A/N: At this point, I want to clarify that all of the characters in this fic are grown adults.
Other than that, I don't feel like adding anything more because I am afraid of you all wanting to kill me for putting Maki into this situation. I did mention the content of sensitive topics beforehand, whether you decide to proceed reading or not is up to you.
Music rec: Halsey - Gasoline
Chapter One
Nico should have known it would only be a matter of time until her reappearance would spread like a wildfire and with that, cause a lot of problems in addition.
Despite being famous to a decent grade, most of her fans were oversea ones due to her relocation in the past.
Of course, people would recognize her here as well, but barely anyone would dare to talk to her when they saw her passing the streets. She did not know whether it was because of the intimidating expression she had grown to carry on her features or not, and she did not care what it was that made it possible to cross a street without being interrupted in her thinking process all the time. She gladly appreciated her current situation.
She certainly wasn't afraid of fans recognizing her, she was afraid of meeting familiar faces again. In a way, she was afraid of possible reuniting encounters with people she had wanted to avoid purposely. Running into Nishikino Maki had been enough to swallow already, an especially bitter pill to swallow as well.
It was exceptionally odd, being back. Everything was different, yet familiar in a mystifying way. Nico felt like absorbing the sight of once so familiar places for the very first time, it felt like seeing the world with an entirely new perspective.
And still, there was something deep within her that made her identify bits and pieces of the vivid part of the city she used to live in. Tiny bits and pieces that brought up many memories.
Too many.
Painful ones, happy ones, tragic ones. A potion of emotions, maybe even a lethal one.
She would be lying if she said she had not missed the city she had spent half of her life living in. Childhood memories were crawling their way back into her mind as she walked past buildings with flashing advertisements attached on the outside; memories of a life that seemed to have vanished into pale and sallow fragments of something that had once been so precious to her.
Despite of it being late already, the streets were still crowded. A city as big as this one did not have curfew. This city was awake at all hours of the day and in a way, it added to the factor of comfort. To Nico at least. Knowing that the city she had spent half of her life living in was still the same, was still as busy as she had remembered it to be all the time she had been away.
The sound of crunching branches underneath each of her steps followed her as she continued walking, trying to remember which way to go in order to reach her destination, the memory of having walked the exact same way the night before as blurry as her childhood and teenage years memories.
Nico hated how everything seemed so familiar when on second look it wasn't. She hated how the feeling of familiarity would settle in her stomach each time she passed buildings and streets that she remembered passing by in the past as well because she knew, nothing had stayed the same.
And it was a shame. It was a shame that everything was changing due to influences, due to injustice, due to unavoidable matters.
She still had to fill out piles of paperwork regarding her several luxurious cars that still had to be transferred overseas, which resulted in her having to walk to her first official day at her new workplace. In spite of that factor, it wasn't an unpleasant occasion to her, in fact, it helped her getting adjusted to a life that seemed so familiar and yet, was so different from the one she used to lead.
Working in such a business was something Nico had never been keen on, yet she felt like she had to recover from the exhaustion of being a full time celebrity. She needed tranquillity, she needed peace, she needed relaxation. Desperately.
To be quite frank with herself, she had not been aware of the well-known red haired working there. She had figured she would run into her one day, it was unavoidable after all. But she had not expected for it to happen so fast and sudden. And still, she had put on a masquerade to cover up the suddenness and astonishment of that particular face popping back into her life that soon.
Despite her intentions of detaching herself from the world she used to live in, she had been drawn back into it, having to realize the heaviness of unfinished endings. The black haired had done lots of things she certainly was not proud of and she admitted, they were too many to even be counted.
Quickening her pace, Nico diverted into an alleyway, darkness swallowing her silhouette whole. A cold and chilly breeze greeted her almost instantly, underlining the frightening and tense feeling that ate its way up her chest. She coughed as frosty air filled her lungs, eyes darting for the red-wooden door to the establishment she had entered just last night for the very first time. In spite of it being late spring already, it was still surprisingly cold outside and it did not add to the factor of snugness in the slightest.
As soon as she spotted the door, she knocked. Twice. The moment she lifted her hand yet again, intending on knocking a third time, someone opened up.
"Can't you fucking creeps wait for one more hour, y'all know about the business h-" The woman standing in front of Nico paused her enraged speech in an instant, amber eyes widening in realization as they met ruby ones. She quickly glanced back inside before facing her again, eyes reflecting astonishment and – Apprehension?
"Nico? What are you doing here?" Her opposite almost whispered, hesitantly lifting her hand before letting it slide down almost instantly.
"Mind to let me in? I'll explain." Nico replied quietly, gesturing towards the inside of the building. The taller woman stepped aside, allowing Nico to enter – An action of hers Nico had not expected to be greeted with. At all.
The frown appearing on the other woman's beautifully shaped face did not go unnoticed, but Nico decided not to mention the concern she discovered in the expression of her opposite. The black haired could feel the questioning stare at her without having actually seen it, fully aware of the effect her reappearance had on everyone she used to know. She shrugged her coat off, hanging it onto the hooker as dimmed deep red lights greeted her inside. Her gaze drifted towards an enormous stage to her left side before averting itself to the bar opposed; quick glances, slight glimpses of familiarity from the day before. She turned around, facing the taller woman who was scrutinizing her, expression bewildered.
