The volume was already increasing around the triad table as the drinks freely made the rounds from glass to glass. Sam glanced at his hand, throwing a confident grin at his opponents as he spread the cards between his fingers. It was getting to the stage of the night where most present had an alcohol fuelled sense of bravado and although Starbuck had had her fair share of ambrosia, she was lucid enough to see Sam's thumb nail unconsciously rubbing against his index finger; she knew she had him beat. Racetrack and Hot Dog had both finished organising their cards and were now looking at her expectantly. She squinted her eyes in false concentration at the hand she had been dealt. What most people didn't notice was that she never actually looked at her own cards until the others seated at the table had picked up their own, so she could watch the subtle reactions of each of the players. Racetrack was already leaning forward, ever so slightly, but there was enough eagerness in her manner to warn Starbuck to proceed with caution.
'Hmm, what to do…' Kara trailed off, the rest of the table anticipating her call. She took a deeper breath, knowing that calling with her current hand would be suicide. She gave her opponents a smirk and dramatically flicked her cards into the middle of the table. 'I might let someone else take this round.'
'Whoa, the mighty Starbuck backs down,' Racetrack teased, her confidence rising now that the best player had folded.
'Don't worry,' Sam said with a slight slur, condescendingly patting Kara on top of the head. 'It's tough keeping up with the big boys.' He gave her a cheeky grin as she screwed up her nose in mock offence. Racetrack cleared her throat in an overtly obvious manner until Sam looked in her direction and added in an apologetic tone: 'And girls.'
'Yeah, and don't you forget it, Anders.'
The other three players continued the battle and although the stress free atmosphere was a comforting change, Kara was surreptitiously watching the door, wondering if Lee would stay true to his word. Just as Hot Dog was dealing the cards for the next round, Starbuck saw a shadow moving across the floor of the doorway and - even out of the corner of her eye - she could discern that the figure who followed it was Lee. She sat up a little straighter, and spoke loudly as though she was immersed in the game and totally unaware of his appearance.
'C'mon, Hot Dog, my grandma could deal faster than you.' He raised his eyebrows as though presented a challenge and flicked her next card across the table, sending it skidding over the smooth surface, and even though Kara's hand was coming down to stop it, the card had already reached the end and dropped into her lap before her palm had hit the table.
'Seems your reflexes aren't quite the same since you got back,' he pointed out.
'You wanna go a round in the ring and test that theory?' she shot back as a jovial dare.
The two of them stared at each other, trying not to laugh, but before Hot Dog had a chance to respond, Lee had made his way to the table with a full bottle clutched in one hand. 'Got room for one more?' he asked, but it seemed to be with less confidence in his tone than normal. Kara could almost feel the mood of the room change, even if it was subtle. She saw Hot Dog and Racetrack glance sideways at each other and Sam shift slightly in his chair, his eyes remaining focused on his cards while he downed the remaining liquid in his glass.
'So you've come out of hibernation, have you?' she questioned, feeling the need to break the awkward silence that now lingered in the room. She gave a nod of her head to the bottle he was holding. 'And you come bearing gifts.' He gave her a small smile of thanks for her loyalty as she held up her empty glass and wiggled it in front of him. While he concentrated on filling the glass, her eyes narrowed by the smallest degree as she looked at the others around the table.
Racetrack seemed to be battling a moment of indecision, then scraped her chair across the floor, creating a space between her and Kara. 'Pull up a chair, Apollo.' He passed the bottle to her and made a grab for the closest seat to slot in the newly formed space.
Sam rubbed at his temples and then looked towards Kara through hazed eyes. 'Actually guys, I'm going to call it a night,' he announced to the table in general. He stood up with a wobble, grasping the edge of the table for support and pointedly looked at Kara, but the action lost its significance as he had difficulty focusing his stare.
Hot Dog shook his head, feigning superiority. 'Poor Anders, doesn't know how to pace himself. Looks like he might need some help walking.'
