Cross posted from my dA account.

Hotch/Reid slash. Fan-fic

WARNINGS: I really mean these. M/M slash. M-prg; abortion; castration. Seriously warped.

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"Dr. Reid, are you sure you want to do this."

Spencer looked genuinely puzzled. "Want" wasn't exactly the word he would have chosen.

"Yes." His voice squeaked.

Spencer Reid was one of the strongest; strike that, the strongest, person Aaron Hotchner knew. All Aaron could do for Spencer right now was pretend his heart wasn't breaking.

"You understand there might be complications."

"Yes." replied Spencer, again, his voice still unsteady. Then he proceeded to list everything from allergic reactions to the local anesthesia, to hernias related to the orchiectomy itself, to psychological, and even psychiatric effects, which he was reasonably sure he would to some extent suffer from, to bleeding out.

Aaron refrained from stopping him. He stood beside Spencer in the prep room. If the doctor had to tell him again that they might lose their baby Aaron thought he might hit the man, whichever one it was. Aaron found himself wishing that Spencer had a gun to his head, at least that way he could talk himself to safety, or Aaron could shoot someone—which sounded like a plan just right now. Spencer didn't show fear easily, but he was looking to Aaron for reassurance. "I'll make sure they do everything they can for her."

"Even if…"

Aaron turned away. He couldn't think that. Someone sometime had told he what would happen if Spencer went into shock, or if the baby died during surgery, or if Spencer started to bleed. How could Spencer want the baby saved first? Aaron didn't think that was a possibility at this stage, but he was confused, and he wasn't about to tell anyone. Aaron clenched his fists; he wasn't sure with whom to be angry. He would give Spencer anything that was in his power to give. Aaron looked at Spencer, his face softened; Haley had loved Jack this way, why wouldn't Spencer love their daughter this way. What he meant to say was, "I love you Spencer."

Spencer looked up at Aaron with his honey eyes, all the honesty and innocence in the world still there. "I love you."

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The worst thing, thought Aaron to himself, is that I want him like that. Aaron thought about the angular planes of Spencers body, his jaw lined with stubble, a flush of hair on his chest and a thin line from his hole to his half hard member. Aaron covered his eyes with his hand, pinching his temples together as the nurse escorted him out. How could he want something like that?

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Please please comments?