Nico hated to admit it, but her taller opposite had grown into a beautiful and fierce looking woman with an admirably striking body that accentuated her flawlessly shaped frame. But to be honest with herself, she had expected nothing less from the determined and yet so humble Sonoda Umi. Nico had known her since high school, just like Kotori, and she remembered her opposite having been part of an archery club as well as student council activities which ultimately had to result in such a remarkable appearance she was damned to face in that very moment.
"I work here." Nico said after a short silence of having inspected her opposite, the words leaving her mouth as heavy as the weight of a thousands tons. The other woman frowned at her response. Nico knew that wasn't much of an explanation, but spilling the truth was harder than covering it up. A sigh left her lips, "I thought Kotori would have told you." She said cloudy, returning the gaze of the taller woman who was now approaching the spot behind the bar's counter.
As soon as Nico mentioned the brown haired woman's name, she noticed her opposite wince. She raised an eyebrow, the shift of emotions whirling inside of the other woman surprising her.
"She didn't." Was the short reply, a mixed up expression of anticipation and a scowl greeting her soon after. The other woman propped her elbow on the counter, an awaiting glimmer in her amber eyes. Nico could not tell what her opposite was thinking; never had been able to.
"I'm not sure what you want me to say. I never mentioned leaving for good."
"You never mentioned leaving at all." The other woman interjected, voice delivering explicit judgement. Nico slowly took a seat on the same barstool she had been sitting on the night before, fumbling with the hem of her lacy red skirt before lowering voice, "It was too much. Too much pressure, too much guilt. I swear to god. It drove me insane. I felt like I had to come back to make things alright again."
She did not dare to look up, frightened of the frosty gaze she would meet. She knew well, Sonoda Umi was merciless and despite having known her for a long time, Nico had always wondered whether the earnest woman was even capable of showing human qualities such as compassion or empathy.
"You seemed pretty happy to me." Umi said, voice filled with bitterness, "I guess prominence comes with a price? The price of abandoning everyone who cared about you, perhaps?"
"How could I have ever looked any of you in the eyes again after what I did."
They fell silent the moment Nico finished her sentence.
Sonoda Umi might lack compassion, but even she knew there were certain things unspoken, one of them being the words the black haired just had forced out of her throat.
Nico dared to look up for a brief moment, registering the other woman being busy with sorting glasses into several black painted shelves, dimmed red lights shining upon her darkish blue hair from above. Nico watched her slender fingers trace each glass ware in a careful, steady motion before putting it into its assigned place, noticing the similarity to Kotori's movements from the day before.
"I want you to know," Umi turned around, fingers placed on the pitch black tie around her neck, "I don't appreciate you being around. You will only harm this business, I can tell."
She gestured towards the empty room, spacious and well-arranged. Luxurious and expansive furniture in red and velvety design decorated the large interior. Across from the bar, there was a huge, gigantic even, stage that sought for attention in any kind of way possible. The entire atmosphere seemed so voluptuously charged, it added special character to its apparent brilliancy.
"Is this your business?" Nico dared to ask.
Umi raised a perfectly shaped brow, "Do I look like I could buy the world?" She responded cynically, "I just work her as a part time job. As a bar keeper, of course."
"I see."
Nico wanted to ask why the taller woman seemed to need the extra money a part time job offered, but she remained silent in that regard, reminding herself of not being in the position to question her situation.
"Honestly, Nico." Umi added while inspecting the arrangement of alcoholic beverages beneath the counter, "I don't think this is the safest place for you to be around. Don't get the wrong impression, I am certainly not worried about your well-being. But I sure am about Eli's."
The black haired cringed at the mere mentioning of that certain name, feeling a shiver run down her spine.
"D-does she work here, too?" She managed to stutter, meeting glancing amber.
"Why else would I have told you." Umi reached below the counter, grabbing a fancy looking bottle of champagne and putting it next to a row of other neatly arranged bottles. Nico's eyes followed her movements, gaze kept on her ridiculously long shaped finger nails. Her lips seemed to move in a steady and elegant motion as she broke the silence that was encircling them yet again, "Let me get this clear, Yazawa. You work here. We work here, too. You do your job and you don't care about other people's business. Understood?"
"It's not like I want to-"
"And 'We' also includes Maki." Her opposite clarified blunt, voice coarse and harsh. A clear statement. It couldn't have been any clearer to express.
"Like I care about Nishikino." Nico was quick to respond despite having been interrupted before, settling her gaze onto the stage across from them. Avoiding the other woman's intimidating stare would be her best option if she wanted to put up a calm and collected facade.
"I hope I have made myself clear." The taller woman added and Nico swore, she could hear a pinch of threat in her voice. And it made her furious, yet she reminded herself to maintain calmness at all costs. An argument would only cause problems and it was pointless using up all her energy for it.
"I think you've heard me, Umi. I have no interest whatsoever in ruining the petty life of our little princess." She retorted sarcastically and as much as she had wanted the tone of her voice to sound stable, the irony in it seemed to be overflowing. Nico noticed the taller woman clenching her fists at her response and she bet, if the counter didn't separate them, she would have grabbed her by the collar for sure. Her brow was twitching in fury and as soon as Nico stared into glistening amber, the other woman's calm expression vanished, making room for an outrageous and utterly wrath one.
