Most of the characters and situations in this story belong to J.K. Rowling, Warner Brothers, and other entities, and I do not have permission to borrow them. All others belong to me, and if you want to play with them, you have to ask me first. No infringement is intended in any way, and this story is not for profit. Any errors are mine, all mine, no you can't have any. Opinions expressed by the characters may or may not be those of the author. Price subject to change without you noticing. Void where there's a vacuum.
Still new to this fandom; still assuming that it's all been done already. Any unoriginality is accidental.
As ever, Cincoflex and Trialia looked this over thoroughly. I couldn't do it without them.
Apologies for the tardiness of this chapter. I meant to post on Tuesday, but I was too nervous, and then was away from home the next two nights. However, it's a nice long one-somewhat mitigated by the fact that I am very bad at writing smut. *shrug* Read at your own risk.
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The withdrawal of arms from around her woke her in the morning, just enough to be aware of Sev sliding out from under the covers as cautiously as he'd gone in. Lily lay still, sleepily savouring the thought of all the time they had to spend ahead of them.
It took her a while to come to full awareness, but eventually the whistle of the old-fashioned kettle pushed her to roll over and get up, grimacing. I hate sleeping in my clothes.
She rummaged in her rucksack for her dressing gown, pausing at a knock on the now-closed door. "Hmm?"
"I'm going to have a bath," came Sev's voice through the wood. "Tea's on."
"Morning person," Lily tossed back, heavy on the mock disgust, and all but heard his smirk.
The rain had stopped. Lily took her tea out the back door and let the wind off the moor chill her thoroughly, enjoying the fresh coldness of it and the gorgeous scents of heather and gorse blossom. It was going to be a lovely day even if it would require gloves, and she mentally planned a walk after breakfast and her own bath—probably alone, as Sev was no doubt eager to get to work.
So it proved. Lily took herself to the small village a mile distant and picked up fresh eggs and milk, content just to let the day unfold as it would. But when she was halfway back to the cottage, a tall figure in a black school cloak met her on the path, taking the bag from her and hooking her arm through his.
"Missed me?" Lily asked, grinning at him as they walked. Sev's return smile was wistful.
"Yes," was all he said, but it made her throat ache, and Lily shifted closer to him.
After lunch they worked together in the makeshift lab. Sev, nearing graduation, had a number of recipes he wanted to refine in preparation for patenting, and while Lily didn't have what she privately considered his inventive genius, her own skills were not inconsiderable. And she did have an intuition Slughorn had labelled "remarkable", which came in handy for just such work.
"You still have to show me how you created my perfume," she reminded Sev as they were cleaning up before supper. She wore the stuff every day, though it seemed like a wild indulgence to use it so freely; but she loved the scent, and Sev loved it too, and he'd already promised to make her more when she ran out.
He tightened a stopper in a long-necked bottle, lips quirking. "I can show you my notes, but if you wish to try it yourself, it will have to wait until summer. It's not a quick process."
"No, I imagine not." Lily watched as he reached for a wax stick to label it. "How did you get it so exact?"
Sev's shoulders hunched slightly, and he stared down at the objects in his hand. "That. Well."
She could almost smell the guilt. Lily stepped back slightly and folded her arms, curious and a bit apprehensive. "Yes?"
Sev set both the bottle and the stick down with careful precision, lining them up as if a centimetre's deviation would ruin something. "I…I had to…mimic you. To get it right, you see."
Lily waited, saying nothing, and Sev sighed, not looking up from the narrow table. "Polyjuice."
It took her a second to understand what he meant. "You…turned yourself into me?"
He met her eyes finally, distressed and almost frantic. "Only long enough to test it, Lily, I promise! That's all. I would never…never…I mean…"
The apprehension dissolved, to be replaced by amusement and an odd tenderness. The litany of jokes that had accompanied the classroom lecture on Polyjuice ran through her head, all the sniggers over what one might do in another's body, but she couldn't imagine Sev doing any such thing. Lily unfolded her arms and reached out to cup his worried face in her hands. "Sev, stop. It's all right."
He blinked, and she smiled at him, shaking her head. "I understand. That was very clever of you, really."
"You're—" He cleared his throat, hands rising to touch her forearms. "You're not angry?"
