Pay Check

Chapter Two- Finding Nemo Dead

"Uzumaki Naruto, please report to floor three, section one, men's clothing area."

I glanced up at the speaker,

"And how do ya' expect me to get there HUH!" I yelled angrily. "This place is ENORMOUS and the workers don't get a directory!"

"Chicken-head go help Fish-pasty find floor three, section one." Iruka said calmly, typing away on his computer.

Sasuke glared at Iruka, "Don't call me that! And why me?"

Iruka motioned towards Shizune absently, "Shizzy- run has a present for you if you do."

Shizune glanced at Iruka in bewilderment, "I do not!" she snapped.

Sasuke grumbled something about 'not being a little kid who liked presents' but motioned for the me to follow him.

"Uzumaki Naruto, please disregard your summoning and stay where you are and I swear Jiraiya if you call another worker as a model for your porn-"

The office was silent for a long moment and I was mildly disturbed.

"Who's…Jiraiya…?" I asked hesitantly.

Sakura grinned, "A porn artist. Apparently, he thinks you're good enough to model."

"I AM good enough! I'm large, and hot, and smexy, and gorgeous! I think I'll go accept his off-"

"It's gay porn." Sasuke interrupted.

"er…Say what?"

"It's. GAY."

I cringed.

"Porn." Sasuke finished. With a smirk the raven stared at me.

"Gay."

I flinched.

"GAY!"

I spasmed.

"Gay. gay, gay, gay, GAY, GAY!"

I couldn't be blamed for my actions as I lunged for Sasuke's throat. Just before I got my hands around his neck Shizune interrupted.

"Naruto why does the word 'gay' make you twitch?"

"I had a bad experience in high school."

Shizune raised one slim brow, "Explain?"

"Yes," Sasuke interjected, "Please explain why you keep trying to kill me!"

I sighed, "People always called me gay and so I was chased home every day by the homosexuals of our school because I was 'cute'. It was an all-boys school so five sixths of the boys were gay and one half of the 'straight' boys were bi. Sometimes, when I didn't run fast enough, they'd catch me and simply kiss me over and over again…..oh yeah Sasuke? I try to kill you a lot because it's fun. You should try it sometime."

With that I walked back to my cubicle, ignoring Shizune's gape and Sasuke's Uchiha Death Glare™ I began my usual flow of random chatter. Eventually the office settled into work mode- Iruka typed out documents that Sakura folded as they rolled out of the printer. Shizune placed each document in an envelope before handing it to Sasuke to stamp. Kakashi (who strolled in an hour late) wrote addresses on each envelope before handing the envelope to me. I kept up an endless flow of chatter as I organized the envelopes by country, then city.

Finally, Iruka stretched and cracked his neck, we had finished. I organized the last few envelopes, still jabbering. Shizune jerked her hair out of its bun and snapped at her partner, Sasuke.

"Shut Blonde Boy Wonder up and I'll make a cover story for you to miss work twice."

Sasuke groaned as he stood and stretched, sauntering over to the chair I inhabited. He placed one knee in the chair and settled his hands on my shoulders. Slowly, my voice died out as he leaned down to my ear, breathing warmly on the shell.

"If you don't keep that mouth closed, little blonde, I'll find it something…better to do."

I gaped silently as Sasuke removed himself from me and smirked at Shizune.

"I'm taking the next two days off." He said as he left the office.

My mouth stayed open as Iruka discussed repainting the white office some other color, and as all the other workers packed up to leave. In fact, I stayed in that chair until the janitor came to turn the lights out.

Then I went to my car and gaped some more.

Dama Dama Dama Dama Dama Dama Dama Dama Dama Dama Dama Dama Dama Dama Dama Dama

I froze as I stepped out of the elevator into the (white) hallway. I watched as Sakura and Shizune hauled a cubicle out of the office and lined it up beside several others. A suspiciously headache inducing scent tickled my nose and it took me a moment to realize what it was: Paint.

I ran into the office, gawk at the ready, only to find two of the upper half of the originally white walls blue. Iruka glanced my way, violet paint in hand, and called cheerily,

"Naruto! Grab a brush and help out!"

"What are you doing?" I asked, still taking in my surroundings.

Suddenly, Iruka's cheery smile disappeared and he snapped, "I'm painting! What does it look like! Can't you see this paintbrush! Can't you see the wall! Hurry up and help out!"

I felt a hand push my jaw back up and looked over to Kakashi.

"It's that time of month." The white haired man said, clasping my shoulder.

"Ah," I said with a understanding nob to Kakashi's retreating figure before what he said sunk in. "Iruka's not even female!" I yelled.

Kakashi ignored me and I sighed, walking back into the office to help the rest of my work mates.

~.~.~

I couldn't help but laugh at the finished product of our office. I stared contently at the upper half of the wall where, emblazoned in bubble letters was 'Finding Nemo'. The upper half of Nemo was his normal orange and the fish looked ridiculously joyful. I let my eyes drift down to the bottom half that we'd painted with oil stains and such around the word 'Dead' in gothic letters. The lower half of Nemo was indeed dead, nothing more than his bones and…bones.

Iruka peeked into the office. "Naruto, I don't care how much you like the mural if I have to tell you to leave the office one more time Imma pop you one. Paint can make you pass out y'kmow!"

I ighed and gave Iruk a dry look. "I'll leave if you never use the term 'Imma pop you one' again."

Iruka smiled, "Deal."

At that moment Sasuke entered the office. "What the fuc-"

"I thought you were taking today off too." I said.

He glanced at me. "I had a feeling of deep foreboding."

"Was it right?" I asked.

"Yes." He whispered in dejection. "Nemo's dead."

A/N: YAY! Chapter two is out! Ashen sign in I hate writing review responses in the chappie. Anyway, I wanna thank Rizember, Ashen Warrior, Sasalia32, and Khandalis for convincing me to continue this fic.

-Damadama!