"Officer. I didn't do anything, I swear. I can't believe you actually think I could do such a horrible, horrible, thing."
Everybody stared as two police officers escorted Mrs. Humblebee out of the lunchroom. In handcuffs. Shit.
As they stumbled across where Greg was sitting, Mrs. Humblebee started to scream. "GREGORY. GREG. I LOVE YOU. NEVER FORGET THAT."
Greg ran up to where she was and Lucas watched as he attempted to take down the two officers. "I'LL NEVER LET THEM TAKE YOU, STACY."
He punched and jabbed at the two officers, but their rock hard abs just deflected the attacks. But before he could get a real punch in, one officer released his grip on Mrs. Humblebee and picked him up, drop kicking him across the room. As Greg got up and ran towards the officer, he only got a kick in the face.
Yay?
Lucas wasn't sure if he should cheer or not. He decided not to; it would probably be inappropriate. And he'd get his ass kicked later.
The school watched in amazement as Mrs. Humblebee was pushed out of the doors, crying and screaming the whole time.
"Can the stupid bitch just shut the fuck up already?" Remy was eying, more like glaring, at the doors Mrs. Humblebee just went out of. You could still hear the teacher's wails as she went down the halls.
"OHHH. You said the F word!" Allison was pointing at Remy, chanting that she was going to tattle.
Remy got a weird look on her face, but quickly lost it and punched Allison's scrunched up face.
Allison fell backwards, and Robert stood up, trying to intimidate Remy by puffing his chest out and leaning towards her.
"I'm taller than you, faggot."
Robert had nothing to say to that.
"She's gone! She's gone and it's all YOUR FAULT." Greg was wailing, running in Lucas' direction. Before he could respond, Greg punched him in the lip, causing it to bust.
"Ow. That really stings."
Greg moved as if he was going to attack Lucas again, but he tripped over Eric's practically dead body and lost his balance.
No, Greg didn't kick Lucas' ass that day. In fact, neither did James. No. Lucas was lucky. His ass got kicked by the whole fucking lacrosse team.
"How was school, Little Lucas?" His mom kissed the top of his head, pushing him into the doorway. Before he could answer her question, Mother Lucas noticed his bruises/cuts/dangerously infected wounds.
"What happened?"
"Oh, nothing. Just a little horse playing."
"DID YOU MAKE ANY FRIENDS?" Mother Lucas squealed excitedly.
"Well..." Lucas trailed off. "Chris showed me his "special" magazines, and Eric referred to me as his "acquaintance."
"MY SON HAS FRIENDS." Mother Lucas screamed.
Lucas backed farther into the wall, wondering for a moment if his mother was dangerous. Deciding she wasn't, Lucas ran up the stairs, kicking off his shoes as he tried not to wake up Father Lucas.
"I'm soooo glad Mrs. Humblebee is gone." Lisa's voice rang across the classroom.
"A huge fucking surprise." Eric picked up his head to respond to Lisa's comment.
Before Allison could say anything, she was punched in her already broken nose by Remy.
"I wonder who will replace Mrs. Humblebee." Lucas tried to lighten up the conversation.
"Who cares? Mrs. Humblebee was just a stupid ho that nobody really liked anyway." Remy decided it would be nice to share her opinion, much to the dismay of the whole class.
"Do you have to be so mean?" James said nervously. Greg was suspended, and James probably felt naked without having him around.
"She's only mean because EVERYBODY knows that she likes..." Allison hushed her voice, trailing off. "Girls."
"You did NOT just fucking go there."
Remy tackled Allison, pushing her to the ground. Allison tried to fight back, but her attacks were feeble and she just kind of scratched at Remy's shirt.
Remy got up and started to kick her. "You" -kick- "should not" -kick- "believe" -kick- "fucking" -kick- "rumors" -kick- "especially" -kick- "if" -kick- "they're" -kick- "not" -kick- "true."
Lisa squealed in delight, clapping her fat hands, urging Remy on.
James looked scared, as if Remy might start hurting him.
Robert looked like he should do something, but remained still.
Lucas had heard rumors from other students, but didn't think it would be a good idea to bring them up. Apparently Remy didn't appreciate anyone who did.
After Remy had finished kicking the ass of Allison, she sat back down while Allison just kind of laid there.
"Holy shit." Chris exclaimed, laughing.
A door opening interrupted him, though, and everybody turned their gaze towards the man that walked in. He looked kind of scary, and Lucas was 99% sure James pissed himself.
"Greetings. My name is Michael Tritter, but you will refer to me as Mr. Tritter at all times." He gently closed the door. "I'm your new teacher."
Allison staggered to her desk, quickly sitting down before Mr. Tritter could say anything.
Lisa stood up. "Hi I'm Lisa."
"Nobody cares." Robert whispered.
Apparently neither did Mr. Tritter. "Nice to meet you. Sit down."
Lisa looked offended.
"I said sit down."
She sat down.
Lucas got off the bus at the same time Allison did. This wasn't her stop, but Lucas guessed she didn't want to be stuck with Remy on a bus any longer.
Lucas thought about asking her if she was okay, but then he realized he didn't really care and she probably didn't want to answer anyway. So he shut up until she started talking.
"Don't you think Robert is cute?"
"Not really, no."
"Hmph."
"Are you okay?" He decided to ask anyway.
"NO. Why the heck did she have to do that anyway?" Allison sighed, trying to look mean.
"You called her a dyke."
"OHHH. YOU SAID THE D WORD."