Whoa it's been a little over a month since I last updated this story! Sorry. Well, here it is, Chapter 2. A little warning though: it's ANGSTY! So if you guys can't stand it, then too bad. The angst is found when Alexxi tells her story, and this is the part where we get to know her past a little more. There is a point to her sad history, not just meaningless angst that I put there to fill up space, and even if you can't STAND sob stories, then let it be an eye opener to all you wealthy people who think money grows on trees. So, there's angst. And don't forget to REVIEW!
wine and roses: hey I updated Wanderer if you wanted to know, and thanks for reviewing!
xxTekkenBabexx: Thanks for reviewing also, and in case you're wondering, Wanderer has been updated (awhile ago…) if you're interested.
xjmaster: sorry—Something Real is taking longer than expected! Where've you been, anyway?
And thanks to all the other reviewers as well.
Oh girl we are the same
We are young and lost and so afraid
There's no cure from the pain
No shelter from the rain
All our prayers seem to fail
In joy and sorrow, my home's in your arms
In worlds so hollow it's breaking my heart
In joy and sorrow, my home's in your arms…
Oh girl we are the same
We are strong and blessed and so brave
With souls to be saved, and faith regainedAll our tears wiped away…
"In Joy and Sorrow" by HIM
The human heart is a peculiar thing—mine in particular. Since Alexxi's entered my life, it's as if the past never happened. I always had a loving mother and a father. I never knew loneliness, the pain had only been an illusion, and as far I was concerned, I'd always been happy. Such a fragile little thing, yet hardy at the same time; the heart finds ways to mend itself, yet can be broken just as easily all over again…
"So how does it feel to be an official gang member now?" I asked, placing an arm about her shoulders.
Alexxi shrugs in mock apathy. "Eh, it's ok."
"Come on. Are they great, or are they great."
She looks up at me, smiling that smile of hers, and heat rises in my face. "They're all wonderful, Hwoarang. But you do know the real reason why I joined…don't you?"
In response, I gently pressed her against me. Of course I did, but I also wanted Alexxi to get to know the others as well. She'd be with us from now on after all.
Staring at her profile out of the corner of my eye, I marvel at this thing called love. It feels odd, because I'm not one for steady relationships, but, as I've said numerous times before, things were different with this blue-haired girl. Today she wears black jeans with boots, a simple white shirt that clung to her sleek curves, and both wrists were covered with bracelets. She had a peculiar style, unique, and I even liked her odd little black fingernails. To me, she was perfection.
I'd just picked Alexxi up from her house and we were on our way to meet the rest of the gang. If I'd had my motorcycle, I would have taken it, but Baek was currently using it to visit some relative in Pusan. It was odd that he'd actually trusted me to look after the house, me being the "irresponsible, childish street thug" that I was, but it was Baek's decision. Not that I cared; for two days, I had free reign of the dojang and the apartment.
The spring day was warm; the sun peeked shyly down to the earth occasionally from its hidden place behind the clouds, and the air carried with it the slight scent of apple blossoms. Raucous cries of birds pierced the air, along with the shrieks of children's laughter, and the looming trees tattooed jagged shadows on my skin. Peeling away the black leather jacket from my body, I slung it over one shoulder, sighing deeply.
My mother wasn't always a bad woman; we all begin innocent. But I remember how she used to take me on walks like this one, the sun beaming and the bees humming softly to the breeze. She'd wash my grimy hands after I played in the dirt, scold me softly, and then she'd talk and talk and talk to me during dinner. I was only four, so I often didn't even understand half of the things she said. Sometimes, she went into this little daze, as if she wasn't really talking to me, as if she just needed something, anything, to talk to—but that didn't matter. I loved the sound of her voice.
She kept a lot of secrets from me, my mother. I learned it the hard way when I turned five, when the orphanage stood before me. Baek told me that she'd tried hard to raise me the right way before giving me up…but I guess, in the end, I was only second best when it came to her addiction.
