Chapter 2

Jennifer spent her day off cleaning her room and setting things up for Laura who'd be arriving with the Daedalus tomorrow night. Over the past few years the spunky Lieutenant had become her best friend and chose to bunk with her when on Atlantis. With their conflicting schedules girl time was hard to find plus Jennifer really enjoyed having her around.

Finishing up with fresh towels in the bathroom she made herself another cup of tea while shooting off a quick email to her dad. Once she'd completed all her chores she sat and thought back over the past months quickly drifting into thoughts of Ronon.

He was everything she'd ever wanted in a man … caring, loyal, sincere and extremely protective not to mention sexy – an added bonus to her mental image of the perfect man. So, why is he interested in me? she kept asking herself. They'd exchanged personal information during their time together locked in the infirmary… almost had an intimate moment before the doors suddenly opened. After that their relationship seemed rather forced and awkward for a while finally settling into friendship more than romance. So, why now? When she compared herself with the other "beautiful" people on base she fell really short … at least in her own eyes. "I can't cook, definitely can't fight my way out of a paper bag and I'm not the most beautiful woman on Atlantis by a long shot … so why me?" she quietly whispered out loud.

Regardless of his reasons, she was walking on cloud nine and wanted nothing more than to make this feeling permanent. Glancing at the clock she realized the dinner hour was just about over and decided to make the journey to the mess hall after hearing her stomach growl. She slipped her shoes on just as her door chimed.

"Hi," she greeted, "you just caught me."

"Did you want to get something to eat?" Ronon asked.

"You read my mind," she answered, smiling. Walking the short distance to the transporter in silence she could tell he was preoccupied. She hoped he'd confide in her over dinner.

They shared a rather quiet meal with Ronon answering the few questions Jennifer could think of. Still he remained behind his wall of introspection offering nothing.

"Hey … are you okay? You seem quiet tonight," Jen asked after finishing her meal.

Ronon looked up with a slight grin, "I'm usually quiet," he teased.

"Touché."

"Huh?" he asked, unfamiliar with the term.

"It means you're right but… you seem more quiet than normal," she said chuckling knowing it still sounded like a silly description for her dinner date. "Anything I can help with?"

"Are you done?" he asked hoping to move this conversation to a more private setting.

"Ahhh … sure … unless you want my cookie?" she stammered, worried his mood might have something to do with her.

"Let's go for a walk."

Jennifer felt her heart pound as they stood … something was wrong. Fear began to tighten around her heart causing her to stumble slightly as they exited the mess hall.

Ronon reached down and took her hand, lacing their fingers together. He never should have let this challenge with Rodney go this far. What he perceived as an innocent game to wile away the boredom was turning into something else. He'd tired of the game and was now afraid of losing Jennifer's friendship. Hopefully it wasn't too late and she'd be a good sport he hoped as they made their way down the hall toward the transporter and the privacy of the East Pier balcony.

Jennifer didn't know if she should be hopeful or fearful. She loved the feeling of their hands bound together as they navigated the corridors … it felt right. Unfortunately, she felt a cloud of doom descend upon them and wondered if it would crush her world.

Walking onto the balcony Ronon led her to the far side pulling two chairs together so they were facing each other. He wanted to look into her eyes as he confessed his thoughtless game … hoping it wasn't played at her expense.

Sitting face-to-face Ronon reached over taking her hands as he tried to formulate the right words in his mind.

"That bad huh?" she laughed nervously. "Is it something I've done?" she whispered fearfully.

At her question, he rapidly raised his head to assure her it was nothing she'd done. "No … it's … I've … I'm sorry," he growled, having trouble getting started. "I've been playing a stupid game … needed to talk to you about it a long time ago."

"I don't understand … you'll have to give me a bit more information."

"McKay has a crush on you," he started only to be cut off by one bewildered doctor.

"What! How do you know?"

"When we got back from M33-985 he came and told me."

"Why would he do that?" she asked, confused.

"He thought I had romantic feelings for you too … wanted to know the score," he answered using some phrasing he'd picked up from the military. "See this is where it got out of hand … I was sort of bored and thought I'd have some fun with him … told him I was interested too. Just wanted to get a rise out of him but he took it seriously."

"Oh," she whispered, slowly pulling her hands back into her lap. All this time she thought Ronon was interested in her, cared about her, but it was just a game. "Wow, I don't know what to say," she declared, awkwardly.

"Do you like him?"

"NO! We're just friends but I don't want to hurt him," she grimaced.

"Doc, I'm really sorry. I meant to come to you right away and ask if you'd help me tease McKay for a little while but now I realize it was a dumb thing to do."

"Ya think!" she barked sarcastically. "It makes more sense," she mumbled under her breath.

"How do ya mean?"

"I'm definitely not someone you'd normally want to be with," she started, standing to put some space between them. Walking over to the railing she did her best to hold back the tears unable to look him in the face. "This is such a mess," she declared with a hitch in her voice.

"Jennifer, look … I'm not good with the whole dating thing," he rambled, trying to make her feel better.

