A Tale of Two Parties

Chapter 2

"And so as you can see by this diagram of the area the villain had the misfortunate idea of using the front entrance instead of the rear and ran head first into my waiting arms. HaHa HaHa."

A slight chuckle resounded from the audience, the exception being one small red headed girl who let out an anguished moan instead. This by far was the most incredibly boring lecture she had ever endured, worse than any Mr Barken could have come up with. At least with that teacher some modulation occurred in his voice, usually when he was yelling at an unruly student, ok fine Ron. Plus he occasionally tried to make learning interesting; this guy just lulled his audience into a stupor; which was most likely how he apprehended his villains. Why others in attendance weren't in a similar stupor as she was boggling to Kim's mind.

It had started out reasonably well, she'd read the mounting outside the door, the lecture had sounded interesting enough. The room in which the speech was held was pleasant; ceilings were as tall as those in the main hall, walls were of a neutral off white colour. Upon the floor the carpet matched that of the hallway. All the chairs present were fairly comfortable but small, consisting of a metal framework, plus padding for the seat and back that was of a plush dark purple. But for those slouching down the chromed iron was more than a little uncomfortable upon the top of the spine. At the very front upon a raised platform the speaker, or as this case showed the mind-numbing orator who was slowly, torturously destroying poor Kim's brain cells, spoke. A microphone was attached to his shirt and with a laser pointer he highlighted areas on the image being projected upon the wall behind via an overhead projector.

Nearby there was what she assumed was a gentleman for the heavy combat armour he worn could easily have covered a woman and hidden all bits of feminine charm. A slight noise similar to a snore seemed to be emanating from inside the helmet. He was lucky no one could see that he was asleep. For the pretty Kim Possible there was no such luxury everybody would see her dozing and most likely assume the worst that she was uninterested, which in fact she was. Looking back towards the double doors she was fairly certain at the opening of this dreary fiasco she had heard a slight click of the doors being locked so as to prevent the mad rush of people fleeing.

Glancing down at her watch Kim lead out another groan, the blasted thing must be broken for it hadn't moved since the last time she'd checked. Head slumping forward she thought of how poorly Ron must be doing at his little get together.

Xxxxx

Bwaaa Haaaa Haaa Haaa!

The sound of uproarious laughter echoed around the small table. Hands were smacked against the hard laminated surface and tears were wiped from the corners of the crowd's eyes. Knees were slapped and bellies needed holding as the mirth flowed freely amongst the group. Even the several animals in the midst of the revelry were rolling around or holding their sides so free was the crowds delight.

"Oh wait…wait…wait…I got one." Cried out a young blonde hair bloke as his palms resting heavily upon his knees; having just completed a jovial bit of mirth and figured it was his turn to put something forward.

"Ok me and KP…ah…Kim Possible had been called by this desert Prince or something to guard him during some sort of annual civil festivities and this includes a big parade. I don't know why I guess he didn't trust his own people or something. But that doesn't matter." Opening his palms and pointing them forward he motioned for his audience to wait. "So we're out in the desert dressed in nicer fatigues, which includes a knee length skirt with a light blouse and sensible shoes for her and for me a pair of dress khakis complete with a button up shirt.

"But she's all acting like my mother she's telling me "Come on Ron your need to drink." "Were in the desert Ron its hot, drink your water, you need to keep yourself hydrated." Going on and on."

"I mean get real this Prince is representing his father at some parade where everybody who's got a somewhat important group gets to walk before the imperial grandstand to show their loyalty and get a nice little wave. We and all the kingdoms most important people are taking shelter under this big white tarp designed to keep out the sun and its equipped with an air conditioner that's blowing cool air over everybody inside. So nobodies the slightest hot. But like a good girl she's pounding back the water bottles."

"Any way this thing is about as exciting as watching paint dry but in the distance I hear a band playing exuberance marching music and so I look down and see some army units coming into view. I also note that Kim's squirming in her chair. "Ron I can't hold it, keep an eye on the Prince I really have to go" and she takes off at a run."

"Well the military unit marches out and right in front the leader turns, pulls out his great long swords and shrieks "Death to the Tyrant!" and the whole group drops their instruments and charges forward screaming bloody murder. Well I call out to Kim letting her know there's trouble."

"In other words you screamed like a little girl." This from the cheep seats fallowed by a round of muffled laughter.

Putting one hand to his chest "I let her know in a clear concise voice that trouble was a foot." "Now where was I… oh yes. So I grab hold of his majesty and start dragging him away. Mean while with a crash Kim flies out of the toilet and charges straight into the fray knocking the first one flat with a kick to the gut and heads off for a second one. But before she gets there I notice something amiss and call out Kim!"

"Not now Ron I'm busy."

"But Kim!"

"Get him outta here!" she screeches and head off to deal with another foe."