'You'll be okay to make it back to your own quarters, won't you Sammy?' Kara said confidently, giving him an encouraging slap on the backside as he made his way past her to the exit. He absently waved over his shoulder before bringing his hand back to his eyes, rubbing them as he stumbled out of the room. Lee sat down, looking from Sam back to Kara, but she didn't appear to be perturbed by her husband's early exit from the game. He nervously tapped his fingers on the table until his cards were dealt and the next few rounds passed with minimal chatter but maximum alcohol consumption. It soon became apparent that each of the players was just going through the motions, the previous light-hearted manner slowly dissipating. It was a disturbing atmosphere; the usual location to relax and enjoy time with the rest of the crew had suddenly become awkward and tense. Kara was somewhat puzzled by the response of the others when Lee had joined the game and wondered what else had happened in her absence to divide the pilots. She hadn't noticed any problems during training briefings, but she guessed no one was stupid enough to question the CAG while they were on duty.
'So where's Dee?' Racetrack's question hung in the air, the first significant sentence that had been uttered in the last few minutes. It was one of those rumours floating around: that there had been a fight between Lee and his wife over Baltar's trial, but despite the close living arrangements aboard Galactica, they had managed to keep most of their problems private. However, Racetrack's curiosity mixed with her inebriated state was threatening to probe Lee for answers.
'She is on R and R at the moment.' It wasn't exactly a satisfactory explanation, but it was all he was willing to reveal.
'I guess everyone needs some time to themselves,' Racetrack said absently.
Lee was immediately defensive. 'And what is that supposed to mean?'
She stalled for a while, aware that Lee was already interpreting what she was saying as an attack, but it was still taking her a while – along with many others aboard Galactica - to accept the fact that he had defended Baltar, and it was the first opportunity she had had to talk to him off-duty. 'I'm just saying I can see it must be frustrating to be living with someone who has a differing opinion on what is right and wrong.'
Lee took a calming breath, rising from his chair with controlled deliberation. 'Well I guess the next time I am faced with a moral dilemma, I'll be sure to ask your opinion.' He kept glaring at her but she didn't relent so he turned his attention towards Hot Dog to see if there was any indication of support; but Hot Dog just stared back at him without saying anything in defence, silently proving Lee's suspicions. A small laugh of disgust escaped Lee's lips as he shook his head slightly, then turned and headed towards the exit, his footsteps drumming an ominous beat with each step.
'Nice one guys,' Kara said, scowling as she threw her cards face-up in front of her. She placed both palms on the table, leaning forward in an intimidating fashion as she rose from her seat. 'I guess there are no winners tonight.' She grabbed the half empty bottle then roughly shoved her chair against the table but by the time she had turned around to make her way out of the room, Lee had already disappeared around the corner.
XXXXXXXXX
Sam had not even been in his bunk for five minutes before he had fallen into a restless sleep. His eyes were rapidly flicking from side-to-side beneath his eyelids as twisted dreams and visions bombarded his mind: centurians merging into the likeness of Tigh and Tori; Kara digging her fingers into the flesh of her shoulder to pull at the patch that was stuck there, clenching it in her hand until her nails drew blood before she threw it at him; Chief and Athena holding their children towards him, nodding slightly; Kara standing in the distance with a look of pure hatred in her eyes, heavy tears streaked down her cheeks; the sound of a baby crying; Kara beside him, cradling a newborn wrapped in a blanket before she opened her arms, letting it fall,
fall,
fall…
Sam's eyes sprung open in the darkness and he clutched at the sheet that had moulded itself to his sweat soaked skin, ripping it from his body. He sat up, his ribs expanding with each deep breath that he took, his heart thumping rapidly. His head was spinning, still affected by the copious amounts of alcohol that were searing through his blood and he was disorientated for a while, trying to decipher his location in the blackness of the room. There was a vague recollection of playing triad earlier in the night and scrambling into his bunk with a headache threatening to make an appearance, but he couldn't remember what had elicited the feeling of terror that now engulfed him. He squeezed his eyes shut, waiting as the feeling slowly retreated and eventually laid himself back down, taking several calming breaths as he stared blankly at the roof of his bunk.
