Chapter 2

A/N: Hey guys. Thanks for anyone who read, and special thanks to all three of my reviewers. I really do appreciate them. Just so everyone knows, I won't update as frequently if there isn't a response to the story, so please let me know what you guys think after you've read. It only takes a second! This story will have a lot of flashbacks in it (they will be italicized) and it may be a little confusing at first, but bear with me please! I hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Gossip Girl.

Chuck stood in the corner of the hospital's waiting room, observing his friends – his family. Eric had been pacing the lobby for an hour now, anxiously but politely asking the nurse for any news on Serena. Blair was biting her nails and nervously looking towards the restroom entrance every five or ten minutes, and when she wasn't doing that, she was not so politely demanding someone give her an update. Nate had been glued to his seat since describing the situation he'd found Serena in to a doctor and telling them which drugs and what type of alcohol he had found near her. His blue eyes were visibly filled with tears swimming around them, but none had fallen down his face yet. The third time Chuck had phoned Lily he got through and told her that Serena was in the hospital for 'self-induced reasons'. He assumed she could read between the lines herself and he was right, she said she would be back in the city within five hours…still, no one knew exactly where she had gone.

Blair thought back to the first time she had seen Serena since her return. She and Nate had long since broken up and she had quickly forgiven him, but the fact that Serena of all people had betrayed her in this way had seemed unforgivable, now she was just praying the blonde would be okay.

"Blair!" she heard the familiar voice call out to her from behind and she instantly recognized it. Her first instinct was to turn and envelop the girl who had disappeared without a trace in a bone crushing hug, but then she remembered the events that led up to her leaving, and her icy exterior returned, refrozen over. "Serena, what are you doing back in the city?" her question was friendly enough, but the blonde could easily see that there was anger and venom behind it. She thought back to what truly led her back from boarding school. She thought back to all that blood and not knowing what to do or who to call, to not knowing what was happening. She thought back to the partying and drugs that followed, and the Ben situation. She thought back to how everything went so utterly wrong and how she wasn't sure how it happened. "I just really missed my friends, my best friend, especially".

Blair had to fight the urge to crumble then and there. She had read lack the assuredness in Serena's eyes, and the struggle it took for her to actually come to an answer. Instead of doing just that, though, she dramatically rolled her eyes, "I used to have one of those, before she screwed my boyfriend at a wedding he attended as my date" Serena gasped a bit at this, "Bl-" she was cut off though. "But I don't have one anymore, and that is perfectly fine with me. You know what happens to my enemies, S, that's why most try to avoid becoming one. I knew you were blond, but I thought there had to be a shred of intelligence or at least loyalty under all of that yellow hair. By the way, your shoes went out of style last season, but I guess you wouldn't know, seeing as you've been gone for months." And with those words, Blair turned away from her (ex?)best friend, not fully understanding why she didn't feel more enjoyment in leaving the blue-eyed beauty alone on the crowded Manhattan sidewalk.

"The family of Serena van der Woodsen?" a doctor holding a clipboard spoke, breaking Blair from her silent reverie. She jumped from her seat, nearly tripping over her own feet, and walked determinedly in the direction of the doctor. She was over there quickly; second only to Eric who had been by the front desk. "Is she okay?" she asked the man frantically, barely waiting for Nate and Chuck to be close enough to hear his response. The man gave her a sad smile before shaking his head no. "Were any of you aware of Miss van der Woodsen's mental state?" Blair spoke first, "No. She recently came back from boarding school, but I'm not sure why she left to go in the first place, aside from…mishaps with Nate over there, or why she came back. I didn't know she was…like this. I didn't know that things had gotten so drastic". Eric scoffed, rolling his eyes at Blair's words, but didn't say anything to correct them.

The doctor wrote something down on his chart before looking back up at them, "did you know about her drug and alcohol abuse, or that she was so unstable?" At these words everyone looked down except Chuck. "Serena is not some druggie. She's not depressed or unstable. She uses drugs sometimes. She has since we were in eighth grade, but she did not overdose on purpose. She wouldn't. She was going through a rough time, but she was fine" he bit out the last words, nearly growling at the man in front of him. He knew Serena, and she didn't let anything get her down, not for long, anyway. The doctor seemed unfazed at Chuck's aggressive response; it was normal for the loved ones of people to react poorly and deny anything had been unusual. No one wants to be the one who missed the signs of suicide. "Sir,- " "Chuck Bass", the doctor restarted his sentence. "Mr. Bass, you may not want to accept it, but Ms. Van der Woodsen swallowed seventeen Valium and twenty-two sleeping pills, and her alcohol levels were high above the legally intoxicated mark. It was attempted suicide, especially if she was as familiar with drugs as you all claim" his words shut them up, and he took a deep breath before continuing.

