…'Oh my jolly roger! What's dreamboat Charlie doing here? I mean, I know that he lives near here but… what's he doing here? I swear he just follows me wherever I go. Last time I saw him he was climbing up the side of my flat wearing nothing but an army helmet.

Flash back

Miranda is sat waiting for Tilly to return with Stevie; her husband-to-be is unrelentingly chasing her round the room. The window slides open and Dreamboat Charlie climbs through the wondow.

'Miranda! My wonderful Miranda!' He walks towards her in a 'trying too hard' seductive way (he is naked at this point) He lunges forwards with one leg on the arm of her sofa.

'He moved, it moved!' she runs to the bathroom clutching his arm and throws him through the door and slams it behind her as she returns to the living room.

'Oh my! What am I supposed to do now? I have a man in my bathroom who wants to do the pumpdy de rumpdy avec moi and another man in my bedroom that wants a little light relief from his bare with wife-to-be. HELP!'

She walks into the kitchen to get a glass of water while she thinks and the front door slams. She thinks that Tilly has returned with Stevie.

'What took you so long, I've been here for twenty minutes with…'

Two hands wrap around her waist.

'Surprise! Spontaneous enough for you?' she nods with glee but then realises her current situation.

'I appreciate the thought Gary but… I don't think I can do this right now.'

'Why not, is it the dressing gown? Too much?' he looks down at the robe.

'No. The robe is fine… lovely. It's just that…erm. Oh it's hard to explain but you have to leave.' She points to the exit when the bedroom door opens and Tilly fiancée steps out in his underwear. He struts forward and then the bathroom door opens and out comes Dreamboat Charlie in nothing but his too big army helmet. All three men stare at each other with slight jealousy and complete confusion. Then the front door opens again and Tilly and Stevie enter.

'What the gigantorific collybobbins is going on here?' Asks Tilly

'Popkins! I was simply, simply, simply…' he quickly exits the flat and runs down the steps. Tilly follows him in anger. Miranda's mother steps into the living room and stops suddenly in shock.

'What on… GO MIRANDA!' she almost faints with joy and goes to join Gary who is standing with his dressing gown on the floor by his feet. Miranda grabs Dreamboat Charlie and drags him out of the flat.

At the back of the bed store

'Let's not speak of that again. Anyway, I need a new bed and I have just walked through a sign saying 'staff only'. Something tells me I'm not going to be alone back here.'

Miranda continues walking down the corridor and eventually goes through what looks like a fire exit. She enters a large room filled with chairs and staff members. She tries to turn around and leave but a stern looking man grabs her by the arm.

'Amanda! Where have you been? You are four hours late for your shift, and on your first day.' He walks with her into the next room which looks like a warehouse building.

'Now, this will be where you'll be working for the next few weeks. All you have to know is in the leaflets you received on accepting your application and this is Mandy who will help you over the first few days.' Miranda, turning her head to the camera kept one eye on the manager man who had just thrown her in at the deep end.

'What do I do? Oh I hate being a 'responsible human'. Why can't I just go back out there buy the child's bed, hit dreamboat Charlie across the head and leave instantly. Hang on… oooh… that's very good. I should do that. No…OK…no…OK I'm going to do it.'

Ripping off the nametag that the short important man had just given her, she leapt over the cardboard boxes and headed for the door. She got a little stuck on the push door that she took to be a pull door but eventually she left the warehouse and entered the bed shop once more. Dreamboat Charlie was still there waiting expectantly (stalker) but Miranda simply walked past him. Remembering her plan, she turned back to face him and his eyes lit up with joy. She lifted the bag that she had earlier stolen from a customer back at the shop and raised it, not that far, to his eye level. He seemed confused until Miranda clonked him over the forehead with the satchel. She had done it! Turning round to the shop assistant man she raised one hand.

'I'd like one of these please. Yes that's right, the child's one.' She pointed at her chosen product and left swiftly. The assistant came running after her out of the door.

'No! Sir! You just assaulted a customer! Return at once or I'll call the police!" As expected… she ran.