"Don't you dare to talk about her like that." Umi spoke slowly, gritting her teeth, "You think you are in the place to judge? Look at yourself." She paused briefly in her furious speech, a bitter laugh leaving her pink lips. "Crawling back into this world like you're still a part of it. You make me sick, Yazawa." She spat her words, loosening her tie as she spoke as if she was about to get into a fight with the smaller woman.
But Nico was not the person to sugar coat anything in this matter and she certainly was not afraid of stating her honest opinion, be it Sonoda Umi she was talking to. It didn't matter.
"That feeling's mutual." She replied assuring, "Kotori really knew what she was talking about when she said everything's changed." A chuckle formed its way upon her face, eyes twinkling before hopping off the barstool, "I'm gonna have to check on the lighting before rehearsing my performance in an hour." She gestured towards the enormous stage across from them, "You might want to clean up a little beforehand."
She paused shortly, pretending to be pensive for a few seconds, "Actually, don't bother cleaning up. This kind of business will always remain filthy, no matter how you look at it."
"Did you know she was back?"
"Had no idea. Until yesterday." Maki replied monotonously, adjusting the stockings hugging her thighs. Crimson curls fell onto her shoulders as she leaned forward, surrounding her for a brief moment.
Umi sighed, sitting herself on a bench across from Maki in the backstage dressing room. The red haired did not seem to be eager on deepening the conversation, instead, she stood up, getting rid of her shirt before tossing it onto the armchair she had been sitting on before. Her thin fingers opened up a wardrobe before propping themselves against her bare hip.
"How are you feeling?" The taller woman asked softly.
Still in her underwear, the crimson haired turned around in an instant, glaring at the older woman from the short distance. Her amethyst eyes were glimmering in fury at her words and it was in that moment, that Umi noticed how thin the younger woman had become. Her once striking frame had been replaced by a slim, worrisome skinny one, if not alarming. Her bones were practically visible and resembled sharp edges that seemed to force their way out of her flesh.
Umi frowned. Maki had always been especially thin and well-shaped, but it had never been to such a worrying extent.
"I'm fine. I know what you're implying. I'll choke you with my bare hands if you speak it out loud."
"I'm just worried."
"I am pretty sure you have other things to worry about. Don't you waste your time on me."
"You are not a waste of time." Umi's voice was serious and almost a yell. Her words echoed through the room even seconds after. Defeated, Maki sighed, crossing her arms and raising a brow, "Since when do you even care about someone who isn't Ayase?"
Umi bit her lip in concern, "That's another thing to worry about. You two sure are a lot of trouble." The red haired's expression turned into a pensive one at the other woman's response.
"I'm not sure how she'll take this midget being back." Maki spoke, turning around again to set her eyes onto the rack of clothes she had neglected in order to face her opposite. Fingers working their way through several different pieces, she picked a red and lacy one that complimented her hair perfectly. Stepping into it and adjusting the straps, she continued thinking out loud, "It's probably for the better if we don't tell her though."
She faced the taller woman yet again, taking a few steps towards her. Getting on her knees, she gestured towards the strap on her left shoulder, "Help me out here."
"I'm afraid that's not possible." Umi muttered grim, fingers working on the tangled strap, "She seems to be here for performing live shows. She's probably the entertainer our boss was looking for."
Maki swallowed the bitterness rising inside of her, almost yelling as she replied, "As if that fucking brat has anything entertaining to offer besides money and lies!"
Feeling a painful snap of her clothing's strap against her shoulder, she looked up into amber eyes reflecting amusement.
"Untangled." Umi interrupted her fury, twinkling mischievously.
"That wasn't gentle at all." Maki pouted, rubbing the spot on her bare shoulder with a slightly pained expression.
"You didn't tell me to be gentle."
Maki stood up, feeling accrued blood wander down her legs again. She greeted her reflection in the mirror next to the wardrobe, locking eyes with a woman she couldn't recognize anymore.
"You workin' the entire night?" Umi asked concerned, registering the vitriolic glare the crimson haired was scrutinizing herself in the mirror with.
"Yeah." Maki nodded absentminded.
"Can't you let somebody else take your shift after 3pm?" The blue haired woman frowned as she spoke, the concern and worries she felt tighten up her chest were indescribable. The red haired seemed to lack relaxation and sleep in every way possible.
The woman standing in front of the mirror, the fragile and vulnerable person next to her - It wasn't the confident and vivacious woman Umi had gotten to know years ago.
Out of all the changes she had witnessed happening around her, out of all the people she had witnessed change in all ways possible – Out of all those, Maki had been the one to change most drastically and, unfortunately, most tragically.
The red haired woman raised a brow, locking eyes with her opposite from behind the vitreous surface she was staring at. A sharp and piercing glimmer spread throughout her gaze, making her seem distant and cold as she replied, "I don't know, can I? How about asking my clients if I can?" She paused, averting her eyes, "How about you ask my unpaid rents and insurance bills if I can?"
Umi couldn't help but discover the hidden bitterness in her words. Keeping up a masquerade must have been tough on the red haired. Everything must be tough on her.