"How long have you had this gang?" came Alexxi's voice from below me.
"Since I was fifteen, and I'm twenty-two now…so about seven years," I replied, returning to the present.
"Wow. You must be pretty motivated to remain in it this long."
"Well, motivated or not, once you're in, you're in for good," I explained, "Gangs aren't like little temporary clubs; they're for life. You can't just go in and out as you wish when it comes to gangs. Besides, my friends need me. No offense, but without me, there would be nothing goin' for them."
"I see."
We walked on for a little while longer, enjoying one another's company, and Alexxi, oddly, remained quiet for once. She was usually quite the talker, more so sometimes than I was, but strangely, the conversation took on a somber tone.
Alexxi sighed softly, and her hand tightened in mine. "Here in Seoul, we all led difficult lives. You, me, Arumee, Jinha, all of them; we're survivors, Hwoarang. We've seen and felt things our minds and hearts want to forget, but refuse to release… What I'm trying to say, is that I'm like you, Hwoarang. My childhood wasn't one of the best times of my life."
"I'm sorry, Alexxi." I truly was, and I was uncertain whether I wanted to hear her story or not. I didn't ever want to imagine that the woman I loved had ever felt pain.
"Don't be. That life is past now, and I'm with you. Anyway, I grew up poor. I never knew a luxury in my life, and as a child, I became an expert at shoplifting. Poverty and hardship builds character, they say—but it can also turn people into desperate crooks…"
She paused, swallowing harshly. "But you know what the problem was? Every time I stole something, whether it was a dinky little piece of candy or a person's whole wallet, it was never enough. I was never satisfied, because it wasn't just the poverty. I think I could have eventually found happiness had it been solely the poverty, but it wasn't. You know that light and optimism that a little kid is supposed to have? In a fleeting moment, that was gone as well."
She closed her eyes momentarily, becoming further entangled within her memories. "I was forced to grow up…"
Alexxi looked away then idly picked up a stray dandelion from somebody's lawn then tucked it behind my ear with a small smile. Knowing it was her way of easing the tension, I let the yellow blossom dangle there instead of shaking it off. I must have looked like a complete idiot, but it didn't matter. Her face was calm, relaxed, but I could still see the pain caused by the bitter, tainted memories of a childhood denied; I could relate to her emotions all too well.
"And nobody helped us. They knew about everything, and yet all they did was stare and whisper when they thought my back was turned, but I knew they spoke of my mother and me. Society likes to pretend that nothing's happening, but they sure relish in another's misery. We're all a bunch of cowards," she snarled bitterly, her jaw clenched.
I was a little taken aback by her fury, but I remained silent and continued to listen.
"There was this girl at the elementary school I used to go to, and I can still remember her stupid little name: Sun Kim Yong. She had the nicest clothes, the prettiest hair, she was so cute and smart, all the boys loved her, her daddy was rich…she was the epitome of perfection—and I hated her. I wanted to be her so much, so I made myself hate her, in hopes that if I loathed her enough, I wouldn't desire such little things. It's normal to want things at that age, yet I believed myself selfish, for after all, my family is all that matters, right?"
She laughed sardonically as she released my hand.
"One day my father never come home, and Mom had to find some way to make easy money. I was nine when my mother turned to prostitution. She never told me she was selling herself in this way, but I wasn't a stupid kid. Adults underestimate the young way too much. I saw everything that went on, and though I didn't quite understand many things, I knew enough to say that my life was all wrong."
Alexxi kicked at a small rock on the pavement and I watched as it skidded away on the ground. She was trying not to feel the pain as she remembered, and I watched as she failed, the anguish unsuccessfully hidden in her pretty face.
"Lex, you don't have to do this," I murmured, but she shook her head.
"No, actually I do. I hate speaking of the past just as much as you do, and believe me I've taken every path of denial. But as the old saying goes: one can never escape one's own past," was her gruff reply, and so she continued.