"No." She leaned up to brush a quick kiss over his mouth. "Though, next time you just test it on me directly, all right?"
He closed his eyes, pressing his forehead against hers and relaxing. "All right."
Lily held him close for a long moment. When he let go, she stepped back again so he could turn and put the bottle on the shelf above. "You're welcome to make your own, of course, but I can do it more quickly," he said.
Lily grinned, and slid her arms around his waist from behind. "I'd like to return the favour, actually."
The sound of Sev's indrawn breath made her spine crinkle pleasantly, as did the feel of his hands covering hers. "I…would like that."
"It's a date, then." She kissed his shoulder, then pulled away. "I believe you promised to make supper today."
His glance back was smiling, no longer distressed. "So I did."
It was a simple matter, then, while he was distracted in the kitchen, for Lily to point her wand up the living-room chimney and quietly dislodge a brick. And after supper, when she lit the fire, the smoke that backed up into the room had them decamping quickly to the front bedroom.
"I still think it can be fixed," Sev said, settling down cross-legged on the thick carpet with his book.
Lily shrugged, sprawling on her stomach on the other side of the bedroom's smaller hearth. "Sure, but it can wait until morning when we can see properly."
"Hm." He was already absorbed in the pages, and Lily hid a smirk in her novel and tried to relax. And they say Gryffindors can't be devious. She'd already cast a contraceptive spell, after all.
The book was interesting, but she still kept sneaking looks at Sev, whose hair was hanging in his face as usual. Perhaps he thought it masked his own glances her way, but her peripheral vision was quite good, and Lily was glad to see he couldn't concentrate either.
Eventually she rolled over and stretched, knowing her shirt was riding up and not caring. "Ooh, it's good to know there's no classes tomorrow."
"They are getting brutal," Sev agreed, setting his book aside—he never needed bookmarks, the wretch—and rotating his head on his neck with a grimace. "If I have to sit through one more of Slughorn's revision classes I may hex him just for some peace."
Lily laughed and sat up, crawling over to kneel behind him. "As if you aren't doing your Charms essays while he drones on." She dug her thumbs into the stiff muscles of Sev's neck and listened happily to his groan of relief.
"Yes, well, if he didn't keep asking for corroboration I might make fewer blots." Sev bowed his head in a silent plea for more, and Lily obeyed, feeling knots loosen beneath her touch. It was the perfect place, the perfect moment, she thought; dark and cold outside but cosy within, just the two of them with no one to interrupt, and her beloved sighing happily under her hands. Lily leaned forward and kissed his nape lightly. Mine.
Gradually she moved her hands forward to undo the first few buttons of his shirt and slip her fingers under his collar. His skin was almost hot to the touch now, and he shivered as she moved from rubbing to stroking. Yes. Yes, that's it.
But when she tugged his shirt free of his trousers, Sev stiffened, and then pulled away as she lifted the hem. "Lily—"
I was right.
"Mm?" She kept her tone casual. "If you're shy, I can go first."
That made him turn, eyes widening. Lily hid her own shyness and crossed her arms, pulling her shirt off in one quick motion and catching his gasp even through the rustle of fabric past her ears. She felt herself blushing, but the desire on his unguarded face gave her courage, and she shuffled around until her back was to him. "Unhook me?"
Undoing her bra was nothing she couldn't do herself, but this was her test. If Sev really didn't want to do this, he could refuse.
For an agonisingly long moment, she thought he would. Then cool fingers brushed her skin, and the garment came loose. Sev worked the straps down her shoulders, letting it fall, and she sucked in a breath at the feel of his reverent kiss on the soft skin of her neck.
His hands slid down her arms, and Lily leaned back against him. They'd touched like this, but never on skin bared to the light, and desire was making her dizzy.
But despite his mouth travelling slowly over her shoulder, Sev's hands didn't move from her arms. Lily thought about putting them where she wanted them, but decided instead to turn and reach for the remaining buttons on his shirt.
As she rather expected, he flinched back, rising to his feet. Lily followed, quite aware of the way his gaze flicked between her bare front and a point over her shoulder. His eyes were wide again, though for a different reason if her guess was right, and his breathing had sped up. In the firelight he looked almost elemental, half his face catching a glow from the flames and half of it still pale.
He was so very beautiful.