"Everything comes at its price, Umi." Maki continued speaking, covering the surface of the full-length mirror with a cloth before sitting herself next to the taller woman, "And I'm not going to lie, this job saves my ass each month. It might not be the most ethical one, believe me, I am aware of that." Her amethyst eyes were glistening as her words left pink, quivering lips. "Just as much as I am aware of the bad reputation it has on me. But honestly, can you blame me?"
She looked straight up into amber eyes, violet ones telling all of the worries the younger woman was afraid of speaking out loud.
"Can you blame me for wanting to lead a decent life?"
Could one blame her?
"I can't. And I won't. And I didn't ever." Umi replied determined, wrapping one arm around the smaller woman and tucking her into a half-hearted embrace, "I never once judged you for the way of getting trough all of this. I'm sorry if I gave you the impression of that."
Umi stroked the back of the red haired gently, feeling her chest tighten at the proximity. Maki had never been a person to appreciate vicinity, but the older woman figured it was her fragility that caused her to loosen her usual attitude. Caught up in the emotionality of the moment, both women startled in astonishment as someone rushed into the room, letting the door click shut with an immensely loud clash.
"Sorry, I'm late." The intruder apologized harried, getting rid of her coat and blouse in an instant. Maki freed herself from Umi's embrace, observing the woman who had just entered the changing room with a frowned expression, "Late? Thought you had the day off."
"Change of plans. Figured I could use the extra money." Their opposite alternated between looking at Umi and Maki, raising a brow in disbelief, "Did you two just hug? Whose birthday did I miss?"
The red haired felt herself flush, explaining herself quickly while waving with her hands to clarify a misunderstanding, "W-we didn't hug. Umi just showed me-"
"How to accept basic human traits such as the need of having someone to rely on?" Her opposite interjected, smirking amused while unfastening the belt enveloping her hips, getting rid of her jeans soon after.
"Fuck off, Ayase." Maki muttered, registering the soft laughter of the blonde woman as a response.
"You've got ten minutes though" Umi mentioned blunt, "So hurry up. I don't want another customer to yell at me because of your unpunctuality and sloppiness."
The blonde grabbed one of the white button-down shirts piled up in a shelf and put it on in a hasty motion, black pencil skirt and matching tie following. Her slender fingers ran through her bright and silky hair, tying it up in a swift movement before turning around.
"Make that five, Sonoda." She twinkled triumphantly, storing her bag into one of the lockers in the room.
"Eli?" Maki asked insecurely, briefly glancing at Umi who slightly shook her head, signalizing her not to tell what she was about to mention. Perhaps, it was for the better. But she would find out eventually, it would only be a matter of time.
"Hmm?" The blonde replied humming.
Maki hesitated for a few seconds, deciding on refraining from informing her about the current events.
Yazawa Nico wasn't a topic to just chat about.
"N-nothing." The red haired stuttered, "I was just surprised to see you chose a black tie instead of the usual blue one."
The blonde turned around, locking eyes with the younger woman. Maki met frosty, icy blue eyes that seemed to paralyze her by just returning their gaze, "I'm not in the mood for blue." She stated bluntly and the hostile tone of her voice felt like a slap in the face. Maki exchanged knowing looks with Umi, feeling a chill run down her spine. She nodded, refraining from adding anything further.
Not in the mood for blue.
Blowing the dust off the microphone Nico had found between several instruments and amplifiers, she watched it vanish in the flickering moon light shining upon the faint powder from outside. She had opened the small window in the storage room beforehand, having felt a little dizzy after her conversation with Umi.
"Just for how long did they lack live musicians…" she muttered grimly to herself, floorboards creaking underneath each of her steps. She struggled with the weight of a carton containing required wires for the adjustment of microphone and guitar. Putting it onto the floor, she sighed heavily, voice grave as she continued talking to herself. "Where do I even begin with this mess? Does anyone here even care about order and cleanliness in the slightest?"
"What else to expect from filthy human scum?" Nico turned around, greeting amethyst. Her relaxed attitude vanished instantly, making room for a sombre and sinister expression. "Can't you get on somebody else's nerves?" She mumbled huskily, not in the mood for another argument.
"Shouldn't you be done with all of this already? Got hold up?" The red haired sneered bittersweet, a scornful chuckle forming its way upon her face.
Nico scanned her entire appearance from the distance, dust particles still flowing in the air as her rubies inspected the scarlet haired wearing a lacy, deep red dress-like piece that hugged her striking body tightly. Her gaze wandered down towards the see-through fabric of the stockings around her legs up to her thighs, feet embedded in a pair of red and velvety high heels. Nico remembered the expansive looking furniture from the main room, noticing the perfect match almost instantly.
"Shouldn't you get going? There's still an hour left until I've got to go on stage for you lousy folks to perform." Nico noticed the red haired's brow twitch at her labelling, feeling her lips curve into a smug grin at the other woman's obvious reaction.
"I don't care what is that made you so bitter," Maki spoke hostile, "snd I don't even want to know. But you're just being pathetic."
"Who's being pathetic? I think you're confusing something here." Nico retorted, "I don't know about you, but I still remember your seventeen year old self dating clearly older men for money. And honestly," She paused, rubies darting the other woman leaning in the doorway once again, "judged by your appearance, I don't think dating is the proper term for your activities nowadays anymore."
Nico knew she had hit a sore spot and she knew the confirmation of her assumption would follow.