"I hated my mother a long time after that. She was always off in some stranger's bed, and was often too tired to talk to me when she came home at night. The anger never lasted long, but the loneliness did…"
"I'd lie awake sometimes, and wonder why I wasn't like cute little Sun Kim Yong, wonder why my mom and I were living like this. She never listens to me, Hwoarang, even now. She won't get a real job. That's why I dropped out of school: someone's gotta take care of things, right?"
Alexxi laughed slightly and caught my eye. "And look at me now. I'm fucked up."
"Be quiet; that's not true," I protested.
"Oh, but I am, Hwoarang. I can steal a car in the blink of an eye, but am I really proud of that? I'm wild and stupid and weak, and this life is all I've ever known. Mother hasn't taught me otherwise, so why should I have dreams of something more?"
Alexxi turned to me then, her slender arms wrapping themselves around my neck.
"And after all these years, I've come to accept life as it was, because it wasn't gonna get any better—until now. Until I met you, I realized that good things do exist."
I looked away in response, unsure of how to respond to that one.
She laughed heartily, pulling away. "Sorry. I know you can't stand my sob story. I hate it too."
"Will you stop thinking the worst of me?" I said before kissing her softly.
Alexxi laughed again. "I don't. I've just never seen a red-haired, macho gang leader look this puppy-eyed before."
Smiling, I clasped her hand in mine, and we continued on. But as we walked, my mind replayed Alexxi's words in my mind. I marveled at her courage. Not many people were strong enough to do what she just did, to risk vulnerability and possible hurt again…
To think that my Alexxi, this strong, beautiful creature, had suffered as I had was heartbreaking. She deserved so much more than this dingy life on the streets, and for a moment I considered booting her out of the gang. Gang life was no joke, and it was often violent and dangerous. I didn't want Alexxi to know that kind of world. I wanted her to have something more than that hard life she'd known, and I wasn't really helping her much by initiating her into a gang. In that moment, I was willing to give her up so she could be happier somehow, away from these dark streets that haunted her memory.
"I don't want you in the gang," I murmured softly, disengaging myself gently from her embrace.
"That's a lie," she whispered, her azure hair shining in the white sunlight.
"No, I'm serious. You've gone through enough. Go to school, Alexxi. I'll help you."
She was so smart, and it would be unfortunate to see such a brilliant mind go to waste. I'm not one for education, but with Alexxi, I saw her doing great things. Had it not been for her lousy childhood and half-ass mother, my Alexxi would be excelling in school now and not hanging with a loser street dweller with nothing to offer.
She sighed, picking another dandelion. A sprinkle of its pollen dotted her nose as she inhaled the yellow blossom's scent "School's not for me. Never has been."
"Then…help your mom. You don't need this. I've nothing to offer that's any better."
"Hwoarang, you have no idea how much I need this gang. I need you. You've offered me so much more than I could have asked for; do you realize that? I'm not like Sun Kim Yong."
Shutting my eyes, I let her words sink in, knowing that it was useless. Her mind was set. But, a part of me was relieved, a part that really did want to keep her in the gang, keep her by my side, and I succumbed. Well, am I easy or what?
She wiggled her eyebrows. "Corny moment, huh?"
Sighing, I reached for Alexxi's hand as she laughed once more. It eased the melancholy mood some, but I knew that in reality, corny or not, we'd both become even closer today.
"I'll be fine, Hwoarang. The bad stuff is over and done with, so now I can handle anything. Besides, what could possibly happen that could be worse?"
I didn't have a chance to answer because right then we'd finally reached the gang. Arumee ground her cigarette butt into the pavement, and Jinha approached, an expression of mock anger on his face.
"What took you guys so long, man?" he complained, clapping me on the back.
Arumee simply smiled as she took sight of me. When she kept staring, and when the other gang members began to laugh, I glanced up, confused.
"What's so funny?" I asked.