"At least we have one thing in common," she sneered.

"I never meant to hurt you … it's not you Doc, it's m…," he frowned as she cut him off mid sentence.

"Don't say it … I've heard that line my whole life and I'm sick of it. Of course it's you! You started this ridiculous "game" … how could it be anyone else's fault?" she snapped.

Moving over to put a comforting hand on her shoulder he pulled back when she turned on him angrily.

"Why didn't you tell me what you were doing? I feel like such an idiot."

"I'm sorry … McKay caught me off guard," he tried to explain.

"What … the thought of someone being interested in me was shocking?"

"No … that's not what I meant … I'm sure lots of men are interested in you," he added hoping to smooth things over.

Just not you, she thought to herself as the tears found their way to her chin.

"Hey … come here," he coaxed trying to pull her into his arms. "Please."

Unable to deny him, Jennifer surrendered to his request and let herself be pulled into his arms. The silent tears continued to fall as reality began to sink in … he wasn't interested in her, the last few months of bliss were all tied to a moment of boredom. She wasn't sure she'd ever get over the humiliation. "It's been a long day. I think I'll head to my room," she announced pulling away.

"I'll walk you."

"No thank you … it's not necessary … I'll be fine," she insisted, wanting to be alone.

"I'll fix this Jennifer … I promise."

"There's nothing you can do to fix this," she whispered once she'd reached the door.

~OOO~

Jennifer kept busy in the infirmary all day preparing for the arrival of the Daedalus later in the afternoon. If all went well, she'd be able to leave on schedule turning the processing of new recruits over to Dr. Cole. As tempting as it was to avoid Lieutenant Cadman's arrival by scheduling herself for the late shift, she knew Laura would position herself in the infirmary and glare at her until her shift was over … only postponing the "girl talk" until later in the night. Jen was still reeling from Ronon's confession and didn't want to explain it to anyone but Laura would insist on knowing what was wrong. At least she'd be a sympathetic ear and a shoulder to cry on.

The friends met in the mess hall for dinner after Laura had finished her shift. Over noodles and 'mystery' meat they chatted about news from home and the happenings on Atlantis. Afterwards they retired to Jen's quarters and watched the first of several chick flicks Laura had brought from her private collection. After the first movie Jennifer changed into lounge pants and a tank top before plopping down on the bed with a heavy sigh.

"Okay, what gives?" Laura demanded

"What? What do you mean?"

"Something's going on with you … time to spill your guts," she ordered.

"Nothing's going on," Jen insisted. "Absolutely nothing's going on," she mumbled sarcastically.

"Look, last time I was here you were all atwitter and refused to share. Now you're down in the mullygrubs so … what gives and who do I need to knock down a notch or two?"

"Yeah, like that's gonna happen," she snorted. "This is one time you may have met your match although I appreciate your desire to defend my honor," she said, grateful for her protective instincts. Knowing she wouldn't get away with keeping the whole mess to herself, Jen proceeded to explain the "challenge" and it's repercussions to her best friend hoping she might have some sage advice.

The girls talked well into the night mulling over the past months and everything that'd happened. Laura tried to find some moment Jennifer might have overlooked when she could have seen the situation for what it was but came up empty. Ronon had grossly misled Jen and now her best friend was paying the price for it.

"Well…looks like you've been taken over by "Ever After" envy," Laura announced.

"By what?"

"You know … girl loves boy, boy wants girl, all's right with the world and they all lived happily ever after!"

"Are you saying it's not possible?"

"No … but harder to find than in the movies. What are you planning on doing?"

"Not a whole lot I can do. I think it'll just be a bigger mess if he tries to fix it… I'll deal with Rodney myself if the occasion arises… lately he hasn't invited me to much of anything so maybe he's moved on," she sighed sadly.

"I agree… but with one condition … I think he owes you a kiss."

"WHAT! I can't believe you just suggested that," Jen gasped.

"Look, at the very least he owes you that," Laura insisted.

"Why would I want to kiss him if he doesn't even care about me like that," she asked incredulously.

"This has nothing to do with him," she began to explain, pacing around the room. She took a moment to figure out some kind of comparison to illustrate her thinking. "It's like a giant bowl of dark chocolate bonbons sitting just out of reach. They're perfect in shape with white chocolate drizzled over the top."

"You know those are my favorites … why are you torturing me … this isn't making me feel any better," Jen groaned.

"Exactly my point … they look perfect … melt in your mouth little morsels of heaven. You know that first bite will instantly hit your blood stream sending the pleasure all through your body before you can even take the next bite."

"Okay … this is not helping, now I need chocolate!"

"But … what if that first bite tastes like crap! What if they forgot to put the sugar in the batch or… better yet, what if they were all filled with maple nut centers?" she asked, knowing Jennifer hated that flavor. "They wouldn't look so yummy then would they?"

"Where is this going?"

"I'm just saying … I think the "Bonbon" owes you a kiss before you let him off the hook."

Jennifer let Laura's words roll around in her brain for a few minutes before smirking. "Okay, I get it. But I sincerely care about him now and we've never even kissed so how could that possibly be a deal breaker?"