"Mind your own business, Yazawa." Maki struck back, crossing her arms in defence, "You're not in the position to demand reckoning." The black haired's chuckle increased, noticing the shift in the other woman's confident manners, the discomforting vibe she gave off by fumbling with the hem of her dress.
Actually, Nico was not even sure if the clothing that accentuated the scarlet haired's body so perfectly could even be referred to as a dress. The lacy fabric of it, the see-through texture – It was probably more of a lingerie than anything else.
Then again, what else would have been the case when it came to Nishikino Maki? Having expected her to change for the better had been an insanely stupid assumption of hers, she had to admit.
"You were the one to storm in like I fucking care about you being around." The smaller woman emphasized, each word of hers left her lips slowly and as gently as possible, driving the red haired insane fully purposely. "It's not like this could be referred to as a business though. Even I expected you to, I don't know, move onto classier preferences? What a foolish thought." She turned around again, signalizing the crimson haired that she wasn't interested in a deepening of their conversation.
Fumbling with the wires in the carton she had set onto the ground just moments ago, she untangled them in a swift motion of her thin fingers, not realizing the sudden proximity between her and the scarlet haired soon enough who had closed the distance between them. Lowering her body, the other woman shifted her position in order to be at eye level with the smaller woman. Nico could feel her hot breath against her neck, a sudden wave of heat tickling her sensitive skin.
Her own body disobeyed her intentions, turning around to face the red haired again.
Locking eyes with Nico, her opposite chuckled sweetly, running her slender fingers through a pitch black strand of the other woman's hair as she spoke, "I'm sensing bitterness in your words and I'm starting to believe it's because you wished you were the one to be sleeping with me so desperately."
Nico froze the moment the other woman had spoken her words, feeling paralyzed. Abandoning all of her current movements, the wires in her hands fell onto the floor, the collision with the wooden floorboards being the only noticeable sound in the heavy silence that spread through the room. Maki distanced herself from the black haired again. Crimson curls stroked the older woman's cheek for a brief moment. A moment that passed in an instant.
"Good luck for your performance." The younger woman added, turning around once again before leaving, "Not like I care."
The moment the door clicked shut behind her, Nico let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding, collecting the wires from the floor and plugging them into the microphone she had set up before the scarlet haired had interrupted her. Her fingers were shaking as she did so, though she could not tell why she was feeling so appalled by that encounter.
She did not know what Maki was thinking about her, and quite frankly, she did not care. If it helped her sleep at night, she could think whatever she wanted about her. Yet there was something deep within her, her heavily pounding heart, her ragged breathing that made her question her own sanity in that very moment.
Honestly, Nico had expected the other woman to work as everything but that.
Of course, she had known what kind of business she had gotten herself into, but to her, it had only been an option because of the well-paid offer as a live musician; certainly not for pleasing others in any other way than the enjoyment of her musical talent. She needed the luxury of being paid quite a good amount of money despite wanting to settle down when it came to her success in the world of celebrities.
If singing in a brothel business was what it took to be spoiled with such a luxury, then be it so. Then again, what might have caused the red haired to take such a job offer?
Nico wondered: Why didn't Maki take the job offer as a live musician? She knew well, the red haired was beyond talented when it came to singing and playing the piano. She could only assume the reasoning for it, but that would require her showing genuine interest in the taller woman. And that was something she would prefer to refrain from.
She shoved the thoughts aside, reminding herself to keep it together. She would only get in trouble if she started caring about her surroundings. Especially, if she started caring about Nishikino Maki.
It took at least twenty minutes to establish all of the requirements for tonight's performance and as soon as Nico stepped out of the room she had spent almost an hour in, she noticed the noisiness coming from the main room of the business, hitting her like a wave almost instantly.
She knew the business hours at her new workplace were quite strange arranged, the opening time being around 10 pm whereas the closing hours alternated between late morning and early afternoon. She did not question them nevertheless. She did not know the advantages and drawbacks one had to consider when choosing how to lead one's own business. Judging by the crowdedness she could discover from her position, it must be past ten already.
Struggling with carrying the amplifier for her guitar towards the stage, she absorbed bits and pieces of conversations as she walked along the hallway that eventually led her to said room.
Dipped into well-known red lights, everything had an intimate atmosphere despite the obvious lack of intimacy this entire industry had. Nico felt goose bumps cover her arms as she set her eyes on the crowded multiplicity of people; waitresses hovering around, serving drinks in a specified dining compartment, men sitting at the bar and fuddling themselves with high percentage beverages. The black haired shrugged at the mere sight, spotting Umi behind the bar who was laughing and chatting with customers as if she wasn't encircled by greedy hypocrites thinking they could buy everything with money.
Even love.
Her gaze remained on the crowd, searching for one familiar face in particular. She did not know why she was looking for her, she just did it out of an impulse. But despite of her flashing presence one would always recognize in a crowd, she could not find her.
And it made her wonder, what if Maki had lost her spark? Lost it along the way of her not being around?
She shook her head in an instant, not allowing herself to even give a second thought to it. Such a behavior would only imply her showing interest and concern which definitely wasn't the case. Maki could earn her living as a serial killer and she could not care less.
Nico fought her way through the crowd, bumping into several people and muttering apologizing words before finally reaching the steps to the stage. As soon as she had set a foot onto the radiant ground of it, she placed the magnifier onto its shiny surface, noticing curious stares.
