Edited by I AM AIR
Kurt looked up to see Puck staring down at him with a smile. A slightly evil and naughty smile that normally would have made Kurt want to run out of the diner but, right now, hunger won out. He could deal with whatever the teenaged hooligan could throw at him as long as he had food.
"Hello Puck. I'm trying to eat, can't you tell?" Kurt said turning back to the menu. With any luck Puck would, go away.
However, this was not a lucky day for Kurt, so of course, Puck went to the seat opposite him and sat down. "Yeah, but where's the little squad you travel with? Aren't you and Aretha attached at the hip?"
Kurt stressed his friend's name as he answered Puck. "Mercedes is with her family tonight." He said, trying to keep his answers direct and to the point. If he was boring enough, Puck might leave. He knew that the main reason the Puck mocked him was due to strong reactions he had to the teasing. It was hard not to respond. Puck seemed to know his buttons better than anyone else. It was kind of amazing how well his tormentor knew him.
Just as Puck was about to say something, the waitress came up. It was actually the owner of the establishment who loved to know everyone's business. She wasn't a mean gossip but she said that she like to make sure that her customers felt like she really cared. If that meant that she heard every bit of unsubstantiated rumor that came through the diner door, well, she would just be kind enough to listen.
The forty something year old woman smiled widely at Puck before looking at Kurt. "Now, what can I get for you two darlings?"
Puck smiled softly at the woman. It was a facial expression Kurt had never seen on the crude jock before. It could almost be called fond if it was on someone else. "I'll have the usual if you don't mind, Barb."
Kurt stared at the bizarre scene in front of him. Puck was being well manners and almost human. Shaking his head, he ordered. "I'll have the country fried chicken with white gravy, mashed potatoes, and dumplings on the side. Also, can I have a piece of apple pie and a sundae?" Kurt began kicking his feet slightly over the wonderful food he had just ordered. He could almost taste the mash potatoes in his mouth already.
Barb laughed happily. "I love it when I get customers who know how to eat. I'll be back with the suppers in a minute. Now, do either of you want anything to drink?"
"Chocolate milk." They both said at the same time. Each was shocked by the other's answer. Kurt was amazed that he had anything in common with the jock across from him. Okay, there was glee and football but Kurt knew the reasons for those two similarities were very different. For Puck, both were mostly for showboating. For Kurt, Glee was for enjoyment and football was for his dad.
Barb wrote down their answers with a smile. "No wonder you two bottomless pits are friends. Do you want your desserts now, hun, or later?"
Kurt broke from his staring contest with Puck to look at the jovial woman. "Later would be fine. Thank you."
She laughed. "Such a polite young man." She said as she walked away.
As soon as Barb was out of earshot, Kurt snarled at Puck. "One of your pool cougars?"
Puck smirked as he leant back. "Everyone wants a piece of the Puck."
Kurt rolled his eyes. "You know, you are even more annoying in third person."
"Oh come on, Hummel. You just want a piece, too. And that's okay, you can look but no touch. Cause not so much with the gay here." Puck said seemly polite.
Kurt shook his head at the blatant display of ego. "Please, I like my men more refined."
Puck snorted. "Dude, you were panting over Finn. He isn't any more refined than I am."
Kurt straightened up when he heard 'Finn.' He hissed at Puck. "First of all, I am not a dude and will not be called that. Second, I might have had a little crush on Finn but that is long over. Third, a monkey could be more refined than you."
Puck laughed. "Whoa there, princess. Just calm down. Everyone knows about the thing you have...had for Finn. It's old news."
Kurt flushed. He didn't know he was that transparent about his lust for the quarterback. Seriously, if Puck could figure it out then the whole school must have known.
There was a few minutes of awkward silence at the table since this was one of the first times they had ever talked outside of complete necessity. It was weird that the tormentor was sitting with the tormented. Or at least, the mostly former tormentor.
"So why are you sitting here, Puck?" Kurt asked, finally getting annoyed with the silence.
Puck shrugged. "Barb's gets pretty full about now so I didn't want to waste a table."
Kurt was a little surprise. "That's actually considerate."
"I can be nice if I want to, Hummel." Puck said a little embarrassed.
Any other conversation was stalled by Barb coming to the table with their food. As Barb laid out the food, Kurt discovered that Puck's dinner was much healthier than his. He had what looked like grilled fish and two serving of veggies on the side.
Barb smiled as she placed the two chocolate milks down. "Now, if you need anything else just wave me down."
"Thanks, Barb." Puck said as he put his napkin on his lab and took a sip of his drink. "You're the best."
"Noah, you snake charmer." She laughed as she walked away.
Puck turned to Kurt. "That woman is awesome."
Kurt just shook his head and stared to wolf down his meal. When he was half way done, he glanced up to see Puck look at him with horror.
"What?" Kurt said as he took a quick sip of milk.
"Hummel, I have seen a lot of dudes eat but you are definitely one of the most disgusting." Puck said as he look at how much Kurt had eaten compared to him.
Kurt looked at Puck's plate and was surprised to see most of it still there. The first items gone were actually the veggies. It looked like the teen was some kind of health nut.
