Limbo

One shot that goes into further detail of the night of Anna's birthday from Etienne perspective. Authors note at the end.

Gahh.

Anna is seriously doing me head in.

Ever since her birthday, things have definitely been tense between us. Is it possible for one night to be one of the best and one of the worst in my life at the same time?

Someone suggested a study session in the lobby. So here we sit. Meredith, Josh, Rash, myself and Anna. The tension between Anna and I is all wrong. There's always some form of tension- a wall that neither of us cross. But this time it's strained even more.

Rash and Josh are at that annoying state they go in to. The one where they have practically stopped study all together and instead are teasing each other, on the verge of eating each other's faces. Joy.

Meredith is helping Anna with her French essay, both deep in conversation. She so blatantly side stepped my offer of assistance with it, instead opting for Meredith. I notice the pout on Anna's lips as she listens to Mer's explanation of verb tenses. Stupid lips that even look appealing when are being used to assist Anna to form a scow.

How did we get like this? So tense and awkward? Oh yeah, I remember now. Her birthday outing...

I was pissed out of my mind when Anna pulled me out onto the dance floor that I had completely forgotten about my blonde, very Parisian looking girlfriend Ellie. All I was thinking about was Anna. And that skirt.

Earlier that night, the normally denim jeans clad Anna, entered the lobby, instantly putting me in a state of shock and longing. I'm pretty sure my jaw had hit the floor. They were the longest legs I'd ever seen. She just looked so incredibly sexy. The staring continued until Anna wrapped her coat around herself, moving my attention back to her face. There was no way she could not have seen me looking; I was about as subtle as Big Ben striking upon the hour. A quick glance at her revealed that yes, she had seen me. There she was, looking back at me with a little half smirk on her lips. Yep, she definitely saw the longing in my eyes. Also, my jaw being on the floor probably was a clear indicator of what was going through my mind.

'Think of anything else St. Clair' I told myself as we were walking to the pub.

5 drinks later, Anna came stumbling out of the crowd, breath less from all the dancing, looking sexier than ever. She was definitely drunk since she ignored the personal space boundaries that we had both established, and was talking to me with only centimetres between our lips. But then, I was obviously plastered since I agreed to dance with her. She grabbed my hand and led me into the crowd.

There were people everywhere and as we went deeper into the crowd, it got harder and harder to move. When we stopped, our bodies were pinned to each other. The band started playing a cover, Besoin De Rien by The Hellboys, and the place when off. The song has that perfect balance of attitude and buoyancy that it will get anyone dancing.

Anna boldly grabbed my hands and placed them on her hips. She positioned her arms around my neck, my hands rested on her lower back, reducing the space between us even further. Our bodies started moving together as we got lost in the rhythm. We were thrashing and convulsing in time to the beat and it was if nothing else existed except us and the music. She was mesmerising.

I needed to be closer to her. I had truly become lost in the moment. Nothing else existed or even mattered except my need for her.

Daringly, I bent my head so that my lips were just grazing the skin of her neck, right on her pulse, and continued to sing the lyrics to the song. Anna's reaction to the movement of my lips on her neck was immediate. She gripped the front of my shirt and slightly tilted her head back, allowing me more access. She fought back by slowly grinding her hips against mine, leaving no gaps between our bodies. I crumpled in defeat, snapping my head backward and simply relished the moment.

Anna only stopped the movement to slowly drop her body down mine, trailing her hands over my chest as she did so. My eyes closed and I let out a small moan. I wondered if she was torturing me on purpose. She couldn't know just how much she was affecting me. We were normally both so careful around one another. Obviously we were both drunker than we thought; the normal side effects of increase confidence and lack of consideration to the consequences was occurring.

The heat and the tension from moments before slowly began to subside. It was still there, however the urgency had reduced and we were simply enjoying the atmosphere of the pub. We continued singing and dancing until we were both so sweaty and dead tired that we could no longer move. In desperate need of water, I grabbed her hand and towed her to the bar. We were so delusional that we were laughing at everything and nothing at all.

But that's when the shit hit the fan and reality came and punched me in the face. Enter Phoebe Fontaine, the one and only roommate to Ellen, aka Ellie, aka my girlfriend.