"Nice flower, Hwoarang," said Arumee, and to my horror I realized that Alexxi's dandelion was still stuck behind my ear.
I smiled, replying, "I know," not allowing them the pleasure of seeing me embarrassed. However, I removed the blossom quickly, and, when no one was watching, I slid it gently into my pocket.
"Come on, slowpokes, this way! Hurry up!"
Jinha kept watch as Byung led the way through the back door. Arumee made it in first, and as soon as she entered, her hands reached out for any available food there was. After jamming the bags and packages into her pockets, the girl quickly left, and Jinha entered next.
On weekends, Bimun, the old video store/convenience store was always closed—and completely prone to robbery. My gang members were experts at stealing, and with the addition of Alexxi, the master, we were hardly ever unsuccessful. Old man Moon Kim was always perplexed when he returned on Monday to find his little store ransacked, but he fucking deserves it. He was one of those ornery old crones who'd never worked a day in his life, or suffered from poverty, so, my gang and I were always there to keep him in line and give him first hand experience. Of course it was against the law, but we were that constant thorn in his ass, reminding him that his privileged little world was fake.
After Alexxi exited with her own stash, I gave one last sweep of the area and motioned for my friends to follow. We crept silently from the place, our pockets bulging, and as soon as we were out of earshot and sight, we all burst into laughter. We'd gotten away with it yet again. Arumee tore open a bag of chips and passed it around after jamming two suckers into her mouth.
"Damn I miss my bike," I grumbled, and the others laughed.
"Aw quit whining, you big baby. Baek's coming back tomorrow anyway," said Byung as he lit a cigarette from his freshly stolen pack.
"Whoa…check out this chick's legs. Not to mention her nice little—" began Jinha as he stared longingly at a stolen porn video.
"Gimme that shit," said Alexxi, and she snatched the video, flinging it into the darkness, "shame on you. That porn crap degrades women, you asshole."
"What the fuck did you do that for!" cried Jinha, and he ran in the direction in which he hoped the video landed.
Arumee chuckled, slapping Alexxi's outstretched hand, and I couldn't help but laugh also as Jinha searched hopelessly for his beloved sex tape.
"Oh give it up, Jin. You're already too horny as it is," I teased, draping an arm around his broad shoulders.
"But—"
"There's always next time," I reassured, and Jinha eventually forgot about the video.
"Any beer, Byung?" asked Taruga, the burliest member of my gang, and Byung shook his head.
"Settle for these, man," he replied, handing Taruga two cigarettes.
The only things I've tried are cigarettes and alcohol. Alcohol is great, but from the beginning I've loathed cigarettes, and vowed never to touch one again. I refuse to touch any other narcotics or drugs in general; I don't want to be like the mother who'd abandoned me. Also, why would I want to use something that destroys my body? You might as well just eat rat poison. I'm a great fighter, and in order to stay that way I have to keep my body in shape, as well as maintain control of my own mind. It's one good aspect of me, I guess, staying drug free.
Had it not been for the occasional sputtering orange glow from the street lamps, the roads would have been pitch black. My gang and I knew this neighborhood like the back of our hands, so the darkness did not frighten us. The night was quiet, peaceful as usual, the crickets' lullaby the only audible sound…everything was as it should be.
That is, until, in the distance, I noticed something begin to approach us, a group of men from the looks of it. My friends soon took notice as well, and we halted in our tracks.
"You know those guys, Hwoarang?" inquired Jinha quietly, and I shook my head.
"No, they're not from here. But I think they might know me," I replied as the group quickly approached us. Gangs from all over South Korea had come to challenge me before, and I was guessing this was just another one of those times.
Once they finally reached us, the leader, a big burly man slightly shorter than I, glared over at me.
"Are you Myong Lee Hwoarang?" he rasped, clenching and unclenching his fists.
Smiling confidently, I looked him up and down, examined each of his scrawny gang members closely, then replied, "That's me. And you are?"
