think so," he replied.

"Great. So I'll see you there and then."

"See you soon." Bobby closed his phone and grabbed his keys.

The diner was crowded but Bobby immediately recognized the head of salt-and-pepper hair sitting in the corner booth and sipping on a cappuccino. He clapped him on the shoulder.

"Mike."

"Hey Bobby." Logan looked up. "Have a seat," he said, gesturing to the other side of the booth. "It's been awhile."

"Yeah, well," Bobby answered with a chuckle, "I'm sure we've both been busy."

"Busy, hey," Mike gestured around himself. "I'm doing security now, every day is like a vacation – except for the assholes. And what about you? Heard you got chucked out, what was that about?"

"Yeah, well, I did but I'm back now." Bobby almost mentioned how part of him getting reinstated had been required shrink sessions – he knew Mike would appreciate the struggle – but somehow it just didn't feel right.

"How're you getting along with the new captain?" Mike had a twinkle in his eye.

"Oh you know…" Bobby trailed. "He's no Deakins…or Ross." They looked at each other for a brief moment.

"Yeah, well, nobody could be." Mike shook his head as he stared down at the menu.

Bobby examined his hands, feeling slightly uncomfortable, as he always seemed to when Ross was mentioned.

"Well how about you?" Bobby broke the silence. "How's life treating you?"

Mike closed the menu, looked up and shrugged.

"Can't complain. Decent hours, decent pay, decent girlfriend…" he cackled and punched Bobby lightly in the shoulder. "How 'bout you? Any girls in the picture?"

Bobby laughed nervously.

"Me? Nah…the last few years have been pretty, well, not exactly conducive to dating. You know, one thing after another, just…" Bobby trailed off.

"Ah, you'll find someone. How's Eames doing by the way?"

Bobby felt color rise to his cheeks, though he wasn't sure why. When he spoke his voice shook a bit.

"Oh, good, I think. She's spending some time with family."

"You know, I always thought she had a thing for you." Mike was smirking.

"Wha – what?" Bobby said a little too quickly.

"She must've – all that crap you put her through and she never left you."

"Yeah, well she's a good partner. Loyal." Bobby was starting to wonder whether he couldn't have any contact with the outside world without someone bringing up his and Alex's relationship.

"If you say so…" Mike flashed him a knowing grin.

Before Bobby had fully worked out what had just happened and how to respond, a waitress set a latte in front of Mike, who was now pointing her to the sandwich he wanted.

"And for you?" the waitress turned to Bobby.

"Uh, same," Bobby said, despite the fact that he didn't even know what he was ordering. He was feeling flustered as she left, hoping Mike was done with the subject of Eames.

For a moment they were both quiet, then Mike leaned in.

"You're telling me you never thought about…you know? Really?"

"What are you talking about?" Bobby asked, frowning.

"With Eames! I know you're not blind."

Bobby just stared at Mike. He was feeling way too many things at once that it was hard to figure out which emotion to express.

"Come on," Mike continued, "you were right there with her, all those years…"

"I…we're just friends. Partners, I mean. We've been through a lot together." Why did he feel like he was having déjà vu of his counseling session?

"I know you can't act on it since you're partners, but you can't really mean it has never even crossed your mind…" Bobby stared at Mike.

"No, it hasn't."

Mike shrugged.

"Well, I tell ya, you must be stronger than I am. If we hadn't worked together…Barek, or even Wheeler…you never know."

The conversation was going further and further down a path Bobby had no interest in following. He breathed a sigh of relief when their sandwiches finally arrived and the conversation shifted to sports and swapping old case stories.

Bobby couldn't seem to shake the weird feeling from that morning. He felt it on the subway ride home, as he walked into his apartment, and as he ran the usual errands. He found himself wondering if it was completely abnormal that he had never been attracted to Eames in that way. That he'd never even considered it, when it seemed everyone else had and assumed he would have too. He wondered where Eames stood in all of this – if it was so strange for him to not have ever looked at her romantically, does that mean she'd looked at him that way?

He suddenly felt very self-conscious. He wondered whether Alex had gotten the call from Dr. Gyson yet, and whether she'd already said no. The thought made his chest tighten. What was wrong with him? Was he actually hoping she'd say yes? That she'd talk to his shrink about him, and that she would tell him what Alex said, like they were in junior high? It was ridiculous, he thought to himself. Ridiculous.

*I realize Logan was not shown to be at Ross' funeral, but it seems reasonable that he would have come to pay his condolences.