Alright, so I don't want you guys biting my head off for this late chapter. My wonderful beta, DragonGirl323, needed the time to be with her husband, who had been deployed for a while, and I gave her what she needed. Now, she has been gracious enough to send me the edited version and, like I said, it's better than the first version. So please read and review this chapter and let me know what you thought.

Disclaimer = I don't own Vampire Academy.

Chapter 1

Harsh Words

Rose's Point of View

Would my luck ever change?

Today had seemed like a good day so far. There was a small amount left of snow and ice left on the ground, indicating that winter would soon pass into spring. There was simply one more day before classes would end before the field experience—six weeks of us novices working to become guardians and prove our worth before we graduated in late June—and everyone was incredibly excited, even me. Life had gone back to normal after the Christmas chaos…

Well, that's what I thought.

My name's Rosemarie Hathaway, Rose for short. I'm a dhampir, half human-half Moroi, and I've dedicated my life to protect Moroi, or better yet, mortal vampires. Why do I call them mortal vampires? Because Moroi are born, can grow, and die at an old age, just like humans and dhampirs. They specialize in one of the four elements: fire, earth, air, or water. But there are some who don't specialize in one of the four, but in a different type of element: spirit, magic that sucks energy from the Moroi's own life force every time they use their powers. As I've said, these Moroi are mortal. But there are some Moroi who want—or, in retrospect, don't want—to become immortal. In doing so, they become a different kind of vampire called Strigoi.

Strigoi live for eternity, and there are two ways to become Strigoi. Way number one, a Moroi willingly drains a human of their blood and that triggers the transformation. Way number two, a Strigoi could drink from a human and then make a Moroi drink from said Strigoi. The second way is unwilling, but the first is willing. It was either you wanted to become Strigoi and be immortal, or you didn't and were forced to.

Either way, not very pleasant. Your soul changes and becomes animalistic. You're unable to even think straight. You turn into a beast of the night, literally.

We guardians—or novices training to become guardians—protect the Moroi from Strigoi. We dedicate our lives to keep the Moroi from turning Strigoi or being killed, ending the Moroi race and eventually the dhampir race as well. You see, dhampirs are made from Moroi men hooking up with dhampir women who wanted to raise children instead of fighting Strigoi. You'd think we would be three quarters Moroi, but you're wrong. We're perfectly half and half. But that's another story that I don't want to get into right now. Much too sensual for my taste to imagine others 'doing it'.

Anyway, you have the general idea of the kind of people I'm surrounded by.

But there's one special Moroi I'd like to talk about. My best friend, Vasilisa Dragomir. She likes to go by Lissa. She's the last of the Dragomir royal line. And she's the Moroi that I'm sworn to protect, even though I haven't graduated yet. But there's no doubt that the other guardians will assign me to her. You see, our case is kind of special. We have a bond. Not just in friendship, but a bond that connects our spirits together. It might sound cheesy, but it's true. A few years ago, Lissa, her parents, her brother and I were in a car accident. Unfortunately, her parents and brother died in the accident and apparently, so did I. But Lissa healed me using spirit and a bond was created between the two of us. It allows me to feel what she feels and sometimes enter her mind and see through her eyes. But it's not a two way bond. She can't feel me or get in my head like I can, which makes me the best guardian for her.

At least that's what I thought until today…

Lissa and I were in her room. She was getting ready for her date with her boyfriend, Christian Ozera, and needed my help. Now that she was getting intense with him, we hardly spent any time together to just talk and hang out. Even now, as we stayed in her room, there seemed to be an awkward silence hanging in the air around us.

"You should wear your hair up," I said as she was brushing her magnificent platinum blond hair. Through the bond, Lissa seemed happy. Christian made that feeling shine through her. It also shone through me because of the bond. "Christian will like that."

Lissa laughed and began pulling her hair up in a ponytail. "He'll like anything as long as we're together," she said cheerfully. She was lucky to have a guy who wanted her and loved her the way he did.