The man smiled back, his small eyes narrowing. "The almighty Hwoarang," he mocked, "We meet at last. You don't look so tough."
My muscles ached for combat and I was tempted to strike him immediately, but I was experienced enough not to allow this bozo to egg me on. Instead, I calmly replied, "And you are?"
The man grinned, straightening up. Arrogant fool. "Kim Hee, Lai. I wish to challenge you."
Well, duh. Why else would he be here? I suppressed a smile. This guy was way too confident for his own good, thought he was above me—well, we'll just see about that. He was so ignorant and stupid, and it would be fun breaking him.
Rubbing the back of my neck, I wondered how long the fight would last. Probably no more than ten seconds, ha. But it all depended on how much this Kim Hee character was willing to wager.
Well, it seemed to be a lot. As he flashed me the bills in his hands, I was already discarding my jacket. My gang members readied as well, but Lai held up one hand.
"No, no, no. You, Hwoarang, you alone," he said, and my eyes narrowed.
"That's not how we do it around here," I said, beginning to pull on my jacket. However, Lai held up two more wads of bills, and my jacket was off once more.
"If you win, you get double this money. And if I win…well, you know how it goes by now. Understand?" he said, and I nodded, slightly annoyed that he was taking charge. Usually I'm in control of the streets and the deals around here, but I decided to let him take the lead this once. With that much money involved, I'd do anything.
"Sure, whatever. Let's get on with it," I grinned, beginning to bounce on the balls of my feet.
At first Lai was unsure, and his eyes followed me up and down as I bounced, his body unfamiliar with a mobile opponent. Nearly laughing at his stupidity and inexperience, I lashed out with a lightning quick double front kick, and Lai's neck snapped backwards. He'd barely had enough time to react, and the idiot could only stumble backwards dumbly, blinking fiercely in an attempt to clear his vision. Smirking, I advanced mercilessly, fists raised, pivoted, and struck low, sweeping his legs out from underneath him. Next, I picked him up by the shirt collar and kicked him continuously in the gut, the neck, shoulders, chest, and finally, the good old family jewels. Lai cried out in pain, but refused to submit. He rushed me like a mad bull, his movements sloppy and stiff. Sidestepping with ease, I caught him under the chin with a sidekick.
"Heeyah!" I cried, switching to Hunting Hawk.
Lai spat out a mouthful of saliva and blood as he hit the ground, his face already beginning to turn black and blue with the bruises. A thin line of blood trickled down his mouth, and he glared up at me.
"Give up," I smirked, lowering my fists. I wasn't even sweating, and he'd been much too easy an opponent.
"Fuck you," he growled in response, advancing once more.
Smiling, I attacked again, my gang watching in silent awe. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Alexxi gazing at me in quiet fascination, her dark eyes following my every move. I loved to fight in front of her, wanted to show off just a little, and I flashed her a quick smile right before I sent a lethal roundhouse into Lai's neck.
It didn't take long for me to defeat him, maybe about two minutes. It'd been much too easy, a little boring as well, and I wiped my bloodied knuckles on my shirt. Lai lay sprawled on the ground on his stomach, his breath coming in shallow bursts, and his nose and mouth were bleeding profusely.
"Better luck next time," I said, trying not to laugh, "hand it over."
"We're not…done…yet…" he wheezed, attempting to lift himself up, yet his beaten body collapsed sluggishly to the ground.
I did laugh slightly then, slipping on my leather jacket. "Look man, just go home and clean yourself up, and don't come back 'till you're ready. Now, give me the money."
Lai motioned to his gang members, and I ran a hand through my hair as I approached them to claim my prize. I turned my back on the bastard, which would have been a fatal mistake had Alexxi not screamed.
"Hwoarang!"
Turning around, I spun away just in time to avoid Lai's knife, which would have embedded itself into the back of my neck had I not moved. Lai screamed as if he was a wild beast, his eyes crazed, and all I could see was the long knife in his hand, gleaming silver in the darkness. Circling around him, my eyes never left the weapon, and I parried each of his attacks, quickly darting away from reach. He was cheating, but it was too late now, and I had to find a way to disarm him.