Lily knew he would never agree, and in fact that most people would argue with her, unable to see past his sullen expression, his thin frame and large nose, his general air of disdain and cold superiority. But she could; she saw him as he truly was, and no flashy conventional handsomeness would ever compare.
And she wanted him. Stepping forward, she reached out.
"Lily…" Sev's voice was strained, but she ignored the warning and finished unbuttoning his shirt.
"Turn about, remember?" She undid his cuffs impatiently and reached up to slip the garment from him, but he caught her wrists, fingers wrapping tightly. When she looked up his mouth was tight, his brows drawn together in what looked like anger but she knew to be fear.
"I can't. You can't, Lily, it's—"
She cut the words off with her lips, feeling his grip loosen, and teased him with her tongue until she could twist her arms free. Under other circumstances she might have wondered how to ease him past the old shame, but desire and boldness made her mind agile, and she knew exactly what to do. Lily pulled back, catching his gaze. "Yes, you can. I'll show you."
The scarf she'd picked up at home was draped over the end of the bed. Lily stepped past Sev to scoop it up, and embraced him from behind before he could turn. His breath hissed out as she pressed up against him, and Lily shivered at the sensation of her bare skin scraping delicately along the linen of his shirt. Quickly, not giving him time to stop her, she brought up the scarf and covered his eyes.
He stiffened, and Lily leaned into him, resting her chin on his shoulder to whisper in his ear. "I'll stop if you really want me to, Sev, but it will be all right. I promise." She pressed her lips to the delicate skin behind his ear. "Trust me…please trust me."
Sev wasn't even breathing; then he shuddered and exhaled, chin going up in a sign of surrender. "I trust you," he muttered.
His giving in was sweeter than honey. Lily let out her own nervous breath and tied the blindfold swiftly, careful not to catch his hair in the knot, then put her hands on his shoulders and turned him to face her.
She kissed him with concentration and love, until he relaxed again and embraced her, his mouth willing and wicked against hers. Slowly, Lily stripped his shirt away, pushing it off his shoulders and down, though when it reached his elbows he broke away again, fists clenching. She ignored that and pulled the garment free, letting it drop without care for creases.
He was beautiful. Lily let her fingers sweep over the taut, pale skin, circling his nipples and listening to his gasp, dancing down the ribs that were still a little too prominent with youth and lean living, teasing the faint dusting of hair across his abdomen. She had absolutely no idea where all this initiative was coming from, but it was there and she needed it—Sev needed it—so she didn't question.
But as enticing as his front was, she was more concerned with the other side at the moment. Lily kissed the hollow of Sev's throat, which made him tilt his head back in startled pleasure, and eased him back towards the bed.
It took a little coaxing to get him to lie down, and for a moment Lily thought he might pull off the blindfold and refuse, but she pressed him gently onto his belly. "Trust me. Just trust me."
His body was rigid enough to use as a Quidditch bat, Lily thought, but he complied, head up over his crossed arms and hands fisted on the quilt. If he'd been the least bit less so, she might have teased him about it, but instead she knelt beside him and rested her fingers on either side of his neck.
The light was mellow, but it was quite enough to see what she'd spotted earlier. The velvety skin of Sev's back was uneven, faintly ridged with thin scars that spoke of years of abuse. Probably a belt…
Lily let her fingers drift down over his shoulder-blades, stroking along the fine wings of bone, and carefully set her fury aside, locking a mental door on it and promising to see to it later. Sev's breathing was rough and uneven with distress, and he needed all her attention now.
She paused long enough to twist her hair into a quick knot, then bent until she could touch the topmost scar with her lips. Sev jerked, grabbing at the fabric beneath him, but Lily moved with him, holding the contact until he stilled and she could brush her mouth along the rougher skin.
He started whimpering when she kissed the third one, and Lily let satisfaction roll over her and kept on. Gradually Sev relaxed, going limp against the mattress, though the soft sounds did not cease. She kissed each of the marks with tender thoroughness, regretting that she could not heal a lifetime's worth of pain in one night.
But one must begin somewhere.
The waistband of his trousers was loose; she tugged gently, pulling the garment down as far as it would go, but it seemed that the scars ended just above the curve of his backside. Still, the unmarred skin was enticing too, and Lily laid a kiss there as well, where his spine became his tailbone.
