KPOV
"Karen?" Grace called.
I quickly got up from the rocking chair and walked into the hallway, closing the door behind me. I met her at the end of the hallway and showed her into the study.
"Karen, are you okay?" She asked as I shut the door behind us. "Why did you ask me to bring you-"
"Don't say it!" I interrupted. "You never know when the maids are listening. Just give me the... thing."
She retrieved the white paper bag out her Gucci knock-off purse and handed it to me.
"There, the directions are on the box, but it's pretty simple."
"Honey, I may not know how to work your little gadgets in the office like the fax or the computer, but I've used these things quite a few times."
I went off to the bathroom and did the deed. After I was finished I came back out and grabbed the sand timer out of the desk. Ten minutes.
"So, is there something you want to talk to me about?" Grace asked, sitting on the futon. I was surprised at her tone. I had expected her to be smiling in that same way she had when she found out that I had done an adult movie. But, her face was sincere, almost...what was the word? It was an emotion... concerned.
"It was a couple of weeks ago..." I began, sitting down next to her. "I was drunk, he was young and attractive. We went back to his place and I woke up the next morning, saw him next to me and realized what had happened. I did the walk of shame back home."
"Well, if this turns out positive, are you going to tell him?"
"Honey, I hardly remember what he looks like, let alone his name!" I retorted. "Grace, what am I going to do? I don't know if I have what it takes to be a mom. I definitely didn't do very well with Stan's kids."
"Karen, you don't even know if you're pregnant yet." Grace said. "It's probably just a false alarm."
"Maybe..." I said.
Part of me hoped that it was. But, then again, part of me hoped it wasn't. My mind kept wandering back to the Forbidden Room across the hall. Sure, a small part of me wanted to be a mom. But the rest of me was always very quick to remind me of the fact that I probably wouldn't make a very good one. I drank, I did pills, I had the sympathy of a brick. Granted, I had never really had an example of what a good mother was supposed to be. But, on occasion Grace would bring Lila to the office for the afternoon and I saw what a great mom she was to her.
"Karen," Grace said, bringing me out of my thoughts. "Time's up."
"Okay." I said, nervously. Here it was, moment of truth.
I walked over to the desk and picked up the white stick. Grace had gotten one of the really simple ones, so there was no question about the result. Pregnant. As a knee jerk reaction I flung the stick back on the desk in a panic.
"Oh my God." I gasped. I could feel my knees go weak and I caught myself on the desk. "Oh my God!"
Grace caught me and walked me back over to the futon and I was already in hysterics. I couldn't believe that this was happening.
"Grace, I don't know if I can do this!" I said.
"Do you want me to take you to the women's clinic?"
"Oh no, honey!" I said quickly. "I could never do that. But, I just don't know if I'm ready to be a mother. I keep thinking about how I see you with Lila and I don't know if I would be as good."
"Ok, Karen I'm going to be honest with you." She said. "I never thought that I would say this, but, something tells me that you will make a terrific mother."
"Why would you think that? Have you met me?"
"I know, I was shocked, too." She smiled. "But, do you remember the other day when I brought Lila in for a few hours?"
"Yeah."
"Well, I remember going to the back for a few minutes to look through some patterns and I asked you to keep an eye on her. And when I came back, what were you two doing?"
"We... were sitting at my desk?"
"Yes. And Lila was sitting on your desk while you painted her fingernails for her. You two were laughing about something-"
"It was your skirt." I admitted.
"Anyway," She rolled her eyes. "In that moment when I saw your smile as you were talking with Lila, I had a strange notion that maybe, just maybe you might have some sort of maternal instinct in you."
"Oh, honey." I smiled, touching her hand. "Come here, I wanna show you something."
"Karen, I've seen your boobs before."
"Not that, honey!" I laughed. I led her across the hall and put my hand on the Forbidden Doorknob. "A few years ago I had a little scare and before I realized that it was a false alarm, I came up with this."
I opened the door and led her in. "I guess it's a good thing I never got around to turning it into liquor storage."
She didn't say anything, just kind of stood still and looked around. "This is amazing. Karen, you're going to be a wonderful mother. If you ever need anything, I'm here for you. okay?"
"Thanks, Gracie." I said. She started to lean in for a hug. "Bup, bup bup, my child will be the only person receiving hugs from me."