The First to Go
It was then that I first saw him. His bright red eyes seemed to look into my very soul, as I looked at him for the first time.
I'd known him for about a year now, yet here I was for the first time seeing him. I was seeing Akashi for who he really was. I tilted my head slightly as if I was really focused on our shogi game, but I was really observing him. I wanted to know him. I wanted closer.
Now that I think about it, I guess this was bound to happen. I was sending a lot of time with him, I should have expected an outcome as unfortunate as this.
I should have expected this.
But I didn't and now, I've fallen.
I've fallen.
For him
"Shintarou are you paying attention," I jumped at the sound of his voice. Damn heat beat, why couldn't it stop racing at the thought of him?
"Of course," I scoffed, I can't let him know. I have to pretend I don't like him. It's for the best if you think about it. If you really think about, because he couldn't love me, I can't be loved.
"What's wrong Shintarou, do you have a problem," Akashi tilted his head ever so slightly a smile creeping on his smooth face.
I took a huge breath before saying, "no I'm fine," I looked the window, watching the dark rainy day.
"Don't lie to me Shintarou," Akashi's voice was somewhat of a broken whisper, as if I possibly hurt him, "just don't," there was more of a threat in that one.
"Akashi I-"I'll never know what I would have said, or done.
But my moment was lost, my chance was gone. I don't think I'll ever get it back either.
The door burst open as Kise ran in eyes soaked with tears, "Kur- Kuro- Kuroko-cchi," he sobbed loudly, "someone ca-"
"Spit it out," Akashi hissed, "What happened to Tetsuya," He said, urgency in his voice, eyes full of something that hadn't been there before.
"He was crossing the street, when," Kise stopped, "they called an ambulance, but they wouldn't let me go with him." Kise looked very, very broken. Just broken. I wish that I had been there to save Kuroko Tetsuya. I wish I had saved him, and I don't know why.
Maybe that was my problem these people had a stronger hold on me than I ever could have imagined, the two biggest were Kuroko and Akashi, both held my attention more than the others. But it didn't matter anymore, I know, that I can't tell them. I can't tell them anything.
So for now, just for now, I think I'll keep this little secret to myself.