Sev's strangled sound might have been a word. He flipped over so fast that she didn't have time to sit up, and his arms around her waist pulled her flush against him. "Take it off."
His voice was strained, but no longer afraid. Lily let out a satisfied smile, and reached up to untie the blindfold.
At this distance, she could tell his pupils from the black of his irises, and they were blown so wide that the iris was almost gone. "Miracle," he said, and kissed her, one of those overwhelming, consuming kisses that allowed her to concentrate on nothing but him. Lily gave into it, vaguely aware of movement, but it wasn't until his head lifted that she found their positions reversed and several pillows between her and the headboard.
"…What?" she asked, struggling to make sense of his comment.
One corner of Sev's mouth tilted upwards, and he moved to kneel beside her, hands sliding up to cup her jaw. "You are a miracle," he said, and went back to kissing her, working his fingers up far enough to undo the knot in her hair.
Little as she could resist his intensity, Lily wasn't about to give up control. She slid her hands up his arms to his shoulders, stroked down over his collarbone, splayed her fingers across his chest again, wishing for a dazed moment that he would let her go long enough that she could see what she was touching.
"No," Sev muttered against her lips, then drew back a fraction. "My turn."
Lily gasped as he turned his attention to her throat, squirming as his tongue flicked out to taste her skin. "Since when are we taking turns?"
She felt him smirk, but he didn't reply. Lily huffed, amused, though she could feel gooseflesh rising all over her torso as Sev's mouth moved lower. Reaching up, she caught his wrist and tugged, dragging his hand down until his palm rested between her breasts.
To her frustration, that had him sitting back on his heels, eyes gone wide again. But before she could protest, he flattened his hand against her breastbone, and she could feel her heartbeat echoing off his palm.
He moved so slowly that Lily was almost impatient, but his expression stole her breath instead. He was transfixed, lips parted as he allowed his fingers to caress her skin, and the sensation of his fingertips—no longer cool—gliding over the upper slope of her breast was enough to make her flush. She felt her nipple tighten as Sev's hand moved lower, and bit her lip.
When his finger brushed it, she couldn't help leaning into the touch. "Harder," she muttered, surprised to hear herself speak.
His gaze flicked up to her face, then down again, and he covered her breast with his hand, fingers closing gently. The light pressure was just enough, and Lily shuddered as a soft wave of pleasure ran through her. "Oh."
Sev made an answering sound deep in his throat, and repeated the action on her other breast. Lily felt her heart pounding harder, and it was a bit puzzling, because everything she'd ever heard said that women took longer to get aroused. But all I want to do is get him out of those trousers and—
"Lily?" Sev's voice was barely more than a whisper as his caress continued. "May I kiss you here?"
The suggestion alone made her flush. "Anywhere you want," she told him, breath catching, because she'd had dreams about this.
She saw him shiver, and then he bent over her, hair swinging down in a cool tickle. At the first soft graze of his lips Lily's eyes snapped shut, her back arching slightly, and she felt Sev's arms on either side of her hips, bracing him as his mouth quested over her, laying tingling trails wherever he touched. He sipped at her, slid kisses across her, even dared a tiny bite, and Lily wrapped her arms around his shoulders and tried to pull him closer. It felt so good, so incredibly good, but she wanted more.
He was straddling her now, and Lily gave up on his shoulders and braced herself, shoving precisely. Sev started as she slid downward, bringing them nose to nose, and she smirked at him and reached for the fastening of his trousers.
"Did I do something wr—" he began, the word choking off as she fumbled with the buttons. "Lily!"
She halted, meeting his eyes directly. "Do you want to stop?"
Sev swallowed hard. "Merlin's glory, no." And he smiled, slow and wry and just sensual enough to kick up her pulse again. "But if we're taking turns—"
His hand slid down her stomach, tickling her not quite enough to make her flinch, and rested on the waistband of her jeans. The whispered banishing charm had them slithering down her legs and dropping off the edge of the bed, and Lily rolled her eyes, knowing her face was going pink. "Cheater."
"Muggle," Sev shot back, still amused, though his smile faded when she popped open his buttons at last.
She was already looking, and felt her cheeks heat further, but what came out her mouth was "So you're part Scots then?"
