Chapter 2: First session

The next morning Erika canceled her appointments until noon and stayed at home. In Teatime's room there was that kind of sofa psychologists usually have for their patients to help them relax by making them feel comfortable.

"Would you like to sit?" she asked while sitting on an armchair herself.

"No. I'd rather stand."

"Ok. Let's start. Why do you think you are here?"

"I don't know. I remember the poker and then I saw my body from outside of it and then I faded. Next thing I knew I was here and noone could see me."

"You do realise this is not you, right? Jonathan Teatime is a character from a book. A really good book indeed but still…"

"I told you! Discworld is real. You are a witch. Check it."

Erika went to bring one of her books. She put it on the bed and said a small spell. The book started glowing in various colors.

"You win." she said "It's magical. But still… I have no idea how to send you back. Maybe something from your past will help. There has to be a reason you ended up here."

"My past?"

"You can start from your childhood."

"My childhood… I grew up at the Guild of Assassins. My parents died when I was little. I studied a lot about poisons and daggers and I eventually became an assassin."

"Isn't there anything you remember from your parents?"

"Not really."

Nina entered the room. When she realised Teatime was in there she hissed at him and left.

"I don't think Nina likes you Jonathan. That's strange. She likes everyone."

"Well, I don't really like cats either."

"Why is that?"

"I think I remember something. My parents bought me a cat to have as a pet when I was little."

"Kids without siblings tend to bind with pets. That's why parents buy them one, a cat or a dog."

"I don't think we bound that well. There are some vague memories of stone throwing and eventually setting the cat on fire."

"No wonder why Nina dislikes you."

"I've done worse things to people."

"I'm sure you have. Why did you set the cat on fire though?"

"I don't know. I suppose I wanted to know what would happen. The stones had gotten boring after some time. I thought I'd change my method a bit."

Erika withheld the question "What happened to the cat?" as she was sure she didn't want to know.

"When will you send me back? I do have a revenge to get."

"Why do you seek revenge that much?"

"She… killed me? Is that not enough of a reason?"

"I suppose. I have never been killed before."

"If you like it to maintain that status I suggest you figure a way fast."

Erika thought there was too much violence in that man and that it probably was there to hide something else.

"I'll go pour some coffee" she said.

Teatime was left alone in the room. The previous night he had noticed a porcelain doll in the room but he didn't get the chance to observe it well enough.

The doll's hair was exactly the same shade of blonde as Susan's were. She was wearing a long black dress that only left her hands and ankles uncovered like the women of Ankh-Morpork.

Erika looked inside the room before entering to see what he was doing when he was alone. At that point she saw him looking under the doll's dress. She held back a giggle and entered the room.

"Everything alright, Jonathan?"

"As good as it could be considering I am a ghost and I am in the Roundworld."

"Please, let's continue. I see you are looking at my porcelain doll."

"It's quite nice."

"Thank you."

"It does remind me of some dolls my mother had. She never let anyone touch them."

"You can touch this one if you like."

"No, I… I… I don't really like dolls."

"But you do look under their dresses."

This sentence came as a slap to Teatime, who changed from white to red and settled at a furious yellow.

"Don't get upset. I saw you when I came in. Did you do that when you were little?"

He pulled Erika's hair and put a knife in front of her throat. She felt the cold blade on her skin and held her breath.

"I don't have to answer your questions. It's not fun any more."

Then he released her.

"I know you don't have to, but you can trust me. I just want to help. How does that doll make you feel?"

"Angry, a bit nostalgic and then angrier."

"Is that so?"

"She looks like Susan."

"How does that connect with your anger and nostalgia?"

"I am angry she killed me, I miss Ankh-Morpork and life and… I am angry with myself."

"With yourself? You believe you should have been more cautious?"

"That too."

"What else?"

"I miss her."

Erika looked at him letting him know he should continue talking.

"I miss Susan. I can't stop thinking about her. At first it was only revenge. But later… I tried to focus on revenge and how much I hated her but all my hatred has turned into desire. I can't imagine how that is possible but I can't help it."

"I see. This is difficult indeed. I believe you want to look under Susan's dress instead of the doll's, right?"

"Under, through, I don't care. I wish I could be with her."

"But she killed you."

"That's what makes her special. Many have wanted to kill me, she is the only one who succeeded. And that sort of turns me on."

"All right. I think we said enough for the day. Perhaps you should think about those things and we'll talk about that tomorrow. In the meantime I'll cook lunch and then go to work."

"Fine. I'll stay here and… think."

"Oh, please stay away from Nina and before I forget…"

Erika snapped her fingers and a black tuft appeared at the doll's hair.

"That's more like it" she said "You can keep her if you want to."

"Thanks."

Erika went to work leaving Teatime with his thoughts. He held the doll in his arms and thought of Susan. Where would she be? Would she ever think of him? He had to find a way to be alive again and return to her.