My first thought was that I couldn't believe I got caught. But then that was replaced by anger at that fact that I was doing something in the first place that I knew I shouldn't have been doing. In that moment, there was no mistaking the fact that I was my father's son.

I had to see Ellie, right away. I had to fix this. I was not going to let this-my lack of self control- put an end to us like this.

What still confuses me is how upset Anna was. Her anger towards me was nothing compared to my own. I welcomed her anger, used it as fuel for my own.

Of course I went to Ellie. No way am I becoming like him, however easy it is for me to navigate this path. She was brutal, shrieking about the humiliation I have caused her. How embarrassed she feels to even be in the same room as Phoebe. How her friends already thought it was odd to be dating a boy still in high school, no matter how charming he is. On and on this went for hours.

It had been quiet for a while and she had stopped crying. She looked at me with a mix of determination and composure.

"Etienne. I don't like this... You have feelings for her don't you?"

I couldn't lie to her, not while looking straight to her face. Holding eye contact with her, my silence was enough of an answer for her.

"I want this to stop Etienne. I want it to stop now. This crush you have for Anna has got to stop."

She had lost that manic behaviour from before and looked at me with collectedness. Words began tumbling out of her mouth but they were well thought out. I felt as if I was a child being scolded.

"You and I are going to forget this happened okay? Forget that this silly little incident with that silly little high school girl even happened. Because deep down, if you're honest with yourself, you know that you and I are good for one another."

With that, the conversation was over. While she may seem egocentric at time, she can be just as determined when she wants to be.

Her words still echo in my head as I snap back to the present. Homework in the lobby. Today marks the 937th week of Anna's existence and a week since she started despising mine. Looking over at Anna, I notice she has put her hair up, exposing the side of her neck. I absentmindedly begin to hum Besoin De Rien by The Hellboys but stop instantly.

What am I going to do? We can't move forward without me ending things with Ellie. And I'm not even sure she wants to move forward. So, should I take the risk, break up with Ellie and see if things move forward with Anna? Or should I stay with Ellie, with what is easy, with what I know? I owe it to Ellie to try and work things out with her.

Anna and I are at a stale mate. We're stuck in a game of limbo. And not the fun type with a broom stick and festive music. But the awkward type with snide remarks, stolen glances and unresolved feelings.

Looking back to my books I let out a sigh. I miss our banter. And the way she would always listen to me drabble on about me mum. How she absentmindedly cleans when nervous. I miss my best friend.

Greaatttttt. Josh and Rashmi have now started using tongue. How, you might ask, do I know this? Because I have a front row viewing of the action as its happening, play by play. The status of their relationship is nearly as confusing as Anna's and my own and its easier just to roll with it.

Seriously, as if I don't have enough to feel sick about. Seeing their snogging session definitely isn't helping.

Maybe I should go ask Nate if he has a broom stick for limbo. At least that way, I could put an end to the 'Josh and Rashmi Pash show'. Plus it's known for being a good social ice breaker. I might see Anna's lips smile instead of form a scowl. There's no doubt she would smile. Its impossible not to be happy while listening to the bongos and playing limbo.

Authors note:

So, I was reading the book again (as you do) and was reading the scene about Anna's birthday (Pages 274 to 275). My reaction to it the first time I read it was 'nawwww, is that it?'. The scene was good in that it gave you the impression that the moment was full of passion and need and shows them in a state where they have both (with the help of a little alcohol) let their guard down. But I was like 'come on Perkins, I need the deets!'.

So that's my reasoning for writing this fanfic. I would love to hear what people think. Even if you think its horrible, I would love to hear why you think so. Cause like, while writing this story, it makes complete sense in my head and the connections are clear as to what I'm referring to. But I just realised that it is most likely the case that no one understands what the heck I'm going on about. And it's always nice to know that someone read my story. The fact that I had 4 people comment on my last story resulted in many personal hi-fives (or PHF's as I like to call them. I keed, I don't have an abbreviation for them, haha). Now, I know there are stories with like four HUNDRED comments, so in comparison its nothing but I was so stoked that somewhere in the world there were 4 people who have read my story.

Now you see why I put my authors note at the end- I tend to ramble, haha.