"Now I'm asking again, was there any reason, any causes that any of you could think of for why she would do this?" No one spoke, and he shook his head; it was very typical that no one would tell the truth. "Very well. When Miss van der Woodsen's mother arrives, we will see what she wants to do with the situation at hand. Until then, she is being put on suicide watch. Family can visit before we move her. She's barely awake, and if there is any trouble, visits to her room will cease. Mr. van der Woodsen, you can follow me" the doctor led Eric away towards the elevator. Eric shot one last glare in their direction before following after the man quickly.

"It was us" Nate said, barely above a whisper, but the dead silence of the three allowed the words to be heard very clearly. "Don't be ridiculous Nathaniel. Nothing we have done could have pushed Serena this far" Chuck said, although it was easy to hear the uncertainty in his voice. "No Chuck. It was us" he said again, more confidently. "None of us even wondered why she came back so abruptly. All we've done is make life hell for her, and anyone could see what it was doing to her. When was the last time she had a conversation with anyone at school who wasn't a teacher or Eric? And God, when was the last time she even defended herself to us? She's just been taking everything we've dished out and we just kept going and now she's in a hospital, Blair, and she swallowed pills, like an entire bottle, and she tried to kill herself. That is not the Serena from before all of this. We did this" Nate ranted on, getting more and more frantic with each word.

"Shut up Nate! I did not almost kill my best friend. I didn't, so stop saying it" Blair barked, seething. She couldn't let what Nate was saying be true. She had been harsh, she knew, but it didn't warrant this and she refused to believe something more wasn't the cause of it. "Well we played a part, and any part is enough to take the blame" Nate whispered before walking away. "You're wrong Nate! You're wrong!" Blair shouted through the lobby, for once not minding the stares she was getting for doing something as uncouth and socially unacceptable as yelling in public. "He's wrong, Chuck, right?" she asked, fighting back tears and choking on sobs. Chuck couldn't watch Blair cry without doing something, but he wouldn't lie to her either. They played a part, and everyone who had borne witness to their actions as of late knew it. "I don't know, Blair. But I will find out" he wrapped her into a strong hug, never wanting to let go until he could erase all of the day's pain like a bad dream. He also made a mental note to get his PI on figuring out what had truly gone on as soon as he returned to his suite.

Nate walked to the front desk, still reeling about what they had done. Maybe Blair wasn't responsible, in fact, he knew she wasn't totally responsible, nor could she be nearly as much as he was. He had said terrible things to her the last time they spoke – well, argued – and he couldn't shake that he should have known. He saw the instability in her eyes, how she begged him to just stop and listen to her. She kept repeating it over and over, 'Just listen, Nate. Please' but he had ignored it. Kept going on about how selfish she was, and how he would never forgive her for just leaving the way she had after the Shepard Wedding and how he wished she hadn't come back, wished she would go again. He yelled and accused and spewed hurtful words, words he knew would cut her in the most sensitive spots, and he never listened. Even the things she was saying, he couldn't really remember. All that kept repeating in his mind were her words, her mantra, 'Just listen, Nate. Please'. She had begged and he ignored, and now she was barely alive; she didn't even want to be alive.

He had to apologize, to make sure she was okay, and to hear her say it was an accident and laugh airily about the power of Valium and her refusal to read a label. He just wanted to make sure that she was still Serena. He asked the nurse at the desk for her room number and after a white lie about being her step-brother he may his way to the elevator. As he walked down the corridor, he noticed all of the other depressed and gray and pale-faced people in the wing; Serena didn't – couldn't – belong here. He finally arrived outside of her room but stopped, noticing that Eric was still visiting with her.

