Disclaimer: As much as I'd like to...I don't.

A/N: Hey again! Firstly, thanks to those who reviewed - very kind of you :D Secondly...here's the second chapter.

Hitomi clicked her pen several times before placing it behind her ear.

Sighing, she read the words on the page over and over until she finally came to the conclusion that, alas, she was no novelist.

The whole thing, it just didn't sound...right. The words lacked something she couldn't quite put her finger on: Passion? Emotion? No…perhaps it was a grammatical thing…

"Why can't I just be wrong…?"

Well, they had told her to write down her thoughts…so here she was, in her room, at her desk, attempting to describe her feelings. Unfortunately, it was not going quite as well as she had hoped. She had originally thought it would be a fairly simple task: think, write, think, write – but no. To her immense displeasure, Hitomi found it impossible to describe anything, let alone unbelievable and ridiculously complicated memories that nobody wanted to actually read about in the first place.

She just couldn't help but feel like the whole page was a little too melodramatic.

Yes, she was writing what she really felt, describing the most painful and raw emotions that plagued her daily – but to them, to the people who were trying to "help" her, this would just be another over imaginative story that some traumatised girl had somehow created from a dream.

"Perhaps for him, it was a dream. Perhaps he prefers to remember it that way. Perhaps he simply chooses not to remember it at all.

Van…"

She sighed again as she leant back in her chair. Glancing at the clock above her desk, she was somewhat disappointed to note that after a full hour of attempting to write down any scrap of emotion, she had yet to come up with something suitable to show them tomorrow.

Them…those people she went to twice a week. The ones who told her she must be out of her mind, the ones who challenged everything she said with, "but why?", only to scribble something she would never see on a small piece of lined paper. She humoured them, in a way, by continuing to reflect upon her time in Gaea. She watched, week after week, month after month, year after year as they gradually became more and more certain she was insane. Oh yes, she knew what they were thinking.

This girl that claimed to have been abducted, that claimed to have set foot upon some invisible planet, had told the same story relentlessly in every session. She never denied any of it, never agreed to listen to any other plausible explanation for her "visions". She was now simply a waste of time, a lost cause. Poor child, to be demented at such an early age.

Hitomi didn't care though. She let them think what they want. Screw them. Screw her parents for forcing her to attend those stupid sessions. At twenty years old, surely she was old enough to start making her own decisions. Couldn't they just leave her alone?

Couldn't anyone just let her be alone?

"That day five years ago, we made a promise…"

She almost wanted to laugh at the irony. After swearing that she'd never be alone, that she'd never want to be alone…now it was her only wish.

And it was his fault.

"Sometimes I smile when I think of him. I wonder how he is, whether he even remembers me."

She hadn't heard from him since the day she had left Gaea. When he didn't try to make contact for the first few months, she had simply thought he was too pre occupied with re-building Fanelia to talk to her, or maybe he just wanted to wait a while…she could understand that. But after a year of waiting, that gnawing doubt had begun to creep under her skin. That doubt which had destroyed Fanelia, killed countless people…that had hurt so many more…

It had returned. And she could do nothing about it.

So another year passed, and another, and another, and all she could do was wait. When she thought of him, he never answered. If she dreamt of him, it was only ever a dream. And that was what made it worse – when she dreamed. Things that always used to be so wonderful to her, both dreaming and Gaea alike, had turned into some sickening reminder of her loss. When she dreamed, it was like her own thoughts seemed to be mocking her, mocking her sanity as so many others did.

"I cannot bear it any longer; this emptiness that I feel…it's…it's killing me. I am sure of it."

How many times had she just told herself to forget about him?

To forget about everything…

Surely that would solve all this...

"But I know I can never forget.

How does one forget what love is?"

Well, Van had forgotten.

He had managed to do what she longed to, what she had to do but simply could not.

But how?

Perhaps her love was unrequited to begin with…

Yes, that must be it.

What other explanation was there?

"…now all that's left is the doubt that eats away at me when they tell me I'm wrong."

Hitomi swallowed. Blinking back the familiar tears which threatened to fall, she looked to her open window, to the moon that hung above everything and everyone. So many nights she had gazed up at the bright, suspended orb and had almost been comforted by the fact that maybe…just maybe, Van could see it too.

"I wish…

No. I can't wish. Not anymore."

But then in the morning, she'd feel ridiculous. She'd feel like a fool for even thinking such a thing.

God, why did she even try anymore?! Why was she stupid enough to think he would come for her?!

Nobody believed her, nobody even listened.

She hated them. She hated all of them.

She just couldn't do this anymore.

Maybe…maybe it was finally time for it to end.

For everything to end...

Yes.

She could do it, she was sure. She had enough medication, thanks to them.

What more could she do? If Van really was alive, if Gaea really did exist, wouldn't she be certain by now?

Wouldn't she just... know?

Now the tears did fall. And she didn't even try to stop them.

Slowly, resolve unfaltering, she reached for the pills she kept in the bottom draw of her desk. Her hands were shaking, her breath coming fast… but she didn't stop. She picked up the small bottle and held it in front of her.

So this was what she had become.

Insane, suicidal…desperate.

Putting the little jar on her desk, she unscrewed the lid hastily as she closed her eyes and took a long, drawn out breath. She'd made the decision so quickly she could barely recall why...but...

She was doing this. She was really doing it. She had to.

There was no Gaea, there was no Van…

There was no hope.

Yes, that's it. Keep telling yourself. You must.

But perhaps…before she prepared to leave this world, this life, she would try to reach him. One last time. Just to prove to herself that she was right, that she was finally doing something right.

So this one final time, without doubt, without fear…Hitomi would call out to him.

"Van…" She whispered into the night as achingly clear images of him flowed in front of her eyes. For the last time, she closed them, and took in everything about him that she could remember: that gorgeous tanned skin, the wild ebony hair that she had always longed to run her fingers through, the darkly handsome face she had always longed to touch…his beautiful, intense brown eyes.

And his wings.

Those pure, flawless, stunning white wings.

And then she found she couldn't bare it anymore.

She opened her eyes again, tears flowing freely now, and snatched up the pills in front of her. Breathing heavily, not knowing how painful it would be or how long it would take, she took the first one between her fingers.

Looking up at the moon, she gave a small, sad smile before mouthing one last word to him.

"Goodbye."

"HITOMI!"

She barely heard the glass shatter as it hit the hard, wooden floor.

Well, that's the second chapter...what do you think? I do actually have a storyline for this thing, so if you want me to continue, I definitely will. I can't help but feel like the ending to this chapter is...well - shite (excuse my French). So I might edit it at some point.

Anyway

Please review :D