Thanks so much for the reviews! Here's the next chapter...

The door was opened by a middle-aged purple-skinned monster, with two holes for his nose. He was wearing a bright pink tutu and carrying a glittery, shiny matching pink magic wand.

"HARRY POTTER!" he screamed, giving Harry a bear hug. "Hi, I'm Voldemort, and I killed your parents! Welcome to my birthday bash! Where's my present?"

"Hey, Voldemort," Harry saluted him coolly, leaning in the doorway. "I think you're awesome. And sorry, I kind of forgot your present...but I promise I'll bring it by your house tomorrow! Is that okay with you? I'm sure it is - you're so cool!"

Voldemort was fuming. "You. Forgot. My. PRESENT?" he bellowed, falling to the floor and thrashing around. Then he stood up, took his palms, and hit Harry with such force backwards, the latter went tumbling into the thorny rosebushes. "How DARE you come here without a PRESENT?"

Harry was shaking. "Uuhh...umm...well..."

Hagrid saved the day. "'ey, Voldemort! Guess what! I 'ave this incredible pres'nt for you! I just remembered...it was supposed 'o be 'Top Secret', but who cares what that ol' fool Dumbledore says! 'Ere!" he reached into his coat pocket, and took out a small package, wrapped in a paper bag with a pink ribbon on top. Old people seem to like that color, Harry thought scornfully.

Voldemort greedily grabbed the present from Hagrid's hands and started unwrapping the present. "Is it a Barbie head?" he said with enthusiasm, ripping the paper off. "I lovehanging them off the end of ropes! Then I pour cranberry juice all over and pretend it's Dumbledore!" Finally, Voldemort finished extricating the present from the wrapping paper, and looked at it intently.

"It's a ROCK."

Silence.

"WHAT THE HELL AM I EVER GOING TO DO WITH A STUPID ROCK? Harry Potter, you RUINED my birthday!" he started sniffing. "And I'm going to KILL you for this! AVARA-"

"EXPECTO PRESENTUS!" Hagrid said, and a huge wrapped present fell to the ground, thumping the floor near the light Voldemort had sent from his bright pink wand. However, it was too late.

The light had already hit Harry.

"Pshh," Harry snorted, leaning on his other leg, "What would THAT ever do? You can't expect to pretend to cast some sort of a kids' fake magic show spell and get away with it! Just accept the rock, and be thankful for the amazing present that Hagri-er-WE got for you."

"Fine," Voldemort grumbled. He let Harry inside, and waved miserably to Hagrid. Then, he beckoned all his invitees to the center of the living room. "THIS," he said, pointing at Harry, "is Harry Potter. Please, all, introduce yourselves and get it over with so we can tell bedtime stories around a fire."

The crowd was filled with gasps of horror. "Harry POTTER?" "Harry Potter!" "Harry...Potter?" "OMG IT'S HARRY I NEED AN AUTOGRAPH!" "Um...does he have a girlfriend yet?" "Whatever! Who cares about Harry Potter? Hello guys, this is VOLDY'S party. GIVE. HIM. SOME. RESPECT!" This last comment came from a blond, blue-eyed boy of about the same age as Harry. "I'm Draco," he said, shaking Harry's hand. A redhead, also about Harry's age, snorted and a brunette next to him shushed him. "Find that FUNNY?" Draco snarled, his blue eyes piercing.

"Uhm...no?" the redhead stammered, backing into a corner.

"Well. Anyways, I'm Draco...Draco Malfoy," the blond boy said again. "Yeah, and I'm going to be in Slytherin tomorrow, you'd better believe it. Are you some sort of a wizard, Harry Potter?"

Harry shook his head. "Nope. Hagrid just laughed when I asked him."

"Oh. Well, bye!" Malfoy ran to the family room and started slicing off Barbie heads with his knife. The whole group took his lead.

Voldemort still looked furious. He was in a corner, sniffing with contempt. Harry went over to him - he felt sorry. Even he would have been a little less happy if he had gotten a rock for his birthday. "Heyy," he said to Voldemort, going to stand next to him. "I'm so sorry about the suckish present. I swear, I'll come by tomorrow and get you something better."

Voldemort just shrugged. "No, it's okay."

"Really?"

"Yeah, get me a really good, expensive one on Friday. It'll make up for the rock."

This made Harry giggle foolishly. "Uhh...Voldemort, wanna be best friends forever?"

Voldemort gave him a funny look. "Are you okay?"

Harry sighed and looked down. "No."

"Go get some water. Water puts sense in my head."

"Ah, okay. Thanks." Harry walked over to the kitchen, and took a glass out of the cupboard. He went to the fridge and pressed the button that said WATER, waiting for the clear liquid to appear. What appeared was not transparent.

Harry looked at the dark red liquid in his cup.

"Voldemort is a VAMPIRE!" he screamed, making all the guests go mad. "He drinks BLOOD! Run! RUUUUUUNNNNNN!"

Voldemort came over to Harry with a calm and dignified look on his face.

"WELL?" Harry said, his teeth clenched, as he came face-to-face with Voldemort. "What are you going to do, NOW? You tried to SUCK THE BLOOD OUT OF YOUR OWN PARTY GUESTS!"

"Harry," Voldemort said wearily, "That's cherry punch. I can get you some water if you don't like it."

Also, thanks to those of you who alerted & favorited. It means a lot to me. :D

Gale (Hah, I'm a girl, if you're confused ;P)