I did… sort of. We had our problems, but we knew how one another felt. But we couldn't be together. Dimitri is a guardian at St. Vladimir's Academy and is seven years older than I am. That was one of the problems. The second problem was that he was also assigned to be Lissa's guardian when we both graduated. If we were together, he'd want to protect me more than her. That couldn't happen. They come first. It was a guardian saying that Moroi lives came before anything else, even before love. So we put our feelings aside and decided to protect Lissa with everything we had, keeping our love for one another secret. It was a struggle, but we managed to do it so far. I hated keeping things from Lissa. She was my best friend and we could tell each other anything. But this, I couldn't tell her. It would just add too much stress to her life and that would unravel things that we'd worked so hard to keep hidden in her.

"He's kind of changed since last month…" A darkness seemed to make its way through her when mentioning what happened in Spokane.

A Strigoi attack happened last month and Christian, a Moroi named Mia, two novices named Eddie and Mason, and myself had been kidnapped by them. They'd nearly starved all of us and drained Eddie of blood a few times each day we'd been captured. By the end, he'd fallen unconscious. We'd figured out an escape plan, but the two Strigoi who'd captured us figured out our plan, and I barely managed to hold them off. They would have tortured me if Mason hadn't foolishly come back and tried to save me, then…he ended up being murdered. I'd killed both Strigoi in an explosion of rage, but Mason was still dead. That event had changed all of us mentally, even me.

But the darkness that I could feel seeping into Lissa right then worried me. It wasn't natural for her to feel that way. It was almost as if she wanted to say something and get all of that darkness out, but didn't want to do it in front of me.

"What's up, Lissa?" I asked, hoping to relieve some of the darkness that surrounded her.

She put her makeup down on the counter and sighed. "I don't know…" Lissa hesitated, considering whether to tell me or not. If she didn't, I could always go into her mind and see through the bond, even though I knew she hated it when that would happen.

"Come on, you can tell me," I tried again, seeing what would happen if she did tell me. I hoped she wouldn't make me peak. It wasn't right of me, but sometimes, it simply happened like that. Her emotions at times would become so strong that I would be sucked inside of her unintentionally. But this time, it would be intentional. And that worried me.

Let's hope she caves…

She stood up, packing her makeup in a bag and began walking toward the bed where I was sitting. "Never mind. It's nothing," Lissa said, avoiding my gaze. Sighing internally, I opened my mind up to hers and felt for her emotions at the moment. And what I felt made me freeze in horror.

Culpability.

"You blame me for Mason's death." My voice broke when I said it out loud, the words leaving a bad taste in my mouth. My best friend blamed me for his death. It was bad enough that I blamed myself, but to have her blame me as well, it was shocking and hurtful.

Lissa stopped dead in her tracks and turned to face me, clearly outraged. "That's an invasion of my privacy!" she exclaimed, making me stand up and turn to face her. Lissa obviously felt hurt and scandalized, but she should have told me what she felt in the beginning. My feeling of betrayal kept enlarging with every second passing as I stared into her jade coloured eyes.

"You blame me for Mason's death?" I repeated, only this time phrasing it as a question. "How could you? Don't you think I blame myself enough as it is for what happened?"

"I know you do! Which is why you shouldn't have peaked into my feelings!"

"I thought you of all people wouldn't blame me for what happened to Mason."

"Can you really blame me, Rose?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, my anger surging through me now. My best friend, the person I thought would be by my side in these hard times, was against me. How could she?

"Well, think about it, Rose. Mason really liked you and you basically toyed with him. You told me that if you hadn't told him where those Strigoi were, he'd be alive right now. And I'm sorry, but I agree with you," Lissa explained, looking me in the eyes the entire time. Through the bond, I could feel that she felt sad, angered, flustered, the need to blame someone…all negative emotions.

All directed to me.

"I can't believe this…" I said, feeling absolutely betrayed. Turning around quickly, I began pacing, trying to control the anger that threatened to explode from inside of me. "You think I was toying with Mason…"

"Well, you were." This made me stop and turn around to face her. That darkness seemed to expand within her. Maybe it was clouding her emotions at the moment, but…who knows how long she felt this way.

"Excuse me?"

"Mason liked you for so long, and you just used him at the ski lodge either to make Adrian jealous or for your own personal gain."