Eric pushed the door open slightly, walking quietly into her room. "Serena" he spoke softly, but loud enough so that she could hear him. He watched as she slowly turned her face from the direction opposite of the door and towards the chair he had sat down in. "Hey Eric. It's crazy that I'm in here, huh? They think that I tried to kill myself" she said in a mock whisper, laughing a little at the end, but he could tell it was hollow. "That's usually what people assume when you've taken almost forty pills and mixed them with alcohol, S" he said, not amused. "What's going on?" he asked, his eyes pleading with her for the truth. "I'm sorry, Eric. I just, it hurtsso much to be here with everyone and to not actually be with them, and all I do is screw things up. I didn't mean to hurt you, though. I guess I couldn't even do this right" she sniffled and wiped at a stray tear before it could fall completely down her face.

"Everyone wants you here, Serena! Nate and Blair and Chuck are in the lobby – "

"To see if I lived, Eric! It has been made perfectly clear that I do nothing but complicate everyone's life. Mom doesn't even stay around"

"I'm still here" he whispered. "I want you here. Why would you just try to leave forever after I just got you back? I love you, Serena. You're my sister"

"You'd be better off without me, E. I ruin things. Everyone's life goes better when I'm out of the picture"

Nate walked into the room after hearing this, he couldn't stand in the shadows and let Eric try and handle this all on his own when it wasn't even his fault. "Serena, you can't think that"

She looked at the door, hearing the familiar, yet invading voice. "It's exactly what you said three days ago, Nate!" Nate looked in Eric's direction, hoping he would leave, "I'm not going anywhere. Whatever you have to say, to Serena, you can say in front of me" he said defiantly, daring Nate to argue with him. "E, just five minutes, okay?" He couldn't believe she actually wanted to speak to this jerk, but he would give her what she wanted. "I'm right in the hallway. If I hear raised voices, I'm coming back in and you" he said, looking pointedly at Nate, "are leaving". With those words he exited the room.

"Why are you here, Nate? Think of more ways to say that I ruined your life and couldn't wait to tell me them?" she said sarcastically. "Serena, you can't have thought I meant those things. I was just hurt because you left and then came back and it just confused me and…and I don't know" he finished lamely. She let out a hollow laugh. "You were hurt. I left you. Did you ever think that I left for me? That there was a reason I came back? That I just wanted things to work and to forget everything that had happened, or were you too consumed in yourself, too caught up thinking about how much of a regretI am to you? If I'm so troublesome in your life, then just get out""S, come on. That can't be the reason you did something like this. It's not enough reason, and this isn't you. Just tell me what went wrong" he was pleading with her now.

"Everything went wrong, Nate! I slept with my best friend's boyfriend. I get to Connecticut and so much just happens and everything that shouldn't just did and I couldn't even stop it and then I come back and you and everyone else treat me like I have the plague. You think I ruined your life, that I destroyed you, well anything I did to you, it felt so much worse, like so much more to me. Now get out, and take Chuck and Blair with you" she finished off, anger lacing her voice, but her eyes telling a much sadder story.

Nate left the room with his head hanging dejectedly, and upon entering the hallway he saw Eric's steely glare. Eric pointed towards the window at Serena's crying form, "I told you all to leave. Whatever you did or said or think you need to do now, just stop" and with those words he went back into the room. Nate stepped off the elevator to see Chuck and Blair hanging on to one another for dear life. When Chuck saw Nate he stood and straightened his jacket, "I'm going to go see her. Get to the bottom of this" he began walking towards the elevator, but Nate put his hand on his chest to still him, "Don't. She doesn't want…just don't" and those were all the words the three teens in the lobby exchanged before filing out of the hospital and past a confused Lily.

After dropping Nate and Blair back at their respective homes, Chuck returned to his. He shrugged his jacket off and removed his scarf and shoes, then dialed a familiar number. "I need you to find out everything Serena van der Woodsen has done in the past six months" he listened to the words that the man on the other line was speaking, "Put all other projects on hold and focus solely on this" he listened once more, "You're looking for anything that could trigger an emotional breakdown. Boyfriends, police interaction, anything" there was a short pause, "I don't pay you to ask questions. Just do it" and with those last words, he hung up the phone and poured a glass of scotch.

A/N: Wow. That was longer than I expected. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed, and leave comments, good or bad, it'll make me update sooner. Also, does anyone know the name of Chuck's PI? I felt bad leaving him nameless lol. If I get reviews, the next update will be ridiculously sooner than it will be if I only receive a couple. Until next time…

- Aryn