Slow, voluptuous music was playing in the background already and Nico tensed at the intimidating bass solo that followed the melodic symphony of it. After plugging in all of the equipment, her fingers worked their way up to the microphone, tapping against its grid-like surface in order to create a high pitched tone spreading throughout the entire room, drawing the attention of the audience towards her.
The black haired took a seat on the chair that had been placed onto the stage, shouldering her guitar and adjusting it for a few seconds. The murmur encircling her did not go unnoticed to her sensitive ears, yet, she took her time for the perfect adjustment.
The moment she looked up from the instrument, ready to announce the reason for her presence, she met amethyst eyes.
Even form across the room, she could feel the vibrant aura of those violet orbs observing her. The scarlet haired was sitting on one of the luxurious looking velvety benches, the color of it blending in perfectly with the clothing accentuating her glorious body. She had crossed her legs and propped her chin onto the back of her tender hand, her gaze set on the stage that too was dipped in dimmed red light shining upon the smaller woman in that very moment.
Despite her revulsion of the sight, Nico noticed a man sitting next to her. She cringed at the proximity between them, scolding herself to mind her own business.
Averting her eyes from the piercing stare of the other woman, she forced herself to speak up, lowering the microphone in front of her lips, "I'll be quick with my introduction." She explained curtly, "Some of you might know me already, but for the ones who don't: I'm Yazawa Nico and I'm going to be around quite often from now on. You don't need to pay a lot of attention to me, just listen to the meaning behind my words." She clarified, fully aware of the effect she had on everyone around. The cold and distant tone of her voice was just the perfect way of expressing the reserved attitude she was striving to keep towards this industry.
She wasn't here to create matching melodies to their obviously crippling sex life.
She was here because of everything she had abandoned and everything that had been left unsaid.
Making sure the adjustments to her guitar were fitting by playing a few simple and basic chords, she decided to just sing freely. She had not been able to rehearse after all, so improvising would have to work.
Fretting the first chords of a well-known melody she used to play quite often overseas, she closed her eyes for a brief moment, remembering the words to a song she had written just a few months after leaving Japan. After detaching herself from the mess she had left behind.
The words left her lips without actually thinking about them, different colored pairs of eyes staring at her in astonishment, wondering how such a hostile and grave seeming person could sing words of such heaviness and worry.
She avoided looking into amethyst eyes on purpose, focusing on playing the right chords and not slipping in her movements although she knew deep within, it was impossible. She finished off with the last verse, and she did not know why, but she felt something hot and wet run down her left cheek in that very moment, leaving a trail of bitter and salty liquidness behind.
As soon as her fingers ran down the open strings of her guitar for the last time, clapping seemed to swallow her whole, encircled her in the blink of an eye. Nico felt the heaviness on her shoulders vanish, the little moment of joy and the slight sign of appreciation overwhelming her. But said moment passed way too soon, being an appearance of temporarily matter only.
It was dead silent again when words cut through the air, sharp like knives, cutting into the black haired's flesh even from the distance. It felt like falling into abyss with a mess of shards on its ground.
And Nico knew, those words had the meaning of enormous contempt in them, despising and furious.
"I'm going to slice her up open, don't you worry!" Someone yelled enraged and as soon as Nico realized what was happening around her, it happened already. A blonde, tall woman stormed towards the stage. Her pace was quick and reckless, her expression filled with hatred.
Several stares followed her actions, nobody dared to say a word after the heaviness of the blonde's assertion seemed to hang in the air like an unspoken curse that left everyone around her to stay silent for their own good.
Nico was sure of it, her frosty blue eyes contained an amount of anger barely anyone would be capable of carrying in oneself.
Everyone was staring at her, murmuring and questioning the taller woman's sanity as she walked up the stairs in a hasty motion, each step enormously clamorous and uproarious before grabbing the smaller woman by her collar, causing the fabric to wrinkle due to her harsh grasp. "What the fuck do you think you're doing here?" She spat, and the black haired felt the grip around the texture of her dress tighten, fists obviously clenching, "Don't you think you've damaged enough people already? Don't you think you've done enough to push us into misery?"
Her words were too loud to be this close and as much as Nico wanted to close her eyes, to shut off everything that was happening around her despite it involving her, she could not dare to act ignorant. Not if she was facing Eli.
She owed her.
The black haired could not react. She did not know how to. She did not know how to find fitting words. Nothing would comfort the outraged blonde to a satisfying extent. Ever. She remained silent, returning the gaze of icy sapphires, and she swore, it made her blonde opposite even angrier. The piercing expression she had on her usually soft features sent shivers down her spine.
Just how much did everyone change? And just how much was her fault?
"Eli, that's enough!" Another familiar voice shouted, slowly walking up to them, a fierce, yet just as scornful expression on her face.
"Shut your mouth, Sonoda! It won't ever be enough for this filthy bitch!" The blonde continued despising the black haired in the most humiliating way possible; in front of everyone,
In front of Nishikino Maki.
Her grip tightened even more, leaving Nico to wonder if she would choke her right in front of so many people. She knew the other woman was capable of such an action. She had made her capable of such an action. She did not dare to avert her eyes due to the intimidating vibe her opposite gave off, but she wanted to know so badly what the red haired was doing right now.