The mention of Adrian Ivashkov turned my blood cold, especially in this conversation. He was another spirit user we'd met at the ski lodge for Christmas break and he had always tried to get close to me and flirt, even while being drunk, which he was every minute of every day. But to think that Lissa would bring him into this was unbelievable. She didn't know that the reason I couldn't love Mason was because of Dimitri.

"Face it, Rose, none of that would have happened if you'd actually tried to like Mason back," Lissa said, nearly cutting my heart in half.

"You don't know what happened, Lissa."

"That's because you won't tell me anything! We're best friends and you can't even begin to speculate what actually happened? Imagine if Mason had been me. You would have let me be murdered like Mason was? How can I trust that you'll be able to protect me later on? Are you gonna get me killed in the next year? Maybe in the next month, or tomorrow even? How do I know?" Lissa exclaimed, causing me more pain than anything I'd experienced in the past.

I was speechless. How could she even think that? Had that event in Spokane really destroyed her trust in me completely? That shroud of darkness lingered around her mind, but it seemed to get smaller. Probably due to the fact that she took her anger out on me.

"That's not fair, Lissa. You know that you always come first, no matter what."

"I don't know that, actually. What I do know is that Dimitri wouldn't have let Mason die like that. He wouldn't let me die like that."

That pushed me off the proverbial cliff and killed me inside. My face remained emotionless as my free hand went to the chotki Lissa had given me for Christmas and unlatched it from my wrist. Handing it to her, she took it and looked at it before resting her eyes once again onto me. "Then here. Give it to Dimitri. Obviously, I'm not fit to guard anyone, much less you." And with that, I walked out of her room, taking a long walk that would hopefully drown my new sorrows and take my mind off of everything that just happened.

Lissa's Point of View

I couldn't help what I said to Rose.

Part of my mind did believe that she was responsible for Mason's death, but that was a very small part of me. How did that small part take over like that? She hadn't deserved to hear that. With all my heart, I knew that what was said was false. She could protect me better than anyone in this entire world, not just because of the bond, but because she knew me as an individual. But that didn't excuse the fact that she had entered my mind without my permission, even though it happened whenever my emotions were much too strong and would force her to enter. But yet, she still deliberately entered just to know what that tiny part of me thought about her, an angry part of me that was unfamiliar to her and myself. I didn't want to tell her what I had just said for this reason. It was hurtful and false. To even imagine Rose thinking that she wasn't good enough to protect me was…unimaginable.

But…if Rose hadn't gone in my mind, then this conversation wouldn't have happened and I wouldn't be clutching the chotki I'd given to only her at Christmas. It was a family heirloom that was meant for my soul guardian, for Rose since she was going to be my guardian in a few short months.

Now, my heart was wondering if she'd even talk to me ever again.

Sighing, my feet robotically went to the lobby to find Christian sitting on the couch in front of the TV, waiting for me. When seeing me, his face lit up and joy filled his features like they always did when we were together. My heart skipped a beat when seeing him, but my mind was still replaying what happened with Rose. I was sure my expression illustrated how upset I was now. He saw it immediately and rushed over to me worriedly.

"I'm guessing the date's cancelled?" he asked, which was just as good as an 'are you all right?' It fit me just fine at the moment, seeing as my mind just kept replaying what had been said in my room and nothing else.

"I'm sorry. I'm just not feeling very well right now," I said, hoping that he would understand. And yet, he nodded and wrapped his arms around me, bringing me closer to him.

"Does it have anything to do with Rose's silent leaving act?" he asked, making my attention turn fully to him. Christian saw my look and knew his question was answered. "Liss, it's none of my business. You can tell me when you're ready." He kissed the top of my head and looked me in the eyes. "I'll leave you to your thoughts for now. If you're ready to talk, you can come and see me. I'll see you soon?" Nodding, he smiled slightly and kissed me passionately in parting, then walked out of the room.

I, on the other hand, went back to my own room and laid on my bed, trying to extinguish the lingering anger I still felt toward Rose for entering my mind just now, while my regret continued to grow.

I'd talk to her tomorrow. Hopefully, everything would work out…

Alright, so what did you think? Please let me know in some reviews, please.

Mortal-paralight

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