"Remember Lieutenant Billy Johnson back at the SGC … you thought he was the cat's meow until he cornered you in the infirmary and tried to swallow you when no one was looking."

"I thought we agreed to never mention his name again," she growled as an involuntary shutter swept through her body, "I think I needed a towel to wipe my face off after that encounter. Where do men learn that kind of technique?"

"I rest my case and repeat … he owes you a kiss before squirming out of the mess he made."

Jennifer stood thinking about all the things Laura had said. Oddly enough, she found some merit to her words. What if she'd carried a torch for Ronon the past couple years for something that didn't exist … something only she'd fashioned in her mind. She purposed to give Laura's words some consideration before finding some ridiculous reason to blame everything on herself.

"Thank you," she whispered as Laura reached in to hug her soundly. As the two friends embraced her door chimed announcing an end to their discussion. Jen wiped her eyes and took a deep breath before opening the door knowing it would be Ronon on the other side.

"Hey … can we talk?" he asked.

"Sure … why don't we go for a walk," she suggested. Moving into the room she put on her shoes and gave Laura a hug before slipping out the door.

After catching a glimpse of Lieutenant Cadman, Ronon was glad to be going for a walk instead of being invited in. As they started off down the corridor toward the transporter he could tell she'd been crying and knew it was probably his fault. Feeling guilty for the hurt he'd caused he slipped his hand around her's and intertwined their fingers hoping to bring some kind of comfort never realizing the intimate act was just making things worse.

Leaving the confines of the city they walked out to the end of the pier and sat together looking out over the water. Jennifer sat quietly giving him time to collect his thoughts. Showing up at such a late hour at her door left her feeling that something was bothering him. She knew he'd get around to it eventually.

"How've you been?" he finally asked.

"You don't need to worry about me … I'm doing okay," she said feeling very vulnerable.

"I wanted you to know I haven't forgotten my promise. I'm still figuring out how to let Rodney know I'm not interested in you without pushing him at you."

"I've been thinking about that too. I've decided to let you off the hook," she smirked. "I think you should just go about your business and I'll deal with Rodney if he continues to pursue a relationship."

"I don't want to dump this on you … I said I'd fix it and I meant it," he answered, sincerely.

"Ronon, I know you didn't mean for any of this to happen and, quite frankly, I believe you've learned your lesson," she chuckled. "I don't mind dealing with Rodney if he seems to be getting serious. Maybe you should just let him know you have no intentions toward me anymore. Then you'll be off the hook."

She was having a hard time emotionally and just wanted to go back to her quarters and have a good cry before going to sleep. She needed some space from him … time apart so she could start to heal if that was even possible.

"Please, Ronon, let's put this behind us and start over."

"Sounds good," he agreed. "You look cold … I think we should head back." He stood and helped her up, turning back toward the city. "Thanks Doc, I owe you."

They slowly made their way to the transporter talking about the new recruits and Sheppard's mission scheduled for the morning. Before long they were standing outside her door as Ronon once again offered an apology for his careless acts.

Suddenly her conversation with Laura came flooding back. Summoning all the courage she could muster, she decided to take a giant leap, "Tell you what … all is forgiven but I have one request before we never talk about it again."

"Anything," he replied, turning to face her.

"I want a goodbye kiss," she stated, thankful for the dim lighting in the corridor hoping it helped hide the blush creeping up her face.

"A kiss?"

"Yes, a kiss … is that a deal breaker?" she asked, offended by his response.

"No … uh … sure," he stammered.

Hesitating just a moment, he leaned down and softly placed his lips over her's gently kissing her goodnight. Lingering a little longer than he'd planned he broke the kiss and began to pull away before changing his mind and moving in to kiss her properly.

Jennifer forgot about everything except the breathtaking sensations she felt from his chase touch. She'd just begun to savor the experience when she felt his lips again, more demanding and insistent than before. Placing her hands on his chest for balance, she rose on tiptoes to answer his urgency, giving as much as she got.

Reluctantly, Ronon finally pulled away, all too aware of the unexpected electricity that coursed between the two of them. He opened his eyes and stared at his prey in amazement. It was as if a light had been turned on shining on her face … her very beautiful face.

Jennifer found it impossible to swallow the growl that escaped her lips when he pulled back. She wanted the kiss to last longer especially since it'd be the only one she'd ever experience from her "friend". She was so sure it'd be far less than what she'd fantasized over the years and the shock was evident on her face … it was so much more.

The two remained staring at each other with stunned expressions for several moments before Jennifer cleared her throat and whispered "goodnight" as her door slid open. She was inside leaning back against the closed door before Ronon had a chance to wipe the bewildered look off his face.

He braced himself against the doorframe and hung his head in confusion … maybe he did have intentions after all. Shaking his head and growling he determined to chase any such thoughts away. He'd tried casually dating a few of the women on base and they'd all turned out to be disastrous … he didn't plan on going down that road again, not even with the beautiful young doctor.