Enjoying the sight of her getting what she deserved?
"It's enough." Words repeated, more closely to her, softer than before. Nico had not realized the dark haired woman approaching them despite it being the obvious thing to happen. Everything was getting blurry and the ground underneath her seemed to shake and swallow her whole.
Soft palms touched her neck and then continued to wrap around clenched fists grabbing onto her collar, removing them in a soft and tender manner. "Not here." Umi whispered softly towards the blonde whose expression remained the same and Nico bet, her opposite would have loved to beat her up in that very moment, her ghastly expression informing her about that fact explicitly.
Wrapping an arm around the shoulders of the blonde, Umi accompanied her down the stage into the hallway that would lead her to the department for workers only, darkness swallowing them soon after.
Nico averted her eyes in the moment both women had trailed off her own, and everyone else's sight, looking for Maki. But she wasn't there anymore, the spot she had been watching her from on was empty. Only wrinkled, velvety cushions revealed that she had been sitting on it before.
The black haired frowned, clearing her throat before continuing as collected and calm as possible, "I am sorry for the inconvenience." She apologized coarsely, fretting the chords to another song already.
"Eli, calm down!"
"Let go of me! I am calm!" The blonde freed herself from the tight and unsurprisingly harsh grip the other woman had on her, "I am calm! See!"
Exhaling deeply, she tried to remain as calm as her colleague wanted her to be, suppressing the urge to just storm right back into the upheaval she had just created. Umi closed the door behind them only for it to be opened again, a well-known red haired entering the room.
"What the fuck was that, Eli? Have you lost your mind?!" She immediately grouched, crossing her arms as soon as the door shut behind her. Her words echoed through the room, black painted walls absorbing the inclement and hostile sound of her raspy voice.
"Yeah. Go ahead and defend her. Didn't expect anything else from you." Eli retorted sinister, practically spitting her words in front of the younger woman who was scowling at her in fury.
"You really think I, out of all the people, would defend her?" The red haired hissed, sitting herself onto an armchair in the private worker's lounge they had entered. She lowered her voice, dipping the harshness of her words in a concerned embedding, "I am worried about your reputation. If your reputation suffers, so does Umi's and so does mine. And so does the reputation of this entire business."
"Like I care about your reputation, Nishikino!" The blonde snapped furiously, brow twitching in anger.
"You should! I can't afford loosing this job and so can't Umi! You might be able to eat that up well, but we certainly can't. So stop being so self-centered and give your spontaneous aggravations some thoughts!"
"Fuck off, Maki! I am allowed to be selfish in this matter and you know it! You can be a prostitute everywhere!"
Words as sharp as knives.
"What did you just say?" Maki said slowly, despite the obvious anger that arose inside of her at the blonde's words. Her hands where shaking as she spoke, standing up from her seat in a slow manner to be at eye level with her opposite.
Umi quickly decided to meddle in their argument before the situation would get out of hand. She pushed Maki, who had stood up in order to face her opposite properly, softly back into her seat, registering her complaints, but ignoring them completely.
"Stop fighting about futile matters. This is going nowhere if you keep it up like that."
"Didn't you hear what she just said?" Maki interjected quickly, voice bitter and vitriolic, "Didn't you hear the patronizing tone of her voice? As if she's any better because she's just a waitress. Service is service. In the end, she still provides a service like I do." She alternated between looking at Umi and Eli, ending up at keeping her gaze on the blonde, "You are nowhere better. And you have no right to judge me after all the things you've done."
"Eli." Umi scolded before the latter could reply, glaring at the blonde who was crossing her arms in defence, "Apologize."
"Like hell. Nishikino knows exactly I've spilled the truth." She hissed, pointing towards the red haired, "You make me sick. Tolerating this brat being around after all she has done."
"I don't-" Maki was quick to react, but Umi interrupted her.
"She doesn't. We don't. If you had listened to us, you would have realized." She sighed, "Now apologize to her and we'll talk this through."
Eli hesitated for a few moments before sighing annoyed and approaching the scarlet haired, sitting herself onto the armrest of the chair the other woman was sitting on. "I didn't mean it like that. You got the wrong impression. I was just saying that all of us," She gestured towards her and her opposite, before including Umi, "could easily replace each job of ours. I wasn't implying-"
"It's fine." Maki shut her off, voice still distant and cold as to having been hurt nevertheless.
"No, it's not. I'm sorry, Maki." Eli apologized, squeezing the bare thigh of the other woman lovingly, "I just lost my temper."
"You always do." Maki muttered half-heartedly, "Just stop touching me and we'll let it slide."
Maki had never appreciated proximity. The proximity she had to provide for her living was not comparable to the proximity other - normal - people desired. There were no affection, no emotions, no feelings involved. Proximity was a bother. The closeness to other human beings would only end up spelling doom for her.
The blonde withdrew her hand and averted her eyes from Maki in order to look at Umi standing in front of them, "And now? What are we going to do?"
"Nothing. You are going to do nothing. You've done enough already." Umi clarified, expression grim, "Just bear with her. She might lose interest."
"Tch. As if. She's never gonna lose interest in ruining my life." She paused curtly, "Our. Our lives."
Maki raised a brow, exchanging glances with Umi, "What makes you think it's only your life that's affected? Look at us. Working here. Never thought I'd add that to my resume."
