Chapter 2

Pepper was already asleep by the time Tony got home that night from some "mandatory" dinner and he was exhausted to say the least. He opened the door, untying his tie in the process and threw it somewhere on the floor. He immediately did the same for pretty much everything else he was wearing. As soon as he was ready to pass out on the bed he laid his eyes on the woman he had fallen in love with.

She looked like an angel when she was asleep and he couldn't help but smile, gently stroking the side of her face. She was lying on her stomach, her hand stretched out over the side of the bed. He smirked to himself and was about to move her hand back when he noticed that she was holding something; a single piece of paper in her fist. His curiosity took over and reached down to slip it out of her fingers.

As soon as he tried to take it, he realized his mistake – she was holding on to it tightly. Immediately, her eyes opened and as if by instinct, she slipped her hand under her pillow, taking the sheet of paper with her. She looked up at Tony groggily. "When did you get back?"

"Just right now," Tony answered, his lip twisting deviously. "What's this?" he asked, trying to look under her pillow.

Pepper immediately jumped to the defensive, rolling her eyes as if trying to explain a simple topic to a third grader. "Nothing."

"Liar!" Tony accused playfully, trying to lift the pillow up. Pepper rolled aside quickly leaving Tony alone with the pillow.

"I want to see it!"

"No!" Pepper laughed, mostly at Tony's immaturity as he jumped after her, trying to wrestle the thing out of her grasp. She squealed and immediately let go when Tony tickled her stomach, an area he had learned was especially sensitive over the last few months. She shrieked and almost kicked Tony's face but not before he quickly grabbed it out of her hand and rolled out of the bed.

"Tony!" Pepper yelled, more frustrated and angry than anything else. Tony ignored her, unfolded it and immediately the smile on his face melted away as he read it and realized what it was.

Pepper,

I chose to write your letter last. Writing it would have been accepting the end, and I wasn't ready to do that. For weeks I've tried to plan out what I wanted to tell you, but I couldn't make myself do it and I was scared to say goodbye. I didn't want to think about it. But I think I'm ready now.

I want to thank you, Pepper…

It was his letter, the one he had written three months ago when the palladium had been killing him, and he had spent his supposed last week arranging for his possible death. He found himself completely engrossed in the words in his own handwriting. A mix of surprise and disbelief clouded his eyes and for a moment, his tongue was glued to the roof of his mouth leaving him completely speechless. She still had it. She had kept it.

Why would she keep it?

By the time he looked up, Pepper had covered herself with the sheets and was facing away from him, feeling hopelessly embarrassed among other things. She was sure her face nearly matched the color of her hair and she clutched her pillow as if it was a protector.

She heard Tony climb into bed beside her silently and immediately, she closed her eyes tightly. She wasn't even sure what to feel. Ashamed? Childish? Oh, who cares…what she really wanted to know was what he was thinking…

"Hey," Tony said quietly, nudging her a bit. When she didn't answer, he dangled the letter in front of her and she immediately grabbed it and stuffed it under her pillow, still refusing to look at him.

"You kept it," he stated plainly. "After all this time?" Pepper shifted a little, as if about to say something but at the last second changed her mind and kept quiet.

"Hey, come on," Tony goaded, tugging her shoulder gently in order to get some response. "Why did you keep it?"

"Well, what did you expect me to do with it, throw it away?" Pepper defended.

Good point. "No…but I didn't expect to see you holding on to it in the middle of the night either." Okay, so that came out wrong. It wasn't that he was angry. Was he? No, he wasn't…he was definitely surprised, though.

Finally, Pepper rolled over to face him, but her eyes remained fixed on the sheets. "I keep it…so that I know how close I was to losing you," she answered honestly, barely above a whisper. "So that I don't take you for granted."

"Wait, hold up," Tony said not liking what he was hearing. "Pepper, look at me…look at me," he pleaded, holding up her chin. "You could never, ever, take me for granted. In fact, I'm the one who should be more careful…I've taken you for granted for years, even before we started dating you've always taken care of me and I've only given you hell."

"That's not true-"

"It is, and you know it," he interrupted. "I'm always putting you through so much but you're always there for me, you always have been…I love you so much." He gently pushed aside a stray strand of hair. "You know that, right?"

Pepper nodded once, sighing and Tony did the same. "I…I don't want you to keep it if you're worried that something might happen to me…?" Pepper's continuing silence was answer enough. "Nothing's going to happen to me, Pepper. The new arc reactor is working just fine; I've been running tests on it every week-"

That caught her attention. Her head perked up slightly. "Really?"

"What?" Tony exclaimed, raising an eyebrow suspiciously.

Pepper smiled into her pillow. "Nothing. It's just…well, the responsibility aspect is new."

"What can I say, you're rubbing off on me…but if you want I can always ease up on the responsibility."