"My dad eats like every meal is his last so I kind of picked the habit up." Kurt said, suddenly shy about how he was acting.
Puck took a bite of his fish before replying. "I've seen you eat at school and it's nothing like that."
Kurt took a large cut of chicken and stuffed it in his mouth. He finished chewing just in time to reply. "Yeah but that's little girlie food. I eat that stuff at school to stop the girls from getting mad at me for my metabolism. It's not my fault that I can eat almost anything and not gain weight but try to explain that to a girl who is on a diet. They can get very mean very quickly when they are hungry. Also, the first and only time I ate like I normally do in front of Mercedes, she kept on looking at me like I was crazy."
"Aretha might be in the right here." Puck said laughing.
Kurt pretended to be insulted but was actually enjoying the back and forth with Puck. "Also, Barb's food is amazing."
Puck nodded and swiped some of Kurt's chicken. Before Kurt could say anything, Puck claimed it by licking some of the gravy off. "Delicious."
"Hey! That's mine." Kurt tried not to laugh at the childishness of licking food as a method of claiming it. Kurt could remember doing the same thing to cupcakes when he was in kindergarden. His mom was not as impressed as Kurt thought she should be by his ingenious plan. Hey, it worked.
Puck smiled and held it out for Kurt. "Do you want it back?"
Kurt grimaced. "Marc Jacobs, no. It's totally infected with Puck-cooties. I don't want to know what I could catch."
Puck placed the chicken on his plate and started cutting it up. "I win."
Barb walked up to the table to ask if they needed anything else.
Kurt put on his sweetest smile. "Puck stole my dinner so I'm still starving. Could I get some chicken strips?"
Barb turned to Puck and tsked. "Noah, if you were still hungry I would have gotten you more food. You don't have to steal from your friend. He looks like he barely eats as it is."
Puck sputtered as he tried to come up with an explanation. It did not help that he could see Kurt smirking in the corner of his eye.
Barb turned back to Kurt, who had the lost puppy dog face back on. He knew how to play the victim when needed. It didn't hurt that most women felt like they compelled to feed and protect him since he looked so skinny and fragile. "I'll get them right out for you, hun."
Kurt kept a straight face on for a few seconds after Barb left before he started laughing. "Your face was priceless."
Puck groaned. "You're evil, man."
"I know." Kurt said with a smile.
The rest of the night past quickly. The pair exchanged some interesting insults and talked about their annoyances with some of their Glee members. Rachel seemed to be a topic of much distain on both sides.
Kurt glanced at his phone and saw it read 9:30. He was shocked that he had been at the diner that long, especially with Puck. "Oh Tyra Banks, I have to go." He grabbed some money out of his wallet and placed it on the table.
Puck looked at the money and glanced back at Kurt. "Hey, you totally over paid for your half."
Kurt blinked for a second. He was so used to playing the whole bill for his friends that he was taken aback by Puck's remark. "It's fine. Just give me back the change later. Or better yet give it to Barb." Kurt packed up his things quickly and put on his jacket.
Before Kurt could leave the table, he felt a hand on his arm. He glanced up to see Puck looking at him oddly. "I had a good time tonight, Hummel. You're not too bad to hang out with."
Kurt was in shock. For as worried as he had been at the beginning of the night, he had actually enjoyed himself in Puck's company. "I could say the same for you, Puck. See you tomorrow." Kurt said as the hand fell away.
"Whatever." Puck said as he turned back to the table.
Kurt ran out of the diner to his car.
His dad was going to be furious when he got home. He hadn't called to say he was going to be out and he didn't tell his dad where he was going. Plus, his dad wanted him home by nine-ish most school nights to make sure his homework was done. He knew that he was usual more responsible than this but he didn't want his dad to think that he was trying to misbehave. Honestly, he hadn't meant to be out this long at all.
He drove back as quickly as possible, while still keeping an eye out for cops so he didn't get a ticket. With his luck today, it could totally happen. As he pulled into the drive way, he saw that Finn's car was still there. Kurt walked into his house quietly as the sounds of the TV roaring reached his ears. Dropping his things by the door, he followed the noise.
Burt and Finn were yelling at the screen. The game was in overtime and both men were on their feet. Kurt watched as a kicker made the goal much to the glee of his father and Finn. Burt swung an arm over Finn's shoulders for a bro hug when he noticed his son in the doorway.
Burt smiled at Kurt. "Sorry, Kurt. I guess we were being too loud and interrupted you."
Kurt was confused. His dad hadn't noticed him being gone all night? "Actually, I ju..."
Kurt was interrupted by Finn. "It was a great game. Thanks for having me over."
Burt patted Finn on the back as he showed him to the door. "Anytime. Say hi to your mom and tell her I'm sorry I kept you so late."
Finn smiled. "Will do. Night." Finn opened the door and left.
Burt turned to face Kurt after Finn's exit. "Good kid. The game was amazing but I can't say that after a full day of work, all the excitement didn't get to me. I think I'll hit the sack. I'll see you in the morning. Night."
The elder Hummel went to his room without noticing his son watching him with a puzzled sad look on his face. An expression that didn't leave Kurt for quite a while after Burt fell asleep.