"So like a good little sidekick I pull, push and practically drag this guy off the podium and take him one hundred meters or so to his waiting limo. He and one of his loyal bodyguards are bundled inside and speed off to safety. So my job done I quietly saunter on back and see Kim standing overtop the last of the unconscious villains and she's looking quite pleased with herself having just vanquished like twenty bad guys. I mean there were bodies all over the place, couldn't tell whose side they were on but at that point it didn't matter. But anyway…"

"Well I quickly stumble over the remains and grasp her about the waist and turn her about so her back is pressed up against my front."

"Bet you enjoyed that?" there was another round of laughter from the audience.

"Well we weren't dating at the time and at that point I didn't really think of her as a girl, which looking back is kinda foolish. But I'm rambling."

Continuing with his story "Looking more than a little confused she turns her head about as far as possible and asks in an irritated tone "What are you doing?""

"And I whisper in her ear. Your skirts tucked into your under ware; she'd been fighting like that the whole time. Well her face sinks, jaw dropping to her chin and she goes all bug eyed, I mean she looks like she could have died. Then she quickly darts her hands behind her back and starts struggling to remove the offending fabric and straighten her clothing out.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She shrieks at me all red faced.

"I tried but you were to busy."

The crowd burst out in more laughter at another story in which a hero is brought down by an unfortunate bit of embarrassment. It was another story that Kim would be very annoyed about him telling. That was if she ever found out he'd told it; but sometimes one couldn't help oneself.

"So did she have sexy undies on?" giggled someone in the back.

"No she never wore those types of things before we started dating. Nope she happened to be wearing a lovely pair of white ones with a cute little kitty on them."

Another round of laughter erupted as the imaginations of the audience to the sight of a girl with her underwear exposed.

"My turn…" Ron looked over at the far side of the table as a young man of lesser years than himself waved his hand in the air begging for attention. He was dressed rather oddly, the bangs of his jet black hair hung down over a small mask that barely covered the bridge of his nose before moving out and around his little green eyes. A bright yellow cape draped down to his waist and hung open revealing a brilliant scarlet short sleeved shirt. Although Ron tried to avert his eyes he couldn't help but notice the fact that the boy had a sort of dark green speedo covering his groin area leaving his legs bare. This was not the type of costume he would even consider wearing even during play time with Kim.

Long open ended green gloves danced through the air as the boys excitement grew at the chance to tell his amusing tale. "Ok me and the boss are sitting at this stake out for about three days waiting for the villains to reveal themselves and do something to slip up so they can be apprehended. So we're high atop a building eyeing this storefront restaurant that we wired several weeks ago, just waiting and waiting. Then this group arrives and the time, date, whatever gets logged in but still nothing, then a second group appears, then a third. And now we're thinkin' gadzooks this is it the chance we've been waiting for. Then it happens, they start their meeting and give us the info we need and that's it now we can move in to put an end to their villainous deeds."

"So we both fire off our grapples letting them catch on the opposing building and off we leap off into space reeling them in as we go. As was standard I land on the concrete sidewalk just in front of the glass window. While he goes smashing through looking like the devil himself has come down for restitution. That's not what happens though."

Boss just pounds into the window like a small bird and just splatters himself against the pain. It wasn't a pretty sight arms and legs plastered everywhere, face mashed with spit smeared everywhere and don't get me started on his helm and cape. Oh looking back it was funny." The boy wiped away a tear from the corner of his eye. His audience began snickering in amusement as he mimed his superior smushed against a window.

"But that's not the end of it. He slides off the glass and plops down on the ground, I notice his legs all bent at a screwy angle and I'm goin' have to carry him home. Not a bad thing for me as I'm gonna get to drive the car home and it is an awesome piece of machinery."

"By now the baddies have made note of what's going on and their thugs have charged out the front door. I'm thinkin' there's six of them and one of me, it won't be easy but I can do this." This story seemed to have been told before and the lad was working his audience. "Suddenly two of the guys start twitching uncontrollably and I notice the chief has blasted them with his paralysis beam and the odds are a little more in my favour, four I can handle."

Those four are now looking a little worried but they still look ready to press forward. Now the forth on the far right drops with a second shot of the beam and those remaining look ready to run for cover until they realize the bloody fools hit me in the leg with the same blast of the beam that took out the third guy and now I'm stumblin' about like an idiot barely able to stand upright."

There was a general tittering of hilarity as the youth acted out the stumbling around like fools portion of the story. "It was a little messy but I managed to pull our chestnuts out of the fire and get home looking like quite the gallant fellow. Driving was a bit of a pain what with the gas peddle on the right and the legs still wobby" Placing his hand upon his chest, fingers opened wide as to emphasise his valiant efforts.

"Ok…guys…Ok I got a much better one…." The next side kick in the line began his fairy-tale.

Ron chortled to himself; he was having such a wonderful time with all these other sidekicks. He was so glad that his lover was having an equally wondrous time with all her heroic associates