"No, no, I like the responsibility," she quickly added, sitting up slightly and leaning on her elbow. "Don't let me change your mind. By all means, please continue."

Tony laughed. "Well, if you're completely sure…"

"Wait…you aren't…going to tell me to get rid of the letter?" Pepper asked hesitantly.

"No, I'm not," he decided, sighing, rubbing his eyes. "I mean, I guess I don't mind if you keep it, but I don't want you to be too…attached to it either."

"Why?" she asked. It was a valid question even if she did understand why he didn't like it, but she still wanted to know and hear the answer from him.

"Because I don't want you to hold on to those memories," he finally admitted. "I hated that week and I don't want anything to remind me, or you of what happened. I...I caused you so much pain-"

"It wasn't your fault."

"I should've told you what was happening, but I didn't. And I hated how you found out about the palladium, and that you had to give me the shot yourself-" He drew his hand over his face as if to wipe away the memories. "I hate that I hurt you like that."

"Tony, you were only trying to protect me," she tried to assure him. "I would have done the same thing." She had thought about it multiple times in the last few months. When she had realized Tony was dying, she had been angry but she had learned to understand with him, especially when she placed herself in his shoes. If it had been her, she wouldn't have found it in her to admit the truth. She'd stall, she'd get her life in order – everything he had done.

Still, that week haunted Tony even though the silver lining was evident and lying in bed with him. "What's important is that I'm here and not dying. And whatever is in that letter I can always tell you. You don't need to go back and read it because you're scared I'm going to disappear or that I'll never tell you that I love you in person, okay?"

Pepper pretended to think about it. But in answer, she scooted closer to him, allowing Tony to wrap his arms around her protectively. Tony smirked, arrogant jackass that he was. "Took you long enough," he joked. "Besides you can't be so grumpy."

"Why not?" Pepper asked, rolling her eyes.

"Because it's the day before your birthday!" he exclaimed, hardly believing his own ears. "Did you really forget? No wonder you've been cranky."

"I haven't been cranky!" she denied. "And I didn't forget that tomorrow's my birthday, either. I…actually thought you forgot."

"Me! But…what about the whole 'responsible' thing?"

"Tony, you haven't remembered my birthday once in ten years."

"We weren't dating. Come on, give me some credit."

"I hate my birthday."

Tony took a mental double-take. "No wonder you've been cranky."

"I haven't been cranky!" Pepper squealed again, even though her tone proved otherwise.

"Wait…seriously?" he backed up a little to look at her, trying to read her expression. "What's wrong with June the twenty-fourth?"

"It's the day you left to go to Afghanistan," she confessed. "Last year."

Tony thought about it and realized that what she said was true. It hadn't even crossed his mind once. "And so that's the reason you hate your birthday?"

"Wouldn't you? If your birthday was the day your boss and boyfriend went missing on the other side of the planet for three months?" she asked bitterly. Just remembering those three months threatened to bring tears to her eyes.

"Hey!" Tony warned gently. "No crying before your birthday."

"I hated those months."

"I'm sorry…"

"That's all I could think of all week…those months…" she told him. "Rhodey had wanted to go look for you and they let him for about two weeks. Then they called off the search…they said that any chance of survival had disappeared by then."

"You don't need to tell me-"

"I want to…I need to," she argued, inhaling deeply and closing her eyes. She buried her face in his chest, listening to the low hum of the reactor. "Rhodey argued for over a week, trying to start another search but they wouldn't let him…but they couldn't legally declare you dead either; not for another six months. It was so ridiculous and I just got so angry-" she choked on her words, the back of her throat feeling tight.

Tony said nothing as he embraced her, kissing the top of her forehead. He gave her time to calm down a little, waiting for her heart to stop racing. "Tomorrow," he told her, "Is going to be great. And it's going to take the place of what happened last year… when you think of your birthday, you'll think of tomorrow, not last year." He kissed her forehead again. "I promise."

She smiled into his chest weakly. "No pressure, right?"

"I think I can handle the challenge. Aren't you going to ask me what I got you?"

Pepper looked up longingly. "What did you get me?"

"I can't tell you; that would be cheating!"

She laughed, rolling her eyes. "Right, why didn't I think of that?"

"I do have something tucked under my sleeve that I can give you tonight." He said suggestively before fastening his lips onto hers. "Figuratively," he murmured as Pepper wove her hand through his hair. She pulled him closer, pouring herself into him and Tony's fingers slipped under the strap of her tank top, pulling it down slightly.

General Fury is currently on hold.

The sound of JARVIS jolted both of them and Tony groaned, imagining all the different ways he could cause Fury pain. Now? Why now?

Screw him, Tony thought as he growled into Pepper's neck. Still, in the back of his mind, he knew that if he ignored the call, he'd probably wake up with something important missing – like his bank accounts. Last time, Fury had frozen them.

