Part 2
Lindsey was lying a few feet away from the door, with her back turned to it. Rachel's words resonated within her chest. She couldn't connect to them properly, but they moved something inside her. For the past hours, or was it just minutes, nothing had moved. She had just felt numb. Exactly as she wanted to. She didn't want to feel any more. But Miss Mason's words made her feel something. It was the tiniest sparkle of something she hadn't felt in a while. It was yearning. Lindsey wasn't ready to feel again. So she closed her eyes.
Rachel didn't know what to do next. Not the faintest response had followed her words. Had Lindsey even heard her? Was she conscious? Had she done harm to herself in spite of her promise to her mum? Rachel felt a sudden urge to break down the door she was leaning against. But she knew deep down that she had to trust Lindsey. Breaking the door down, the wall Lindsey had built between herself and the world, was an act of violence. Since the day of the trial, when Lindsey had asked her what to do and had followed her advice, Rachel knew that she was trusting her. She didn't want to lose that trust. So she remained silent, leaning her head back against the door.
Seconds, minutes or hours, she didn't know or care, passed. Lindsey drifted away again. She wanted so much to escape. To hide, the way she hadn't been able to when she was with her dad. But her mind did not stay blank. Dark shapes started surrounding her. She felt their hands reaching for her, big, man's hands… Lindsey's muscles contracted and she let out the faintest cry of desperation. Her mind wasn't safe.
Rachel thoughts were suddenly interrupted when she heard the hardly audible, high-pitched wail behind the door. It wasn't a scream, nor a proper cry. But it echoed of pain and fear. Her heart ached.
"Lindsey."
"Don't be afraid. I'm here with you. You're not alone."
Those were just words. Stupid, meaningless words that had been said and not meant too many times. But Rachel meant it. All she could do was hope that Lindsey was able to believe that.
She wondered where Marion was. She knew it wasn't for the lack of love that she wasn't here with her in front of the door. She knew Marion loved her children with all her heart. But she was trapped in this twisted family history and her own pain made her unable to move, as if she was stuck in a puddle of tar.
Rachel on the other hand was an outsider. She was able to see things more clearly, and although she knew that she had gotten involved a great deal with the fortune of this family, and that Lindsey mattered to her, although she didn't want to admit it, almost like a daughter, she had the necessary distance to help. If only she knew how. She hoped that her mere presence helped, if anything.