The sound he made was more a collection of consonants than a word. Lily eased his trousers down, absolutely fascinated by the sight of him, and then he managed the charm again and the clothing followed hers. Sev's hand under her chin brought her gaze back up, and she heard him drag in a breath. "I never did learn that bleaching spell that well," he said, wry again.
That had her leaning up to kiss him, hard at first and then very thoroughly, as if she could dissolve the memory if she tried hard enough. Sev tasted her with great concentration, and she pulled him down beside her, inching closer until their bodies were brushing, and oh, there was no question that he was just as aroused as she.
Lily let her hands wander again, fluttering over his sharp collarbone to the smooth strong muscle below it. Sev's own hand was stroking down her side, her spine, settling tentatively on her backside, hot through the thin fabric of her knickers. "May I?" he said against her lips, a bit indistinctly.
"Please." Lily pulled back enough to grin at him, pushing away a pulse of embarrassment, and as he spoke the charm she ducked her head to kiss the hollow of his throat once more. The feel of his palm against her bare skin was thrilling, and she shuddered as his fingers moved in a small circle, as if testing the texture beneath them. "And before you worry about it—" Out of sheer curiosity, she flicked her tongue over his nipple, and was delighted when he twitched. "—I already did the contraceptive spell."
"Good," Sev said faintly, and sank his hand into her hair, tugging gently until his mouth caught hers again. Lily pressed closer, daring to slide her calf over his, and his other hand trailed down, urging her leg higher. The sense of exposure made her shiver, hot and cold and tingling, but it was the warm shape against her belly that had her attention.
Yes, part of her was afraid, or at least apprehensive. First times were supposed to be awkward, painful even, and she didn't want either of them getting upset if things went badly, but—
—But it was Sev in her arms, heating her skin, sprinkling kisses along her jaw and her cheekbone, Sev's hand slipping up to her breast again, and she had to moan at the sensation. Lily left off rational thought and went with instinct, rolling onto her back and pulling him with her.
It was awkward, but they seemed to fit, body to body, and when Sev reached down he nudged her in a way that had her squeaking and lifting her hips. He froze, and then his smile spread against her cheek and he did it again, and again. She couldn't help the squeak each time, and he laughed, breathless. "That's adorable," he murmured.
Lily tried to glare at him. "Sev, if you don't…oh…"
It did hurt, but less than she was expecting, and at the same time it felt amazing. And she would have endured much more pain for the way Sev's face went soft and desperate, the way his hand clenched on the bed-sheet before she pulled him down for another kiss.
He was slow, settling into her, and that helped too, and she thought he tried to ask her if she was all right, but all that came out was a choked version of her name. Lily smiled up at him. "Yes."
The world contracted down to just them, rocking slowly together, and it felt so good and so strange, sweet and sharp and driving. It was a wonder of hot skin and low sounds, and every time their eyes met Lily felt like they were falling into one another, drawing on some connection they'd never known before. Sev began to tremble, his kisses getting almost frantic, and Lily squirmed a little, wanting more, but the angle wasn't quite—
She slid a hand down between them, and found the spot that had made her squeak, and this time touching it made her moan. Yes…there…
Sev saw what she was doing and his eyes squeezed shut. His breath halted, and he jerked forward again and again, and she felt it—hot and liquid and like nothing else—and then Sev gasped, letting the air back out in a groan that made all of her vibrate with triumph and delight. Lily pressed a little harder, and the stretch and the sharp pleasure combined, sweeping her up in a fierce bliss that had her arching into Sev's grip, blind and shaking.
They lay entangled for a long time, saying nothing; nothing needed to be said. Sev's head was heavy on Lily's arm, his midnight eyes wide and solemn and wondering; his free hand wandered slowly along her skin, smoothing her hip, ghosting over her lips, brushing back her hair. Lily breathed in the scent of him, of herself, and let her palm rest on his chest, just over his heart.
She was perfectly, calmly happy.
Eventually her eyelids grew too heavy to keep open. On the edge of sleep, she felt Sev's lips against each one, a feathery touch, and then his whisper, soft and reverent.
"Mine."
She might have taken offence, but Lily knew it was simply a fair trade. He had always been hers, after all.
Sleep came on the tide of his breath against her cheek, and Lily let it take her.