"You know you should probably answer," Pepper said breathing heavily, not to eager of the idea herself though she did remember what had happened the last time Tony had ignored Fury.

"No…" Tony whined.

Sir, I suggest you at least answer…I'd prefer to be online the next time you come home.

"Fine," Tony mumbled. "Put him through."

The next voice Tony and Pepper heard was Fury's through the speakers. "We have a situation, Tony."

"It's almost midnight you asshole," Tony yelled, planting light kisses on Pepper's neck. She shivered slightly, her arms wrapped around his neck to pull him closer.

"I'll send coordinates to your HUD," Fury said instead, ignoring Tony's outburst. "And I expect you down here in one hour. Believe me – you'll want to start leaving now."

General Fury is offline, sir.

"Asshole," Tony repeated, reluctantly withdrawing from their make out session. "Time to go."

Pepper wanted to slap Fury, the demanding bastard.

"I promise I'll be back early enough to see you early tomorrow morning and be the first to wish you happy birthday."

"Fine," Pepper grumbled rolling out of bed after Tony. The two of them made their way down to Tony's garage where Tony quickly changed to get himself ready for the suit. Pepper started up the machines, making sure the coordinates Fury had sent had made it to JARVIS and ultimately, the suit's HUD. After watching Tony fly off like this with absolutely no warning, she had not only learned to adapt but also catch on to the basic "get ready for a mission" preliminaries.

Tony emerged from the back wearing the suit he often wore underneath the Iron Man suit; it had almost become a second skin for him. He stepped onto the mounting pad and allowed his machines to get him fitted.

"Have the coordinates been uploaded?" Tony asked above the whirring of his machines.

"I just sent them in," Pepper replied with a smile.

"Someone's catching on."

"Give me some credit," she joked, watching the pieces of the suit attach themselves to Tony.

"Ready?" Pepper asked just as the last piece was attached, trying to look optimistic before taking a step back.

"No, wait, I deserve a good luck kiss, I might not make it back," Tony pleaded.

She pursed her lips in thought but finally walked up to him until she was mere centimeters from him, her lips dangerously close to his. At the last moment, she smirked, flicking the helmet cover down. "Go get 'em," she said, walking back to give him some space.

Tony rolled her eyes even though she couldn't see and started up the suit, slowly gaining attitude as Pepper watched. "You complete me!" he yelled obnoxiously just before he flew out of the garage entrance, leaving a fire like streak as he left.

And just like that, in only a couple of minutes, he was gone.

She stayed there for a few minutes, alone in Tony's garage. It didn't matter how many times Fury had called for Tony so abruptly in the past, she didn't think she'd ever get completely used to it even if she did adapt. Every time he left, she'd be faced with a gaping void in her soul; a void that could only be filled with worry. What if something happened and he didn't make it back? Then she'd remember the three months without him and the same…emptiness she had felt then.

But Iron Man came with Tony Stark and when she had started dating Tony, she'd also taken on Iron Man. She couldn't help but sigh when she thought about how many people would love to be in her shoes; how many people would love to call themselves "Tony Stark's girlfriend" – and not just because it was him, but because he was Iron Man. And here she was, complaining about his alter ego.

Yet, when she thought about it, she realized she complained because she loved him. Anyone else might love to say they were dating Iron Man, but that was because they didn't worry for him as much as she did.

She folded her hands across her chest, rubbing her arms as she walked back upstairs. Now for the fun part – waiting.

She couldn't sleep, at least not immediately. No matter how tired she was she'd find it impossible to descend into the blissful state of unconsciousness right after Tony had left. So instead, she bored herself. Laundry, dirty dishes, re-runs of Friends, anything that could, paradoxically, distract her enough to sleep.

5:30 AM

Tony found Pepper in her usual spot – fast asleep on the couch, a blanket draped over her legs. It was always the same – if he left in the middle of the night, he'd find her here and it only made him feel terrible. He sighed, carefully scooping her up in his arms causing the blanket to fall to the floor. As if by instinct, Pepper's arms found their way around his back, holding herself closer to him. Tony winced when her hand touched a particularly painful soon-to-be bruise but he kept quiet for her sake.

As soon as he reached the bedroom he carefully placed her on the bed, draping the covers over her. Pepper moaned groggily, her eyes opening slightly. "Shh," Tony hushed. "It's just me...go to sleep."

She mumbled something unintelligible but her eyes closed again. Tony laughed to himself; she wouldn't even remember any of this tomorrow morning.

"Happy birthday," he whispered before getting ready himself.

Wrote this entire chapter on my ipad ('thecompany': I wouldn't mind the iStark XP) which proved to be surprisingly effective, lol.

You guys know the drill, read and review please! (The world's spinning depends on it, remember? See how important reviews are?)