Finally, when he swayed unsteadily backwards after he'd sloppily attempted to stab me, I lashed out with a roundhouse, sending the silver blade flying into the streets. However, I was too busy watching the weapon land, and failed to react when Lai suddenly tackled me to ground. My cheek grinding against the gravel of the road, fear gripped me as I heard a soft click and felt the cold press of metal against my temple.
"We're not finished, Myong Lee," Lai snarled, "got it? Rematch, or I'll blow your fucking brains out for all your friends to see."
I had it all planned out. I was going to grab his shirt, flip him over, disarm him like I did before—but I never got the chance.
But in the next second, with a scream, Lai was suddenly off of me, and I was able to roll out from under him. However, in horror, I noticed that Alexxi was now fighting Lai, her long knife unsheathed and slashing at my opponent. Lai had been disarmed, the gun nowhere to be seen, and I also noticed that his skin had been sliced several times, a large stab wound in his stomach bleeding profusely. Alexxi continued to advance with amazing speed, blue hair flying, body crouched low, blade in hand, gleaming in silver arcs as she slashed. She was beautiful, graceful as she moved, but after the initial awe came the fear.
"Alexxi, no!" I shrieked, but she ignored me.
"Don't you fucking touch him!" she screamed as she tore another hole in Lai's shoulder.
"Bitch!" he cried, and he struck her across the face. Had she been trained in martial arts, Alexxi could have easily blocked or avoided that blow. But she collapsed to the ground, her knife skittering across the asphalt, and I found myself rushing for the bastard.
The adrenaline surging in my veins, I mercilessly attacked my opponent, not pausing even when he lifted his arms in surrender. I didn't stop when he was a bloody pulp, nor when his gang members began to attack me as well, not even when Jinha and Taruga pulled me away. The only picture I saw was Lai striking Alexxi, sapphire hair flying as she hit the ground, and I would make him pay for what he'd done.
"Let go of me!" I screamed at my friends, then, to Lai, "I'll kill you for hurting her you piece of shit!"
"Hwoarang, stop it. You nearly killed him…I said stop it!" cried Arumee as Jinha and Taruga struggled to keep me in their grasp.
"The last thing you want is the cops on your ass for murder," rumbled Taruga, but I spat in his face.
"And what of Alexxi, huh? What if he'd killed her! You cowards didn't even help her!" I cried, fists clenching.
"Hwoarang, we tried! Besides, we were too busy fighting off the other gang," explained Byung, but I was still pissed.
Lai's gang picked up their defeated leader from off the ground and began to haul him away. But even in his bloodied state, he still managed one last message.
"You'll pay for this, Hwoarang!"
As they disappeared into the night, Jinha and Taruga finally released me, and I joined Arumee at Alexxi's side. She'd recovered quickly, and didn't look too bad really, but I hugged her fiercely anyway, nearly suffocating her in my embrace. I kissed her again and again until Alexxi pushed me away.
"Quit that; I'm fine."
"Are you sure? Is this your blood!"
"No, it's his. I stabbed him, remember?"
"You're so stupid! I had it all under control and then you had to—"
"He was going to shoot you, Hwoarang! I had to do something; I saw it first."
"To hell with that! I knew exactly what I was doing, and from now on you will not interfere with my fights."
"Not when your life is at stake, Hwoarang. I will not stand by and watch you get killed!"
"I'm not gonna get killed…"
"How do you know that, huh?"
We sat there glaring at one another, and after while, Alexxi finally threw her arms around me.
"I just don't want you to get hurt, that's all," I murmured into her hair, and she nodded.
"I'd never forgive myself if something were to happen to you, Alexxi, especially when I could have prevented it…"
Ah, so there you have it. Not the best, but oh well. Anyway, please review and constructive criticism/suggestions are always welcome.