"It was just a slip of the tongue."
"No, it certainly wasn't. Stop lying." The red haired muttered fiercely, "You think you're the poor and pitiful little woman that will never learn how to be happy again. And it's you. Only you and nobody else. But you're wrong, Eli."
She stood up, legs shaking as she continued talking, "Did you know that I haven't even found the time to shower last days? Because I've been working my ass off. Now that's filthy, isn't it? Someone with a job like this lacking time for a simple shower? Lacking time to even think about what's going to happen next in their life?" She paused, closing her amethyst eyes for a short moment, "But you're right. It's only you suffering. Poor Eli."
The red haired walked towards the door, yanking it open in a precipitate and rash manner, "Now if you'll excuse me, I don't have the time to chit-chat about your childish plans of revenge. The faster you learn to accept the way things are, the faster you'll come to the realization that you're not the only one hurting."
Her words hung in the air, heavy and bitter, leaving a faint trail of anguish behind. The door clicked shut behind her crimson curls that waved due to her quickening pace, the creaking sound of high heels meeting floorboards trailed off the other women's perception in only a few seconds.
Umi darted a glance at the older woman remaining in the room, "You know she's not in her best state."
Eli sighed, crossing her legs on the armrest she was sitting on, missing the warmth of the younger woman who had been sitting next to her just a couple of seconds ago. She knew, she had strained the other woman's capacity of incorporating any more anguish than she herself had already been struggling to deal with and she knew she had been too insensitive and selfish in that matter.
But when it came to Yazawa Nico, she could not control her emotions and she certainly couldn't ever forgive and forget.
"She seemed pretty tense to me today anyway. Does it have to do-"
"With Yazawa?" Umi interjected blunt, "Of course it does. Honestly, I don't even know what caused her to move back into the city. She has enough money and she achieved success overseas. She could have been just fine away from us. Far away from us."
"I'm worried about Maki. I'm sensing trouble." The blonde smoothened her black tie, flicking the tip of the silky texture between her pointer and middle finger.
"She hasn't been herself lately anyway." Umi admitted with a downcast expression before sighing heavily, "It's no use guessing. We will see what's going to happen next. And judging from the current events, I'm predicting you're in trouble."
Eli sunk lower in her seat at the other woman's words, conscious of the consequences her actions would have, "You don't have to tell our boss?" She asked, an unspoken plea hidden in her voice.
"I'm not going to mention anything. But I'm not the only person around. You should have at least threatened her in private."
Shaking off the oddly strange feeling of being watched, Nico packed up the equipment she had arranged earlier in order to put it back into the storage room she had found them in.
It was four in the morning and the black haired could neither spot Umi in the remaining crowdedness nor Eli. And it was a relief. She had known from the beginning, nobody would appreciate her being around for good. But she had to adjust herself to the hatred she would receive from now on and she would have to steel herself for it.
It was fine by her. She did not want to bond with her former friends again either. The feeling was mutual.
She felt revulsion rise inside of her at the notice of so many people still lingering around. She bet ninety percent of all present people were beyond wasted already. She shrugged at the thoughts, reminding herself to hurry. Sleep was just what she needed right now.
Back in the storage room, she put everything back into its assigned place, wiping the sweat off her forehead soon after. Having performed in the glaring and dimmed light for several hours had used up all her stamina for today. Of course, she was used to it. But considering the past occurred events, her exhaustion was reasonable. To her, at least.
"I don't know what it is that makes you so eager on working here, but do you really think it's the safest bet regarding your own well-being?"
Recognizing the melodic and earnest voice in an instant, Nico turned around, feeling the familiarity of her situation overly explicit. Except that it wasn't the red haired talking. And she was glad it wasn't.
She was probably occupied somewhere else.
The taller woman took a few steps forward, observing Nico with a blank expression. "I'm not concerned about you though. But you have seen the trouble you are causing amongst us."
Nico gritted her teeth, "I'm not responsible for Eli's aggravation problems." She immediately wished she had not spoken those words.
"You surely are responsible." Umi laughed bitterly and Nico hated herself for being torn in such a situation, for having to prove herself each time she faced a familiar face. "I'm not sure what it is that you are desiring. And I'm not interested in getting to know your motives either, as I clarified before. But I hope you are aware of the impact you have on my friends."
Nico flinched at the emphasis the other woman put on Eli and Maki being her friends, feeling her heart clench inside of her chest, "And if you dare to hurt them in any way possible again, I'll make sure you won't even risk coming back a second time."
"Uh, you almost got me hopping back onto a plane. Almost." The black haired retorted, feeling a chill run down her spine at the intimidating aura encircling them. Despite her complacency, she knew well she was walking on thin ice. Each action of hers could cause damage at this point.
"You surely have some guts to be this confident. We will see how that's going to look like in a few weeks." The younger woman turned her back towards the black haired, stopping just next to the doorway as she noticed Nico daring to reply, "Are you seriously threatening me right now? Sonoda Umi, the justice activist, is threatening me?"
Umi turned her head to the side, glaring at the other woman from the corner of her eyes, amber flickering like fire as she spoke, "I am not the person you used to know." She averted her eyes and Nico bet she discovered a faint hint of regret in her voice as she continued retorting, "And I'm certainly not the one to stand up for justice anymore."