XXXXXXXX
Lee sat on the couch, not bothering to raise his eyes as he heard the hatch to his quarters cautiously creak open; he knew it was Kara even before her voice filled the emptiness of the room. 'In case you have forgotten, we're stuck on a battlestar with limited supplies. You can't just waste precious commodities.' His head remained facing the ground, but he slowly looked up until he could see her silhouette framed in the doorway, the bottle dangling from her hand. Her shadow stretched along the floor, almost touching the point where his feet were resting, and the harsh light that flooded around her from the hallway contrasted against the darkness that hid her expression. She closed the hatch behind her and Lee blinked a few times until his eyes adjusted to the dimness of the room. She walked towards the couch and placed the bottle on the table, the remaining fluid sloshing up the sides of the vessel as she sat down next to him. 'It seems I missed all the action while I was away.'
Lee turned his head until he was facing her. He knew that was her way of saying that she understood he was having a rough time; that she was there to listen to him and she wouldn't question his actions; that there were some loyalties that could never be broken. But despite all that, his mind was sending out signals of caution, reminding him of all the times he had let his guard down with her and she had mocked him for it, even if it was only in jest. And he began questioning why anything involving her always ended up being complicated; why everything she suggested sounded like a good idea at the time, but ultimately resulted in trouble. The debate flicked through his head in a matter of seconds and in the end he resolved to fill in the blanks for her based on two things: that they were alone so she wouldn't have an audience if she decided to make a smart-ass comment; and that in reality, there was no one else that he could confide in anyway.
She picked up the bottle, offering it to him as an incentive to talk, and he lifted it to his lips, taking a few soothing mouthfuls of the burning liquid before passing the bottle back. He didn't really know where to begin, but soon the alcohol, depression and frustration all mixed together to create a volatile cocktail that encouraged him to reveal more than he had initially planned. He told her of the trial and the fight with his father, of his short return to being a civilian again and of the problems between him and Dee. And even though he had already said too much, the emotion he had suppressed since her return engulfed him all at once and he let one final revelation slip out: that he was angry at her, for making him question his reasons for marrying Dee; that ever since she had come back to Galactica, he had been plagued by guilt because he was more concerned with her welfare than repairing his damaged marriage. And as his final words faded into the dimness of the room, he realised that Kara hadn't said a word since he had begun talking; that her shocked expression was only just beginning to fade as she comprehended what had been said.
She turned her head away and stared blankly at the floor, the alcohol impairing her ability to process his confession, but it was starting to make sense why he had been avoiding her for the last few days. She wasn't sure if she secretly felt pleased that she still held that power over him, or annoyed with him for reigniting her feelings, despite her best efforts to maintain an emotional barrier between them. She only barely registered his hand brushing against hers as he made a grab for the bottle, hoping the remaining dregs would help drown his sorrows, but she released her grip too early and it slipped from her fingers, the loud sound of shattering glass jolting her back to reality. She reached down automatically, grasping the largest shard that lie amongst the destruction to place it on the table, and she didn't even realise that it had made a shallow cut across her palm until she saw the thin line of red emerging from the wound.
'Frak, Kara. Don't move,' Lee instructed as he shuffled through the drawer under the table, grabbing a small piece of paper as it was the closest thing he could find that may be of any use and then placed it against her palm, putting pressure against it with his own. Kara still seemed slow to respond to her surroundings and neither her nor Lee heard the door open or saw Dee's shocked expression as she noticed her husband hand-in-hand with the person who was the source of most of their problems. And it was only when Lee registered the lightening of the room did he look up, immediately dropping Kara's hand and striding over to his wife, even as she was backing out of the door.
'Dee, wait.' There was a hint of surprise in his plea, even though he was glad she had returned, albeit unexpectedly. 'What are you doing here?' He had been resigning himself to the belief that the last time she left, she had given him all the chances she was willing to offer.
Even though the shadows masked part of her features, he could see the hurt in her eyes as she looked at Kara still sitting on the couch, before she looked back into his eyes. 'Well, I guess it is irrelevant now.'
'Just let me talk to you.' He reached for her hand, desperately grasping it until she stopped her retreat. He seemed to have forgotten Kara's presence until she was suddenly beside them in the doorway.
'I'd better see how Sam is going,' Kara mumbled quickly, as she awkwardly squeezed past them and walked down the hallway, hearing the heavy hatch close behind her.